#matriarchaethyta

2. Speed the Collapse– Metric

And when the days that followed past–In another mansion built to last,From our window we could seeOnly possibilities

3. Baby Come Home- Scissor Sisters

I’m layin’ in bed with a whole lot of wonderGoing through my head.This ‘don’t give a fuck’Gets a little bit lonely.

4. Feel it all Around- Washed Out

You feel the thought of learning again–It’s all around.You’re tired of all the things you did–You’ll work it out.

5. This is Gospel– Panic! At the Disco

Don’t try to sleep through the end of the worldAnd bury me aliveCause I won’t give up without a fight.

6. Money- Mindless Self Indulgence

I will conformI will play ballI won’t say fuckI make a sacrifice because I want it all.

7. Aerials- System of a Down

Life is a waterfall.We drink from the river,Then we turn around and put up our walls.

8. Girls/Girls/Boys - Panic! At the Disco

Pose, you’ve gotta save your reputationThey’re close to finding out about your girlfriend.But if you change your mind, you know where I am.Yeah, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.Cause I don’t wanna save your reputation.

9. Homewrecker- Rizzle Kicks

I completely understand and you’re a sweet guyBut I completely love your girlfriend So it looks likeI don’t really care bruv (She’s mine)

10. Carmen - Lana del Rey

The first thing she became aware of was that she wasn’t in her catsuit. They weren’t much, most aptly named street clothes if she ever needed to talk about it. Jacket with a hood, pants. Gloves—just in case she got a little tempted. Whatever she had been doing before this point was meant for her only. But what had she been doing?

The elevator dinged, and the doors creaked open, inviting her to a dark, dimly lit hallway. It was short in length before turning sharply to the right. Another elevator next to her, near identical to her own. The silence swallowed everything, almost peaceful, familiar, but still, Kasumi hesitated. Why couldn’t she remember anything? The day… it had been stressful, and she was going to visit someone, but everything in her mind seemed jumbled, unclear.

The elevator doors shut, and with a sigh, Kasumi began to walk. Maybe she had been meeting someone here, and maybe, maybe someone had fucking hit her head or something. The steps echoed in the high, dome ceiling, only reminding her how empty the place felt and seemed. Rounding the corner though, and the area opened up into something sleek, modern. It was a bar bathed in black with low lights that reminded her of Omega. Columns lined her way with dark leather couches circling the bar table.

“You are very late, Ms. Goto,” and she couldn’t help smiling at the familiar sound of Kiera’s voice, perched on one of the bar stools with a glass of wine in her hand. “Our host was growing agitated.”

“Please don’t speak for me, ma’am.” And he was a tall one indeed. A turian of sheet white plate without a mark on his face, and the most striking green eyes she’d ever seen. Right away, Kasumi tensed up, jaw clenched.

“… Did you set this up?” she asked before sitting beside Kiera, keeping her focus away from the turian.

“No,” which was punctuated by a heavy glare to the bartender. To his credit, he didn’t seem fazed at all by it, mandibles twitching, silent. “I was under the impression that this had been one of your pranks.”

“Kidnapping you isn’t usually on my to-do list.”

“In any other circumstance, I’d find that comforting.”

“No? Maybe we’re in trouble then,” jokes always helped in cases like this. Really, it should be worrying. Their relationship wasn’t exactly common knowledge to anyone that was in the business, beyond maybe being her appraiser. Former employees were easily threatened into silence, and in any case, the bartender didn’t look even remotely familiar. If anything, he was a little unnerving. He posture was stiff and the uniform was out of place on the weird bony anatomy that turians had. He sighed and turned to the collection, hopefully to pour her a glass of wine as well. “I assume you remember nothing before coming here then?”

“That would be correct,” she answered with a small scowl and a glance to Kiera. “Was I visiting you?”

“Perhaps, though you came in later than I had.” Hmm. That was true, wasn’t it? She tapped her fingers against the bar table, trying to draw some of that buried memory out. Usually, whatever couldn’t be dredged up would be easily supplied by the grey-box, but weirdly, even that seemed to be failing her. Drugged then? It seemed like the strongest possibility.

