#markhyuck ff

markhyuck shippers: aww look at the real life version of enemies to lovers 🥰

mark and haechan when they are in a dorm room alone:

"what the fuck you're doing here, mark?"

donghyuck couldn't believe what he just saw. mark who always avoids bar in his entire life suddenly showed up in front of him. he stands next to the counter, looking stunning with his loose shirt and black jacket. donghyuck still fixes his gaze on mark, staring him in disbelief. just like magic that slowly fills the air, mark starts to speak.

"saving your ass from making mess." donghyuck still stays on his chair, starting to ruffle his gorgeous red hair in frustration.

 "gosh, do you know how much trouble you get into. and what's with the fedora hat? it's ridiculous" donghyuck says that but he doesn't even mean it. mark looks stunning, even more fascinating than ever. the fedora makes him look so soft yet intimidating.

 "no, i don't. and you know what, i don't care. also it's none of your business, i can wear whatever i wanna wear just like how you wear that shabby leather jacket right now." mark snaps once again, even if he wants to give compliments, he's just full of rage.

 "gosh, this leather jacket is the best okay. i fucking bought it from an expensive shop."

donghyuck finally stands, defending his favorite jacket he's been wearing for almost 2 years. he tries to joke about it actually, never once he means to make the atmosphere turning worse.

 "just drop it okay, let's get out from here. we need to go before johnny finds you." mark's voice gets softer as he speaks. donghyuck knows mark is so sincere right now, he knows that mark just wants to help him after what happened yesterday. but that was just a misunderstanding. johnny never forced a kiss to donghyuck, even if mark is under denial after everything, the kiss was meaningful and donghyuck loves every second of it as much as he loves how mark always holds his nape when they kiss.

 "mark i'm with johnny okay, and even if he looks like some gangster from cheap ass movie, he's kind okay. i'll stay, and you better go to home and do your homework. your mum will hate it if she finds out that you're not in your room." donghyuck tries so hard to convince mark who's ready to snap again at any moment. but nothing is working. mark starts to scream, even the loud music can't hide his rage.

 "i hate you so much asshole, i'm trying to fix this okay. how could you still think johnny is kind after what he did to you yesterday." the mix between rage and sadness can be seen from mark's eyes as it turns darker. for once donghyuck really wants to punch himself in the face for making the most beautiful human being in front of him feel like this. but what he can do, he's an asshole, just like what mark said. he can't handle boys with beautiful smile like johnny. even if he loves mark to death, he's still going to mess around with other boys. saying that everything means nothing, that mark is his only one after all, but more than anyone else donghyuck knows he's been lying all the time. his love is complicated to the point he can't even arrange an explanation.

 "you don't know the truth. it's not what do you think what it is" donghyuck pauses for a few second, he could never explain his thing with johnny to mark. he doesn't dare to break the elder’s heart. mark is too precious, and donghyuck would hate himself so much if he ever shatter the latter's feeling.

 "then what's the truth donghyuck? that kiss means something to you?" it's really like a petal that's waiting to fall. maybe it will be the end of every fascinating moment he had with mark. donghyuck stutters to give an answer, trying to find the right words so everything won't fall apart.

 "no, mark. I.. I.. It didn't mean anything okay, I just.." but mark shuts donghyuck before he could finish his sentence.

Mark tried so hard to keep running through the alley with only a dim light shined the path, tried so hard not to trip, while someone behind keep chasing him. Mark knew already that stealing bucks will put him under this circumstance, but his ego kept him from being sane. He needed the money to buy drinks, people will call him ridiculous if they found out, but being sober for so long is not an option when he has to deal with shits happening inside his house. That place cannot be called as a home anymore to be honest, not when his father always yells and kicks everything when he's pissed, including Mark.

Mark almost arrived in the alley where he always hides after doing stuff like this, when someone grabbed his hands. Mark almost had a heart attack --being caught is not an option right now, before he knew the person who grabbed him was Donghyuck.

