#mao sid

Mao from SID - Interview in  LINE BLOG「V.I.P Press」

Chapter 21

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  His cold fingers gingerly danced on the girl’s pallid skin as the distance between them became smaller and smaller until the tips of their noses touched. The blond man let out a sigh escape as he closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against hers while his arms squeezed tighter around the slim body.

Inhaling and exhaling, he couldn’t feel anything but the warmth of a living human, but yet the cold touch of the unconscious girl. Pressing his lips against her stone-like cheek, the man trailed them down onto her jaw-line, tracing it gently before burying himself into the crook of her neck, inhaling whatever he could. His fingers ran up and down her back before grabbing her shoulders harshly, pressing her unconscious body closer to his. Immediately, that dangerous killer instinct of his kicked in as he dug his finger nails into her skin which would surely enough bruise.

Grunting slightly, the man retracted himself from the girl before staring down at her face, not a single emotion surfacing on his face. With his free hand, the man gripped her hair and gently yanked her head to the side, as if examining a product at the market. Insanity seemed to seem through his whole body as his eyes turned a nasty rust-brown color.

“One day, I will end you.”

    Dragging my dead weight along with me, I glared at the corridors of the school building and cursed them silently in my head. Why must they be so long? Surely enough, I would be called into the principal’s office in which I shall be lectured, and by some miracle maybe I won’t be kicked out. Key word: Miracle.

Slowly and quietly twisting the door handle, I tried to sneak in but with my tattered and stained uniform, it really was not that hard to not notice me.

“Shizaki! Come in,” my teacher’s voice called out to me as I winced slightly, my injured leg barely being able to hold my weight.

“A-ano sensei-”

“This is worse than I expected!” The aged man cut me off as he put his hand on his chin, shaking his head as his eyes roamed from the huge red stain at the front of my shirt to the deep scratched on my legs.

“The principal got a call from the hospital saying that you were involved in a car crash and that you might not be able to come to school, but I am glad that your educational spirit has urged you to come, although in this terrible state, to our beloved Shiruyama High!” Clapping his hands together the teacher ushered me back to my desk as I almost tripped over someone else’s.

Ushering Ino to move over, I grabbed my injured leg with both hands and swung it carefully over. “Wow girl, what ate you and shat you out?” the blonde snickered as I growled under my breath.

“Shut up will you,” I snapped as Ino simply shrugged her shoulders, but not before eyeing me up and down.  

“Okay okay, chill,” she muttered as she tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear, huffing slightly and taken aback by my outburst.

The wind blew in sharply through the small crack in the window making a shrill and high pitched scream; the whole class winced as a few covered their ears, feeling shivers attack their frail spines. In mere minutes, the wind overpowered the window and with a loud whoosh sent it open, letting the ice coldness sweep over all of us.

Some sneezed, some yelled out obscenities while others shrugged and continued on with writing whatever was on the board. After the small tempest has calmed, a single green leaf blew in, as if floating, before landing lightly on my desk. A boy behind me looked over the shoulder and loudly stated, “It’s already the end of October, how can there still be green leaves?”

Looking outside, our school’s old tree stood with fiery red and yellow leaves, barely hanging onto their branches. The teacher’s quick footsteps arrived at my desk as he picked the fresh green leaf up, examining it carefully. “This is the last green leaf on that tree, and it has fallen,” the aged man smiled as he delicately rubbed the leaf between his pudgy index finger and thumb. “Don’t you think it’s sad? Not being able to turn into the small flames adorning the tree like all its brothers and sisters, but instead falling away and being left to shrivel up on the ground, alone.” The whole class was quiet, only the faint sound of the clock hanging crookedly on the wall sounded.

“Now this gives me an idea, your assignment shall be…..” By now his words were void to me as I stared blankly outside the window.

“Okaa-san, the wind is blowing so loudly!”

Soft and cold hands held onto the tiny ones.

“Is it now? How wonderful”

“What do you mean?”

“Shush child, let’s go outside now.”

Her grip tightened around the tiny hand, almost cutting the blood circulation off.

“Okaa-san, it’s going to rain! We’ll catch a cold!”

The door swung open as the two stepped into the drizzling rain that was getting heavier and heavier by the minute.

“Do you feel the rain?” She was excited.

“Hai Okaa-san.” She was cold.

“Good. Now do you see that green leaf?”

“Hai,” she wanted to go inside.

“We’ll wait until it falls.” Skipping to a swing nearby, she sat down and heaved a happy sigh.

“Why?”

“Because once it falls, in all its voluptuous youth, the moment it touches the ground it will be forgotten. And the tree will be complete, burning red with joy, an inextinguishable flame of youth and glory under this heavy rain.” She turned around and whispered excitedly.

“So remember this. When the time is right, the rain pouring down on you will wash you out. And the leaf falling shall be our best memory.” Pulling her up to her lap, she stared into heterochromatic eyes lovingly.

“It’s your birthday tomorrow, my little red princess.”

“It’s going to rain,” I whispered as Ino tilted her head to the side, eyeing me skeptically. “Oh Nako, what are you a meteorologist now?” She snickered but quickly quieted down as the sounds of droplets hitting the leaves echoed into our classroom before the rain began pouring like crazy.

“Damn it! And I didn’t bring an umbrella with me today,” the blonde whines as she slumped into her chair only to be shushed by the teacher. But my eardrums were filled with the sound of the rain as the green leaf rested peacefully on my notebook, innocently almost.

“By the way, your birthday is tomorrow isn’t it?” I gulped nervously.

“Ah, that’s right I almost forgot,” I wish I forgot.

The day whizzed by quickly and thanks to the rain soccer was canceled. Dragging my heavy feet through the muddy walkway, I ran a hand over my face to get rid of the excess water, although that was completely useless because in the end more rain poured down on me. Everywhere I went, there were red trees adorning the monochromatic scenery, drawing attention to themselves and not a single yellow leaf was seen amidst the crimson battlefield.

I hate red

I felt like I was walking through a crowd of mockery. The black bark was taunting me as the frivolous leaves seemed to rustle by themselves, motioning for me to admire their beauty. For each step I took and each glance I threw at the flames burning passionately above my head, a mischievous smile with amber eye burned into my mind.

My shinku-toge

Her dark and luscious hair rested on her shoulders as her amber eyes looked deeply into my eyes. I could feel her tiny fingers grasp my shoulders as her inaudible words kept replaying in my head.

Oh how much I would give to kill her.

How much I would give to kill myself.

Breathing was getting more difficult as anger seemed to build up inside of me. My feet have already carried me off trail and I was aimlessly wandering the park, which was now getting darker by each passing minute. My eyes were wide open as I tried as hard as I could to keep my tears of rage from falling and blending in with the rain. Unconsciously, I took out a knife and pressed it so hard against my neck that a sense of excitement and ecstasy overwhelmed me.

Why didn’t I do this years ago

My breathing was so loud and broken that I almost felt like laughing at how funny this whole situation was. The knife already cut into my first layer of skin as I smiled so widely my face hurt.

I hate myself

I hate what I have become

I hate the fact that I was born

But what do you do with all the things you hate?

Simple of course. You destroy it

I slowly began scissoring my way through as the knife went deeper and deeper and the pain was giving me an emotional high. I have never felt this good before, so good I couldn’t stop the giggling from escaping from my smiling mouth.

Oh god I’m going to die