A glass was set in front of her, a wine of dark red and a strong aroma that was almost inviting despite the seriousness of the situation. “So. Where are we?”

The turian remained still as a statue.

“Most kidnappers don’t serve drinks and food like this, you know,” Kasumi pointed out with a wry smile. “I mean, you’re part of the business right? I know we don’t exactly have a college for this sort of thing, but—“

“No.” the turian answered.

Real friendly, this guy.

“Then why are we—“

They were answered when he brought a big red button to the table and behind him with a clunk, a board with nine squares and an odd emblem, a design Kasumi couldn’t recognize off the top of her head, bathed in red. “It would be unwise to struggle, as is your tendency.” He pushed the button forward with two talons. “You will play a game with your lives at stake, and you cannot leave until it is done.”

Kiera was unimpressed. “Excuse us then. A hard deal like that needs some… time,” and with that she was yanked out of her seat by her investor and dragged further back in the bar behind one of the many columns.

She swallowed back a small groan. “What do you think?”

“Do you have your gun?” She nodded and then she spotted the glow of Kiera’s biotics with a sideways smile. “Then we shoot. For someone of our skills, his threats are hardly impressive.”

Something still didn’t seem right though. It was easy to let her curiosity get the best of her, even if it was easier to just shoot the guy and run. She peered throughout the bar, noting that it had been larger than she originally thought, with several rooms along the back wall. If the place was really as expansive as it seemed, could they really lock all the exits? “… Maybe we should check if he’s telling the truth first.”

Kiera shot her an amused smile. “It’s unlike you to worry about a system, Ms. Goto.”

“And this is the first time I’ve been kidnapped where I’ve been left to wander around on my own. I’m telling you, something isn’t right. Let me check the exits.”

Kiera sighed, but she could tell already she was conceding. “Likely the elevators have been shut down; however… I have not seen anything else that might resemble an exit.”

“It’s a start anyway.” She brought her hand forward, tried to start the omni-tool, but… Nothing. No spark of life, no indication that it had been there in the first place. Oh. That might be an issue. “Huh.”

“They had the presence of mind to take your omni-tool, but not your gun?” She pinched the bridge of her nose before turning on her heel, “I’ll check the elevators. Perhaps you should make sure a thermal clip is actually there.”

Sure enough, there wasn’t, but they didn’t seem to bother to limit Kiera at all. Maybe they still only saw her as some art collector—just one that had managed to get the best thief in the business under her heel. Though most asari used biotics in some capacity, didn’t they?

It didn’t take long for Kiera to return and with a firm shake of the head; Kasumi knew they were essentially stuck. They could kill the guy, but it wouldn’t get them much farther than they were now. At least playing along could get them information, even with the inherent risk.  Whoever this guy was, he seemed to be thorough and confident. That alone was enough to make her nervous, if not excited for what was to come. “Looks like we have a challenge then.”

“So it seems.” The turian didn’t seem surprised when they returned and once again, pushed the button toward them, something of a smile hidden by his mandibles. “If you would.”

Kiera never tore her eyes from him as she pressed it, a gaze that was cold and dark. Kasumi did her best to ignore it as a square on the board lit up and began to travel through the different squares for about a minute before it stopped on a square on the bottom center row. With a celebratory jingle the square flipped revealing a phrase neatly written in… was that katakana? Here? Thank god the English words were underneath. “You… You want us to play chess? That’s all?” Kasumi was incredulous, but for all the turian cared, she may not have spoken at all. He rounded the lengthy bar table and with a fluid motion, waved to one of the doors in the backroom. “It’s a little clichéd, isn’t it?”

Kiera eased a smile. “We should be thankful for something that we are both familiar with. … Little else seems to be in our favor as it stands.” Poignant and very unfortunately true. Her hand came around Kasumi’s arm, and with reluctance inside of them, they followed the turian inside the back door.

The lighting was as dim as the hallway, nearly bathing the large rectangular room in blue. There wasn’t much else inside that Kasumi could see, aside from a large table with two chairs on either side of it. The chess set, a beautiful, carefully crafted glass set, was resting on the table with all the pieces set up and ready. From the initial look, there didn’t seem to be any catch to the request. This was strange. Very strange.

“The chess game will be standard. The first to win two games will win.”

