#maneskinmasterlist

I had bought a few pregnancy tests the week before, because I had my suspicions about missing my period and the fact that I was throwing up a lot more then usual, but I ended up scaring myself out of if, because I was scared of the inevitable.

Damiano and I had always talked about kids, but of course we didn't want any until we had been in a relationship for a while, and now 6 years later, here I am, pregnant with my fiancés baby. We hadn't really spoken about kids since we got engaged, but I can only hope that he will be a little excited.

I have my first appointment in two days, so I plan on telling him after that, as I'll have the sonogram pictures to show him after that.

•

So, after going to the doctors, it is now a fact that I am pregnant, even though that's not a complete shock, I just thought that maybe it wasn't true, as the fear was slowly setting in.

"Damiano, I'm home." I called out as I entered the door. Taking off my shoes and undoing the jacket I was wearing.

"In here sweetums." I hear a high pitch voice, that definitely wasn't Damiano.

"Shut up, dude. I'm in the living room." The real Damiano calls out.

I walk into the living room, and am met with the 3 other band members who seem to always be over.

"Oh my, what a surprise, the guys are here. Again." I say deadpanned, pretending like their existence annoys me, when I'm reality, I love having the band over, as there was never a boring moment when they're around.

"I'm sorry, you know that no matter how hard I try, they will never leave." Damiano comes up to me and gives me a hug hello.

"Oh, don't act like you don't love us." Vic says, sending a kiss our way.

"Yes, because I love caring for 4 adult children, so fun." I walk toward the kitchen, feeling the sudden need for some tea.

"Hey, you're not actually mad that they're here right?" Damiano walks over to me, and wraps his arms around me, from the back.

"Of course not, I like having them around, just don't tell them that." I laugh.

"So, how did the appointment go." My whole body freezes at his words. I never told him about it, I simply said I would be gone for a few hours. "You left your calendar open on your desk." He whispers into my ear.

"I'm so sorry, I was going to tell you today, I just wanted the pictures to make sure." I turn around in his arms, and shove my face into his sweater.

"Are you?" He asks, I look up at him and for a second I see hope flash in his eyes, making me a lot more confident with my words.

"Yes." I smile slightly.

He doesn't say a word as he stares ahead of him, his arms still wrapped firmly around me.

"How far along are you?"

"The doctor said it's around 8 weeks." I whisper to him.

"I'm gonna be a dad." It's at that exact moment, that a tear runs down my cheek, as all the nervousness rushes out of my body.

He wraps him arms firmly around my waist and spins me around, while putting his face in the crook of my neck.

"What's got you so excited." We hear a voice at the archway to the kitchen. Ethan stands there with Thomas and Vic draped on his shoulder, with confused looks on their faces.

Damiano looks at me, silently asking for permission to tell the boys about the baby.

"Go for it." I smile at him as he screams "IM GONNA BE A DAD!"

All the guys seem confused for a minute before finally the sentence clicks in their heads. They all run to Damiano and push him around in celebration, before they each come up to me and congratulate me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Now, if you all would go away, I would love to spend time with my kid and my fiancé." Damiano says bluntly.

"Usually we would ignore you, but because of the reasoning, we'll see you tomorrow." Vic salutes before walking out the kitchen, and out the front door, making Thomas and Ethan follow him, after they wave goodbye.

•

We were both laying in bed later that night, I was reading a book, while Damiano was staring at my stomach.

"If you wanna touch it, just do it." I say, keeping my focus on my book.

"I don't wanna touch it, I wanna talk to it." I look up from my book, giving him a confused look.

"Then talk?" I say, posing as more of a question.

"But it's embarrassing, you'll be here to listen to what I say." He says honestly.

"My dear, you have done a lot of things that are way more embarrassing then talking to your baby, besides, I'm reading, not listening. I promise."

"Okay." He agrees and I quickly turn my Attention back to the book, hoping to create some kind of privacy for him and the baby. "Hi baby." I feel his fingers slowly lift up his shirt that I was currently wearing. "I'm your dad. I know you probably can't hear me, because I don't think you have ears right now, but you should know that I'm really excited about you, I've wanted kids for a while, and now I have you. No matter who you are, I think that you'll be amazing, and I know that I'll always love you, no matter how much you annoy me or even if you and I have nothing in common, I promise to always be the best dad that I can be. And I also promise that I'll be the best parent ever, your mom won't stand a chance."