"What the hell, dude! I almost had a heart attack because of you." Mark yelled, but in a low tone since he was too scared that person will catch him if he hears his voice.

"I'm trying to save you, dumbass. Now shut up or he'll find out." Mark just stayed still; he tried so hard not to think an image of him being in a jail by staring at Donghyuck. Donghyuck still looked so enchanting under the yellow neon. His sun kissed skin glows, like a gold. His red hair turns darker, making Donghyuck looks even more captivating. To be honest Mark always loves being stuck with Donghyuck but not in this kind of situation when he's about to risk Donghyuck life too because of what he did.

"Let's go, I think that man is already back into his house." Donghyuck grabbed Mark's hand, but Mark hasn’t moved a bit.

"How could you possibly know?"

"Well, I don't Mark. But we need to go okay, I'm fucking freezing right now." Donghyuck still tried to drag Mark out from their hideout, but Mark is too headstrong, he kept leaning his back to the wall. But he couldn’t ignore the fact that Donghyuck was shivering under his sweater.

"Here, use my jacket. And why in the world you're out under this cold weather only wearing a sweater?" Donghyuck always makes Mark so whipped, in every moment, even in the moment when he could possibly gonna freeze to death too after handling his jacket to Donghyuck, but he did it anyway.

"I was rushing because I saw you. You know that I'm always scared you'll do something stupid whenever you sneak out from your house in the middle of the night. And thanks for the jacket." Mark could see through Donghyuck's eyes that he meant what he just said, he really worried about Mark.

"Yeah also thanks for the rescue." Mark finally stop being so headstrong, and followed Donghyuck. They walked through the alley under the cloudy night, Mark can’t see the star because of the cloud, but what is the point of seeing the star in the sky when Mark has one beside him.

"Where are you gonna go tonight?" Donghyuck tilted his head to face Mark.  They still walked slowly through the alley.

"I don't know, the empty building rooftop maybe." Mark just shrugged and kept adjusting his steps with Donghyuck’s.

"You're gonna freeze there idiot. Just stay at my place." Mark just nodded, he really didn’t really any option, but Donghyuck just gave him the best one. And Mark has to admit that Donghyuck just rescued him, not only today but always, yet he keeps dragging Donghyuck into troubles.

---

Donghyuck's room always feels so warm, maybe because of the heater or simply because Donghyuck is there. Mark can't tell. But Donghyuck's room feels more like home than his own house. He doesn't have to hear his father's yell and his mother's scream here. And that makes Mark feel secure. He can curl inside Donghyuck’s blanket all day and pretend that his life is great. He also has Donghyuck here, who will cheer him up when he starts feeling gloomy. Sometimes Donghyuck’s room can be very quiet but the silence that lingers in Donghyuck's room is peace to Mark.

Mark lies beside Donghyuck, counting sheep. He tries to close his eyes but after what just happened, it's just hard. His body is tired but his mind keeps imagining stuff, good and bad, too many what if that will never happen. He finally gets up; distracting his mind by counting the money he just stole. That money is enough to buy liquor for 3 days until Mark finally has to steal again.

"Mark, you okay?" Donghyuck's voice sounds raspy; he probably already slept few minutes ago.

"Yeah I'm okay, I just can’t sleep but I'm fine Donghyuck." Mark tries to sound convincing, but after all that’s just another lie he forces to say. He's far from okay, the circle under his eyes get darker day by day, his knuckle still full of bruises. He’s barely sober these days. He stops caring about school and tonight he just stole money from stranger. If okay is defined as a state where he can feel happiness, then he's definitely not okay because he doesn't even know if the word happiness still exists in his life; except maybe when he's kissing with Donghyuck. The sparks always emerges when Donghyuck is around him, giving Mark a chance to grasp happiness even if only for a second, because somehow if Mark's life was a canvas then the picture would be colored in blue.

