#malaks

The power of three is something to behold, in my situation, there was me, unknowingly present in a situation I couldn’t comprehend, but I was required to investigate and learn, this was mandatory for me to progress and to be happy, the second was the anonymous and malevolent entity, a creature who hates and despises me, us and all things associated, this entity is putrid, angry, violent, bitter, relentless and jealous, the third entity was the opposite, love, light and truth, the veiled lady.

Unfortunately, to this day, her full identity remains hidden to me, but witnessed by others, perhaps one day, I shall lift the veil.

To my knowledge, its alleged the veiled lady has also taken this burden upon herself as an act of love to help me on my path of enlightenment, the other entity was to be determined, but their actions speak for themselves and ultimately, this is a spiritual war and in my opinion, a cowards war, the dark entities accept no responsibility for their actions, and unfortunately this parasitical being is a common problem for all races, universally speaking too, which I will elaborate upon in future posts, this is why they must be brought to justice. If nothing else, for our own survival and sanity.

As a child of injustice, as most unknowingly are, I took this burden upon myself to filter and decipher the truth, the applied process being, thesis, anti-thesis and then synthesis, unfortunately, without the darkness we cannot see our own light, so this was going to be a process of learning and self discovery too.

The following morning, both entities were omnipresent in my everyday consciousness, yes, crazy, even paranoid some may say, were her actions an act of betrayal, an insidious persecution or simply the choices of others fulfilling their chosen role and true desires, was this life with the blinkers removed? The ability to see the brilliance of the physical realm and the full ability of the human form? Duality!

Unfortunately, general ignorance is an adopted way of life, religion is corrupt, spiritual beliefs are waning and in some cases, all hope is lost, but regardless if you choose to believe me or not, even in the minority of one, the truth is still the truth and will always remain so, its unchangeable, its the exact opposite of unchanging evil too, those who manipulate to deceive us, just like people who play out there wicked ways in the physical world, which I’m sure have their own personal reasons for, others may refer to this spiritual architecture as the demiurge or polarity.

Based on her actions, I refer to her veil as the veil of ignorance, but only from my perspective, but most commonly this is referred to as the veil of isis , so what does she know from her perspective?

I believe there is a road map of learning installed in each of us, which ultimately gets played out in many forms based on our individual choices and attributed to our merit, I don’t believe in free will either, but I do believe we have limited choices to make, this is our responsibility, I believe we are here to tackle a problem beneficial to our own progress and merit and whichever path you choose in life, good or bad, which is grey area to say the least, these actions will have consequences that will contribute and fulfill its purpose in this spiritual battle, whilst learning and evolving individually and as a combined race on a physical plane of existence too.

I do not believe in sin, are we not punished for the transgressions of others already? especially demonic beings, in my opinion, this injustice has already been taken upon us. There are two sides of a coin and I think this applies to the tree of knowledge too, thankfully, we haven’t been granted the tree of life yet.

However, I can agree with the Demiurge perspective, because what is true about hiding an identity, based on my experience this has been applicable to both sides, the light being and dark being, the consequences of me not knowing, being open and exposed, leaves room for manipulation and misconceptions, so my task was to challenge the my accepted truth’s in each opposite and obtain a sustainable and healthy balance in life, even if I was perceived to be the bad guy from time-to-time, my good intentions remained true to me, but we should also consider the methods of learning involved, do we learn more by being told or more so from personal experience?

The reason little information was given to me was due to the same effects of fueling a fire, if I knew more, than so did the “dark passenger” and as I was forewarned many years prior to my encounter, if I continued down my chosen path, “they” would use everything against me, and “they” did. Was the enemy fulled with love and truth to be use against me, or was it used against it? knowledge is power, but it’s responsibility too, careless actions have careless consequences.

Just as I was stripped in the spiritual realm, the first thing to be taken from me in the physical was my independence, I had been constructively dismissed from my job in the 5th month of my probation and those who stood beside me and vouched for the companies neglect towards me were fired too. You can probably understand why I appreciated my manager immensely, In fact, this was the first bold and honorable action I had seen in someone for a very long time.

Thankfully, that business, which was the third biggest technology company in America, has now been acquired :)

I then found myself unemployed and soon to be homeless, my spiritual dilemma obviously had consequences within the physical realm, I was dealing with corruption too.

On multiple occasions I received calls from recruitment agencies, inquiring about my job search, as you would come to expect, but the hidden agenda was to gather sensitive and personal information, before laughing down the phone at me due to my lack of success in obtaining a new job. “Good luck” soon became a trigger word in many other situations.

When my resources had dried up and I could no longer support myself, or call upon my landlords reasoning to except housing benefit, I decided to obtain support from my father, who thankfully housed me into B&B’s for a few months, however, my mandatory relocation was just another hidden step of a progressive movement in my life, I now had the time to learn new topics which revealed my blind spots and misconceptions, whilst recapturing my fond memories of Kent and enjoying the freedom of well-being, this also enabled me to focus on a new way of life and ponder new business ventures to help lift my spirits from my lack of success obtaining permanent employment, this was my calling, this was my twist of fate.