"Hey!" I say to him, making him smirk.

The day I told Him was the worst thing that could've happened at that time. I was already an emotional mess when he told me to come over, but the fact that after I told him, he just stared at the floor for nearly half an hour, all while not saying anything, really screwed with my head. The whole world seemed to stop for however long we sat in silence for. The first thing that he said to me, after he snapped out of his trance, was "Please go."

And I knew that if I said no, it would have made him more upset and potentially caused more fighting, then what it was worth. The thought of him possibly never coming back to me, kissing me, loving me, killed me.

After about a month of not having any contact with him, I broke down. I let the stress of it all get to me, and bad.

A few days after my breakdown I was feeling worse than I usually do, without hesitation, I asked my mom if she would drive me to the GP to get a 'routine checkup'. My mother didn't know that I was pregnant, neither did she ever find out. When I went in for a sonogram, the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat, and that's when I knew that the stress and worry, that had been tormenting me for the last month, had won.

The idea of me being an independent mom raising her child to their full potential, without the help of a man had been growing on me over the last month. Although, now knowing that I warmed up to the idea for nothing, just made loosing the baby a whole lot more challenging on me, physically and mentally.

~Later on that week (about 5 days)

I was home alone as usual in my room - I had stayed there since I found out about the baby and luckily my family didn't asked too many questions - when I heard the front door bell ring.

I thought that if I left the person ringing the door long enough, they would go away eventually. After about 25 minutes of nonstop ringing that was coming from the doorbell, I finally got up and made my way toward the door, with a very annoyed face. I quickly swung the door open.

"Can you please stop ringing the fucking bell, nobody's home." I screamed in the persons face, without checking who it was first.

But I soon realized that the person at the door was Damiano, holding a bouquet of roses.

"And what do you want now?" I spat at him.

"I just came to say that I am sorry for how I reacted. I'm aware of how much you're going through and I want to be there for you and the baby. I know that this wasn't only your fault, I mean, I'm the one with a dick." He chuckled at his end comment but I just looked unamused.

I wasn't staring at him because I couldn't believe what he just said. I was staring because I didn't know how to tell him that, there is no baby to be there for.

"Can you please say something, even if you don't forgive me and won't let me into the baby's life that's fine but you have to know that I'm really so-"

"There is no baby to be there for." I said in just a little bit louder than a whisper.

"What?" he asks in disbelief.

"I had a miscarriage. All the stress and worrying caught up to me about a week ago. I couldn't help it, I'm sorry." I say, as I break down in tears.

I knew that as soon as I let my first tear fall, Damiano was a goner.

He clung to me for dear life as I returned the action. After losing something that was apart of you for such a short time, you just need someone there who you can talk to and cry with. I had no one until now, so I just let it all out.

He was clearly worse off than me. He was shaking so hard as we spoke. He finally came forward and took responsibility for his actions, but there was nothing there to take responsibility for and I hated myself for it. I knew by the look on his face, when I opened the door, that he was ready to be a father.

It was my fault, I know it was, but I would never say that to Him because I know he still blames himself.

He always says, "If I hadn't reacted that way we could still have had a baby." and I reply the same every time, in the only way that I know how.

"Everything happens for a reason"

I can still remember that day that he came to the house, how much we bonded over our shared pain. We were both stupid teenagers at that time, we didn't know what bringing a life into this world really meant. We didn't understand how precious that feeling is.

"I think we're maturing a lot, especially over the last year or so. So turning from the rock/pop rock sound to a more ballad, slow song sound - is something that we've just adapted to doing over the last few months." Damiano answers with confidence. While Damiano is answering, Thomas, Ethan and Vic are looking at him with such confusion.

"Why are you three pulling those faces?" The interviewer laughs, which causes the audience to do so too.

"While we do appreciate Dam's attempts to cover the truth, that isn't gonna work with us." Vic explains, giving Damiano the side eye, every so often.

"Dude, you don't gotta be so mean about it." Damiano crosses his arms and pouts at his band mate.

"What would the real reason be for the sudden change?"