---

The night went fast once Mark closed his eyes. He managed to get up on time after Donghyuck shook his body for a constant 5 minutes. But sleep deprivation really becomes a problem. Mark can barely open his eye during Mr. Seo’s class. But he tries so hard not to fall asleep or he'll end up in detention. Donghyuck, who sits beside Mark keep pinching his hand, helping him to stay awake for another 2 hours of boring lesson. For Mark today is just another day of trying to be okay at school. But at least today he can buy liquor from the store across his favorite empty building.

"I'll just skip class after this Donghyuck, just tell the teacher I'm sick. I will be at the rooftop." Mark can’t take this anymore. History will really makes him fall asleep and he thinks it’s better to sleeping rather than listening to story about some guy he doesn't even give a damn about.

"Fine, Mark. Don't do anything stupid okay, I'll meet you at the rooftop after class." Mark forces a smile to convince Donghyuck. After Donghyuck disappear to the class, Mark quickly goes into the rooftop. Their school rooftop is just ordinary, an open building with a bench in the corner and a small door. But Mark loves this place too, another place where he can escape, where he doesn't have to deal with how shitty life is. Mark lights his Marlboro, smoking makes his lungs suffer but that means nothing compared to his heart that suffers more. Mark just sits on the floor, blowing the smoke from his mouth until his face covered with vapor. The “I want to sleep” is just a bullshit he made so Donghyuck won't stop him. He just wants to be left alone. He can't stand facing Donghyuck when he's so miserable like this. Mark feels like he doesn't deserve Donghyuck. Donghyuck is just too good for an asshole like him. He can’t bear the thought of Donghyuck could probably get hurt because of him.

Mark doesn't know why he's now at the edge of the rooftop. For a second he thought he wanted to jump and just disappear but the truth is he just wants to see the town where he lives from here, so he can pretend that this town is beautiful and every person who lives here is happy, including him. But after all the reality is too harsh, everyone is suffering, even if today they smile, tomorrow they will cry too, because that’s how life works. Happiness is just temporary.

"Mark, what the hell you're doing there?" Donghyuck's voice drags him back to reality. Mark tilts his head to face Donghyuck who runs toward him. Mark quickly gets off from where he sits before answering Donghyuck’s question.

"Smoking, what else Donghyuck?" Mark just shrugs, then walks into Donghyuck, who still stares at him with worries

"I seriously thought you’re gonna  do something stupid, stop doing this Mark seriously." Donghyuck quickly pulls Mark into his arms; Mark can only hug him back.  

"I'm okay, Donghyuck. It's dumb to think that I'm gonna jump, my life is fine. I wouldn’t do that" Lie after lie. Mark is just faking everything, for a second he really thought about being gone and that scares him so much.

"How could you say that you're fine when you barely even focus on your study? You never pay attention, and what happened last night was messed up Mark, you know that. I'm just saying if you have a problem just tell me. We'll figure this out like we always do okay. Is it about your father again?" Donghyuck’s voice laced with concern. Mark somehow feels bad again because he makes Donghyuck worried.

"Yeah, but it's just more than that." Donghyuck pulls Mark closer to arms again. Mark knows Donghyuck can't simply just fix him. Donghyuck also can't glue the shattered pieces in him, but at least he could give Mark warmth he always needs. They end up sitting next to each other again, watching the sky turns from blue to orange, Mark’s head on Donghyuck’s shoulder. Mark is still a mess, but at least at this moment his fine, because of Donghyuck. Again.

---

The sky isn't really cloudy today. Mark can see some stars shining. He sits on the rooftop of an empty building, holding his liquor. The breeze makes Mark shiver under his hoodie. He's alone right now, but clearly hopes Donghyuck is here with him. He can't handle bitter alone today. His father just snaps again, leaving Mark with new bruises on his pretty face. The bruises maybe hurt but at least it will heal soon, somehow, but how about his heart that keeps aching no matter how long time passes. Mark starts filling his cup, maybe it's better to just feeling numb at the moment, so he keeps drinking until the bottle is empty. Mark can feel he's already drunk when his stomach starts to feel strange. He wants to throw up, but his body is too weak to even move. If Mark thinks drinking will make him feels better, that is wrong, the feeling after he's drunk is not as fun as what he always imagines.