Really? That was it? … Why? She stiffened and took mechanical steps toward the table, ever cautious for what might arise from such apparent transparency. However, there wasn’t anything that was out of the ordinary about it. At least, at first.  It really was a remarkable chess set, just a quick glance telling her how expensive it had to have been, how much effort it was put in to craft each glass piece with such loving detail, and—

Wait. Didn’t the pieces look familiar?

Kiera couldn’t hide her own shock and oh, how the temper was flaring beneath her stoic expression. The look to the turian was sharp with curled fists. “You tapped into my security. Had to.”

The turian remained unfazed. “Please begin.”

Kiera’s jaw clenched. Even Kasumi had to admit it was a little creepy. They were people she knew, all of them, some she had tossed away—broken relationships that served as pawns. Chotha, the turian that had double-crossed her, an ex or two. Many of the rank pieces she recognized from the Normandy with Shepard and Kiera serving as knights. Hm. How fitting.  Each piece had been lovingly crafted to near-perfect accuracy. The only damage really had been her king. But the eyes were there, always recognizable. Scratches lined his torso and his arms were gone, but that was Keiji. Her queen though? It was an asari for sure, but… huh. It wasn’t Kiera.

At least Kiera’s pieces seemed just as awkward. Like before the pawns seemed to serve the broken relationships, employees that had been disposed of over the years, people that no longer matter. Ranked pieces were the more trusted associates, the turian security chief one knight and what seemed to be her mother the other. She was Kiera’s queen and the king… hm. A girl?

“That’s… interesting.”

“You’re more nonchalant about this than I expected you to be,” Kiera mused.

“If he knows this much, I’m not sure there’s really anything I can do about it,” she admitted, chin in her palm. “I’m just glad my mother’s not on the board anywhere. That would’ve been awkward.”

Kiera chuckled. “You did have a habit of taking what you could from a situation.” She studied the pieces for a moment and with a contained smile, she moved one of her pawns forward. “It’s been a while since we played together, hasn’t it?”

“Mm.” She moved to meet her pawn.

“What was the score?”

“A tie, I think,” Kasumi said, “Though we could settle it here, couldn’t we? You were always a very ruthless opponent.”

“And few humans have ever matched me.”

She laughed. “Well that’s why you kept me, wasn’t it? I made things exciting for you. And I mean look at this. What do you bet that this is my fault?”

“This isn’t really something I’d call exciting, Ms. Goto.”

“See there’s that too. I’m the optimist here. You need to have me around.” For something so stressful, the air was surprisingly light. Kasumi found the smiles easy to form, and there was a softness in the edges of Kiera’s gaze, something a little gentler, a little easier to digest than her usual stoic demeanor.  She was cornered on the board, but at that point, it hadn’t matter. “Sometimes I forget how attracted I am to you.”

“I do what I can to remind you.” Kasumi’s queen was exposed. Kiera had seen it too. “Among many others, of course. You seem to willfully choose to forget some important topics at times.”

“You love me that way.”

Kiera smiled, and then toppled the queen over.

It was as if something clicked, sudden and forceful.  A light smile, warm and welcoming—the idea of someone being so perfect but so flawed at the same time. Sacrificial, beautiful. So… far from her. Someone better off in the distance, to watch, to care for benignly. The smile was so genuine, so much more than she had ever seen since leaving Earth. It was honesty and Kasumi had fallen for it.

“You always have a way of showing up when I need it, you know.” There’s a warm cup of tea between them, and she can count the freckles subtly framing her cheeks, know that there’s more along her shoulders, and how there’s an edge of selfishness creeping inside the consort—how she loves and nurtures it. Someone needed to take care of her. She needed to take care of her.

Entwined fingers. Honesty, always honesty there. Eased into something more, something sweeter, something she found herself craving without even thinking about it. And the looks, the invitations, always with an open hand. It was so easy to desire her when the pain grew less burdened.

“In the end, we have little control on who we end up loving.”  The kiss that followed was so soft, so sweet with an open invitation that neither demanded or remained distant. Kasumi had cradled her face then and resolved to never take it all for granted. To never take Sha’ira for granted.

“Ms. Goto? … Ms. Goto!”

