#marshbrak

Okay I mean I guess I can do this again since you guys just like hearing me yell about stuff for some reason even though I totally get carried away and I have literally no filter but BUCKLE UP MOTHERFUCKERS BECAUSE IM HERE, IM QUEER IN A PRETTY GOOD MOOD AND IM GONNA TALK ABOUT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE OKAY??? YA DINGUS

- Listen, I knooooooow it's totally cliche and been said a bajillion times but you can't make a list of the best things about Bev without talking about her fucking hair, okay?!?? SO STOP FUCKING JUDGING ME. Her hair is winter fire NO, WE'RE NOT...I'm not about to plagiarize Ben, okay? I'm gonna say this in my own words...so here goes, um...your hair is...fucking beautiful, the end. I'm not a fucking poet, okay?!? Seriously, I mean for real her hair is the most amazing color it's not even red, it's not even copper, it's not even ginger, no word has been invented to describe the color of Bev's hair it's like if you crushed up one of those orange gemstones and mixed it with melted gold and that's the color that it is. And it's so fucking shiny like if you look at her hair as the sun hits it you instantly go blind

- Um, she's fucking beautiful. Like when I say that I'm not just saying it and just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm blind, I CAN see what other women look like...yeah she's an exception but that doesn't make how beautiful she is ANY LESS FUCKING VALID OKAY?? HER EYES ARE BEAUTIFUL, HER NOSE IS BEAUTIFUL, HER LIPS ARE BEAUTIFUL, HER JAWLINE IS BEAUTIFUL, HER SKIN IS BEAUTIFUL. BEVERLY MARSH IS A FUCKING GODDESS NONE OF US ARE EVEN FUCKING WORTHY OF SPEAKING TO HER YET HERE WE ARE

- You guys have no idea the shit ahe has been through...like...just no idea...the fact that she is not only a strong person, and a good person, but so caring about other people, so selfless and generous and loving...it really takes a special kind of person to come through all that and still be a decent human being, but Bev came out the other side a fucking INCREDIBLE person and I have literally never known anyone that strong

- HER. LAUGH. IS. SO. AMAZING. IT'S. LIKE. LISTENING. TO. ANGELS. SINGING. I mean...I assume...in fact the Angels probably sound a lot fucking worse

- LISTEN, I like dick men...like exclusively...but you CAN NOT LOOK AT BEV'S BODY, naked or otherwise, WITHOUT BEING INSTANTLY FUCKING ANNIHILATED. Like, did you guys know women were so soft??? IS THIS A THING? I fucking mean it all of her skin is like fucking silk, man, and when you press down it's not just like solid muscle or anything it's like...marshmallow? You know what, that's a crappy fucking description but you guys know what I'm talking about, right? Like...men are hard (in a non gross way mostly) even if they have a little bit of fat or they're not toned like there's just something more solid...we have different muscle composition...anyway the point is women's bodies are just so much softer and I don't blame God for making women inherently better in basically every way, but, c'mon man leave us with SOMETHING??? Actually ya know what I don't care just as long as I can still keep Beverly Marsh in my life thanks

- i mean...boobs, man...

- She literally ALWAYS fucking looks amazing, like...she always has her fingernails and toenails painted, hair done, nice clothes...I swear even when she's like in her pajamas or in sweats or whatever she's got matching nails, her hair looks nice, she has like an ankle bracelet or something...HOW DO YOU LOOK SO GOOD ALL THE TIME??? HOW?? EFFORT?? YOURE TELLING ME THAT FOR CENTURIES THE PATRIARCHY HAS BRAINWASHED WOMEN INTO CONSTANTLY MAINTAINING A CERTAIN STANDARD IN THEIR APPEARANCE THAT MAKES THEM FEEL INADEQUATE IF THEY ARENT PUTTING 1000 PERCENT EFFORT IN AT ALL TIMES??? YEAH THAT IS WHAT IM TELLIN YA AND ITS FUCKING GROSS BUT DAMN IF BEVERLY MARSH DOESNT LOOK AMAZING ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

FUCK

Yeah sure...Bev gets hit on all the time. I mean it's obvious why, she's fucking stunning, and every time we go out she dresses up and does stuff with her hair that makes it look even better than normal, and like...I think I'd be mad if no one DID hit on her because...what the fuck is wrong with you if you don't want to?

Doesn't stop me getting mad when people DO hit on her, anyway. Especially when it's guys, which it almost always is. I'm tellin ya, straight guys are so fucking entitled they just think women should automatically be attracted to them just out of principle. Are you fucking kidding me, bro? You think a woman who looks like Bev is interested in your fucking meat head and your skinny ass bare ankles? What you've never heard of leg day, bro? You think because you're over 6 feet women are just gonna throw themselves at your mediocre biceps and those wispy little pubes on your face? Get the fuck outta here, man.

I'll kick the shit out of every single one of you. Men, women, children, what the fuck ever, if you touch her I will rip your arms clean out of their sockets and mail your disgusting, dirty little fingers to your mom!

DONT FUCKING TOUCH PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT. ESPECIALLY NOT MY WIFE, YA HEAR ME, YOU FUCKERS???

