#mammon devilgram

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Beelzeburger: I asked for souvenirs.

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*Demon Lord’s Castle grand hall*

Mammon: *grimaces, shaking head nervously* Wow, so many people. 

Satan: *nods* Everywhere I look, the next person is more famous than the last. 

Belphie: *sighs with slumped shoulders, pouting* This wedding ceremony is the worst... I’m so nervous I can’t eat at all.

Satan: Let’s just try not to stand out and quickly get through this night. 

Mammon: *grimly* For once, I agree with you... 

Mammon: *sidles closer, expression a little pensive* ...Hey, Chise. Look at the couple. They look so happy... *frowns thoughtfully* I wonder what it’s like to be married...

Mammon: ...What do you think it’d be like if you and I got married?

I think every day would be a lot of fun.

Mammon: *grins cheerfully, chuckling* Yeah, me too. I never get bored around you. 

–

2. We’d fight all the time.

Mammon: *somber* Right? We’d argue so much. *laughs softly, smiling* But, that could be fun too, right?

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Mammon: *pensive* Now that I think about it...marriage might not be such a bad thing after all. 

I can’t imagine you getting married to someone.

Mammon: *brows draw together a little sadly* Right? Me neither. 

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2. Do you want to get married?

Mammon: *looks aside with a blush* W-Well...before I didn’t...want to... But now...I guess...I’m thinking that I...might want to someday.

Mammon: *meets eyes with a quiet noise of affection, expression soft and wanting* If it’s with you...

Mammon: *closes eyes, shaking head in embarrassment* ...N-Never mind! Ignore that! Forget it!

–

Belphie: *chuckles quietly, smiling cutely* In that case, what do you think it’d be like to marry me? 

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L3V1: I can imagine what married life...

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Belphie: *smiles sincerely, humming softly with his thoughts* If we got married...I’m sure I’d sleep in all the time and you’d come to wake me up.

How’s that any different from now?

Belphie: *raises brows in surprise* …True. 

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2. I’d wake you up gently.

Belphie: *soft, happy chuckle, eyes crinkling at the thought* I’d wake up on the right side of bed every morning if the first thing I saw was you... 

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Belphie: *happy noise, holding eye contact with a longing smile* We’d go to bed together and then when I’d wake up, you’d be there. You’d be the last thing I see before I shut my eyes and the first thing I see when I open them... 

Belphie: *eyes crinkle again with another soft chuckle, lifting one shoulder bashfully* ...I like the thought of that. That makes me wanna get married.

Belphie: *makes eye contact again, softly cheerful* So, what do you say? Should we get married, Chise?

Sure, why not?

Belphie: Hm? *attentive, eager* Really? I’m serious, you know. *smile widens happily* I’ll definitely make you happy. 

Mammon: *butts in with an outraged scowl* D’AAAH! There’s no way you two are getting married! That’s ridiculous!

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2. You shouldn’t say such things so lightheartedly, you know.

Belphie: *looks down in hurt disappointment, a bit pouty* I’m not asking just for fun...

Satan: *sighs heavily with a shake of his head* Stop putting Chise in an awkward position.

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Satan: *touches chin thoughtfully, growing pensive* Marriage, huh... I’ve never even considered getting married before... 

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LordDiavolo: Looks like you're having fun.

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Satan: *hums thoughtfully with a smile, making eye contact* What do you think marrying someone like me would be like? *laughs sheepishly, dipping head bashfully* I bet you’d come to me angry about reading books all day instead of spending time with you.

Sounds about right.

Satan: *laughs cheerfully, eyes crinkling* Heh. I can picture it already. *sincere eye contact* That could be fun, though. 

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2. That’s just who you are.

Satan: *lifts chin with a cheerful laugh, eyes crinkling* Can I take that to mean you’re accepting me as I am? 

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Satan: *touches chest, smiling* There is one thing I can say for sure, though. If we’d get married, I’m sure life would be very peaceful. *eyes crinkle, genuine* I wouldn’t have a care in the world. 

I feel the same way.

Satan: *laughs bashfully, sincerely pleased* Yeah? That’s good... *affection eye contact* I think we’d do well if we married. 

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2. I like shaking things up every once in a while.

Satan: *chuckles, eyes soft* Heh. Is the simple life too boring for you? Let’s mix things up a little sometimes.

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*applause sounds out*

Mammon: *eyes widen, perplexed* W-What’s happening? Everyone’s started gathering for something.

Belphie: *serious* The bride is about to throw the bouquet... 

Satan: *nods, touching chin with a frown* They say whoever catches it will be the next one to get married... 

Mammon: *jumps with wide eyes* Huuuh?! *FIERCE burning eyes, with jaw-clenching challenge* That bouquet is mine.

Belphie: *shakes head, eyes flat* In your dreams.

Satan: Hmph. *nods grimly* You all look pretty serious about this. I’m in.

Guys, stop it.

Mammon: *glares* The fight…

Belphie: *glares* …for Chise… 

Satan: *glares* …is on!

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2. Well, then I wanna join too!

Mammon: *flatly* Even if I’m up against you, I won’t give up! 

Satan: *flatly* The bouquet is mine.

Belphie: *flatly* Once it’s mine, I’m not letting go. 

–

*whoosh through air*

Mammon: *eyes widen* Here it comes! Haah...!

Satan: *pissed scowl of determination* Out of my way!

*crunch* *camera shake*

Mammon: Ouch! *sulks* Don’t step on me!

Belphie: *glowers* It’s mine!

