Something was wrong. He couldn’t handle his overbearing mother and his best friend who he usually had the energy to tease and bicker with. Gordon replaces his sadness, his fear—any negative emotion, really—with an angry mask. He doesn’t want to seem weak. Maybe he blames himself for his father leaving. He doesn’t want the others he loves to leave him too. He ESPECIALLY doesn’t want them to leave because he thinks he’s weak. Gordon loves Roger, he can’t let go of the happiness he has.

Roger, of course, knows this. He knows his boyfriend is overwhelmed and likely on the verge of a breakdown. He shoos the others out, and does what he can to comfort Gordon. Gordon’s scared of dying, god it TERRIFIES him. But he can’t let Roger be scared, he can’t let Roger think he’s weak, he begs him to go. And so when the idea of death is brought up, he tries to tell Roger it would be fine. All Gordon needs is to write a song so he can actually say he did something, you know?

Bonus gif: