#malalai

Farò un tatuaggio col sangue del mio amato

ed ogni rosa nel verde giardino si vergognerà

h/t to @prismagoat - thank you! <3

pumpkin spice: what’s your drink of choice? uh. water? water sounds nice. tea is something she always had to prepare for others, coffee she doesn’t remember and juices are so far out of the realm of what she can imagine, she wouldn’t know where to start with that. milk is okay, too. alcohol is right out.

wool socks: what’s something you look forward to in fall? the green everywhere. the rain she could do without, but the green? the green is nice.

chilly air: what’s your least favorite and favorite type of weather? the best weather is clearly hot and dry. (windy is a bonus.) the worst is cold and wet, or arguably hot and humid. cold tends to make her miserable in general, and humidity makes her fur all fuzzy. bleargh.

scarves: if you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life what would it be? something loose and concealing, but not loose enough to get in her way as she moves. she doesn’t necessarily like being visible, nor does she like baring too much of her fur.

apple cider: if you could throw a party, and invite absolutely anyone, who would they be? that’s easy: no one. party’s cancelled. she doesn’t like crowds. she doesn’t even like people for the most part!

haunted houses: what’s your scariest memory? (if you don’t have one/ don’t want to talk about it, what’s your biggest fear?) to properly determine her scariest memory, she’d have to do anything but dissociate the instant she strays too far back in her mind. (trauma: not even once!) her biggest fear on the other hand is easy: she will never be captured again. never.

falling leaves: you’re stranded on a desert island and here’s the twist; what three things do you NOT bring with you? tea. hair ornaments. transparent clothing.

smelly candles: what’s your absolute favorite scent? clean air right after a rain storm.

big sweaters: do you prefer the cold, warmth, or a perfect in-between? warmth. not even a contest.

halloween: if you could dress up as anyone/ anything and pull it off absolutely flawlessly, who/what would it be? she’d probably pick a fierce warrior of some sort. the more concealing the armour, the better.

cozy blankets: where do you feel the most safe and at home? nowhere. she brings her memories with her everywhere she goes, after all, and she cannot go back home. just because she’d feel safe doesn’t mean she would actually be.

hot tea: when was the last time you kissed someone? back before she ran away. she doesn’t want to think about it.

cinnamon coffee: is there anyone you want to kiss? gods, no.

flannel: what’s your favorite day of the year? is there a reason it’s your favorite? she doesn’t have a favourite day of the day. what sort of nonsense question is that?

fuzzy boots: if you could live in any year/era, which would it be and why? her childhood before she was captured, thank you very much.

thanksgiving: what is something/someone you’re the most thankful for? any particular reason? her ability with a weapon. not only does it make it more unlikely that she will be captured again, she can also punish anyone who tries to capture her again - or kill herself if there’s no other way out. she likes having the option to kill. it makes her feel more secure.

black friday: what is one thing, if anything, you would sell your soul to own? nothing is worth selling her soul for. it’d just make her belong to someone else again.

apple picking: if you could go anywhere, where would it be and why? she’d go back to Casmarron, though she does not remember where her tribe lived. she just knows she came from there - not that she expects she’ll ever find her family again (she knows they are most likely dead or scattered), but she’d not be here anymore. it can only be better elsewhere.

corn mazes: do you have any secret talents/abilities? she’d forgotten all about her ability with a sword - or rather: she’d suppressed it so deep that nothing could get to it. while that might hardly be a secret anymore at this stage, it was her best-kept secret for most of her life - indeed, she kept it so well she forgot about it herself.

hay rides: if you could pick absolutely anything to be your form of transportation, what would it be? a fast horse, most likely, or a chariot. something that makes her feel as if she is flying.

the color orange: do you have a specific song that reminds you of autumn? what is it? several ones. she hates all of them.

windy nights:if you could go to any concert whose would it be? she’d probably pick a dance recital of a style she has never encountered before, something to pick new techniques up from.

holding hands: do you believe in soulmates? hell no

watches: do you think black cats are bad luck? uh. why would they be?

😏: What angst tropes are you a sucker for? I’m tempted to say all of them, but that isn’t necessarily an answer. Hmm. I like a good old miscommunication that leads to terrible, terrible angst as much as the next fangirl, but I’m also rather partial to internalised beliefs as a source of angst. (”Everybody says I’m ____, so therefore I really am ____!”) Funnily enough, I enjoy the reverse just as much - angst stemming from the fact that one is different from what other people think is also delicious! Unrequited feelings is always a favourite (especially when they’re really, really, really not unrequited!), the (perceived) need to put on a specific persona... and I’m probably forgetting about 50 more. I just like angst, okay.

