During the Goblin Rebellion in the late 19th century, her great-great-grandmother uncovered a hidden repository filled with ancient magic. To ensure the magic was never able to fall into the wrong hands, she absorbed it, passing it down generation after generation. Her mother instilled in her the knowledge of how large of a responsibility this was, that this power could still be harnessed by outside forces by coercion and manipulation. She would always need to be on guard, and always trust her instincts. 

So here she was, blasting at dueling dummies in the Room of Requirement during her free period between classes. The news had been getting increasingly more dire, and it seemed like James had a new update from his parents on the war efforts almost every other day now. Her mother worried that the day might come when her abilities would be necessary, so she had warned her via owl post months ago to be ready for anything, whether that be fighting back or disappearing completely. There was already a plan in place to pull her out of school and lie low outside of the country should her parents feel that she was in danger. But she refused to run, refused to hide, especially with her friends all eager on joining the Order. The lot of them had vowed to do it after leaving school in a few months, Sirius and James foaming at the mouth for the chance to fight. None of them knew about her abilities, a secret her family had kept for generations, but continuing that tradition was becoming harder and harder because of one person in particular. 

She exited the Room of Requirement quietly, keeping cool and neutral to avoid being caught. As she rounded the corner towards the main stairway, a hand pulled her down the opposite hall.

“What were you doing?” Remus stared at her curiously, the ghost of a smirk on his face.

“Studying?” She choked out, trying her best to sound convincing and normal. 

He didn’t buy it.

“Bullshit,” he rolled his eyes playfully, “don’t lie to me, you’re a terrible liar, love.” 

Fuck. He always knew how to rip at her heartstrings with a single word. She had met the boys during her first year at school, quickly melding into their group seamlessly. They became a tightly knit group, over the years folding in more friends like Marlene, Lily, and Mary. Out of them all though, Remus had always been her closest confidant. They were never far from one another, always drawn in like magnets. She loved him fiercely, a feeling that up until the past year or so she had thought was strictly platonic; ignoring all of the butterflies and skipped heartbeats when he was near. She loved him. She was in love with him. She would rather die than risk their friendship and address it.

Pushing past him to continue back toward the stairs, she huffed. “I’m not lying, I was studying for Defense. Something you could probably benefit from…” she gave him a sarcastic glance, catching his overly-dramatic scoff. 

“Excuse me?” It only took him a few long strides to catch up to her, falling into step as they made their way downstairs, “I’ll have you know that I’ve received top marks in Defense every single year.”

She bit back a grin, walking towards the Great Hall. The distant sound of students eating echoed down the corridor. 

“You’re up to something,” Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously, just as the smell of lunch permeated the air. He was always so easily distracted by food, something she never failed to use to an advantage. “I’ll figure it out soon enough, don’t you worry.” He smirked playfully, immediately dropping his crusade in lieu of joining the other boys at the table. 

She sighed with mild relief, taking her place beside him.

———

It was stupid of her to assume that Remus had forgotten about seemingly catching her at the Room of Requirement, though hindsight is 20/20 after all. The following week, she made her usual trip up to practice with the dummies again, only this time she had a visitor. The corridor outside the room was clear (she always made sure to triple check), so she quietly whispered the phrase to make the door appear. As she slipped into the room, Remus snuck in behind her, eliciting a swift shove against the wall. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She hissed, slamming the door shut before anyone else could come in, keeping her palm flat against his chest.

He smiled triumphantly as she backed away, “I followed you.”

She narrowed her eyes, “Creep.”

Remus chuckled quietly, peering around at the Room of Requirement and whistling low in admiration. “This is…something else…”

Sighing, she sat in a chair beside a large wooden desk strewn with papers and books. “I come here to study.” Not a complete lie, which kept the guilt from eating away at her. 

Remus hummed questioningly, staring out at the dueling dummies that lined the magically-created forest off to the left. 

“I don’t think you do, at least not for classes anyway,” he mused, gaze coming to a scrutinizing rest on her. “Tell me what’s going on. You’ve been my best friend for years, I know when something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong Remus,” she mumbled, heart beginning to beat out of her chest. 

“Whatever it is,” his expression softened slightly, “I can help. Let me help you.”

She shook her head, resolve beginning to chip. “You can’t help this time…”

She watched as he visibly swallowed dryly, “So…there is something going on then, isn’t there?”

For a few moments, they stared at each other, standing at the edge of an impasse. Finally, she sighed, and began to tell Remus everything. 

———

“So you’ve been preparing to fight?” Remus had paled slightly when she explained her end goal. No matter what her parents wanted, she was going to use her abilities to fight back. It could be a turning point in the war, if only she could strengthen and control them fully. 

She nodded firmly, unwavering even after hearing him beg for her to stay out of this. “Do you—do you want me to show you?” 

Remus smiled slightly, eager to see the ancient magic she had described in action. He watched intently as she cast some of it towards the dummies, illuminating the space around them with bright blue light before each dummy shattered into pieces with barely a flick of her wrist. When she finished, Remus stared at her in awe, like a goddess come down to this earth. She blushed at the intensity of his gaze, “Please stop looking at me like that.”

