#mardlu

“I see someone’s having a good time.”

The chilly voice rooted Lucy’s feet in place, the song she had been belting out moments before dying with a squeak and squawk.  Heat crept into her ears as she stared at her unwanted house guest with incriminating suds clinging to her forearms.

“H-how long have you been standing there?” Lucy asked, already dreading the answer as a cruel smile spread across the man’s face.

“Long enough,” he informed her.  He sat down on her couch and languidly spread out his long limbs upon it.  “Don’t let me stop you.  Those motions you were making were quite entertaining.”

“I refuse,” Lucy muttered, turning away from the demon making himself at home on her furniture.  Why, oh why did Mirajane give a key to whomever asked?  That was just asking for trouble in the future.  More trouble than a demon king getting treated to a show of her dancing and singing while washing the dishes.

For that matter why was The Mard Geer even at her apartment in the first place?  What did he want?

Well, she could interrogate him once she was done.  She’d be damned if she put him above her own needs.

I love both of these ships to death.

MardLu:

1. Demon King x Celestial Queen aesthetic.  I am so here for it.

2. Mard seemed legitimately impressed with Lucy for surviving Allegria.  To the point of placing a bounty on her for fun with a relatively high reward for his minions.  It’s a twisted sort of respect, but I somewhat enjoy that.

3. Twisted aspects of the relationship.  It can be pretty rewarding to explore those in fanfiction, both writing and reading, and I very much appreciate the sheer amount of opportunity this ship provides for it.

4. They’re both such snarky people, I would have loved to see them interact face to face.

5. The battle with the celestial king, and Mard’s speeches during it, made me think he has quite the history with celestial spirits and celestial wizards as a result.

6. Capricious as he is, I could see Mard taking an instant like to her.

7. ANGST ANGST ANGST.

AcnoLu:

1. SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL ANGST.

2. Big Bad x Main Heroine is a fun ship combination in general.

3. Exploring Acnologia’s past isn’t something we really got a whole lot of in canon, but with the setup regarding Anna and the Heartfilias, it opens up some interesting doors on that front.

4. They’re an aesthetically pleasing pairing to look at.

“Why even be a dark guild?” Lucy mused aloud, laying on her back on her couch with her feet propped up on Mard Geer’s lap as he read from one of her books.  “I mean... there have been plenty of legal guilds that have gotten away with all sorts of things.  They just hid it from the council.”

“Hmm,” the demon king replied when she paused, indicating that he was still listening.

Satisfied by his show of participation, Lucy continued on.  “I mean... take Gajeel and Juvia for instance.  They actively beat the crap out of Team Shadow Gear, and strung them up!  They even kidnapped me and gave me the beating of a lifetime, on top of nearly destroying an entire city full of innocent civilians!  And their only punishment is disbandment?  Come on!”

Mard paused in his reading, glancing down at Lucy’s face.  “They did what to you, now?”

She waved him off.  “Don’t worry about it, it’s ancient history.  I mean... sure Juvia tried to drown me at one point, but that was before she joined Fairy Tail.  They’re better now.”

The demon didn’t return to his book, and instead continued to stare at her.  “I would say that you’re entirely too forgiving, but I suppose if you weren’t... I wouldn’t be here right now,” he allowed.

“Yup, exactly!” Lucy nodded.  “At any rate, Phantom Lord was a legal guild and they got away with a lot of illegal crap long before they tried to take down Fairy Tail.  Eisenwald was a legal guild and legally killing people right up until they banned assassination requests.  The Garou Knights are fully allowed to murder anyone the crown says is their enemy, without even a trial.  The Council can imprison without a fair trial, too, if they so desire.”

“Sounds unfortunate,” Mard Geer replied.

“And Fairy Tail has gotten away with pretty much destroying everything several times over.  The worst we’ve had to deal with?  Lost revenue and a stack of paperwork.  Were there consequences for setting a national forest on fire, or setting my clothes on fire in a public place?  No!” Lucy ranted.

Mard couldn’t help but think that this was probably what had started Lucy down this track of thought in the first place.

“We live in a dystopia, Mard!”

“This is true.”

“At any rate,” Lucy said, trying to return to her initial point, “given all that, why on Earthland would you want to be a dark guild?  You could have just as easily accomplished most of your goals with no one the wiser.  In fact, it might have made a really good cover for you - like it did for Raven Tail.  Well... it did for a while for them.  Point remains - where’s the benefit in having your names on the most wanted list?”

“No taxes and no rent,” Mard replied with a slight smile.

