How to un-mental illness so i can actually fucking talk about ym feelings instead of not feelign them until i breakdown.

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How to un-mental illness so i can actually fucking talk about ym feelings instead of not feelign them until i breakdown.

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Got excited over Love & Pies having lesbians & went "LOVE & PIES HAS YURI????@ on discord & then realized how much of a fucking loser I am ðŸ˜
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Tip me over and pour me out
on a scale of "one" to "make a deal with the devil to change everything about who you are" how badly do you hate yourself

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You don't get it do you? I have panic attacks, it's not just freaking out a little when I'm about to kiss him. It's when he puts his leg over mine, his head nuzzling into my chest. I start to freeze up, he recognized it was happening before I could. My breaths shortening and my body slightly shaking. This was a panic attack. My whole body had to focus on breathing correctly, in out in out. Tears welled my eyes, and I just became angry at my brain. Why? I like this boy, he's not going to hurt me, I just want to cuddle and kiss him, why wouldn't my brain let me?
Make me normal
I want to bare my teeth and bite another person. .. Bend and bind their limbs tightly together with thick rope. Blindfold them and claw at their skin...I want to fuck them breed them...until it leaks and drips down their inner thighs.. Maybe I'd lick it all up... What nasty things to think of. Just call me a bad man for it...tell me I'm fucked up. I want to get off on my own pain...
someone needs to fix me right away. i don’t care who and i don’t care how, just please fix me. make me right.