I would literally kill every single person on this fucking planet for my wife

Basically. I've never been attracted to another woman in my life and I never will be

While Eddie was in the hospital he got really upset out of nowhere one day after he'd just been to the bathroom. I guess he saw himself in the mirror, and just to clarify right off the bat - Eddie has never looked bad in his entire life. He was beautiful as a teen and he is still beautiful now. Honestly it's kinda crazy to think he's almost forty and I swear to God he hates it when I say this but he gives off such Disney vibes (I won't say Disney 'Princess' vibes because he will definitely get mad...except I just did say it anyway. Sorry Bunny.) I think it's the big doe eyes and the freckles...in a super strong...masculine way, obviously hahaha.

But basically while he was in hospital, especially the first couple of weeks, he did look so, so sick and fragile. It was really scary for all of us. He was so pale and he lost a lot of weight. It's terrifying to see someone you love so much in that kind of situation. And I guess coupled with the constant pain and exhaustion, when he saw himself in the mirror for the first time it was a bit of a shock.

Eddie's not normally really self-conscious. He gets weird about his height sometimes but even then, he makes jokes about that himself now. But he is quite picky about his clothes and his hair, so he obviously cares about his appearance. So when he came back from the bathroom, and I mean he could barely even walk at this point, he got super upset and just started saying how gross he thought he looked and how he was embarrassed that we were all there to see him that way...and he cried.

All of us were just heartbroken of course, and nothing we said seemed to make him feel any better, but as usual it was Bev to the rescue. She spoke to some of the nurses and they let her bring some products from home and wash his hair for him and style it and everything.

I swear it was like a mini salon in there, she had all these homemade beauty products she makes from like raw honey and sugar and beeswax. The nurses all kept coming in to try things out and a few of them asked Bev to make some for them, and said they'd pay her (she gave it to them for free, of course, because she's an angel). At the very least the whole thing seemed to distract Eddie from the pain for a while, and boost his spirits a little.

She was so positive and supportive and happy the whole time, holding his hands, kissing his face, changing the subject to something happy every time he started to get upset. She made all of us feel better, maintaining a smile, making us feel like everything was going to be okay even though she must have been just as terrified and exhausted as the rest of us.

She is honestly a Goddess. I don't think we would survive without her.

UM...yeah you're fucking right it's hard to pick 10 so let's just fucking go off and see what happens I dunno if it'll be 10 things or not

- Uh...she looks like a fucking supermodel. And not just the skinny but kinda weird looking type. The fucking AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL kind where you're like what the fuck is this a person or an alien being from another planet where they all look perfect just PRETENDING to be a person??? Like everything about her is beautiful...she comes downstairs wearing someone's old t-shirt with her hair in a messy lump on the top of her head and she still looks better than every human being I have ever seen with my literal two eyes like fuck...men, but also FUCK MEN, ya know? I've never been attracted to another woman but if they all looked exactly like Bev maybe I would be, who knows?

- Her voice is WAAAAAAY more attractive than a man's voice. I mean I guess that's like most women but everything just sounds nicer coming from a woman, and especially Bev. Her voice is all soft and slow and it has a really nice cadence that guys just can't match. Her laugh is beautiful, her singing is beautiful, her normal talking is beautiful, her whispering is beautiful, even her crying is beautiful...and FUCK she sounds good when...she's...ya know...YOU KNOW???

- Stan summed this up in a way more eloquent post than I could ever write but literally EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS SOFT...and, um, YEAH, I mean her skin and her lips and her body...and the way she talks and the way she acts...like if she ran her fingers through your hair the way she does all the time to all of us you would instantly fall in love WITHOUT QUESTION

- The way she talks!!! And YEAH THIS IS DIFFERENT TO THE PART ABOUT HER VOICE. Obviously they're connected because the things she says + the way she talks + the sound of her voice is like a fucking AMAZING combination. Like I HATE cutesy nicknames usually but when Bev calls me Baby or Sweetie or Honey it's TOTALLY different. Not only is it acceptable IT IS ENCOURAGED. Like she does this thing if I'm mad or upset where she says Aww, baby in a certain way and usually strokes my hair or something and...bro, it's an instant knockout...and don't get me started on how fucking good she is at talking dirty...which as you guys know I'm a fucking fan of

- She has a woman's touch...instinct...intuition...whatever. seriously I don't believe in gender stereotypes like...AT ALL, but this is something I have to admit is 100% a real thing!! She just KNOWS things. And she has this aura of calm and reassurance and quiet authority I guess that only women ever seem to be able to achieve...and you know what??? I don't fucking hate it. It's NICE having a woman around. Having that presence around that none of the rest of us have. It makes the house feel more like a HOME.

- Um, she's fucking talented at LITERALLY EVERYTHING. You name it, Bev can fucking do it. You know that phrase: jack of all trades, master of none. Well, Bev is a fucking MASTER of EVERYTHING. Singing? BEAUTIFUL. Dancing? AMAZING. Sewing? INCREDIBLE. Cooking? DELICIOUS.

I don't know why the rest of us even FUCKING TRY

Bro I just did like a super long list...it wasn't EVERYTHING, but it was A LOT