The glass chessboard welcomed her first. She had lost her queen, but the game was still close—Kiera had done it with a lot of sacrifice. Shepard and Tunri were in prime positions for a check. Her stomach churned though and the aching in her heart was nigh unbearable. How could she have forgotten her? She stared at her shaking hands, curling and uncurling them for a moment. Deep breath. Then she recognized the touch on her shoulder.

“Do you need a moment?” Kiera asked gently and instead of comfort, she felt bile in her throat. She would get out of here, even if that meant leaving Kiera behind.

“No…” She tried to swallow it down before she looked for the turian. Sure enough, he was still there, though closer to spectate the game. He barely acknowledged her stare. “Is… Is Sha’ira safe?”

He exaggerated a hum. “Whose to say? Loss is just part of the business, isn’t it?”

It was obvious that he was toying her, but the thought hadn’t turned to that, not immediately. There was just that sudden emptiness that she had grown so used to, like a cold companion—or a distant brother that turned up some odd years later. The numbing, cold pain, and the awkwardness that would be forced into her just from the simple act of breathing, but this time, she had a distraction in the wonderful arms of white, hot anger.

“You piece of shit!” She bolted out of her seat, fists ready, then Kiera yanked down on the collar of her hood, slamming her back in her chair.

“Don’t waste time on something so pointless,” Kiera chastised. “We will finish this and deal with him after.”

“That’s easy for you to say! What stakes do you have in this?” And she knew it was out of stubbornness than anything else. As much as she hated to admit it, there were times where she needed Kiera for this reason. The control and calm she provided had a lasting effect.

“Our lives, Ms. Goto. That’s risk enough,” and with that, she slipped back into her seat, frown clear on her features. All at once, she became aware of how the humor died between them. “Now, I believe it’s your turn.”

She studied the chessboard. Nothing had changed since she last looked at it, but the heavy air spun it into a game with more consideration. Was Kiera right about that? All of it was so strange, and if the implication had been true…. Maybe they would bite it if one of them lost. Could she stand to lose Kiera like this?

“I used to worship you when we worked together,” she mumbled, finally letting a smile break through. The decision would always be an easy one, and maybe, it was more fitting than any separation that would’ve waited for them further down the road. “… But it’s so much better to think of you as a rival.”

“I’d almost think that was a challenge from you.”

Kasumi smiled. “It is. You didn’t really think I’d let you win, Kiera, did you?”

“I hardly expected any ‘letting’, Ms. Goto. I simply don’t lose.”

“Checkmate.” It was said so plainly, so quietly, but Kiera’s face twisted. The silence swallowed up any of her words. For a few minutes they sat there staring at each other, and Kasumi saw… something within the emotions that passed. She didn’t push it, didn’t dare to, and was content in it until Kiera’s nails began digging marks into the table. “Uh.”

“Let’s start again,” but she didn’t move. Though there weren’t many signs outwardly, the shift in mood had been obvious.

Kasumi stood instead and put on her best smile for the turian. “Could we take a break maybe? Just five minutes or something.”

“If you must,” he bowed, though Kasumi couldn’t help noticing how artificial it looked after everything that happened. “Take whatever time you need. Simply inform me when you are ready.” He straightened his back and remained where he stood, still as a statue. Well, that was unnerving.

She retreated back to the table. Kiera’s shoulders had loosened in the interim, the tension a little less around her eyes. She squeezed a shoulder, but at most, Kasumi could muster a grimace. “You alright?”

“Have we been drugged?” Her voice was guarded and the leer toward the turian had been nothing but malicious.

“I mean, probably. We’re not exactly doing this for fun.” Kiera’s scowl only grew deeper. “Why? What happened?”

Her brow furrowed and she turned away from Kasumi initially, as if her question had personally offended a masterpiece. It was only a brief moment before she sighed though and caved. “I had forgotten something that would be impossible to.”

“What was it?”

“Nothing that should concern you, Ms. Goto. In any case, I’m fine. Better once this is over.”

“Now that’s hardly fair. I told you what mine was.”

Kiera huffed. “It was barely a surprise with the way you’ve been flirting today. The consort would have been less than pleased by your behavior.”