*SMACK* *camera shake*

Mammon: *glaring* ARGH!

Satan: *thunderous* NNGAAH!

Belphie: *enraged* GRRRR!

*fwump* *camera shake*

Satan: *eyes widen in shock* Huh…?

Mammon: *eyes widen in shock* All four of us...

Belphie: *eyes widen in shock* ...caught it at the same time...

Satan: *scowls*  It’s mine!

Mammon: *scowls* No, mine!

Belphie: *scowls, shaking head* Give it to me!

I don’t care anymore.

Satan: *scowls, shaking head* Let go!

Mammon: *glares* No, YOU let go!

Belphie: *grunts, pissy* Don’t pull on my clothes...

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2. I’m not letting go!

Satan: HEY! *glare of outrage* No grabbing hands! 

Mammon: *glares right back* Stop shoving me in the face then! 

Belphie: Nk! *scowls* Stop kicking me!

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*SLAP* *KICK* *PUNCH*

*camera shaking*

Mammon: *gasps in horror* Hey! The bouquet... 

Satan: *expression falls* It’s been torn apart...

Belphie: *winces* Ah...! That’s got to be bad luck for sure...

Mammon: *wide-eyed* H-Hey... I think everyone’s starin’ at us.

Satan: *sighs with a grimace, looking down in embarrassment* This is...awkward...

Belphie: …*simply sighs* *doomed resignation*

……*dreadful time skip*……

……*fade to HOL dining room*……

Lucifer: *enveloped in a dark, ominous miasma*

Lucifer: *eyes flat, absolutely PISSED* 

Lucifer: *FIERCE scowling* You…! 

*crack of lighting, THUNDER noises*

Lucifer: *arms crossed, yelling* I warned you loud and clear not to make a scene while at the wedding! Yet, here you all are acting like a bunch of delinquents! Every time I leave you unattended you always find a way to cause trouble... 

Mammon: *shoulders slouch in fearful dismay* Why...

Satan: *sighs heavily, looking down with a shake of his head* ...did it turn into this...?

Belphie: *sighs as well, pouting* This sucks...

End.

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Text chat: A Funny Show (from The Fantastic Three(3))

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Lucifer: Forgive me, Lord Diavolo.

Lucifer: I heard about the scene they caused during the bouquet toss.

Diavolo: Yes. It was quite the sight.

Diavolo: I've never seen everyone get so excited over a single bouquet of flowers. It was quite interesting.

Barbatos: The newlyweds even seemed to enjoy it quite a lot.

Lucifer: Watching that pathetic fight?

Diavolo: It was quite a good show.

Diavolo: It's been a while since I laughed that much.

Barbatos: When everyone finally realized that the flowers ended up scattered everywhere during their brawl, their faces were priceless.

Diavolo: Yes, that was hilarious.

Diavolo: Everyone had a good laugh.

Diavolo: Was that your idea?

Lucifer: No, not at all.

Diavolo: I had no idea you had such a good eye for comedy.

Diavolo: There's a party next week. Can you think of something for then, too?

Diavolo: Something that would make everyone laugh, please.

Barbatos: I'm looking forward to your next show.

Lucifer: Okay.

Lucifer: I don't know what exactly I'm getting myself into...

Lucifer: ...but I suppose I'll invite them along again.

–

2. Maybe try acting like bunnies?

Levi: *tilts head curiously* Well, there are theories that rabbits get lonely easily.

Mammon: So we should try to be all needy and attention-seekin’? *shudders, grimacing* ...Gives me chills just thinkin’ about it.

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Mammon: Buttering people up just ain’t me!

Levi: *shakes head* Yeah, I don’t think I could do it if I tried. *sulks* Besides, nobody wants to see neediness from me.

Mammon: Ah, new customers! Back to work, I guess.

Levi: *shakes head* Never mind the cutesy stuff. We’re probably not cut out for it anyway. *smiles, waves* Later, Chise.

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Angeluke: There were ears like that?!

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*whimsical forest town*

Mammon: You said ya had somethin’ for us, Chise?

*hands ‘em over*

Levi: *confused* Bunny ear headbands? *smiles* Wow, so the Patchwork Rabbit made these for us?

Mammon: But we already have bunny ears, don’t we?

These ones are special.

Levi: Hmm… *doubtful* They don’t look much different to me.

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2. You’ll know when you put them on.

Mammon: *suspicious* Somethin’ ain’t right about this... *shrugs* Well, guess we gotta try ’em to find out.

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*puts ‘em on*

Mammon: *frowns* …Like this?

Levi: I don’t feel any different... 

Mammon: …

Levi: … 

Mammon: *frustrated growl* Nothin’s happenin’!

Levi: *gasps, betrayed* Don’t tell me you pulled a fast one on us, Chise!

Mammon: ...Hm? *eyes widen* Wait, hold on... Somethin’s kinda...tingly? *covers mouth, self-conscious* It’s almost like...I’m itchin’ to do something?

Levi: Yeah, I feel strange too. Like, I feel so...incredibly...needy?!

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ButlerBarb: Serving entails hard work.

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Levi: *horrified* What the heck is this?! What did you do?!

Looks like the magic finally kicked in.

Mammon: So, the ears were magic, huh? *grimaces* So that’s why I’m starvin’ for affection right now...

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2. Now you should be able to do cute service.

Levi: *frustrated growl, squirmy* Ngnnnh... I can’t fight it!

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Mammon: Are you seriously telling us to go do that “cute service” thing like this?!

