#mage reader

(Bonus Moon in Curse Mode(tm))

You walk slowly over the battlements balancing a tray between your hands, nervous about reaching his door. It was true that he was quite happy to see you all those weeks ago when you made the journey to Haven, however that didn’t rid you of your nervous energy. If anything it added to your nervous energy.

You had preferred to try your luck there in Haven than with Fiona and her talks with those Tevinter men. True it had been very risky getting there, but in the end you had made it.

Then you had seen him and it had made you feel like it had been the right decision after all. All that fear of being caught by rogue Templars or rogue mages. The fear of having to kill them to survive if you should come upon them and they attack. All of that had been worth seeing him again.

You had used tips Anders had told you all those years ago, the very tips he used himself to escape from Kinloch Hold.

Before you fainted from fatigue he had turned to you eyes widening in disbelief which quickly had turned to concern when he saw you begin to fall to the ground. You vaguely believe you heard him call out your name, but couldn’t be 100% sure. It could have very easily been a wishful thought after all.

After ten years of not really seeing him it made you jittery as heck. Especially after finding out back in Haven that he had been beyond worried when you didn't wake up for days. You had put it down to fatigue, the healers had said as much as well. But you felt like it was possibly the added shock of seeing the man you had really cared for so many years later.

When you had finally awoken things were pretty hectic with everyone preparing to close the breach. You had been deemed too weak to contribute without hurting yourself. So you had barely seen him, the few times you had your face had flushed red while you asked if he was okay.

A small smile coming to your face when he gave you a look of surprise. Then he had answered he was fine, just busy. So you would leave him the snack you had made for him and then left.

Then Haven fell. You'd be lying if you weren't in awe of the Inquisitor, but standing near Cullen when he had joined the singing had made your knees weak. Maker you had always loved his voice, but his singing voice? You were not expecting that. Yet that night and onwards you not only thanked the Maker but Andraste for gifting him with such a thrilling voice.

You wondered how anyone got any work done with him, you would likely zone out and daydream about him saying more personal things. Though you suspected he was very easy to listen to, even possibly boring subjects would be made interesting with that Maker given gift.

Funnily enough it was now a little like the roles were reversed. You use to make him feel this way, but since laying your eyes on him once more he made you a nervous wreck. You had long lost that youthful confidence, that he had only fuelled with his nervous chatter.

He was damn cute back at Kinloch Hold and now he was oh so very hot. He was one man you could most definitely say grew to be quite the man. You had seen him training the other day with one of his subordinates and well there was no better sight you had seen before that day.

You nearly stumble when you suddenly stop halfway to his tower. You look down at the tray, the fresh made cookies still steaming. You move the tray to balance on the one arm before concentrating, your other hand hovers over the cookies the steam slowly dying down until they were the perfect temperature.

Ever so slightly warm to help give them that fresh taste you knew Cullen liked. Also to hide the fact it was you baking them. If they were piping hot he would likely put two and two together that you were making them. That or stalking the cooks to grab some for him as soon as they were cooked.

Though after Sera spotting you cooking them, you weren’t sure how long that secret would remain hidden. You just hoped that extra batch you had made her made it stay quite a little longer. You weren’t quite sure how you felt about him knowing that you were baking. Baking specifically for him that is.

It was a crush back then, for the both of you. Now. Well you hadn’t fallen in love before but you were pretty sure it was headed in that direction. You lived to see his smile, to see him happy. Even if in the end it wasn’t with you.

You’d be lying if you hadn’t noticed his headaches either. Having seen first hand Templars going off their Lyrium during that ten year gap you knew very well what he was going through. The sweats, mood swings all just confirmed that theory. Unless you were very wrong and Cullen was actually coming off something else entirely.

But then he wouldn’t be Commander would he? You shook your head and forced yourself to move on. Standing there and losing yourself in your thoughts was never good. You were quite prone to losing yourself in thought, something Irving had often commented on. Luckily you were a quite gifted mage, otherwise you often wondered if they made mages who dazed off too often into Tranquils.

Thankfully that last train of thought could not continue as you had reached his door. You’d imagine it was quite an amusing sight to anyone who saw you on the battlements. You knocked and only entered when you heard, “Come in.” Your features scrunching up into a frown when you realise his voice sounded a little off.

Opening the door you finally see why. One hand held to the temples on the side of his head trying to unsuccessfully massage away the pain. He hadn’t looked up yet so you imagine his next words were not meant for you, “I hope you have a speech prepared.” Speech?