"Damiano and I are the main writers in the band, and I've learnt that he writes from his emotions and experiences. The reason he's writing ballads is because he's in love." Vic finally admits for Damiano. This confession makes Damiano blush - but he puts his hands on his face to hide this.

"So mr, David?" Damiano looks at the interviewer with a smile. "Who's the lucky person?"

"Unfortunately we aren't ready to reveal to the public who the person is yet. But I will say that I am very happy and eventually we will be revealing the person, it'll just take some time."

"Nobody can rush you for that, so take your time. Now I've also heard that you guys got to work with Harry styles?"

~~

The interviewer seemed to go on forever, but eventually the band was able to leave - meaning that Damiano and I could finally go home.

"How was I?" He wraps his arms around me, when he enters the dressing room.

"You're not very sneaky when it comes to your emotions, or secrets for that matter."

"Hey that wasn't me, blame Vic for that one."

"I just pointed out the obvious, don't hate the player, hate the game." Vic sticks her tongue out at us, before walking out to go to the other guys dressing rooms.

"You did well in covering it up though. I wasn't expecting you to hide it, if I'm honest." I sit down on the sofa, where Damiano follows me to - and lets me put my feet on his lap.

"We said we weren't going to reveal unless we were both ready. I don't think either of us are ready."

"Couldn't agree more. So, can we go home now?" I plead.

"We still have the meet and greet after the show, but I promise that we'll be home before you know it. But also be prepared because Ethan's sleeping over again."

"Again? Are you serious?" I'm kinda angry that he didn't ask before hand but oh well.

"I'm sorry." He takes my feet off his lap and kneels down in front of me. "I promise I won't let him sleep in our bed. Again."

"Good, I can't deal with his cuddling all night."

Ethan and I put on our best costumes and put shirts on, just for now, so we don't burn, and made our way outside to set up for the group of energetic band members that were about to arrive. We set out chips, dips, drinks and candy for the guys to snack on, as we were planning on making some burgers for lunch.

"You know," Ethan starts, leaning against the snack table I was currently organizing, "you look absolutely stunning in that."

"It's just one of your shirts, it can't look that amazing." I giggle, knowing he loved it when I wore his clothes.

"Maybe to you, but to me, you look fantastic." He wraps his hands around my waist and starts kissing up my neck.

"Okay, the boys will be here soon, keep your hormones in order please." I push him away as he lets out a seemingly dramatic battle cry.

I laugh as I make my way inside, and retrieving the cold meat from the fridge.

Soon enough, the band make their way through the front door, making themselves the human embodiment of a tornado, making a mess with every step they take. They all hug me and say a quick hello to baby Torchio, before moving on to say hello to Ethan.

"So what are we eating?" Damiano comes up to me, as I start cutting up some tomato's for the burgers.

"Ethan's gonna grill up some burgers for us, but it'll only be later, can't have you boys getting sick because you ate before you swim." I focus on cutting the tomato's, not wanting to chop off a finger.

"Such a great mother you are to us, but speaking of mothers, how is the baby Torchio?" Damiano smiles, as he was the only other member to have a child, he can relate to our emotions right now, which is amazing because Ethan needed someone to talk to about everything, and Damiano was more then happy to help.

"They are okay, not a lot has been going on really. Have you told Leonardo about it yet?" I ask, knowing that he's been asking Damiano for a baby for a while now.

"I'm telling him this weekend, I was hoping that I could bring him over, and introduce him to the baby?"

"Of course, I haven't seen him in a while, so it'll be nice to spend some time with you two, besides I need all the practice I can get."

"What are we talking about?" Ethan enters the kitchen again, wrapping his arms around my waist, and kissing my head.

"Damiano gonna bring Leo over this weekend, so we can introduce him to the baby." I explain.

"Everyone wants to meet baby Torchio and they haven't even been born yet." Ethan laughs, as he puts his hands flat on my stomach. "You hear that, you're famous baby Torchio."

We all laugh, but that all comes to a complete stop when a sudden kick to my stomach stops us in our tracks.

"What was that?" Ethan asks, sounding scared.

"I think they just kicked for the first time." I say, not really believing the words I said.

