Yesterday was parent-teacher conferences at my daughter's new school. Â I've been happily surprised that her middle-school transition has seemed to be low-drama, and her school has a fancy-schmancy online system that I can look at her grades on. Â So I knew that things were going well - no real dread going into the meetings.
In the first meeting, one of her teachers was like:  "She's very shy and quiet."  I immediately felt my face flush at this mildest of criticisms - and one that I actually mostly agree with!  "Uh-huh," I said with a little bit of a tone.  I really didn't mean to; it was just "Papa Bear" instincts rearing up.  I took a deep breathe and got my shit together.  The rest of the meeting went fine.  She is shy and quiet!  Calm down, Doug!
I really don't think of myself as unrealistic about my kid. Â I'm not one of these parents that says their kid is "creative" while the kid is scratching "Fart" into a table with a pocket knife. Â I think I'm eyes-wide-open.
But the Papa Bear instinct is fierce sometimes.  I remember years ago when we forced her to play soccer for a hot minute, I was in peak Papa Bear mode.  She didn't know what the hell she was doing, was lost among a bunch of mini-Pelès, the ball whizzing past her.  I wasn't worrying about her scoring; I was worried about her feeling humiliated.  It was awful to watch her out there so out of her depth.  We had thought it would be a good experience, a good lesson in teamwork and listening to a coach and, ya know, exercise.  But instead it was a lesson in "sign your kid up for soccer earlier in life." Â
Other Papa Bears at the game were ready to beat the ref up for a bad call or because their kid got tripped, even though he was totally fine. Â I was pretty uncomfortable around these Rage Bears, glad that I hadn't previously lost my way so much that I thought yelling at a ref in front of a bunch of kids was a good idea.
Anyway, kids are almost always fine without our raging - our Bear instincts mostly just get in the way. Â I'm glad I didn't freak out on this teacher when my kid is actually getting good grades and everything is fine. Â But it was weirdly close! Â It's the animal instinct, like trying to protect your cubs. Â
Be careful! Â We all have that inside us, but we have to be wise about when to bring our natural instincts to, um, bear. Â (Sorry)
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