Unfortunately, my peace wasn’t to last, I was fearful of being vulnerable, I was isolated, lonely and had a consistent consideration for financial concerns, my peace was fragile at best, I had been shrouded with fear and on multiple occasions, those who knew me, suggested if they were in my position, they would kill themselves…. I decided to take the bait.

The entity was everywhere and within all things, unsuspecting minds may say I was being paranoid, but I didn’t need them or a doctor to confirm my future outlook if things continued this way. I was confused and I was searching for answers, not ignorance.

I made a decision, I decided I would fight the remainder of my battle on the other side, I was a financial burden to others, I had made decisions based on experiences nobody could understand and I was humiliated and antagonised at every angle of my life, whilst everyone remained oblivious to their input and actions and whilst others internationally did, I suffered in silence and with no thanks to the public speaking I had provided prior to my redundancy, I was informed by the producer of the production company that my talk had caused a big stir within the political circles.

I had formally been labelled a heretic due to my unorthodox approach to change. I was astonished, I never expected such a retaliation for my advice which was free and purely based on my way of life, now my life was in turmoil, surprisingly, A4e at this time were facing their own private battle too regarding the defrauding of job seekers.

I decided my happiness was paramount, I had suffered for too long, been taken for advantage by friends, family and associates, and to top it, I was a political scapegoat, life had taken all I had to offer, I had been encouraged to end my life and I found no resistance with being served a large amount of paracetamols from the chemist, this had to be done.

After locking myself in my hotel room, in consideration for the maids, I consumed over 38 paracetamols, some people say suicide is a cowards way out, it couldn’t be further from the truth, it takes immense courage.

A little while later I felt immensely cold, so cold it was impossible to warm myself, fear gripped me and I waited for the inevitable to happen, surprisingly, I soon began to warm and relax as a white light grew and surrounded me, with more light, there was more warmth, gradually removing all my fear.. I then found myself on the cusp, at peace, warm and in the moment of pass-over.. I captured the moment and then finally succumbed to it.

Hours later I awoke! I remember nothing else, I was alive, I was also disappointed at what appeared to be a failed suicide attempt, but thankfully something was lost…. the loss of fear and the fear of death.

After this, no matter what I encountered, I never had any intention or desire to attempt suicide again, I had been rejuvenated, it had served it’s purpose, I was ready to fight back and ready to die trying.

But this was just the beginning, I had many things to learn about the corruption of people and of the soul, especially how love can be used as a weapon, peoples general ignorance and in some cases, peoples preferred choice to remain ignorant, but let me assure you, ignorance is not bliss, eventually when you have a change of heart, they come to collect for that stolen happiness, but importantly, I learnt about the acts of kindness, the ability to help and the ability to accept help from others.

Due to lack of funds, reluctantly, I was forced to move back to London, I was given shelter by my wife’s parents, I stayed for as long as possible, but trouble was out to find me, I just couldn’t escape it, randomly, I had been falsely accused of reporting my eldest sister for benefit fraud, this was completely nonsense, I was not aware of her personal circumstances, I wasn’t even in contact with her or any of my family and at this stage, including my father, but still I was to suffer the consequences of somebody else’s actions, I tried to appeal their conviction of me, but my family had one last and unprovoked attack to make.. I decided to leave, with respect to someone else’s habitat.

I was officially homeless, I was forced to couch surf, stay with friends, being destitute I had to consider asking for help from my uncle, he had a spare room, now my Nan had passed, but this was a humiliating and horrendous to say the least, I was forced to sleep in the former bed of my deceased Nan, I had to listen to his rants, run errands for him and accept his reluctance to allow me to stay, his preference being that my nan’s bedroom should remain a shrine to her, I prefer to believe my Nan would have wanted to keep me off the streets, but to him, it was a burden to house me, but I honesty think I was more of a burden to his illegitimate preferences in life, this was intolerable for me, instead, I decided sleeping in a car would be the better option, thankfully, by this time the lady at the housing shelter took mercy upon me and understood my injustice, I believe she had insight to my type of situation, a few days later, I was housed in a half way house for single males.

I am forever grateful for the assistance of the manna society and in due course, I intend my property services company to become a benefactor to them.

The difficulties I had experienced obtaining housing through the council when living in the B&B’s was insane, but my disadvantages had a learning curve too, I now had a full understanding of our benefit and housing system and the idiocy of their policies.

Whilst I settled into the halfway housing, which was substandard at best, photos attached, I was enabled to repair my relationship, but this was only made possible with the revealment of the veiled lady to my wife, she appeared to her within the hallway of her parents home, without fear, however, soon after, those who had poisoned our relationship and clouded her judgement soon disowned her too, with her support and understanding behind me, I was able to progress with my business plans and research what I had experienced, so this is why I choose to write a blog today.

I found so much help and comfort from the disclosure of others, I hope my blog will contribute to the same cause. There is more to life than others are willing to admit.