"Oh my god, can I feel?" Damiano jumps down from the counter, and as soon as I nod, he pushes Ethan's hands away, replacing them with his own. "They aren't doing anything." He pouts.

"Ethan, say something." I say, Ethan gives me a strange look but complies anyway.

"Um, hi baby, I'm Ethan Torchio, I'm a drummer in a really cool band, nice to meet you." Another jolt to my stomach makes Damiano squeal, as he removes his hands and runs outside to get the other two.

"I think they likes your voice." I say to Ethan.

"I would hope so, they're stuck with it either way."

"You know if you just stay in place, he'll run to you." Damiano says, leaning against the pole - that was holding up the gazebo.

"Since when do you know about kids?" I ask.

"Mommy, come play!" Harry runs up to me and holds onto my legs.

"Why don't you go chase Damiano? I'm sure he would love to play with you." I suggest. I look toward Him, already giving me a glare.

"Oh Dammie?" Harry sings to Damiano, obviously very prepared for the chase.

"I don't like you." Damiano says to me before he starts running away from Harry and I.

I laugh at how well they get on. It's not often that Harry gets attached to people so quickly, so I'm surprised that Damiano was the one he got attached to, especially with him being my boyfriend.

I walk over to our cooler box and grab a drink, before I sit down on the grass, and watch the two special boys in my life. I watch on as Dom slows down, so that Harry can catch him, which leads to Dom throwing him in the air.

Suddenly, I hear the annoyingly familiar sound of cameras clicking.

This is probably one of the biggest downsides to having a famous partner. No privacy what so ever.

I quickly pack up our picnic and head to the car, where Dom is carrying Harry behind me. Luckily we get to the car with no problem.

"I'm sorry this always happens. I really didn't want today to end up like this." Damiano says.

"It's not your fault, besides it feels like a at home movie day to me anyway." I smile at him as I start driving back to my house.

~~

After we finished our 4th movie yesterday, Dom decided to just stay over so it's easier for us both.

I go on Instagram as I start making myself some tea, and see that I have a lot more Instagram notifications then usual. I do a little digging and find out why there are so many. Turn out people didn't know that Harry is only my kid, and now all Dom's fans think that he's the dad.

"Hey there." He says as he walks into the kitchen.

He goes for a kiss but I shove my phone in his face, making sure he sees it. He takes the phone from my hand and reads the article.

"So Harry's mine?" He jokes.

"Definitely, I mean I didn't even know you when he was conceived but yes, he is yours." I sarcastically say.

"Don't worry about this, I'll clear it all up." He kisses my head and goes back upstairs.

A few minutes later, I get a notification on my phone saying that he posted something.

The picture that I took on Christmas last year.

Underneath the caption read;

"Hello fellow internet users. Today I'm going to be addressing a rumor. Yes, I know that I should stray away from rumors but this one is another kind of personal. Yesterday, I took my two favorite people to the park - where we were bombarded with paparazzi only a few minutes after arriving. Because of this, there were a lot of pictures out there, of me and the mystery kid. I'm here to tell you that the kid I was with, wasn't just someone random, his name is Harry. He is the best kid in the world and no amount of words can tell you how much I love this kid. However, Harry is not biologically mine, my partner had him two years ago - while in another relationship. Although he may not be mine biologically, he will always be a huge part of my life. Thank you for all the concerns about yesterday, but everyone is okay.

"Why did I agree to this?"

"Because you love Ethan and would do anything to make him happy." Thomas says, he is sitting on my bed. I glare at him with a sarcastic smile.

"I know Thomas is right, but why can't I do it too? I think makeup is fun." Damiano complains once again.

"Because it's Ethan, he might accidentally stab me a few times, but he'll actually try make it look good, you on the other hand would make me look like a clown."

"A very pretty clown." Damiano corrects. I roll my eyes and bring my attention back to Ethan, who is staring at the makeup in front of him, with wonder and confusion.

"You start with this." I grab the primer and give it to him.

"Oh." He smiles and opens the cap, squeezing a large amount onto his hand. Rip my pores.

"You really don't need that much, even I could've told you that." Thomas comments.

"Well, you're not the one doing the makeup are you?" Thomas lowers his head, probably trying to hide his laugh, at Ethan's attempted comeback.

"What next?" He asks.