“You let it happen. You still knew.”

“Of course. It was easier when it was just us, Ms. Goto. I’ll take every opportunity to remind you of it.”

Just us. The phrase was familiar, of an angrier, more unsettling time, when she had been ready to strangle Kiera than embrace her. A freedom had been cut away from her before she even had the chance to fight for it, and there was a time where she genuinely thought she lost everything in it. But Kiera, Kiera had been different then. Killing was an art that came so easily for her, never without any thought, but Kiera--- it was like yanking on a leash.

She balled her hands into her jacket as if she would find some control there. “But it was—“

“If it’s important to you, we can discuss this after the game. We should start the round.” She began to reset the pieces, cutting the conversation short with precision.

It wasn’t fair, but she couldn’t find a way to call her out on it. Kasumi slumped into her seat in resignation. There wasn’t any point now, she knew, but it still stung. It was her fault. The entire struggle those past few years had been from her. It was only right that she snatched victory away, surely.

There was a stark difference from last round. Neither of them spoke, as if afraid that a single word would erupt the tension that filled the space. It was immediate how much more aggressive Kiera was acting. Each strategy was countered with force, bordering on overkill, but there was a nuance missing. There was a rage building in there, though Kasumi couldn’t say if it was directed at her or the situation. Each move was made with practiced precision, the minutes ticking longer and longer with each turn that was given.

It was a slow, agonizing death—Kasumi put up the best defenses she could manage, but after what seemed like hours, she was irrevocably cornered.

“Check,” Kiera muttered from the other end, this time leering at her, daring her. Yes. Now the game was getting interesting.

“This is how it usually ends, doesn’t it?” She simply moved a pawn to the side, the only move she had available left. It wouldn’t stop anything. When it came to Kiera, the only choice sometimes was simply taking the loss amicably.

“Your passion gets you in trouble, Ms. Goto. Even in chess.”

The laughter that escaped her was bitter and nauseated.  Kiera knocked the king over without a word spared, and this time, felt it slam into her, gut wrenching, cold.  They were in bed together, her and Sha’ira, but the tension had virtually sang in her shoulders as she was trying to hold onto whatever was tangible. But she was smiling at her.

“I’m sorry. I started this.” But no, that didn’t seem right.  She had killed before, tear down reputations, Kasumi knew that. It still wasn’t… “But I want to see you grow old. If this keeps up, she’ll take everything from you. Even myself.”

“But she’s going to do it anyway now.”

Sha’ira laughed, and it was almost scary how unconcerned she really seemed. “Not if we get her first. … It’ll be okay.”

It’ll be okay.

Then why did it feel like such a lie?

By the time she came back, her nails were digging into the skin of her arms, and Kiera had been calmly resetting the pieces without a glance to her. At first, it was nearly impossible to tell where she was, what she had been doing. It was easy to pull back the smells of oil, cleanliness of the sheet, her laughter. Part of it may have been the grey-box, but it seemed so vivid for just that one, brief moment.

“I hope you take this last round more seriously, Ms. Goto.” The taunt behind it was evident the first word was uttered.

She mustered a smile. “It wouldn’t have been fun if we didn’t make it to a third round, you know.”

“If I could raise the stakes perhaps?”

The voice surprised her—the turian had been so quiet through much of the game that it was so easy to forget that he’d been there at all. This wasn’t just another quarrel between them, no. She wanted to go home. More than anything else, she just wanted to go home. Still she looked, ignoring the cracks that had begun to show, and spotted the strange device that the turian held tightly in his talons immediately.

“I suppose we can afford to have a little more weirdness.” The device seemed… old. Not so much that it was decrepit, but the wood polish on its cylinder handle gave it a classy style with white decorative ends, fanning like shells.

Kiera nodded after a moment, and the turian pressed a button on its side. There was an audible click, and certainly the silence that followed had been heavy. As far as either of them could tell though, nothing had changed.

“Please, continue as before. Whoever wins this game will be the winner.” Then he stepped away from the table, away from the dim light that shone on the table.

“Um.”

“You’ll understand shortly.”