"Shit" Mark mutters a curse while he tries to text Donghyuck. He isn’t sure about how he's feeling right now, but he's clearly so messed up. The moment Donghyuck arrived at the building; the floor is already filled with Mark's vomit.

"Shit Mark, what have you done? Dude seriously, did you just drink 2 bottles of this alone by yourself. Fuck, Mark you're freezing." Mark is just so close to pass out, but he can hear Donghyuck's voice is full of worries. He's so used of that voice. The only person who will scream in panic whenever he tries to hurt himself is Donghyuck, and Mark is fall much deeper in love with him.

---

The worst thing about being drunk is the hangover. Mark's head feels about to explode, the headache is just the worst. He can't even get up from bed even for only a second, so he's just give up and fall asleep again.

The moment he wakes up next, he sees Donghyuck sleeping beside him, curls under the blanket. Mark brushes Donghyuck's hair that falls into his face. Seeing the younger boy from close like this always makes his heart melts. The younger boy is just too perfect for him, and Mark is too scared to break perfection.

Donghyuck finally woke up 30 minutes later, his voice is so hoarse as he speaks to Mark asking if he's fine now. Mark just mutters an okay as the answer. They're just cuddling on the bed, linking their hands together, waiting the sun to fully shine the day.

"Mark can ask you something?" Donghyuck tilts his head to face Mark. Their face is so close; Mark can feel Donghyuck's breath tickles his nose.

"Sure. You always ask so many question, why bother asking if I'm okay with it or not." Mark gives the look he always gives to Donghyuck when Donghyuck makes him soft, a tender warm look.

"Well, actually it’s not a question but more like a request."

"Anything you want, Lee Donghyuck." Mark smiles to convince Donghyuck. He always thinks why is it so easy to smile when Donghyuck is around him and still can’t find the answer. Donghyuck hesitates before finally continuing.

"I want you to stop torturing yourself. I know you've been through a lot and I know you're just trying to cope with that by doing so many awful things. But you know Mark those things will destroy you. It will leave you only with more pain, more regret." Donghyuck stops to see Mark's reaction but he's just stay still, looking at Donghyuck with a miserable look. Donghyuck sighs before continuing. "It's right if you wanna say I don't feel what you feel right now. But Mark I care about you, and I'm trying so hard to somehow try to understand.  So please stop doing all of those things." The way Donghyuck looks at him really kills. Mark can tell Donghyuck looks at him as a fragile figure that can break if he touches him too rough.

"As much as you want me to stop, I do want to stop too. I hate the hangover to be honest, I hate it when you have to see me in such an awful state like when I panicked because the stealing accident or when I passed out after drinking too much. I hate it, but what can I do when my heart already takes over my sanity and left me with endless heartache." The warm tears stain Mark cheeks that usually are red because of Donghyuck's compliment. But that color is long gone, leaving him with only bones and skin that.

"Then use me, use me as your escape. We can kiss, and pretend that we're living fine. We can hold hands, and run away for a moment. You can stay here as long as you want, Mark but please stop. I know this is maybe far from enough but if escape is the thing you search, I can give it to you." Donghyuck rushes his kiss towards Mark. Their lips pressed together, blossoms like roses on a spring day. Their kiss starts wild and only turns wilder as every second passes. Mark hands run through Donghyuck's cherry hair, while Donghyuck places his hands around Mark's nape, making their kiss deeper, and more intimate. Mark was the one who pulled out first, gasping because the lack of oxygen after their lips parted, still drowning in the high sensation after the kisses. Mark doesn't say this to Donghyuck but Donghyuck is just more than enough, a perfect escape for a devastated person like Mark. Once again his heart just takes over his sanity; letting Donghyuck comes closer to him again, ignoring the fact that he might make Donghyuck's life miserable. But Mark already swore a vow to himself to stop doing something that will make Donghyuck worrying about him. He loves Donghyuck so much, as much as (maybe) Donghyuck does to him, and once for a while happiness seems closer than he thought it was.