I regained my focus, realigned my goals, but still I was being antagonised in different ways, not just spiritually, one evening I was assaulted for the second time in unprovoked on the DLR, again, prior to this, I had briefly been forewarned by a smartly dressed man at the bar, just as I had been on another occasion I was assaulted, this time the case was swiftly intercepted by the CID (criminal investigations department) and removed from further investigation by the BTP (British transport police) I then had to wait for a call back from the CID to continue with the investigation, although video and photo evidence of my attackers had been obtained by the BTP and my statement had been completely verified as given, the CID provided conflicting information. The investigating officer from the BTP hands were tied and the cased was closed without further investigation, apparently due to lack of evidence and the people could have been from anywhere!

In addition, my police statement regarding my family abuse had failed to be escalated to the CPS (crown prosecution service), I decided to appeal their decision, thankfully at this stage, one of my customers was a barrister, but my funds were low, so he offered me legal assistance in exchange for it services, but my appeal was denied, due to lack of evidence and refusal of a testimony from my brother, who I might add, made me aware of the digital evidence he had found, there was no justice to be gained from the legal system.

This was a real vice grip and my anonymous enemy couldn’t be reasoned with either, its hostility was relentless, I knew I couldn’t swat a fart, prove or capture a non-physical coward, Now I was having immense difficulty trying to understand how I could escape such a parasitical creature or demon, but in time, there was severe retribution in the spiritual world :)

With my outlook bleak but not defeated, I realised there was a timely process and not just isolated to me, their actions had a ripple effect on others too, I had to grin and bear it and wait it out, I had my responsibilities to fulfill and so did all those who shared my path, some people just pass through and others are destined to remain in our life’s, each fulfilling their own responsibilities, each defeating their own demons.

However, something else soon became apparent, the apparatus that had been placed upon my head, the evening I encountered the veiled lady, had a purpose to fulfill afterall, by this time in my life I had completely forgotten about it, this has been used as an extraction tool, not consistently, only at appropriate times, independent of me but sometimes enabled with the help of others, others who have the ability to see my dilemma and understand the paradox, others like me.

I could only assume when the light that had been invested within me entraps the dweller/s within and with no room for it to maneuver, the possessive, manipulative and parasitic creatures decides to bail, like the evil cowards they are, they undo themselves and their route of escape has been via the top of my head, these beings are then, which I can only understand by feeling, are somehow binded to the headware, the purpose for this is still unknown to me, but I assure you, each time this has happened to me over the course of approximately 4 years, 3 times to date, this has had therapeutic benefits to my way of life due to the spiritual release and then this has the desired effects to my physical surroundings, so I have the veiled lady to thank for this after all.

My spiritual awakening has been brutal to say the least, but the journey has been enlightening, fulfilling and comprehensive too, in retrospect, would I rather my life had stayed as it was or if I had the choice again, would I have chosen this path? Even knowing the hardships that would unfold, Yes I would, but reluctantly because at this stage in my life, I consider this to be a Pyrrhic victory, but time will reveal more answers.

I know, the path and process I have endured was the only path available to my spiritual freedom, I also realise these discoveries and experiences of mine should be shared, but never forced upon others, in consideration and respect to the fact we are all evolving at different rates, some believe, others don’t, but timing will always be key to success and the truth will always remain true.

Si Superman ka ba? O si Ironman? Kahit sinong superhero ka pa na tagapagligtas ng mga naaapi o kung anuman, MAHINA ka pa rin.. dahil lahat ng tao ay may taglay na KAHINAAN.

May paniniwala ako na ang mga taong malalakas ang loob ay minsan isang mahina rin na lumakas na lamang dahil sa mga sitwasyon na normal lang talaga mangyari sa buhay ng isang tao. Pero hindi ibig sabihin na kapag naging matatag at malakas ka na, FOREVER ka ng ganun.

Kadalasan kasi, mapapaluhod mo ang isang napakamakapangyarihan at napakamalakas na tao kung ang titirahin mo ay yung mga MAHALaga sa buhay niya. Siguro sa mga materyal na bagay.. pero mas malakas ang impact kung sa mga TAONG MAHAL NIYA.

Mahirap aminin na mahina ka. Dahil ang ideyolohiya ng tao sa salitang MAHINA ay parang isang basahan na madumi at walang kwenta.. meron man pero di pangmatagalan. Kapag mahina ka, dun ka tabi.. sa gilid, dulo, huli.. doon kung saan di ka makikita dahil anong silbing makita ka nila kung wala ka namang kwenta.

Pero ang totoo, neutral dapat ang mga bagay-bagay. B-A-L-A-N-C-E. Minsan kailangan mong maging malakas para malagpasan lahat ng hamon ng buhay at kung minsan, kailangan mo rin namang maging mahina dahil ito ang magsisilbing TEACHER mo sa buhay.

"Minsan.. kailangan mong maging malakas.. para amining MAHINA ka." - Bob Ong