Levi: *shakes head in horror* No way! This is like nightmare level difficulty!

Have fun, you two!

Levi: Ice cold. Lmao.

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2. Uh oh, looks like we’ve got some regulars coming in.

Mammon: *resigned sigh* ...We’re not gettin’ outta this, are we?

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Mammon: *growls* Fine. Let’s do this!

Levi: *sulkily hides face under fringe, blushing deeply* Yeah, let’s just get it over with...! 

*fade back to Matter Hatter’s café themed room*

*clatter*

Mammon: *eeps* Whoops, I dropped a spoon...! *squirms shyly* Hey, um, Mr. Customer. Could you pwetty pwease get that for me?

Levi: *gasps, wide-eyed* We got your order wrong? I-I’m so sorry! We’ll get it fixed up right away...! *smiles adorably* ...But, um, that drink is reeeeaally good, so why don’t you give it a try anyways? *squees, happy bouncing* Oh, you like it? It’s so good you don’t even want to change it? Th-Thank you very much!

Mammon: *sulks at the ground, blushing* Damn, these bunny ears have got me acting out of control...! 

Levi: *squirms, hiding blush* Ngh... I can’t control my impulses to act needy!

Mammon: *looks up, demanding, red-faced* Hey, you! Yeah, you! Come pat my head!

Levi: *adorably wide-eyed, blushing* I-It’s not like I’m acting this way because I l-like you or anything...! 

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Belphie: You still went along with it.

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Mammon: *glumly* Is it just me, or are we gettin’ better reactions than normal?

Levi: *exhausted* Yeah, it feels like people have been asking for us nonstop.

Mammon, someone’s asking for you!

Mammon: *perks up, grinning* All right, let’s keep the money flowin’, baby!

Mammon: *coyly* Hey there, buddy. Ya wanna try the richest drink in the cellar? It’s top stuff, I guarantee it. How ’bout it? *grins, happy sparkles* Thanks so much for the order, buddy! Say, you’re gonna want a dessert with that too, right?

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2. Levi, someone’s asking for you!

Levi: ...Huh? *gasps, wide-eyed shock* Wait, is that Ruri-chan merch?! A-Are you a fan of hers, too?! *adorable, beaming smile of excitement* Oh my gosh, so am I! *bounces, happy sparkles, grinning* Let’s say it together! Ruri Hana! Ru-Ru Ruri!

Levi: *gaaaasps, jaw drops* Wait, what’s that? Could it be...the exclusive final prize from the latest Ruri-chan raffle?! *looks aside* Man, I wanted that so badly...! *jumps in shock, wide-eyed* What? You’d really give it to me?! *excited babbling, elated sparkles* Th-Thank you so much!

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Mammon: *running around* Hold on, we’ll get to all of ya, one at a time!

Levi: *grins, waves* I heard you! I’m coming right over!

*fade to whimsical forest town*

Levi: *huffs* Phew... It’s finally over... 

Mammon: *smiling proudly* Did ya hear? Today’s sales were the best in the café’s history!

You guys did great!

Mammon: *bursts into cheery laughter, grinning wide* Hell yeah we did! We made a killin’ out there!

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2. The magic really worked!

Levi: *sulky glare* Would it kill you to praise us instead?!

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Mammon: *hides flirtatious smirk behind fingers* We worked our butts off. Don’t ya think we’ve earned a reward?

Levi: *pouty, pleading* Come on, Chise… 

You can act all needy towards me too.

Levi: *gasps* *laughs happily, grinning* That’s the line I’ve been waiting for!

Mammon: *grins with excitement* Oh yeah! Ya better spoil us rotten!

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2. Is there something you want?

Mammon: *pouty* It ain’t a “something” we’re talkin’ about here. Think about the situation!

Levi: *pleading* We wanna act needy around you too.

Mammon: *glares, hands on hips, demanding* Yeah! Spoil us!

2. A) I was hoping you’d say that.

Mammon: *drops eye contact, pouty blush* Seriously? You wanted to make us say it?

Levi: *hides face behind hands, squeezing eyes shut, blushing deeply* You just wanted to hear us beg, didn’t you?! That’s so mean! But also pretty cute in its own right!

2. B) Just for today, okay?

Levi: *grins excitedly, bouncing on heels, happy sparkles* Thanks, Chise. 

Mammon: *flirty smirk* Oh, you’re in for it now.

–

Mammon: ...*grows serious, side-eyeing Levi* I contributed the most toward the sales, so I get the most attention, right?

Levi: *smiles threateningly, shaking head* What? No way! That right belongs to me!

Mammon: *scowls darkly* No, me!

Levi: *glares right back* Forget it! The extra attention is all mine!

End.

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Text chat: Needy Little Brothers (from Brothers Under a Pact(4))

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Levi: 😮‍💨

Levi: The spell from the bunny ears finally wore off.

Mammon: Forget everything you saw yesterday, ya hear?!

But you guys were so cute!

Mammon: 😑

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2. I took some pictures.

Levi: 😨

Mammon: 🤯

Mammon: Delete them! NOW!

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Levi: At the very least, you should have put those bunny ears on yourself.

Levi: I'm pretty sure it would have been WAY more effective with your looks and charm...

Levi: 😢

Beel: Chise, I just bought some bunny-shaped madeleines.

Beel: Wanna come eat them with me?

🤤🍽️

Beel: OK! 👍

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2. Yes!!! 💪

Beel: 🥳🥳

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Mammon: Beel doesn't even have to wear bunny ears. He gets to act like a kid around Chise as much as he wants.