His response stunned Lucy into silence, her eyes wide as she thought over this new revelation.

In defiance of my own ban on posting non-requests related fic on this site, I thought this was funny enough that I wanted to share it with all of you.  Hopefully Tumblr does not murder the formatting.

It’s also available on FFN and AO3.

Pairing: Mard Geer x Lucy Rating: T

A gift for @madsoullessqueen.

The sight of Mard Geer in a large, bright, floral print shirt slew Lucy on impact.

There was just something about the disconnect between the imposing king of the underworld, one of the most powerful demons of Zeref in existence, wearing something so… happy.  Especially with his patented, perpetual vague smile.

She wheezed and forgot everything she was about to say to him as she doubled over and struggled to draw breath without bursting into uncontrollable laughter.  Somehow she didn’t think that would go over too well with him, and despite the fact that he was much less of a threat than he used to be, he was still very much a great and powerful demon capable of wiping her from existence and memory with a wave of his hand.

Mard Geer watched her with something resembling curiosity in his dark eyes.  “Are you ill?” he questioned.

“Nope.”  Lucy forced the response past her lips.  “I’m good!”

This seemed only to perplex him further.  “Then why…” he gestured at her, “…this?” His voice was tinged with mild disgust at this odd new behavior she was exhibiting.

“Did you just point to all of me?”

“No.  I gestured to all of you.”

No longer as amused by his existence, now that her good humor had been so succinctly and effectively murdered, Lucy straightened her spine and stared back at the demon.  “Why are you in my apartment?  And how did you get in?” she asked instead, now remembering to wonder about that important fact.  Lucy couldn’t recall giving him a key (not that she… would under normal circumstances give her apartment key to a demon).  And she’d barred the window last week after Natsu had snuck in and decimated her food supplies.  “Did you come down the chimney?”

“Clearly not,” he stated. “Do I look covered in soot to you? If so, you may want to consider getting your eyes checked out.”

Deciding that she didn’t want to know after all, Lucy just shook her head at him.  “Why the wardrobe change, Mard?”

“It’s the Mard Geer,” he huffed.

“Why the wardrobe change, Mard Geer,” Lucy amended, mimicking his stressing of his name.  Funny, she hadn’t thought that a powerful demon king would care a little less about details like that.  Then again… he was pretty stuffy all around.  Which was partly why the shirt was so damn funny to look at.

“The,” he added.

“Wait, that’s actually a part of your name?”

The Mard Geer nodded. “Yes.”

Lucy had not been aware of this.  Now she was regretting all of the opportunities to make fun of his name that she’d unknowingly passed up until this point.  She would have to make up for lost time – especially if he decided that home invasion was to be a reoccurring thing between them.

Wait, she was getting sidetracked.  Back to the topic at hand.  “Why the wardrobe change, then?” She couldn’t quite bring herself to say his new revealed full name.  She just couldn’t.

“I was informed that I need to blend in more with humanity,” he informed her, his distaste in the garment clear.  The demon idly picked at one of the sleeves.  “I saw several of your kind wandering around in this type of thing on the way to the store.  It seems a bit overly festive, though.”

Tourists.  He’d unknowingly copied tourists.

He continued, blissfully unaware of the ramifications of his admission.  “You seem rather pleasingly dressed for a member of your kind, so I thought to ask your opinion on my human disguise.”

“The ensemble isn’t complete without sunglasses and a camera,” Lucy informed him before she could stop herself.  “Also, you need khaki shorts.  Very important.”

Interest sparked in his expression as he thought over her words.  “Very well.  I do have a desire to blend in more seamlessly with your kind.  Where might I procure these other objects?”

Lucy was pretty certain the sight of the demon king’s bare legs would kill them all, but why stop now. “I can show you,” she offered. “Just let me grab my wallet.”

Soon, she was following him out the door.  Pausing to lock the door, Lucy inquired, “How did you pay for all of that by the way?”

“Pay…?”

The genuine befuddlement in his voice nearly killed her with the image it conjured in her mind of the demon king walking into a shop, just taking what he wanted, and leaving again.

“Something is definitely wrong with you,” the Mard Geer observed dryly as Lucy once more doubled over in laughter.  “Perhaps I should come again later.”

“No!  We’re seeing this through!” Lucy told him, taking vast liberties and grabbing hold of his arm.  “Come on, I know some excellent places with which to improve your style.”

She would probably be murdered when he eventually discovered the ruse, but this was just way too good of an opportunity to pass up.