#malpost

thinking about the grisha trilogy in mal’s pov is making me so suicidal 🙂 all my friends are dead 🙂 the love of my life is losing herself to her own powers 🙂 i spent all my life trying to be useful (to her) and my true usefulness is my death 🙂 and even before that if i get to be with her i’ll wither and age and die while she lives for centuries 🙂 i have no honor in my country 🙂 i have no home but her and she is uninhabitable 🙂 she loves me but not enough to save me 🙂

y’all know i’m ride or die for mal bc i liked him when he was just alina’s hot cocky childhood best friend

GOD. the way people talk about mal is so infuriating like they talk about his flaws as something horrible to contend with as if he’s committed major atrocities when in reality… he’s literally a war-torn traumatized teenage boy. i walked into the trilogy knowing nothing besides the fact that people only talked about darklina. but then i met mal and he is just so easy to to love. like he’s angry, he’s insecure, he’s jealous and i LOVE him. i love that he’s not some perfect fictional boy who is always there for the heroine and is rarely ever flawed. i love him </3

im still being a cunt. they didn't even TRY to disguise nikolai's face while he's sturmhond. if he's out there flying all over the world with HIS PRINCELY FACE.. how the fuck is mal using his name. also it's disrespectful to both mal AND nikolai to take that name like how is mal supposed to find himself in someone else's name and then nikolai was out there (in the books at least) cutting off people's fingers and feeding it to his dogs so he'd be taken seriously ... hence sturmhond.

nikolai and mal... peak bitch4bitch dynamic

ALSO YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS ABOUT BOOK MAL THAT I NEED TO SEE IN SHOW MAL... mal's INNATE ability to be so charming and sexy that he can go anywhere and make friends

you’re my flag. you’re my nation. alina, i see you now. i’ll find my way back to you. she’s worth it, sir. to hell with it—i miss your scowl. saints help me, alina, i want to live forever. i won’t let him hurt you. we’ll find a way out of this, alina. we always do. i’ll meet you in the meadow. i don’t think you’re ugly. i know if you were safe and whole you would write. i’ve risked my life for you. i’ve walked half the length of ravka for you. and I’d do it again, and again and again just to be with you. this once, let me carry you. i’ve been staring at your name for almost an hour. don’t touch her. hey, i worry. i feel how flimsy i am, how all the things i thought were strong and whole were just held together by you. she’s the thing that made this all okay. no matter what it takes, i’ll see you safe again. i wrote to you nearly every single day. alina, i remember everything. she’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. i’ll always find you. you are the whole of my heart. beauty, beloved, cherished, my heart. you are my true north. and i can see my way to you now. it’s a vow that if i can’t be anything else to you, at least i can be a weapon in your hand. don’t tell me we don’t belong together. i want her back. please, alina. please, this can’t be how it ends. you are a brat. you can’t ask that of me. i won’t kill you, alina. she’s worth it. and one day maybe she’ll let me chase her into a chapel. i couldn’t eat. i couldn’t sleep. i kept seeing you walk away, seeing you disappear. you belonged with me. do you know how much i want that? to be with you without rank or walls or anything between us? what am i? am i your guardian? you friend? your servant? tell me what i am. bodyguard to a saint. just you and me. it’s always been just you and me, alina. we found our way back to each other, alina. hey, look, you don’t owe me an explanation. i’m sorry it took me so long to see you, alina. moi soverenyi. i miss you. i stay away to protect you, alina. i wanted you to ask me to stay. come back to me. going to miss this. the way you taste. the way you smell. the way you feel. i just want to keep you safe. you were meant for more than me, and i’ll die fighting to give it to you. this is all i have to offer. i won’t fail you again. i can’t do this. not if you make me laugh, not if you touch me like that. i wasn’t afraid of you, alina. i was afraid of losing you. you’re being a brat. i would have been different too, without you. weaker, reckless. afraid of the dark. i love every part of you, even the part of you that loved him. you know i’d be lost without you. you’re all i ever wanted. i’m going to marry alina. you say you need the firebird. i’ll find a way to get it for you. but when this is all over, alina, i wonder if you’ll still want me. i won’t let him hurt you. you look beautiful. i save my faith for the saints. for all my talk of vows and honor, what i really want is to put you up against the wall and kiss you until you forget you ever knew another man’s name. i wanted more for you. a white veil in your hair. vows we could keep. deserve her. i have to spend the rest of my life finding ways to deserve a certain white-haired girl. i’ll stay by your side as long as you let me. whatever there is between us? we forged it. it belongs to us. i would have noticed you. i missed you every hour. always. no matter who or what i was, i would’ve been yours. i love you, alina.