For the month of March (2018), I’ve been getting back into the groove of drawing. I’m also feeling positive in general after landing the front desk job. I’m trying to keep myself motivated to save so I can move back to Japan. By doing so, I’ve been watching youtube videos about the school I’m interested in applying to, called - Nihon Kogakuin through GoGo Nihon. (I won’t go too much in detail I apply, but that’s something I’ve been doing to motivate myself to go to work, earn money, and save for my goal!) It’s working so far.  I’ve also been editing excel sheets with my finance goal to see how much roughly I need before I can apply that will pay for all the initial cost of tuition, moving, housing, food, other stuff, and extra to sustain myself in Japan. I need to because everything will be on me. My family can’t really support me financially, so I need to do it myself if I want to achieve my goal... It’s going to be hard, but I will do my best. That’s why I’m also looking for another job to get more money a bit faster. The job I have now is great!! It’s super chill! I just sit there doing whatever project I feel like. But, I only work 2 days a week. In a month I only make around maybe $800. Through fiddling with numbers on excel, it would take me a long time till I can move back to Japan, so I’m in search of another job I can work on the weekdays. Part-time or Full-time.... My worry and fear is that from previous decisions I’ve made, I would tend to do too much than I can handle. Then get burned out and quite everything, and I become a hermit for months. I want to stop that! But, I really want to make more money to apply to Nihon Kogakuin and move back to Japan... I’ve mentioned that so many times now! Hahaha  =w=)/ On another note, I’ve also been getting back into drawing. My inner wound... My childhood dream was torn to shreds when I was living in Japan back in 2014-2015. I’m healing now, and feel much better. My friend showed me a video about two woman talking about their careers. One of the woman was inspired by the other in her time of loss in her career path. She saw the woman doing her job on TV and said she wanted to do what the other woman was doing. Now, sitting across from the woman she was inspired, she told her that she did good because she didn’t settle for less. The main phrase is “SHE DIDN’T SETTLE FOR LESS”.

That hit my heart strings, I’m going to do my best to fulfill my childhood dream! At work this past weekend, I was trying to make up phrases in Japanese. What I thought up; 夢があれば，それうぉして、がまんをして、やめないで。。。

Spud first boo-boo! (˃̩̩̥ɷ˂̩̩̥)

My sister and  were cutting or puppers nails because they were getting long. When he was a baby he would be okay with it, but now he gets freaked out and it takes a team to cut his nails. 

Spud was super protective with his front paws, so we moved to trip his back paws. I told my sister that I usually cut his back paws and I leave his front paws uncut, but she cut too far and it was just........ !!!!!!!!!  BLOOOOOOD

I was playing with Spud and feeding him to calm him from the nail cutting, but when my sister said that she cut to deep and I saw the blood I started freaking out. I quickly took Spud into my arms and was frantically telling my sister to, “get neosporin!”, she was like, “where? there’s none!”, 

Saturday 3/17/18

I was seriously beating the clock to get to work. I thought leaving the house to catch the bus 30mins before work started would be fine. I was wrong. The buses I needed were coming in late. Lesson learnt Need to leave 50-60mins before my shift to get there on time. I was only 1min late, but the graveyard shift guy who was to relieve me got there almost 30mins late. My shift ends 12-midnight, so I wanted to go home already. (I really need a car, scooter, or motorcycle…)

So, going back to getting to work… I get there, and I meet the morning shift. He was kind to give me some pointers and his cell phone #, which really came in handy later because I only got a quick run down with my training. Morning shift told me that he went through the same thing with just hitting the floor running with a limited handful of training. I made little mistakes that got fixed later, so happy, but stressing at the time. I’ve got the mistake experience and need to learn from it to become better in this front desk position because it’s a really nice and simple job. (for now…) What I did my first day was make sure I go through the building to do my rounds, and check each floor to make sure everything is in order. I also closed the laundry room around 9pm, and I signed guest in-and-out. There was a resident I helped open his unit because he locked himself out, and another I turned the router on-and-off to get the wifi working.

The building is also a multi-use building and what was nice and sometimes got on my nerves where the people going to the restaurants that share the same space. The staff that worked there were wonderful and kind, but some of the customer after they’ve had a little too much to drink where not as pleasant. Most of them were very sweet, but most of the ones that got on my nerves where the drunk male customers.

I just limited my words, and ignored it – shook it off, because, hey, they were drunk. Yes, they still shouldn’t be rude to others and not use their intoxication as an excuse, but I’ve been there too. On a brighter, I believe more positive note, through this new type of job, people interactions, and overall experiences will help me grow as a “Steel Magnolia”. (Definition; A woman who exemplifies both traditional femininity as well as an uncommon fortitude.)

Stay positive and strong gorgeous souls!!

Yesterday, I hung out with two friends from middle school.

Since California legalized marijuana I thought I would try some... (I'm such a goodie two shoes sometimes, ... sometimes...) So, my friend was going to treat me out. She ended up getting off late from work and we ended up not going to the dispensary. What did end up happening was, we went out to the clubs in the Castro with the other middle school friend.

A day before I messaged the one friend because last time the three of us hung out, I ate some of her cousins weed brownies. I didn't know at the time I took a huge bite that ended with a 3 day high. When I got home I went through a bad trip and thought I was having a heart attack. Thankfully my family calmed me down. The next day I was feeling so relaxed and calm, unlike usual days I've had before than when I would have body pains, thoughts of depression, and lethargy. When the high died down I wanted to try some more. 

She did end up having more brownies the 2nd time we all hung out again, and I had some before we went out clubbing. 

A review I found my body having was that after eating the edible, my heart would start beating really fast. Which, I didn't like at all. I do like what comes after the rapid heart beating when I would feel calm and relaxed. I might/might not explore more of the green leaves, but I might... lol

So, back to talk a little bit about the clubs - In as short a summary as I can, we were wasted, but I played mama (like usual) and tried to take care of peeps. I was zoning in and out for a little bit till I felt someone trying to pick pocket me. As fast as I could I grabbed the pick pockets hand and he/she quickly recoiled. I looked at them and they tried to act stupid, trying to cover their bad actions. From there another guy was rudely pushing peoples heads away with his arm and hands. I pushed him away and he tried to lash out at me, but my friend lashed back at him and I gave him the hand and the silent treatment. He was trying to make a scene, but I ignored him, shook it off and enjoyed the night with my friends.  

I was hungry at the end off the night, and we wanted mcdonalds, the one with the car was too out off it, and we just went home. 

I next day I start my first official shift at work. 

Got the call back from the job. I basically start tomorrow for training. I’m part-time at one location, working the weekends, but I’m also put on-call at two other locations.  Nothing much today - drawing, watching movies, trying to be positively productive.  Still kinda torn with future aspirations. I’m watching “The Bucket List” right now, and going to do just that. I’m going to write a bucket list on another post. 

I’ve had many jobs in my life, but only a few I’ve really felt at home in. Meaning I stayed their for X-amount of years. The longest I’ve ever worked for a place was 6 years till I moved to Japan to try and fulfill my #1 childhood dream. Which is another story of parlous struggles of personal growth and understanding. That’s another story, laid to rest in my uneasy mind, for another time. 

They smiled at me by marzii on Flickr.