"Next you have to wipe some of this off, it is literally coating my skin."

"And that's not a good thing?" I sigh and wipe off some of the primer with a face wipe.

"Okay, now that my face isn't covered anymore, this goes on next." I hand him the foundation and he looks at me very confused.

"How do I open this?"

"It's already open just push it down." He places the tube on the floor and pushes his hand fully down onto the bottle, making the foundation spill all over my floor. "Not like that."

"I didn't know the floor wanted it's makeup done too." Thomas teases.

"Alright, that's it, out! Now!"

"What did we do?" Damiano questions.

"You're making him nervous, he obviously wants to do a good job to show you guys that he can actually do it, but you're being rude to him, so get out and I'll show you when He's done. Maybe." I slam my bedroom door in their faces and lock it.

"I'm sorry I messed." Ethan says quietly.

"It's okay, I do this a lot. I'm not exactly a clean makeup artist." I smile at him, hoping that it will calm his nerves.

"What next?"

~~~

"I now present to you, me with beautiful makeup on." I shout as I walk to Damiano and Thomas, with Ethan trailing behind me.

They both inspect my face with such confidence that they'll find something wrong, but obviously they didn't find anything.

"No ways he did that." Damiano says.

"Don't be like that dude, he obviously tried hard, well done Ethan, it looks good." Thomas compliments Him.

"Thanks Thomas but, it's not that good."

"Dude, this is better then what I've seen people do." He turns and looks at me, "I hate to admit it but Ethan does a better job at makeup then you."

"Usually I would wanna kill you right now, but right now, I fully agree with you." I say to Thomas. I walk up to him, and pinch his cheek, a little harder then I should, just so he knows I'm a little mad at him.

"Come on Ethan, lets go clean this off my face before my pores are blocked forever."

"Hey, I said I was leaving." I didn't look toward the door of my bedroom, but I knew he was standing there, probably annoyed at my lack of communication.

I reach my arm up, and give him a thumbs up, all while still groaning in pain.

I hear something drop onto the floor, and his footsteps coming closer to me. The bed dips slightly, next to me, so I open my eyes slightly - to see Ethan sitting there with worried eyes.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I have female anatomy Ethan, you can guess." My voice was a lot deeper then usual, and it definitely made my harsh tone sound even worse then it was supposed to be.

"Are you on your bleeding days?" He asks with a slight giggle.

I give him a glare, before shoving my head back into my pillow.

"I'll take that as a yes."

The bed springs back up, as Ethan gets off of it, he walks out the door and down the staircase. I assumed that he left for band practice, but I'm proven wrong when I hear the faint sound of him on the phone.

I couldn't exactly tell you what he was saying, but I think he was canceling band practice, which is stupid because him being here isn't gonna help my cramping, unless he has drugs, then he can stay.

"Alright moody pants, how can I help you."

I hadn't even realized that Ethan had arrived in my room again, until he gave me a shock that knocked me out of my bed.

"What about band practice?"

"It can wait for today, besides I didn't really feel like it anyway."

I watch as he walks over to my bed, and flops down onto it, clearly making himself at home. After a few moments - he peeps his head over the edge of the bed, to look at me sitting on the floor.

"Why are you there, this bed is so much more comfortable then the floor."

"I have a bed bug infestation currently." I stand up, trying to think of how I can get some quiet to deal with my pain alone.

"I brought everything except bug spray."

I quickly turn toward my door, trying to find out where the voice is coming from, when I see Ethan's three band mates standing there, with chocolate, a hot water bottle, movies and snacks.

"What are they doing here!" I shout toward Ethan, showing him that I was angry that he just told his three friends that I'm on my period.

"I needed backup." He shrugs.

"Don't worry, we are all here to help you and spread love and rainbows." Damiano runs up to me and gives me a tight, and unwanted, hug.

The other three people laugh, at the interaction.

"Right, we need to set up downstairs, Damiano, nobody leaves this room until we're done okay?"

"Yes boss!" Damiano's arms were still firmly around me, making it hard to move - which was clearly Ethan's plan all along.

Damiano and I stood in complete silence, for about 15 minutes after the boys left the room. Finally they yelled for Him to let me go, which I was extremely glad about. I barely knew the guy, and I feel physically closer to him then anyone else that I know.