---

Sun shines so brightly today, as Mark's opens his eyes. He's now used to live at Donghyuck's. He never comes home after the rooftop accident. He's too scared of what he might do if he ever comes home. Donghyuck still lies beside him with a sleepy face.

"Morning, sunshine." He smiles so bright even after waking up.

"Morning dumbass." Mark replies, jokingly.

"I can't believe you call me dumbass after I call you sunshine." Donghyuck pretends to be offended; he tilts his head to the other way.

"Come on, it's not the first time I call you that Donghyuck. Fine I'll buy you ice cream." Donghyuck finally turns his head to face Mark again. His eyes filled with spark, he looks like a kid right now with his chubby cheeks blossom with red color. "Okay, deal. Now let's go." Donghyuck drags Mark to change his clothes and brush their teeth. "Gosh, you're so childish."

They're arrived at the closest convenient store 10 minutes later; holding popsicles. Donghyuck playfully pokes Mark's cheek with his popsicle, causing them playing cat and mouse. Mark tries to catch Donghyuck, while Donghyuck keeps running farther until they're finally run out of breath.

"I'm tired really." Mark just smiles; he's just as tired as Donghyuck but surprisingly he's happy.

"That's because you're messing with me. You should've done that." Donghyuck just laughs in answer. Mark can see Donghyuck is grinning right now.

"You're still losing any way."

"Whatever." They're both laughing. Indeed today is a good day, the sun shines so bright while the boys just simply happy because each other. Just being silly together, two boys against the world, at least that’s what Mark thinks.

The rain drops slowly, greeting the world with its cold. Donghyuck is shivering, while Mark just stays still, enjoying the drop that making his clothes wet now.

"Are we gonna stay here until we freeze?" Donghyuck says that while trying to cover the rain with his jacket.

"I think it's fine." Mark just shrugs. "Come on Mark we have to go." Donghyuck lends his hand to help Mark stand. Mark finally takes Donghyuck hand and gets up from where he sat previously. The rain is getting heavier, when Mark and Donghyuck finally arrived at the nearest convenient store where he bought the popsicles this morning. "

Let's run to our house." Donghyuck says. That idea is crazy, but Mark finds it very exciting.

"We're gonna get flu after this seriously."

"Come on Mark. I'll count to three, after that we run okay." Mark can feel Donghyuck linking their fingers together. He turns his head to face Mark and smiles before counting. Once again a moment like this really makes Mark feel alive, and more than anything he wants to stay with Donghyuck's warmth forever.

---

People say happiness won't last; that's just an undeniable fact. Somehow, some way sadness will find happiness, and will replace its position. It was dumb for Mark to think that forever could happen to his relationship with Donghyuck. Everything's crashed when he found out that Donghyuck never thinks their thing is a relationship. How easy Donghyuck says that Mark is merely a friend with benefit to his friend Jaemin as if everything means nothing. Mark doesn't know why knowing that Donghyuck only thinks of him as a friend hurts him more than his father's kick and yell. And maybe that’s why he shouldn't think someone is special when that person clearly doesn’t think like that of him.

It was a beautiful evening when Mark heard the conversation. At that time he didn't know what to do; facing Donghyuck will only cause more damage. But he doesn't want to give up after all that happened at least he wants to hear the reason though Mark knows the reason will tear him apart.

Now here they are, on the rooftop of Mark's favorite building. The night seems so unfriendly; the breeze greets them with its cold. Mark looks more miserable than ever and more messed up than the last time when Donghyuck still pretends to fix his broken pieces.

Donghyuck stands in front of Mark, looking so clueless but he clearly knows that Mark is angry. He just doesn’t know why.

“You okay Mark?” Donghyuck steps closer to where Mark stands right now.

“No, I’m far from okay you can tell. Well, I thought maybe I’m getting better after we’re together but guess what Donghyuck, I’m even more fucked up now.” Mark thought spilling the words will be hard, but somehow it’s easier that what he thought.

