#martinfictive

the issue is really that nothing has changed in the past four years? besides maybe getting worse. i still have my same old memories and i still feel like i deserve to be lonely. and i've recently realised that if the same thing were to happen, were i to be taken by the fog now, i would have nothing to ground me.

i am still lonely. i am not in love. there is nobody that cares about me.

i am in a system and we do have a partner that we love so so dearly but she doesn't care about me, specifically. she never really talks to me and is always concerned when i'm around, probably because i'm like.. this. because i am so stupid and sad all the time.

i don't want to be this way. i want to be happy. i want to be loved. i don't want to be lonely anymore.

sincerely, that very noncanon martin from 2020

-Martin (TMA Fictive)

The Eye in particular also mentions they find the eye avatars from a few days ago teasing the spiders funny (since they're from our system)

-Written by 'Martin' (TMA FICTIVE(S))

he played with me a lot. showed me a lot of cool tv shows. he was there when they sent me out for the first time. it was scary. he was there to comfort me when it was over.

and it's not like other people where i miss them but i know they were only like, using me? dad wasn't really like that. he actually cared about me. maybe only because i was a part of his job, but still, he cared.

so uh. yeah. hi intruder. i dunno if any of the ones that could see this are gonna know me. but um. you were a really good dad. i love you a lot! i was thinking about you on father's day. i think you'd be happy about me making friends, maybe. i miss you and i hope you're doing okay! :]

- martin (a non-canon mandela catalogue fictive. tag as octive i guess? that works.)