Levi: It honestly makes me jealous.

Mammon: *frowns* Where’d THAT even come from?! If ya ask me, he’s secretly evil underneath that smile!

Simeon: *patient smile* I’m sure his smile is genuine. Trust me, angels are good at identifying virtue in a person.

Mammon: *hands on hips* And demons can straight up tell ya when people are bad! Which one of us is right, Chise?!

I haven’t the faintest idea...

Mammon: Ugh, dammit!

–

2. I can’t say for sure.

Simeon: *grimace* You’re right. Sorry for putting you on the spot like that…

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Angeluke: You care about it that much?

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Simeon: *uncertain* We could spend an eternity debating this, but there’s no way of knowing when the person in question isn’t even here. Although, it’s not as if we can ask him this sort of thing to his face either…

Mammon: Okay, fine. I’ll prove it to ya.

Simeon: *nervous* Prove…? Whatever are you planning?

You’re not going to prank him, are you?

Mammon: ‘Course not! I ain’t that kinda guy!

–

2. I’m intrigued...

Simeon: *alarmed guilt* Not you too, Chise!

Mammon: Relax, it’s just a li’l experiment.

–

Mammon: Listen, I came across a grimoire in this house that I know Solomon’s been itchin’ to read. So, we’re gonna call him over and tell him that the book’s headed for the castle, and we need him to keep an eye on it for a while. *smirk, snicker* We’ll also warn him that Lucifer ordered us not to open it. If he ignores our warning and takes a peek, then that means he’s actually morally corrupt at the core.

Simeon: *reserved sigh* I’ll be honest… I’m not a huge fan of that idea. Besides, ‘morally corrupt’ doesn’t seem like the right word to me.

Mammon: *glares* Argh, this is why I hate angels!

I’m with you, Simeon.

Simeon: *appreciative smile* Right? It’s just…

Mammon: H-Hey! Stop lookin’ at me like that!

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2. Well, that seems pretty harmless.

Mammon: Exactly! C’mon, what are we waitin’ for?!

Simeon: *aghast* Chise…!

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Mammon: Doncha wanna know the truth, though?

Simeon: *wilts* Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t… *saddens* Solomon doesn’t really talk about himself that much, after all… Regardless, I’d like to be his friend, no matter what kind of person he is. In that sense, I do want to learn more about him.

I feel you. Simeon.

Simeon: *sweet chuckle* Thank you. I’m glad you understand. *smiles, touches back of neck, eye contact* I’d like to know more about you too, you know.

Mammon: Hey, what about me?!

Simeon: *patient chuckle* I know you well enough, Mammon.

–

2. You’re so kind, Simeon.

Simeon: *bashful chuckle* Not necessarily. I just want to become better friends with Solomon, that’s all.

–

Mammon: Hmph! So, what’s it gonna be?! I’m goin’ ahead with my plan, with or without ya. If you’re not interested, then get lost.

Simeon: …All right, Mammon. I’ll see this through to the end.

Mammon: …Heh, whatever. And you, Chise?

Of course I’m in!

Mammon: *smirk* Sure ya are! Ya wanna know what he’ll do, right?

–

2. I need to rein you in if you lose control.

Mammon: *grumpy glare* Hey, who says I’m gonna lose control?! Whatever. Follow me if you’re in on this.

–

Mammon: Aight, time to call Solomon!

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ButlerBarb: How will Solomon react?

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*HOL library*

Solomon: Chise, Mammon…? What’s wrong? You said it was urgent.

Mammon: So, the thing is…

Solomon: *gasps, eyes widen* Wait, that grimoire…!

Mammon: Hm? Somethin’ wrong?

Solomon: *smiles, little head shake* It’s just that I’ve been wanting to read that for some time.

Mammon: *grins, happy sparkle effect* What, THIS thing? Awww man, I didn’t know!

Mammon, be a little more subtle!

Mammon: *jump* Huh…? Oh…Ahem! I had no idea.

Solomon: *amused laughter* What a coincidence.

–

2. Is this grimoire really powerful or something?

Solomon: *head shake* Not necessarily…but it does contain information I’m interested in. *wistful sigh* I’ve been looking for it for a long time without any luck… 

–

Mammon: D’ya wanna read it?

Solomon: *smiles pleasantly* Yes, I do. Will you let me?

Mammon: *hides snicker behind hand* *clears throat* Weeelllll… See, I can’t do that.

Solomon: *blinks in confusion* Really? Why not?

Mammon: To tell the truth, we’re bringin’ this grimoire to the Demon Lord Castle for Lord Diavolo. Anyway, Lucifer told us to keep an eye on it in the meantime in case someone tries to steal it.

Solomon: *soft pout* Is it really that valuable…?

Mammon: Uh, er… It IS to the Demon Lord’s Castle!

Solomon: *disappointed* I see…

Mammon: But the thing is, Chise and I actually got some stuff to do…

Solomon: *raises brows* What kind of stuff…?

Please don’t ask…

Solomon: *getting increasingly amused* Now I’m even more curious. Are you going on a date, perhaps?

Mammon: Wha…?! *squirms in embarrassment, avoiding eye contact* ‘Course not! We’re just gonna run some errands, that’s all!

–

2. We were asked to go buy a few things.

Solomon: Is that so…?

Mammon: Y-Yeah! The stuff we’ve gotta get is important too!

–

Solomon: *pleasant smile* All right. In that case, why don’t I watch over the grimoire while you’re away?