He didn’t. Instead, abruptly spitting out a sentence that froze her entirely.

“You’re so beautiful.”

She stared back at him, “…what?”

Remus shook his head, averting his eyes quickly as he realized what he had said out loud. “I uh—I should go actually. I forgot I told Sirius I’d meet him—“

“Yeah. That’s…fine,” she coughed nervously, “I’ll see you at dinner later?”

Remus nodded, and she didn’t miss the blush that dusted his cheeks as he turned towards the door.

———

London, 1979

Sirius swung his legs as he sat on the kitchen counter, watching as the two of them bickered back and forth. “Oh come off it Moony!” He smirked, taking a sip of his coffee, “Let her go, she’s one of the best fighters we have.”

She shot Sirius a wink, quickly focusing back on Remus’ scowling face. 

“I’m not letting her go off on this completely insane mission for Dumbledore!” Remus snapped, folding his arms across his chest in finality. 

“You’re not letting me?” Her eyes widened, “I'm sorry, but who are you to determine what I may or may not do with my own life?”

Remus visibly bristled, “Your best fucking friend! Someone who cares very deeply about you!”

She hummed, just as Sirius mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like “that’s one way to put it.”

“Well as my best friend, you of all people should respect my wishes. I’m doing the job, and you can’t stop me,” she pushed past him to exit the kitchen they all shared, but not before Sirius could let out a frustrated huff of annoyance.

“Can you two just please, do us all a favor, and fuck already?” 

She stopped in her tracks, Remus freezing as well. Neither of them made a move until she turned slowly to glare daggers at Sirius.

“What the fuck is wrong with you…” she mumbled, finally storming down the hallway and slamming the door to her room. 

Sirius smirked, hopping off the counter to clap Remus on the shoulder. “All I’m gonna say, is that I’m going to James’ house for a few hours. So feel free to be as loud as you want. Get out some of that anger.”

Before Remus could swat him, Sirius ducked and apparated to meet James. 

He sighed, collecting his thoughts before making the walk down to her room, unable to let her leave on a bad note. The mission she had be asked to lead was a dangerous one, Dumbledore had asked for her personally. Remus wasn’t sure of the entire job, seeing as how he wasn’t involved, but he had a feeling it had to do with her abilities. Dumbledore had found out about them shortly after they all joined the Order, but only because she had let him. She wanted to show him that she could be a weapon, and a devastating one at that; one that the Order could use (or exploit as he put it) to end the war. The notion didn’t sit right with Remus, something he had tried to express multiple times to her with no response other than “Dumbledore knows what he’s doing, Remus”. Knocking softly, he listened for a response.

“I don’t want to talk to you Remus,” she called through the door, immediately knowing he would show up and apologize moments after their fight. They’d been friends for too long, their habits and quirks were as familiar as a reflection. 

Remus sighed, “Please open the door. I just…I need to talk to you.”

The lock clicked, door opening a crack to reveal her stoic face. “Go ahead, then.”

He resisted rolling his eyes, “May I come in?”

“You don’t seem to have an issue dictating my actions, so you tell me.” 

Before he could respond, she turned and sat on her bed, allowing him entrance into her room. Even though no one else was home, he shut the door quietly to create more tangible privacy. She looked at him expectantly. 

“I’m sorry, okay?” He offered calmly.

“No you’re not,” she sighed, “You’ve done this before, and you’ll do it again. I just—I just wish you’d have more faith in me, I guess…”

Remus stared at her like she’d struck him. “Have faith in you? Love, I’m in awe of you always.”

Her heart began to flutter erratically, meeting his eyes to try and find any bit of mockery in his words. She found none.

“How could I not be?” He continued, “You’re the strongest witch I know, and one of the smartest people I’ve ever met—and that’s not even taking into account your ancient power.”

She blushed, giving him a small smile as she looked up at him, “…One of the smartest?”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Fine. The smartest person I know.”

She stood up and hugged him, melting into his warmth as he returned the embrace. “Apology accepted. But please…can you try to not control my every move from now on? I’m going to be a part of this war whether you like it or not.”

Remus rested a cheek atop her head, “I just can’t lose you…and I know how determined you are. I don’t want you to get caught up and become involved in something you can’t come back from.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise. The mission isn’t even happening just yet, there’s still time to prepare. You just need to trust me,” she looked up at him. 

“I promise to trust you if you promise to always come back to me,” he murmured. 

For the briefest of moments, she hated him. Hated the way he made her heart soar, hated the way her fingers itched to trace every scar that marred his skin, hated how her lips craved to discover what his felt like. But more than that, she hated the coward within her, the one that didn’t dare reveal the truth to him. So instead, she buried her face in his chest and squeezed him tightly. “I’ll always come back to you Remus.”

