Still trying too find myself .

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(2017.03.01)

i made a self-portrait. i hate my face and body lately i could barely look at the mirror without scowling at my ugly reflection, but at least i could make myself flawless in my art. tbh, art has been one of the very few things that keeps me going lately. i’ve been in a bad place for the past couple of months and i don’t know shit about what to do with my life anymore; but drawing and illustrating and creating and crafting somehow fuel me to move forward. it was more than enough for me to see my creations in digital canvas or in crafted materials, but selling my art to actual people who genuinely likes and appreciate my work is really something that surprises and energizes me. like, “wow, you really like this artwork of mine even though i’m a piece of shit?” kinda thing. i’d never thought someone would buy something that i made, really. i’ve always regarded myself as a crappy human being, but somehow creating art and sharing it to people makes me think that somehow, my work has some sort of value. that i have some value. or maybe not, idk. anyway, really thankful for all the support recently. i’m going to attend a handful of events in the coming weeks, and i have some pretty ambitious plans for my art business next year. hopefully, my manic-depressive, anxiety-ridden, and panic-inducing brain would cooperate.