Mammon: *eager grin* For real?! Ya just saved our bacon! Thanks!

Solomon: *confused frown* But…why me? Surely, there are other people you could have asked…

Mammon: *flusters* Um…I…uh…

You’re the most trustworthy person we know!

Solomon: *chuckle, fond smile* That’s very nice of you. I’m flattered. *sweet* I’ll do my best to live up to your expectations, of course. The grimoire will be safe with me.

–

2. They all said they were busy!

Solomon: I see… How odd that they would all have plans on the same day.

Mammon: Guh…! It’s just one of those days, haha!

Solomon: *uncertain* But you know, I met Asmodeus in the hallway just now, and he didn’t look very busy to me…

Mammon: Oh, somethin’ came up after ya parted ways with him! He just sent me a message.

Solomon: I see. *smiles* I suppose it can’t be helped then. I’ll make sure to keep an eye on this book, so rest assured it’ll be safe in my care.

–

Mammon: *grins* You’re a lifesaver, Solomon! We’re countin’ on ya. Oh, wait… I almost forgot. Lucifer mentioned that we’re not allowed to open the book under any circumstances.

Solomon: *raises brows* What…? How come?

Mammon: *shrug* Beats me. He didn’t say why, but he made sure to hammer that point home. If anyway opens the book, I’ll be the one to pay for it, so make sure ya keep that thing shut, okay? I’m countin’ on ya!

Solomon: *sweet smile, nod* Understood. I won’t open it then.

Mammon: *nods back* Good. Thanks, Solomon!

*fade to HOL hallway*

Mammon: *grinning wide* All right… That takes care of the setup.

I feel kinda bad.

Mammon: It’s too late for that now! Ain’t no going back anymore! All that’s left is to monitor him.

–

2. I wonder what he’ll do with it.

Mammon: My money’s on him openin’ the book. Mammon: Anyway, this is where things start gettin’ interestin’.

–

Mammon: Let’s join up with Simeon and let the camera do the rest. *smirk, snickers eagerly* We’ll monitor things from there.

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LordDiavolo: That’s very like him.

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*Levi’s bedroom*

Simeon: You’re back!

Mammon: *nod* Well? How’s it lookin’?

Simeon: *soft guilt* Nothing suspicious yet.

Levi: *flat expression, surly* Why’d you have to do this in MY room, anyway?!

Mammon: *glowers* It’s not like we got a choice! You’re the only one with a computer.

Levi: *glares* You’re using my camera too, in case you forgot!

Mammon: Will ya just shaddup?! Be quiet and go play a game or somethin’!

Levi: *pinched lips, pissy* EXCUSE me?! Also, stop messing with my computer!

Mammon: *rolls eyes* Yeah, yeah, whatever… 

Simeon: *wilts, sighs* This feels wrong…

Mammon: Are ya still hung up on that? Betcha Solomon’s gonna reveal his true colours in no time. You’ll see.

*time skip*

One hour later…

Simeon: *soft, pleased laughter, eyes gleaming* He’s done all but open the book. Isn’t this proof enough for you?

Mammon: Ngh…!

Just give it a bit more time!

Mammon: *dejected* Nah, I don’t think there’s any point in waitin’ any longer…

–

2. It looks like Simeon was right.

Mammon: *scowls* Argh, dammit! Fine! I ain’t ready to throw in the towel yet, though! If we’d waited just a couple more minutes, we could’ve had him!

–

Simeon: *upbeat, smiling, happy sparkle effect* Let’s go back to Solomon!

*fade to HOL library*

Simeon: *beaming smile* Solomon!

Solomon: *straightens, taken aback* Huh…? Simeon? Mammon and Chise too? What are you all doing here?

Simeon: *joyous sparkle, laughing, smiling* I knew you had a good soul, Solomon!

So did I!

Solomon: *perplexed* …Soul? What do you mean?

Simeon: *happy chuckling, eyes sparkling* Nothing, it’s not important. Just know that I’m incredibly proud of you!

Solomon: *confused, pleased smile* You are…? I’m not sure I follow, but thank you, I guess.

–

2. That just sounds weird when said out of the blue.

Simeon: Oh, good point…

Solomon: *soft, concerned frown* Are you all right, Simeon? You’re acting rather strangely.

Simeon: *wince, head shake* Sorry! Ignore me!

–

Simeon: You don’t have to guard the grimoire anymore.

Solomon: *smiles* I guess that means my job here is done. Here you go, Mammon.

Mammon: *sulky* R-Right, thanks…

Solomon: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have business with Lucifer. *affectionate smile, eyes crinkle* Oh, Chise, text me when you’re ready to head back. We can go home together. I’ll see you around.

*Solomon leaves*

Mammon: …Dammit! I’m sure he would’ve opened it if only we’d waited a bit longer.

Simeon: *happy, relieved laughter* Don’t be a sore loser, Mammon. Solomon just proved that he doesn’t have an evil bone in his body. By the way…what’s written inside that grimoire?

Mammon: Oh, this? *shrug* It’s a handbook for Lucifer’s beloved dog, Cerberus. It’s got all sorts of stuff in it, like the mutt’s weaknesses, favourite foods, and how to summon or tame him.

Simeon: *perplexed* Interesting… Why in the world would Solomon be interested in a book like that, though?

Mammon: *shrug, head shake* Who knows? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. *scowl* I swear I’ll catch him in the act next time!