“Seriously what happened?” Donghyuck’s voice laced with worries. If it was the usual circumstance, Mark would be happy, but he’s just too bitter.

“I should be the one who asked that. What happened with us. I thought we’re really together. I thought you love me.”

“I love you Mark, what’s wrong with you? You know that right?”

“As a friend? Come on Donghyuck stop pretending, you only see as a friend with benefit, nothing more. Isn’t that right?” Mark laughs, but his laugh is filled with sorrow.

“I never thought you’ll fall for me, and I did that because you need comfort. I’m really scared you’ll do something stupid if you’re far away from me. I’m just trying to save you Mark by doing all of that.”

"So it’s true all of those kisses, hand holding, dates, and cuddles mean nothing to you? We’re just what friend with benefit. You’re seriously joking right? I thought we had something, I thought you see me as something more than merely a friend. Then what's the point of all of this you prick? What did you even bother to save me?" Mark wants to scream, but he feels like someone chokes his throat, he suffocates in a cold wind.

"I'm just trying to save you, Mark. I meant it."

"Yeah you did save me by trying to stop me from doing awful things, but what you did is more awful. You know that Lee Donghyuck. How could you possibly do this?" The wind blows so harsh, but the cold means nothing to Mark when he’s heart turns into cold stone after what Donghyuck said.

"I have to, Mark. You're just so messed up, you always hurt yourself. You know I can't risk losing you. I'm just trying to help."

"Well, you're not helping. If you don't mean any of your kisses then you should've just stopped. You should've told me that we're just friend from the beginning. Fuck, Lee Donghyuck, I thought we're..."

"You need help okay that time. I can't help but to do that, if i didn't do that, you would never stop and you might end up in jail or worse hospital."

"Do you think I’ll stop now after you broke everything now? Well guess what Lee Donghyuck, I won't." The warm tears stain Mark cheeks again. It’s been a while since the last time he cried, even after all that happened he still can hold on, but not until today.

"I'm sorry. I have to go Mark. I’m really sorry.”

Mark wishes what Donghyuck said is just a way to make this goodbye less painful. But the thing is Donghyuck already broke not only his heart, but his soul. Alcohol won't make him forget, when the person who tried to fix him in the first place is the one who finally shatters all of his pieces.

---

Donghyuck never comes back after what happened that night. Mark is sad, pissed, but after all he misses Donghyuck. He wishes all of that won’t make Donghyuck go. But still he left, tormented Mark with all of the good memories.

Mark can still feel Donghyuck's present at the rooftop, the scent of him still lingers in the open air, making it hard for Mark to breathe. That rooftop was a special place for them, at least Mark thought like that before Donghyuck left him wretched. Or maybe that was Mark's fault because he can't accept the fact that Donghyuck only wants Mark to be his friend, nothing more, while Mark yearning for more. Wishing somehow Donghyuck viewed him as a lover, someone he loves who loves him back, but that's merely a pipe dream Mark builds to neglect the harsh reality, where the one who's drunk in love is him and not Donghyuck. Mark tries so hard to accept the bitter reality, but no matter how many bottles he drinks he keeps remembering Donghyuck's cherry lips, pressed against his own lips, how alluring Donghyuck's face is when he grasps for air after they parted, and that drives Mark crazy.

Today just sucks. Those ass heads won't stop bothering Mark, calling his mother names that shouldn't even being said. Mark knows his mother is not some kind of saint. She does bad things for money. But that doesn't mean those ass heads can say shits about her. Mark is pissed not because those ass heads annoy him but because he calls his mother by names. They don't even have the right to do that. They don't even know the reason why his mother does that job in the first place. They don't know how hard it is for her.

Mark finally decides to go to the school rooftop. He needs his cigarette. Well, not his, but Donghyuck's. As expected Donghyuck is there. Sitting and blowing smoke from his mouth.

"Sup bro?" Donghyuck says that with his usual tone. Excited.

"Nothing, can you just give me yours?"

"Sure."

