Like girl dated golden boy James Potter. They thought they were going to get married but she realised that she loved him but they were too young and he was too in love. She was his world and he wasn’t hers- not when there was still so much of the wizarding world to explore, so much magic to learn.

Next, she falls in love with Mary McDonald. Its a cliche. Her roommate and the most beautiful girl she knew. It didn’t happen all at once. There were traces of it since the first time they met in the great hall. She always found herself lingering to discover the addicting lavender scent emanating from the other girl’s tight curls. The way her cheeks grew hot when she painted the other girl’s long nails. The way her skin tingled whenever their knees touched in class. The way Lily’s heart broke every time Mary McDonald clung onto a boy. It culminates in a kiss. Sticky lips and firewhisky singing in their veins during a ball. Its cold and the snow is piling up around them. Its beautiful but its a fantasy because the next day Mary says she’s forgotten what happened and she plants a big kiss on Sirius Black. Lily recognises the utter devastation on Remus’ face because she, too, felt it. But, she wasn’t like Remus. Sirius was his soulmate. Mary never looked at her the way Sirius looked at his Moony.

The next one came after James and Regulus started sneaking around. The boy who used to wax poetic about her had finally found someone and unlike her, Regulus Black looked at James Potter like the centre of his gravity. She was happy for them. She really was. But something felt broken. Did she make a huge mistake? What if James was her one chance at love? Insert Barty Crouch Jr. The boy was a mess, nursing his broken heart and taking it out on everyone else. They bond over their academic pressures. Turns out the spoilt minster’s son has a lot in common with the working class muggleborn. Its a means to an end. Nothing more nothing less than comfort during a time where no one else understood their loneliness. Two passing ships that found warmth in a strange place. They never talked about when it started and they never acknowledged the end.

The next person came like spring after a long winter. Pandora Rosier was a sight to behold. Platinum locks against bronze skin. She always wore loose chiffon dresses instead of the hogwarts uniform. Lily fell in love with the way the sun always followed the other girl’s smile. She’d caught Pandora frolicking about near the lake once. It was a sight to behold. As headgirl, she had a duty to remind her underclassmen of uniform violations. Pandora didn’t seem all too bothered. She took those deducted house points in stride and offered a free tarot reading. Apparently, Lily Evans was destined to be a hero. It sounded promising but Lily never forgot the way that Pandora’s thin brows creased- light eyes glowing with something tragic. She never forgot the way Pandora kissed her that day. It wasn’t all consuming the way Mary’s had been. It was soft, gentle and beautiful. But, maybe that was also the way Pandora left. She didn’t know how she lost her. One moment, Pandora was by her side, a gentle breeze against the summer heat. The next, she was gone like the autumn wind, swayed towards Xenophilius Lovegood.

Graduation brought complications. Joining the Order made sense at the time but the war was fraught. People were dying. Her friends were getting injured. Marlene Mckinnon had lost her legs in a terrible ambush. Remus had been missing for a month and no one knew where he was. Dumbledore had tasked her with a mission. Something about looking for an item. She was paired with her first love for this secret mission. Perhaps, it was a moment of passion- indiscriminate from weakness and a fear of isolation. She fell back into James Potter. This time tragically and without restraint. James was nursing his own heartbreak- one that Lily didn’t know if he could recover from. It wasn’t a fairytale love- not the kind that produced miracles. And yet, it resulted in the most purest love she had ever experienced.

The war was tough and her son Harry (named after her father) was born in secret. He was a part of a larger plot. Dumbledore had made that clear. James may trust the wizened headmaster implicitly but Lily was different. She’d navigated the wizarding world with a level of distrust only someone never fully accepted in the muggle or magical world could. So, she turned to her oldest friend. A man she had long sworn to severe. He looked hollowed now. His dark hair stuck to jutting cheekbones. Severus Snape was one of Voldemort’s closest advisors but she knew of his affections for her. She could never return them but the war had made her desperate. Her son was on the line. When Pandora Lovegood’s letter arrived, urgently urging James and Sirius to go to a cave, Lily knew there was more to the story. And, she definitely knew something was amiss when the duo returned with a comatose Regulus Black and his house elf who clutched onto a strange locket. Severus held one piece of the puzzle- a prophecy.