*time skip*

*fade to Devildom streets*

Solomon: I’m peckish. Why don’t we eat something before heading home? *smiles happily* I have to say, though, I had a very fulfilling day today. I owe it all to Lucifer.

What are you talking about?

Solomon: Hm? About Lucifer’s pet, of course. I discovered a lot of things about it today.

–

2. By the way, what business did you have with him?

Solomon: Oh, that. I went to see his pet, to be more specific.

–

Solomon: *eyes gleam* I’m the type of person who likes to put their knowledge to the test immediately. How could I not after learning all those things about Cerberus, like how to tame or summon him?

Did you read the grimoire?

Solomon: *head shake* Oh, no. I guarded it and kept it shut, just like I was told to.

2. How do you know all that?

Solomon: It was written in the grimoire. *sweetly* Oh, but I never opened it, so don’t worry. No promises were broken. 

–

Solomon: *amused hum, winks* But…you already know all that, don’t you, Chise?

Wh-What do you mean?!

Solomon: Haha! That’s strange. I could have sworn you were watching me. *mischievous gleam* Nah, it couldn’t be. You can’t have been surveilling me from Leviathan’s room for a whole hour, right? That’s just absurd.

–

2. You knew everything all along?!

Solomon: *chuckles, smiling* Know what? Haha, I have no idea what you’re talking about!

–

Solomon: Do you want to know how I was able to learn the contents of that book without opening it?

Yes!

Solomon: *good-natured nod* I’ll tell you then. This is our little secret. There’s a spell that allowed me to learn the contents of a book simply by touching its cover, although the results vary based on the language it’s written in. Anyway, that’s what I used today. *amused chuckle* It doesn’t seem so impressive once you know how it’s done, does it?

–

2. Keep your secrets.

Solomon: *pouts* Are you sure? I don’t mind telling you specifically how I did it… *smiles* Oh, well. I suppose some things are better left unknown.

–

Solomon: *chuckles* I must say, Simeon and Mammon come up with the most interesting ideas. All that just to find out what kind of person I am? *soft eye contact* However, I hope you’ll trust me when I say… I’m a gentle and peace-loving human being.

Of course I trust you!

Solomon: *happy sparkle effect, overjoyed smile* I trust you too, Chise.

–

2. How much do you know about this, exactly?!

Solomon: *cheery laughter, eyes crinkle* How much? I wonder. Who knows?

--------

Text chat: A Once-in-a-Lifetime Request (from Mammon)

--------

Mammon: Please, Chise! Do me a favour just this once!

No. You’ve said that a million times already.

Mammon: 😵

2. I’m not lending you any money.

Mammon: 🤯

Mammon: What are ya, a psychic?!

–

Mammon: I ain’t askin’ for much, I swear! You care about me, doncha?

That has nothing to do with this.

Mammon: 😭

2. Not really.

Mammon: Aw, c’mon. No need to be shy.

Mammon: I guess I shouldn’t have bought all 66 volumes of that manga for half-price…

Mammon: …then gone and bought a Pad Six—that electrical stimulation machine that’s s’posed to give ya abs—for 60 percent off.

Can I use the stay command on you now?

Do you think “stay” works over the phone too?

Mammon: 😰

Levi: *glares sulkily back* Hey! You poured Mammon a cup! Why not me?! That’s not fair! You’re playing favourites!

Lucifer: I have a rule: I’ll do someone a favour, but only one request is allowed.

Levi: *slumps* Hmph. That’s the first I’ve ever heard of your rule...

––––––––

LordDiavolo: Well, I'm gla...

––––––––

Levi: ...Grrah! *beams happily at the sound of a victory ding* HAH!

Mammon: *glares with a noise of irritation* Ya know Levi, every time you hit a button on that controller of yours, you let out a grunt. Quit it. It’s REALLY annoyin’. I’d just gotten to a really funny part in this manga, and now you’ve gone and ruined the moment.

Levi: *glares darkly from under his fringe* Excuse me?! Why don’t you go read your manga in your OWN room then?

Mammon: *scowls* Don’t wanna. This couch is more comfortable than sittin’ in my room. You should be the one to leave. Go to your room and play games there!

Levi: *scowls right back, tensions escalating* Well I don’t feel like going to my room, either. And my connection speed is better here than in my room.

Lucifer: *sets down coffee with a heavy sigh* Listen, both of you… *crosses arms with a shake of his head, glaring daggers* If you don’t stop this racket, I’m going to cut you both up and fashion your parts into chess pieces for this board here.

Levi: *wide-eyed* Aw…

*time skip*

Lucifer: *expressionlessly sets down mug again, sound of him turning on a burner* …

Mammon: *grinning* I can’t believe he just said that!

Levi: *laughs as victory dinging plays* ...HAH! Boom! Take that!

Lucifer: *sluuuurp* … *sets down mug, begins to pour*

Mammon: *looks over at Lucifer* Lucifer, while you’re at it, pour—

Mammon (to himself): (*stops, wide-eyed* D’ah! The coffee pot...it’s empty!)

Lucifer: *turns to look at Mammon with a noise of inquiry* Did you say something, Mammon?

Mammon: *shakes head quickly* Uh, no. Nothin’…

Levi (to himself): (*sighs* Liar. *sulky frown* He was about to ask Lucifer to pour him another cup of coffee. But he knows Lucifer would say…)

*flashback fade to Lucifer standing creepily against a pure black background*

Lucifer: *arms crossed, smirking smugly* Oh dear, it looks like we’re all OUT of coffee. If you want another cup, you’ll have to go make another pot.

