#mateo sol

“The sad thing that many of us empaths don’t realize is that often our desire to heal others is a disguised cry for help for our own healing. Because many of us weren’t taught how to value or nurture ourselves at a young age, we tend to unconsciously seek out our own healing in the healing of others.” 

Interestingly, “solve et coagula“ is a wonderful psychological metaphor: by pursuing Gold (or listening to our intuitive “higher calling”) we “break down” limiting parts within us that are in the way of our transformation (Philosopher’s Stone) into at free and whole being (coagulation).

“As an empath, it’s vital that you learn how to hold space for your emotions, even the most painful ones. By anchoring yourself in your breath, you can learn how to witness the emotional energy of others within you, without attaching yourself to these sensations.”

On the other hand, the Shadow Self is an archetype that forms part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, perversions, and embarrassing fears. This archetype is often described as the darker side of the psyche, representing wildness, chaos, and the unknown. Jung believed that this latent energy is present in all of us, in many instances forming a strong source of creative energy.

You enter relationships in the hopes of finding what you lack inside in the other person (i.e., you want to “feel complete”).

You often feel inadequate, and you often have the following thoughts: “I am not enough,” “I am incomplete,” “I am unlovable,” “I don’t count,” “I am imperfect,” “I am powerless,” and “I am bad.”

You constantly feel a sense of abandonment, resentment, and/or betrayal from others.

You have a perfectionistic attitude towards life (i.e., you gain your self-esteem from the outcome of your actions instead of the intention behind your actions).

You suffer from chronic anxiety. This comes as a result of anticipating the emotional pain of being found unworthy, which deep down you think is true.

You repeat the same old mistakes in relationships. This is because you are trapped in a habitual mindset and don’t feel courageous enough to make a change.

You find happiness in your misery because it’s a source of attention in the form of sympathy from other people.

You have a large, unexplored Shadow Self.

You behave in dishonest/inauthentic ways that are not true to the person you really are. You behave in this way to gain the acceptance of others.

You often feel emotionally numb inside. You feel a sense of meaninglessnessand disconnection from the world around you. This is the ultimate defense mechanism: feeling nothing.

You are your own worst critic (i.e., you constantly remind yourself how much of a “loser” or a “failure” you are).

You always feel like an outcast, and you can never quite fit in with anyone. Instead of appreciating your uniqueness and seeing it as an opportunity, you see it as a curse.

Unconditional love means embracing all of the nice, nasty, and ugly things about yourself and others. Remember that no one is perfect nor can anyone ever be perfect. Life is a constant journey of growth. Don’t love others based on what they look like, have or do, love a person exactly as they are in the moment, simply because they are worthy of being loved. The same advice applies to you: embrace all the pain, woundedness, and imperfection within you. Love it without conditions.