Donghyuck hands his cigarettes to Mark, who’s sitting beside him. Mark lights the cigarette with his favorite white lighter, tries to blow his problem away. Donghyuck is Mark's smoking buddy. They have the same bad habit. Yes, smoking. But Mark only smokes when he's pissed or sad while Donghyuck smokes in every occasion. At first, Mark was annoyed because Donghyuck kind of take his favorite spot. But after all, they become friend because that brings Mark benefit. He doesn't have to hide cigarettes and worry about being caught because Donghyuck will support all his cigarettes need. And he's a fun person to talk to also Mark is comfortable with him. That's the real deal actually.

"So what's wrong?" Donghyuck finally speaks again after 10 minutes of silent. Mark blows the smoke before finally says something.

"Those dicks keep talking shits about my mom. And I'm just so pissed. I can't hold that anymore." Mark sighs. Still so pissed about what just happened.

"Want me to help you beat them up?" Donghyuck asks. His voice is just warm. The kind of warmth that makes you wants it to linger as long as possible. And sure Mark wants to keep that warmth forever.

"I’d love to. But that won't make me feel better. They'll tell the teacher and you know we can't win against them. I don't want to cause any trouble for my mom. She's been through a lot."

"Then i know exactly what you need other than beating them up."

"What?"

"Meet me after your class ends at the parking lot."

The bell rings before Mark could ask about anything. Every plan that includes Donghyuck doesn’t sound good. But mark is curious and he needs support from someone. And he knows Donghyuck is the only one who's going to give him that. So after class Mark really comes to the parking lot. He sees Donghyuck's car. Donghyuck's waving his hand and telling mark to get in the car.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"It's secret Mark, but it's gonna be fun I promise." Donghyuck smiles. He's shining; Mark must be hallucinating right now.

"I hope we won't do illegal things."

"Chill dude. Seriously we won't do anything illegal okay. Well except smoking. Now shut up and wear the seatbelt." That is enough to shut Mark’s mouth from asking more questions, but that isn’t enough to stop his anxiety.

Donghyuck drives the car and they finally stop in a convenient store.

"You better change your clothes, I'll buy some stuff. You can use my clothes. Here."

"Seriously where the fuck are we gonna go Donghyuck I'm having anxiety right now. At least you can tell where we are heading to."

"Okay slow down mark we're going to Vancouver" Mark can't believe Vancouver is 2 hours’ drive from his home and definitely they won't back until midnight.

"Are you crazy? My mom will be worried as hell, Donghyuck."

"That's why you need to say that you're staying in my house doing some projects. Now get out and change your clothes or we'll be late." Mark can't help but to do what Donghyuck has told him. But he's still anxious. This is just a crazy idea. But mark also feels excited and he doesn’t understand.

Mark finally changed his uniform with Donghyuck's jeans, t-shirt, and jacket. Donghyuck already changed too and he bought some snacks too.

"Okay, we're ready now. Let's go"

Another drives while listening to Justin Bieber’s songs, their favorite. Somehow Mark enjoys this trip. It's been a long time since the last he went to another city. And the fresh air that he's breathing right feels so soothing. Maybe after a while, he could forget his problems.

"Mark look" Donghyuck finally speaks. Mark looks at where Donghyuck is pointing his finger right now. He sees sunset but more beautiful than he ever saw in his entire life.

"Let's stop." Donghyuck stops his car. Donghyuck and Mark lean on the car. Donghyuck smokes once again. Mark follows him, blowing smoke from his mouth. He can't believe today he really makes his lungs work so hard.

"Do you always do this kind of thing?" He can’t help but ask Donghyuck this question. Donghyuck is full of mystery and Mark is always so curious about it.

"What do you mean by this kind of thing?" Donghyuck looks at Mark’s eyes for a second, but that’s enough to make Mark feel the butterfly inside his stomach.

"Driving so far just to smoke?"

"Sometimes" Donghyuck laughs before continues. "You know my parents don’t even in the house so I could do this thing. And to be honest I love it. My home feels so empty but by traveling I can make my heart less lonely. The perks of having shitty parents"

Mark realized he and Donghyuck are such a contradiction, yet they have more similarities.

"So without me today, you still gonna go?" Mark asks.

"Of course. But you know I really have planned to invite you today even though without you feeling awful. But you know the fact that you're annoyed today makes thing a lot easier." Donghyuck laughs as if there's nothing to worry about. As if everything is fine. Something Mark could never do.

"Come on, we have to go now if we want to come back before midnight." Mark follows Donghyuck to the car again, enjoys the wind that blows through the car windows.

After 2 hours of driving, they're finally in a carnival and Mark can't believe what he sees.

"Really Donghyuck? We drove 2 hours just to go to a carnival?" Actually, Mark doesn't feel angry or annoyed at all. He just really surprised. The fact that Donghyuck can do this without any kind of worry really freaks him up.

"Yup, now let's enjoy this before we can't."

Donghyuck drags Mark to a game arena. Mark misses doing this, to be honest. Carnival used to be his favorite before his dad suddenly left him alone with only her mom remains.

"Mark let's try that game."

Donghyuck points at the shooting game. Again, Mark follows Donghyuck, he's really excited right now. But he's not sure whether it's because of the game or because of Donghyuck. He maybe just realized this, but Donghyuck always able to create happy moments for Mark, from the simple thing until the complicated one. And this is just one of them.

"That was hard." Donghyuck laughs. His laugh is so contagious, Mark finally laughs too.

"Yeah, we just wasted 10 bucks for that game. I can't believe." Mark feels like he finally can forget his problem. How magical. Donghyuck itself is magical. As magical as the spell, that can turn Mark’s bad day into a good one.

"Wanna go to the beach?" Donghyuck asks. He smokes his cigarettes again.

"Is it far? I mean it's almost 11?"

"No, it’s only 15 minutes’ drive."

"Ok then" Mark knows this is such a crazy idea, again. He never did this before. He barely goes to the beach at afternoon, then why he suddenly agrees with Donghyuck's idea. What possibly he can get from going to a beach at 11 p.m. but it's just weird how he's so excited right now.

They finally arrived at the beach 15 minutes later. It's just a small beach nothing special. But the smell of salt is really calming. The weather is cold as the wind blows but Mark feels warmer than when he is in his bed. They sit on the sand. While Donghyuck smokes, Mark just stares at the ocean. Enough cigarettes for today because he's not feeling terrible anymore, thanks to Donghyuck. Donghyuck is just quiet, something that doesn't happen very often. The silence should kill, but mark feels safe. He's just happy. Happiness just seems reachable when he's with Donghyuck. The thing that Mark only realized today, took him months to admit that he feels happy when he's with Donghyuck. Mark is just scared to admit it. But in the silence he can't help but to admit everything.

"Donghyuck, I need to tell you something." Mark says. He has to spill this now or everything will become harder. He knows probably Donghyuck won't return his feeling but he just can't keep it anymore not when he's finally able to admit it.

"Me too." Donghyuck answers.

Mark takes a deep breath before spilling his words. He tries so hard to look at Donghyuck in the eye. But Donghyuck's eyes make him lost. Mark doesn’t know where this gut comes from but he finally speaks.

"Donghyuck, I think I fall for you. I know this is probably weird but I just need to spill this to you because I don’t know if after this I'll still have the guts to do this. so.."

Mark's words are hanging. And Donghyuck remains silent. Both of them are thinking something. Mark starts to feel more anxious but Donghyuck finally found his voice.

"But Mark I, I have to go. I will move to Korea, tomorrow. I won't be in Canada anymore. My parents want to move. And I have to follow them. This is my last adventure in here. That's why I ask you to come because we won't able to do this anymore. And I, I really want to accept your feeling. But I can't, Mark. I'm just gonna give you false hope and endless time of waiting, because I won't be back. I can't. My parents business is collapsing right now and we just can't back to Canada. My parents have so much debt. They have to run away. Mark, I'm sorry."