*fade back to present*

Levi (to himself): (*sulky grumbling* So Mammon pretended not to notice the pot was empty!)

Mammon (to himself): (*shakes head in irritation* Tsk! Dammit Lucifer…)

Levi (to himself): (*glaring from the corner of his eye* He filled his cup alllll the way up, until it nearly overflowed...)

Both Mammon and Levi, to themselves: (He totally emptied the pot on purpose!)

Lucifer: *chuckles to himself* *happily sips his coffee*

––––––––

Beelzeburger: Shall I eat...

––––––––

Mammon (to himself): (The next person who wants a cup of coffee is gonna have to go into the kitchen and make a new pot. *scowls* But I’M not budging! I’m staying right here!)

Levi (to himself): (*hiding his pissy expression behind his sleeve, glaring at his brothers* I know Lucifer and Mammon have no intention of making a new pot either, but NO ONE is more serious about it than me! I’m NOT doing it! Because I’M the one who made the LAST pot! 

Levi (still to himself): (*narrows his eyes with a little growl* And those two drank it without even asking if it was okay. So this time it’s their turn to make coffee for me!) 

*time skip*

Levi: *smiling happily* *sip sip sip* …

Mammon (to himself): (*grumpy scowl* Look at Levi over there, nursing his coffee like that... He’s tryin’ to work it so that either Lucifer or I run out first, ain’t he?)

Lucifer: *nods serenely, unreadable* Levi, Mammon, I apologize for snapping at you earlier. Here, let me make it up to you. *smiles sweetly, expression deeply affectionate* I bought these ultra-sweet scones from Madam Scream’s intending to eat them all by myself, but I’d like to share them with you two instead.

*unwrapping of a wrapper*

Mammon & Levi, to themselves: (*glaring dourly* Oh no, I’m not falling for that!)

Mammon (to himself): (If you’re gonna eat something that sweet, ya NEED a cup of coffee to go with it!)

Levi (to himself): (*pouts* And it’ll make your mouth all dry, too.)

Mammon & Levi, to themselves: (No way I’m getting anywhere near that scone...!)

*time skip*

Levi: *slurping determinedly* …

Mammon (to himself): (Grrr...I can’t take this anymore!)

Mammon: *scowls bossily* Hey…Levi! Stop sitting there nursin’ that coffee of yours like it’s the last cup you’ll ever have. Get off your butt and go make a new pot! NOW!

Levi: *jumps in his place, eyes widening in disbelief* EXCUSE ME?! *immediate glowering* Why don’t YOU go do it, Mammon? Your cup has been empty so long that there’s nothing left but a sticky, nasty residue!

Mammon: *snickers behind his hand* Heh heh. Not that I’m braggin’ here, but I’ve never made a pot of coffee myself.

Levi: *shakes head in exasperation* Yeah, that really isn’t something to brag about… *perks up, alert, with a wide grin* It’s easy, I’ll teach you how. First you toss out the used grounds and rinse the coffee maker. Then you add another filter, fresh grounds, and water. Then just hit the switch and it’ll start to drip.

Mammon: *noise of dismissal* Pff! What a hassle. Ya know, come to think of it, Lucifer drank the last of the coffee, didn’t he? So he should be the one to go make a new pot, doncha think?

Levi: *frowns, nodding* Yeah, you're right! He should! *grumbly grumpiness* I mean, that’s how it works with toilet paper, right? Everyone knows that the person who uses the last of it has to add a new roll. It’s common sense.

Lucifer: …

Both Mammon & Levi, shouting together: Don’t fake like you’re asleep!

––––––––

monSOLO: Who will favor be...

––––––––

Lucifer: *grunts in irritation, scowling* Well, you two certainly are being loud. Are you that determined to have me make chess pieces out of you?

Levi: *half-hiding face behind sleeve for bravery* I-I’m not going to let you intimidate me like that anymore! Lucifer, go make another pot of coffee!

Lucifer: *expression softens, smiles sweetly with a chuckle* Sure. I wouldn’t mind doing that. But I seem to recall that a certain two demons once made a huge fuss about how the coffee I made was so strong that it wasn’t fit to drink. Now who were they again?

Levi (to himself): (*eyes widen* Ooh…)

Mammon (to himself): (*looks aside with a wince* I do sorta remember something like that...)

Levi: *hides face behind sleeve AND fringe* But, if you realize that your coffee was too strong, you should make it weaker this time, shouldn’t you? Since that’s what everyone wants. You didn’t have any problem with the coffee I made, and it wasn’t that strong.

Lucifer: *nods affably, smiling so kindly in understanding* Well, I admit that there is some logic to that. In that case, let’s make this fair. We’ll flip a coin. 

Mammon: *nods seriously* You’re on.

Levi: *nods with a grimace* Okay, let’s do it.

Mammon (to himself): (*smirks* Now that I think about it, this is my chance to finally make Lucifer have to serve ME. Whatever side of the coin he chooses, I’m going with the flip side!)

Levi (to himself): (*smiles cheerfully* This has to be some kind of trick... Lucifer’s going to do something to make sure he wins, so I’d better choose whatever side of the coin he does!)

Mammon & Levi, together: So Lucifer, heads or tails?

Lucifer: *relaxed smile* Good question. I think I’ll go with heads.

Mammon: *nods* Then I’m tails.

Levi: *nods* I’m heads!

Lucifer: *chuckles low with a confident smirk* Okay then, time to flip.

Levi: *snickers happily, beaming* Heads! All right! See you later, Mammon. Don’t forget to take the pot with you!