———

London, 1980

Her bag had been packed for over a week, sitting underneath her bed as it awaited retrieval. The war had taken a turn for the worse, all of them living in a constant state of fear for not only themselves but for others. She knew the orders for the mission were incoming; she could feel it. James and Lily had told them all about the prophecy regarding their unborn child, a boy if it was believed to be true, a little boy they were to name Harry. The news had struck her so hard she had almost vomited right there on the Potter’s carpet. Remus’s arm around her waist was the only thing that kept her upright. That night, when they arrived back at the apartment, Sirius went straight to his room without another word, silent and angry. She had sat in Remus’s arms and cried until the tears wouldn’t come, settling for the sweet oblivion of sleep instead. She’d awoken pressed against his chest, Remus choosing to stay intertwined on the couch instead of depositing her sleeping body in her own bed. The memory of his peaceful face inches from hers that morning is the one that kept her moving as she threw the bag strap over her shoulder and apparated to a small house near the Forest of Dean. She thought of him and it gave her a reason to leave; she needed to help save him. She needed to help save all of them. Her non-essential belongings were left behind in the apartment, along with a note for Remus that she placed atop his dresser.

“I’ll always come back to you,” is all it said.

———

Islington, 1995

Remus followed the scent of coffee from their bedroom on the 2nd floor of Grimmauld Place. It was one of life’s simple pleasures that he still managed to hold onto during times like this. As he trudged into the kitchen with a yawn, Sirius placed a mug on the table and smiled softly. 

“Morning, Moony,” he said as Remus sat down, offering a fond look of his own. They were both confined to the townhouse, Sirius in all actuality, but Remus more in solidarity; and though the isolation was sometimes stifling, Remus quite enjoyed the domesticity it allowed them. It reminded him of her. Sirius tossed the Daily Prophet onto the table in front of Remus, another daily habit of his being combing the paper for any news or breakthroughs in the war. He still couldn’t believe it was all happening again…

On the fourth page, about halfway down, a small article caught his attention:

Dumbledore Loyalist Spy Found Dead in Ireland.

Smiling in a Ministry photo below, was her. 

He couldn’t breathe.

He’d spent 15 years searching for her, trying to find any information as to where she had disappeared to that night over a decade ago. Her letter was still in his drawer. Remus would read it every now and then when the memories got to be too much. 

I’ll always come back to you.

He had believed it.

He was a fool.

“Oh my darling, what have you done…” he whispered, hand coming to cover his mouth. 

Sirius appeared over his shoulder to see what was going on, immediately gripping Remus’ shoulder in support. “Fuck…” he whispered, “Moony, I’m—“

Remus shook his head, “He knew…”

“Who knew?” Sirius kept a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“Dumbledore fucking knew she was alive this whole time!” Remus slammed a fist onto the table, rattling the coffee mugs. “Sirius, he knew I was looking for her! He saw it all and said nothing! He let her—he let her die…” His face crumpled as the tears began to fall, dropping onto the newspaper and smudging the ink in their wake. 

“Remus,” Sirius said softly, holding back tears of his own, “I’m so sorry…”

A low growl sounded from Remus, standing up to launch his coffee mug across the kitchen, smashing against the far wall in a spray of ceramic. “He used her! He made her into a fucking weapon that he just—that he just could throw away!”

Sirius gripped his arm, moving around to hug him, letting Remus release a deep sob into his chest.

“I loved her,” he whispered, “I never told her…”

Sirius swallowed the lump in his throat, “I know…we all knew.”

Remus sniffed, “Do you—do you think she did?”

He sat with the thought for a moment, remembering the way Remus and her had always looked at each other, how they would always be within arms reach. He remembered the night he found them on the couch, a week before she disappeared, Remus cradling her closely as they slept. He’d suspected for years that they were in love, but that night had solidified it. 

Sirius met his eyes, a corner of his lips quirking upward, “She did. She might not have realized it…but I think she knew.” 

Remus inhaled a shaky breath, and Sirius moved to sit on the bench. “She loved you too, y’know.”

Remus lifted his gaze, eyes red and glassy, “How d’you know?”

He shrugged, giving him a small, sad grin, “I just…it was obvious. At least to the rest of us apparently.”

Remus huffed out a sorry excuse of a laugh, the two of them sitting together in silence for a moment.

“I miss her Pads…” he whispered.

“I know, I do too,” Sirius threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in. Remus reached forward and tore out the article, ripping delicately around the photo so you could no longer see the headline. It was just her. The same eyes he had loved since they were eleven, the familiar smile that she’d give whenever she saw him. She looked older, they all did, but she was more beautiful to him than ever. 

Remus stood from the table and went back up to his room, Sirius beginning to clean up the shattered coffee mug against his friend’s insistence. From his drawer, he pulled out the wrinkled letter, unfolding it to re-read the scribbled handwriting he’d spent years memorizing. Placing the small photo atop the note, he folded it back up, kissing it once.

“You broke your promise love,” he whispered, “but I forgive you. You know I could never stay mad at you for very long.”