When I run downstairs, I see that Ethan, Vic and Thomas have pushed all the sofas together, and created a bed/fort for us, filled with pillows and blankets.

"Your castle awaits, your highness." Vic holds out her hand to escort me into the fort, but I just slap her hand and walk there on my own.

"So, I'm guessing this is a group thing?"

"You guess right, Torchio." Damiano swings his arm over my shoulder and smiles at me.

They all navigate me to the middle of the bed, and two of them are on either side of me. Vic presses play, and I get passed a hot water bottle by Thomas.

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching movies - we also got our hands on a new movie called "Eternals" thanks to Vic.

At 12am, we had planned to go out with the boys and their partners for a birthday lunch at one of Thomas's favorite restaurants. It was a fancier restaurant, so we had to make sure that we all looked a bit more formal then usual. I decided on a baby blue flowing dress, knowing that it was probably the only dress that would fit over my baby bump. Thomas wore black suit pants, and a baby blue shirt, just so he can match with me. We headed out the door, and made our way to the restaurant.

All throughout the drive baby Raggi was killing me from the inside, she definitely would become a soccer player if she kept up all the kicking, but I stayed silent, and made small conversation with Thomas, knowing that the restaurant was close to our house, and we didn't have much time to talk.

When we arrived, we found everyone was already there, and they all greeted us with cheers and hugs. The girls all came over to me after saying hello, and hugging Thomas, wanting to check on me and see how the baby was, while all the boys hugged me, and said hello to baby Raggi before walking over to Thomas. As soon as the girls put their hands on my stomach, their faces filled with pity, knowing that I was very clearly in pain from all the relentless kicking going on inside of me.

We all sat down after getting our greetings in, most of the attention being on Thomas, but I saw how the girls kept looking over at me, making sure that I was okay.

"So what did you get for your birthday so far, Thomas?" Vic asked, knowing that I had gotten Him a guitar wrapped in a lime green colour - something that he's always wanted but he could never find.

"Well, the most amazing woman, ended up getting me a lime green Gibson Les Paul guitar, and some of my favorite snacks." He smiled proudly.

"A Gibson Les Paul? Aren't those really expensive?" Damiano asks me.

"Yeah, but Thomas has always spoiled me, so I don't see any harm in returning the favor." I smirk at him as he touches his nose.

We all end up ordering our food, and making some more light hearted conversation, and the day is going pretty well, until I end up yelling at the fact that I think Thomas's kid just fractured my rib.

"You okay, baby?" He asks me, I try to answer, but the fact is that I'm in too much pain to do anything.

"Is she seriously kicking that hard?" Giorgia rushes out of her seat and kneels down beside my chair, putting her hand on my stomach, making sure that her suspicions are correct. "Thomas, I think you might need to take her to the hospital, that baby is kicking like mad, and I don't know if she'll stop anytime soon."

As soon as Giorgia suggests this, I snap out of my pain filled haze.

"No, don't be silly, I'm fine, she just kicked a bit to hard on that one."

"How long has she been kicking like this?" Thomas puts his hand on my stomach, and his eyes widen as he feels the baby kicking his hand.

"Since 3am." I say quietly.

"3am? Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you."

"I just didn't want to ruin your birthday, I'm sure she'll be okay soon, she just excited." I sigh.

"Y/n, I don't think Thomas would mind if you told him that, especially if you're in pain." Ethan furrows his eyebrows at me.

"I would never mind." Thomas says.

"Then I guess I should be honest, she's been kicking me relentlessly and I'm pretty sure that she fractured one of my ribs with that last kick."

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" Thomas asks, worry filling his face.

"If it's not too much to ask." His worried face turns into happiness as I finally accept the help that he's been offering for months.

"Right, sorry to cut this short, but I promise we'll do this again one day. Got to get my lady to the hospital, here's some cash for our lunches, if one of you can just get it in a take out box, I'll fetch it later and we'll have it then."

"Go dude, I'll pay for your meals," Damiano says, waving us off, telling us to not worry about what would happen with our food.

Unfortunately, the rest of Thomas's birthday, was spent in the hospital, fortunately, he ended up getting a newborn as the result of the hospital visit.