I wanna be down with you Marshmallow Crispy Oreos but it's so hard when you play hard to get. 

Two states and one new york city later, I found you in a Reston,VA Target on a lonely end cap and so began our beginning. 

I went into this expecting you to taste like, idk...a marshmallow treat ...but who am i kidding. At the end of the day, you are part of the Oreo clan and thus taste illegally sweet. I think that is the actual flavor of all Oreos: "Illegally sweet". Oreo package's change color, new 'flavor' words entice the literate, and marketing squads dazzle the easily marketed to capitalist consumer (me)---but you will never be anything but disgustingly sweet.

Okay, there was that time when i first bit into you that I found your little crunch pellets that are supposed to validate your "crispy" title. But they were so small and so few and far between that i thought the crunch was a mistake. A mistake. A mistake! You were a mistake, and I'm not afraid to admit that now. 

Maybe the mistake was creating this review. Thinking I could actually review another oreo variation and find something new to say. TOO SWEET. I REPEAT. TOO SWEET. Im not built for you america. 

-Glooty D