Mammon: *scowls darkly* Gr...! You cheated, Lucifer! I just know it!

Lucifer: *envelopes himself in a dark, miasmic aura* *chuckles sweetly, eyes crinkling* Whoa, Mammon… Are you really accusing me of cheating? Without any proof?

Mammon: *shakes head quickly* Yikes...! 

Mammon: *smiles nervously* Well, guess I don’t have a choice. Seein’ as I lost...

Levi (to himself): (*snickers, beaming* Heh. Look at how Lucifer scared him…)

Lucifer: *nods, smiling sweetly* Ah, I almost forgot. While you’re at it, bring us some milk as well.

Mammon: *glum pout* Ugh, fine…

Lucifer: *hums in relaxed, cheerful thought* Also, as long as you’re doing that, bring us some fruit, too. Let’s say, four or five varieties. You’ll find them in the refrigerator. Make sure to peel them and cut them up so they’re bite-sized, and arrange them neatly on a plate for us.

Mammon: *wide-eyed exclamation* WHAT?!?! ...*INDIGNANT YELLING* HEY! DON’T GO GETTIN’ CARRIED AWAY! Only one extra request allowed! That’s the rule!

––––––––

Text chat: The Advent of Adolescence? 1 (from The Demon Brothers(6))

––––––––

Mammon: Lucifer, I need your help with something.

Lucifer: What is it now?

Lucifer: You speaking so proper is, for lack of a better word, creeping me out.

Beel: Did you eat something that left a bad taste in your mouth?

Satan: I wouldn’t put it past Mammon...

Asmo: …Being the Avatar of Greed and all.

Mammon: Hey!

Mammon: Why do I gotta suffer all this hate just for asking “Lucifer, I need your help with something”?

Mammon: I’m being serious!

Mammon sent an attachment:

(Image description: Levi, outdoors in the city, standing beside a female demon who appears to be engaging him in conversation)

Mammon: Take a look at this!

Mammon: Our little Levi is…

Mammon: …finally becoming a man!

Satan: You’re right…

Asmo: You go, Levi!

Asmo: Not that she holds a candle to my impeccable figure ❤️

Lucifer: Shall we have a cake made to honour the occasion?

Beel: Chocolate cake with chocolate mousse icing and melt-in-your-mouth filling…!

Levi: What’s with the constant notifications? They’re getting on my nerves…

Levi: Wait…when did you take that picture?!

Mammon: Well, look who it is! The man of the hour!

Lucifer: 🥳

Asmo: 🥰

Satan: 😄🎉

Levi: I don’t know what you guys think we’re doing, but I guarantee you it’s nothing like that.

Mammon: So, what you’re sayin’ is you’ll work up to the dirty stuff, eventually?

Levi: I was inducted into some cult recently. No idea what it’s about.

Satan: Oh…I see.

Asmo: Oh dear…

Levi: I’ve known for a while now…

Levi: …that I’d never be able to live happily with the norms.

Lucifer: …Don’t cry, Levi.

Lucifer: Every one of us knows that you’re a good person.

Levi: I’m not crying!

Mammon: Which means…?

Levi: You’re mine, Mammon!

Lucifer: Shall we lend you a hand, Levi?

Mammon: 😨

Beel: Well then, let’s have a party to help Levi take him mind off of all this.

Beel: Mammon, go down to Madam Scream’s and order us a chocolate cake, cheesecake, and strawberry tarts.

Mammon: Why do I gotta do it? You’re the one who wants to eat it!

––––––––

Text chat: The Advent of Adolescence? 2 (from The Demon Brothers(6))

––––––––

Asmo: Lucifer, I need your help with something.

Mammon: Hey, Asmo!

Mammon: Don’t go stealin’ my line! It’s a Mammon original!™

Satan: A Mammon Original™? You don’t say…

Lucifer: What is it this time, Asmo?

Asmo: Take a look at this!

Asmo sent an attachment:

(Image description: This time it’s Beel who has been photographed outdoors in the city, standing beside a female demon who appears to be engaging him in conversation)

Levi: Beel was probably just tricked into joining a cult like I was…

Mammon: Oooh, looks like someone’s still a little butthurt about that, eh li’l Levi?

Levi: Don’t test me. I’ll leave you bankrupt and panhandling under a bridge.

Lucifer: Shall I lend a hand, Levi?

Mammon: Lighten up, it was just a joke!

Asmo: There is still a chance of that. The girl does have a certain aura about her.

Asmo: That is merely a guess on my part, though ❤️❤️❤️

Satan: Yes, he may be drinking the Kool-Aid as we speak.

Satan: He’s certainly open-minded enough, and he’s in peak physical condition.

Beel: Is this my picture?

Levi: Speak o’ the devil! It’s Beel!

Asmo: Hey Beel!

Asmo: What were you talking to the girl in the picture about?

Beel: ???

Beel: I have no idea why you’re so concerned, but…

Beel: She asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with her sometime.

Mammon: 🤯

Lucifer: There can be no doubt. He has the ticket to prove it.

Beel: But I refused.

Asmo: You what?!

Beel: She wanted to take me to a theatre with only a handful of different kinds of popcorn.

Asmo: You can’t be serious, Beel…

Levi: That sounds like our Beel all right!

Satan: We should expect no less of a man who thinks with his stomach rather than his brain.

Beel: ???

Beel: I don’t get it. Did I make a mistake somewhere…?

Asmo: One that could have changed your life, my gluttonous brother.