#marshmill

Sore, heel-clad feet padded along the hardwood floor, creaking beneath her as she walked. Her swollen fingers ran along rows and rows of soft onesies and dresses, feeling everything to make sure that it would be good enough for her baby girl. There were adorable outfits everywhere, in every color, and every pattern imaginable. Abi could remember being a little girl and planning exactly how she was going to dress her daughter, but now that the time had come, it was so much different than she had ever expected. 

She looked back at Aiden, who was carrying things that she had placed in his arms already, and smiled. "What do you think? What colors do you think will look pretty on her?" She inquired, now rummaging through shelves filled with pink, yellow, blue and green. "What do you think she'll look pretty in?" The question was silly. She knew that their daughter would look pretty in absolutely anything they put her in. 

Never in a million years had she thought that she would ever be back here. The last time she had been here, her world had been turned upside down, and now she was returning as though nothing had even changed. The building itself was, although nicer, it was incredibly similar. As she walked through the hallway to her room, she sighed and counted the doors as she passed each one. It was hard to think about all of the people who had been here before, during her previous stay, and what had happened to them. There she was, starting over in this brand new building, while so many of the people she knew before didn't have that chance. 

Abigale's silent reverie was interrupted when she felt a kick in her stomach, right as she reached the door to the room she was moving into. All her life, she had thought pregnancy would be a miracle. While she was very excited about it, most days it seemed like the only miracle taking place was how often she would pee her pants every time the baby kicked a certain spot. As she pushed the door open and stepped into her new room, she was shocked at just how different it was from her last room at Home for the Helpless. She giggled and ran to hop onto the bed, scanning the room to figure out just how she and Aiden would decorate it. 

"Aiden! Are you coming?" She called, twisting her hair around her finger. She really had tried to wait for him to catch up to her, but she had just been so excited to see where they would be living that she had to race to their room. "You have to see this, it's so big and pretty!" 

I’m right there with you, honey. Think about how cute all of them will be! Also, I hear their due dates are pretty close together, so think about how they can be the best of friends growing up. 

I almost shed a tear but my eye makeup looks too good for that today. Curse you, anon, for giving me these feels!

Abigale had spent a couple of weeks trying to figure out how to tell him. Finally, she had thought of a way. She had cleaned the whole house, and lit candles all over the house. She was anxious, to say the least, and wanted to make everything perfect so that he hopefully wouldn't be as stressed out as she had been in the past two weeks. 

She knew that he had been busy and worn out with his new job, and so had she. It had not been an easy transition to go from being patients for almost two years, to working. Life had gone from very simple, to very, very complicated all within a few weeks. It was obvious that it had taken a toll on Aiden, and Abigale had been afraid to burden him with this, as well. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel overwhelmed, but she knew that she had to tell him. Maybe he wouldn't be as scared as she would. Maybe he would be excited. Maybe. 

It was written in shaky handwriting on the first page of a Virginia Woolf book, the only place where there was enough empty space to fit what she needed to say.

"Aiden, I'm sorry I didn't even say goodbye. It was easier this way. You will move on and you will be okay. I love you more than I could ever put into words.

I'm sorry.

Love always,

It was their second night on this ship of dreams. Charlie had been tucked away to bed by the governess that the couple had decided to bring with them, freeing Mr. and Mr. Miller up to go to their dinner plans for the evening. As Abigale walked down the grand staircase, she spotted Aiden at the bottom. He was obviously growing more impatient by the second, and she felt a smile paint itself perfectly into place on her delicate features as she reached him. Smoothing out her evening gown as she walked up behind him, she carefully grasped his hand and squeezed it gently. "Are you ready to go? Mr. Charlie sound asleep, so we have all night to dance and eat and whatever you feel like." She smiled and placed a delicate kiss on his cheek, leaving behind a small rosy lip print that made her smile even wider.

As they walked towards the dining room, Abigale looked around at the decor of the ship and realized just how lucky she was to have been there. A few years ago  her life had been nothing but old apartments and withered flowers, and now she was married to a wonderful man who had decided to take the family to America to make something last in a world they had never known.

It was hard to take Charlie out of school, and Abigale had been worried about traveling while pregnant with Madelyn. Aiden had soothed her worries and reassured her that it would be better to raise children in such a beautiful place as America. They would love it. Especially Charlie, he loved the bright lights and big cities that America promised them.

As they reached the formal dining room, Abigale stood on her toes and snuck in a kiss as she made sure nobody had seen. "Thank you for bringing us here, darling. I mean it." The words escaped her mouth as a whisper, and she saw a small smile form on the edges of her lips and felt a wave of excitement wash over her. 

She was lucky enough to get to experience this amazing place with her children and her husband, and she could think of nothing better in the world than to have a short vacation on a ship that so many had wanted to be on. She squeezed Aiden's hand just a little bit tighter, as there seemed to be a bump on the boat. A few things like vases filled with flowers, or glasses of champagne falling off the waters' trays.