However, Kasumi had been there long enough to be a little worried about it, especially with how little they really understood about their purpose there. He didn’t seemed to be associated with anyone they know, yet had seen and understood personal details about themselves as if he had always been there, watching. Knew enough to target the relationships she shared with no one, not even the close friends made on the Normandy. Knew enough to target Kiera as well. But none of it made any real sense.

She was about ready to call shenanigans until Kiera pushed a lone pawn forward on the chessboard.  Kiera’s expression showed nothing into what she was thinking, and perhaps, that simply worried Kasumi more. “Are you sure about this?” she dared to ask.

“Has our situation improved since we started?” At the shake of her head, Kiera smiled grimly. “Then we keep humoring him to find a better solution. … In any case, it’s been some time since we’ve competed so directly.”

“Suddenly I’m thinking there was a good reason for it.” Still she matched the first move, and for while, they seemed to dance around each other on the chessboard, neither overtly aggressive, but also making a point to remain defensive. There was something underlying the tension between them, some sort of line that was growing more and more taut, but beyond the desire to survive, it seemed almost… indiscernible.

Then she lost her first pawn. The pain was subtle at first, but became more and more jarring as it crawled through the nerves of her wrist, up to her elbow. The wince wasn’t lost on her rival, nor their judge.

“Ms. Goto?”

“… So that’s the gimmick.” She picked up the fallen piece, giving it a once over. The bottom plate had been inscribed with a crudely drawn hand, either never noticing the previous two rounds or… newly added.

“That is correct. The shock and body part will differ. Higher ranked pieces will have a higher intensity and target more… vital areas.” Then naturally… the king would be the heart. One of them really was going to die there. Just to confirm it, Kasumi plucked her piece, the decrepit man that had meant so much, and peered on the bottom. Indeed, it was there, just as roughly drawn.

“Truly? This scares you, Ms. Goto?”

Kasumi shrugged, feeling a laugh bubbling in her throat that seemed inappropriate even to her.

“What have I told you?”

It was easy to think of the conversation, of both of them being predators, tigers masquerading as something else. That if there wasn’t temptation there, dangling in front of her, one of them would’ve been dead a long time ago. Kasumi had been angry for it at the time, infuriated, but… it confirmed it, didn’t it?

… Well, no. That over-simplified things, didn’t it?  “It kills you to know you’re not the only person I can forgive, doesn’t it?” She didn’t answer at first, perhaps thinking about it, maybe something else. Maybe a trigger like the last few had been for her. If it was, it wasn’t nearly as violent as the last one, instead remaining as a statue across from her. All that was left was the growing heaviness of the air between them.  That was it.

For a moment, Kasumi could feel her breath coming easier since they arrived. “I don’t recall you ever forgiving me for anything, Ms. Goto,” she said simply, and that leer, that should’ve been so stressful, so heated. But she knew, she’d go home and be able to smile at Sha’ira.

“You won’t this time.”

From there, the movements were quick, exchanging pawn for pawn as if the pain had never been there in the first place. Kiera had remained tight-lipped, not unexpected, but in a way, it made the game just a little more fun. It was knowledge that a seriousness, an expectation was there, and finally, Kasumi was meeting it in her eyes. She didn’t want anything left for them to worry about, nothing that would carry them to her dying breath. At the end of it all, she knew for certain she would come out alive. It was the natural order of things.

She would finally surpass her.

It didn’t occur to her at first that Shepard had been knocked out of play, just suddenly a piece being roughly knocked off the chessboard, shattering on the tile floor. Immediately, her chest convulsed, as if someone had clutched onto her rib cage and just began to rattle it like prison bars. The pain was sudden, immediate, and it took everything for Kasumi not to curl into herself as the scent of ashes began to touch her nostrils, a thick heavy fire.

Then, a sight of a young asari girl in the flames, terrified and screaming for her—for them! Her hand stretched out, trying to reach for her, trying to soothe, to calm her down with an affection, a love Kasumi had never felt for anything else before--- a sense of protection. Just protect.

“Alma,” the name came out as a gasp before it could come to her mind as she clutched her chest tightly, tugging at the jacket.  She struggled with the pain, the gasps that shook her before she shot an accusatory glance to her competitor.

“You were never meant to know her.”