🤔: Any angst tropes you’re not really fond of? None that I can think of. There’s a few I have to be careful around, as they can hit rather close to home and make me wildly uncomfortable if done in ways I find squicky.

🎶: Is there any particular music you listen to while writing/plotting angst? If the character or the story I am writing/plotting for have any music I associate with them or it, chances are that’s what’s going into the playlist - especially if it’s angsty music. Otherwise I’ll probably just put Spotify on shuffle and skip the songs that pull me out of the “correct” mood.

❤️‍: Developed angst, or pre-established angst? Do you prefer to get to the angst naturally, or do you rp meme your way straight to it?

😶: Got any future thread angst hidden up your sleeve? Boy, do I.

🤗: Could you give us an angsty excerpt about your muse? Taylor merkt erst am nächsten Morgen, dass es nicht damit getan ist dass ihm Handy und PC abgenommen wurden. (Er versucht nicht von seinem Handy und seinem PC zu denken. Keines von beidem gehört ihm.) Als er die Tür öffnet um zum Frühstück zu gehen, erhebt sich ein übernächtigt aussehender Mr. Miller von einem Stuhl neben Taylors Zimmertür, wünscht Taylor einen guten Morgen und geht, Stuhl unter dem Arm und ein Buch in der freien Hand. Das ungute Gefühl in Taylors Bauchgegend verstärkt sich als er sich von der Begegnung immer noch etwas benommen an den Frühstückstisch setzt: An seinem Platz steht lediglich ein Glas, keine Tasse. Der Kaffee wird seinen Eltern eingeschenkt, die Kanne wieder zurück in die Küche gebracht. Ah, denkt Taylor, und dann nicht viel mehr. Er ist Müdigkeit gewöhnt, aber gerade ist er nicht so sehr müde als dass er das Gefühl hat zwei Meter neben sich zu stehen und aus kühler Distanz zu beobachten wie die Kraft mit jedem Atemzug aus seinem Körper rinnt.

😲: Has there ever been anything on the dash you’ve seen that was super intense? I have a good ten or twenty prompts scattered through my likes that would be so angsty. Doesn’t help that I’ve recently realised whump is a thing, too, and am now all over that - it just hits the right spot of all that sweet, sweet pain and it goes so beautifully with angst. More of that, plz.

😭: What’s one of the saddest threads you’ve ever been in? I can think of a coupla ones - not necessarily on tumblr, mind, so I’m stretching the definition of thread a little, but I think one of the better ones was when I was brainstorming an AU of one of my current RP characters with a friend - what if she hadn’t fallen as softly as she did? That was... oof. I’m making myself sad just thinking about the what ifs when it comes to Danica and her Auntie Mother.

😕: Do you thrive on angst, or can it get a little overwhelming after a while? I like angst with a happy ending. Or just angst, for that matter, but for the most part I’ll quietly HC in a happy ending when there isn’t one.

😱: Has angst ever killed your motivation for thread(s)? Bending the definition of threads again, because my RP does not happen on tumblr: Not in the slightest.

👻: Has angst ever - literally - killed your muse(s)? Oh yeah. Greif and Aenor fall prey to that on the occasion. Everyone else is largely a little luckier, but when I say largely, I mean it.

😇: Fluff and angst? Or full-on angst?

😈: What are some of your favourite angst threads? Definition, threads, bla, as before: All of them. Though Aenor will forever have a special place in my heart, simply for such things as the INTERVENTION.

👿: What are your muse(s)’ fatal flaws? Any wishlists to do with them? A non-exhaustive list of things my muses - especially the angsty ones - tend to have in common: I CANNOT TALK ABOUT (ISSUE THAT CAUSES ME PAIN, DISCOMFORT OR STRESS) BECAUSE (MORE OR LESS IRRATIONAL REASONS). self-worth? I hardly know ‘er (varying levels of) untreated childhood trauma will melt when shown the slightest scrap of kindness loyal af, even to people who abuse their loyalty (the GOOD stuff right here) trust in others is either at 100% or at 0%. there is no in between. if I don’t acknowledge my trauma it’ll go away. right?