#marionil

I'm now 18 years old, I've been out for 5 years, this month. It took a whole lot for me to get this far, when i never thought i would still be here. I've tried taking my life on countless occasions, the last time, was last December 13th i was caught at 2am by Marion PD found loading a gun ready to end my own life from being bullied by people I believed would never hurt me for who i am. Later being taken inpatient at Centerpointe in St. Charles MO, a mental rehabilitation hospital. I thought that was the worst choice for me but i honestly would never take back that experience. Sometimes we need help and don't believe it'll work or be healthy for us, but i plead for others who are going through hard times with accepting themselves, and any and all situations you're currently going through or things you can't yet let go of, please keep trying. I still struggle to pick myself back up after being attacked for being who i am, but i always manage somehow. In all reality, there are people who love you and people who don't. People who say they do, and they don't. There's nothing anyone can do about that. So even after finding the right people to surround yourself safely with, never forget that at the end of the day, all you really truly have is yourself and never be ashamed to do what you have to to love yourself and put yourself first. One day you'll realize that you're who matters the most.