“I want to!” she hissed, and suddenly, the games seemed so silly. What would she do if her mother never came home? “I have to now!”

Kiera laughed. “Please, Ms. Goto. You would never wish to be burdened in the prime of your career. She is aware of you. That is enough.”

No. No! That wasn’t right. Her daughter was hers to know. “That’s not your choice to make,” she warned, “That’s…”

“Your legacy. Yes.”

But that didn’t seem right either. Kasumi slumped in her chair. “Does she want that?”

“Rest assured, her aptitude for it is there. She is a genius.”

“That’s not my question.” Kiera huffed in response, but it was all too easy to cut her off. “You can’t—shouldn’t control what decisions she makes for the future, Kiera. Can you tell me you’d be willing to let her do what she likes?”

“You have little right to speak for a child you’ve never even met, Ms. Goto. I suggest you continue the game before you say something you’ll regret.”

“You’ve said something like that to me before, haven’t you?” Still, she moved her piece, nothing offensive, nor defensive—her last lowly knight in Kiera’s on shape off to the corner. She would kill her, like what should’ve happened the day she found out about Keiji. The pain would’ve stopped then, the confusion, listlessness, and that child would learn something of hope. She would now. For certain, she would now.

“How do you think I got into my mother’s business?” she asked. Kiera stopped mid-piece, but she wouldn’t meet her eye. That was enough proof for her. “Her love meant the galaxy to me growing up. I idolized her, worshipped her, thinking that I was simply an extension of her hand.”

“Ms. Goto—“

“When you think that’s all you’re good for, how do you move on? You’ll do the same to her, won’t you? Make a dynasty out of us. Make a monster out of us.”

She saw the biotic flash coming, but almost welcomed the outburst of violence as the lonely friend it was. Flung out of her chair like a ragdoll, she smashed into the hard carpet with a hard thump before skidding several feet from the table. Almost immediately, she could feel the ache in her arms and hips, but no. No, she could only smile as she climbed to her feet, smiling at the shaking figure of her mentor, her former lover.

“You know I’m right. And I’ll kill you for all of it.” Was it out of anger? Oh, she didn’t know, but it felt so good, so perfect as she sprinted forward. Kiera was ready as the biotics flared like an inferno, the unsettling glare digging inside of her.

She snatched a chair from one of the dark corners just as she saw it being unleashed, throwing it against the warp that had been sent her way. It smashed and shattered easily, but it was just enough for a distraction. As the wood splintered and fell, she threw herself across the table, sending both her and Kiera to the floor with fists ready.  The biotics flared and struggled against her, but she held her ground as she began to throw whatever punches she could in the mess. Her hands clawed at her throat, squeezing tightly, trying to extinguish what life was left inside either of them.

But Kiera’s eyes glowed and with a strangled war cry of, “That’s enough!” She was unceremoniously thrown onto the table, the glass crushed by the biotics and her body, cutting into her back bit by bit—but that wasn’t the worst of it. The shock roared inside of her, and all at once, her nerves were on fire, and the scream, it couldn’t come out fast enough.

She saw it then—them struggling like this.

There was so much blood on her chest, her face. She could barely see, but the fight, it hadn’t been over yet. Still one last bullet left in the thermal clip.

One last well-placed shot and all she saw was fire and a light so bright as to engulf both of them, of so much pain, but so much satisfaction left in it. They were safe. She was going to be safe.

And the scream became primal, fueled by a rage that burned inside of her at the realization. She knew nothing else again, would know nothing else again, and all the shock did was accelerate her off the table even faster, knowing that her heart had stopped beating so long ago, and it was all her fault. She would feel nothing again, would never come home to warmth, to love, but she. She would know pain before it was over. And her fists came down hard against Kiera’s skull as she screamed into her ears.

“YOU DID THIS. YOU KILLED US.”

And the realization in Kiera’s eyes only made her sicker.

“I HATE YOU. YOU DID THIS TO ME.”

And the sobbing wouldn’t stop, the silence wouldn’t come again. She barely felt the turian pull them apart, barely realized Kiera’s hands had been around her neck. Sha’ira was waiting for her at home, and now, now there was nothing that could be done. The grief of it all, it was so much worse than she thought it could be.

     Do you remember him?