“I don’t but Irving use to say I was quite good at making them up on the spot.” He looks up so quick you wonder if he caused himself some pain and then his cheeks redden.

“I though.. Thought you were someone else.” Your eyes widen in surprise and wonder when he stumbles on his words. You can see the frustration in his eyes at having stumbled.

“You know I always found that quite cute.” The words fall unbidden from your lips, you instantly feel heat travel up your chest, over your neck, to your face and finally the tips of your ears. “Maker I am so sorry.”

“I thought you had forgotten.”

It is time for surprise to enter your own eyes. “Forgotten?”

“You have rarely talked to me since you arrived at Haven.” He stands slowly wincing when the light from the windows hits his sensitive eyes. “I had assumed you had forgotten.” Me being the unsaid word, because he knew everything else was very hard to forget.

In those moments you completely forgot about the tray still balanced on one of your arms and as you gesture your complete and utter shock at his words it falls to the ground with a loud THUD. Cullen winced as the tray hit the ground, either from it causing his headache to worsen or a mixture of that and the baked goods meeting the floor.

“Fuck.” You rarely swore other than Maker’s balls and Andraste’s tits but very few people actually have heard you. You hear more than see Cullen come to help you with the mess you had made a small look of surprise on his face at your chosen word, a small chuckle leaving his lips causing a shiver to run down your spine.

Both bending down to pick up the tray and see what was the prognosis of your cookies. You slam the tray to your side causing Cullen to jump not expecting the sound. Seeing him wince you instantly say, “Sorry.” But when your eyes snap to his, forgetting your nerves you tell him truthfully. “How could I ever forget you?” You watch as the red enters his cheeks once more, “You made life worth living to its fullest back then.”

A slow release of air which sounds loud in the now quiet room, “I could never forget you.” His eyes were completely focussed on you. You were about to continue when a Inquisition soldier burst into the room, the surprise causing your nerves to return. While Cullen was distracted you quickly cleaned the rest of the mess. Muttering under your breath, “I should steal back the other batch I made from Sera.”

“You made these?”

Ears burning as you look up to see not only one set of eyes on you but two. The Inquisition soldier slowly backed out while the Commander was distracted, mouthing a quick sorry to you before he gently shut the door. Cullen not noticing his departure. Too surprised by your admission to notice.

“Does that mean the previous cookies were baked by you also?” A smile was slowly filling up his features.

You started playing with the hem of your sleeves as you replied, “Yes.”

Before you could register what was happening, his hand was on your neck and his lips met with your own. The gasp that left your lips giving him further access to your mouth. He was about to back off when you finally responded, your hands pulling him closer feeling like every nerve in your body was on fire.

You felt alive again.

When you broke apart it was like Cullen remembered something, as he quickly looked around the room before a frown pulled down his eyebrows. It took a second till you realised what he was looking for. “He left.”

“I see, Jim really does have the worst timing. Just the other day he walked in when I was discussing some private matters with the Inquisitor.” Your head tilts to the side wondering what it was he had talked with the Inquisitor about but shake your head slightly when you realise your thoughts were drifting away again.

You blink and you see him smiling. “What?”

“I often wondered if you still did that.” You imagined you were nearing the colour of tomatoes at this point. “I found it rather endearing. I still do.”

You are not quite sure how to react to that, so instead you smile and you feel as if you will never stop smiling.

His hand and eyes took in all your features. “Maker I’ve missed you.” Then his eyes flashed with concern, confusing you until you felt him stroke your cheek and it came away wet. You was crying. “Maker. I didn’t. Are you okay?” He was about to pull away again so you grabbed onto the hand on your face as if it was a life line.

“You did nothing wrong Cullen. These are tears of joy.” He seemed to doubt your words so you leant forward placing a light kiss upon his lips. “I don’t want to ever lose you again.”

A look of relief and pure joy enters his features. “Nor I you.” Then he winces and you are reminded of his headache. You stand not letting go of his hand as you direct him away from the ruined cookies before making him sit down at his seat.

You stand in front of him and lean back against the desk as your hands slowly reach up to his temples, “May I?”

He knows what you are asking so he nods, “Yes.”

You let your hands cool down, then began to massage his temples blushing at the moan of pleasure that came from Cullen, at the relief your hands were giving his throbbing head. Seeing his own cheeks redden at the sound. “Next time, get someone to get me.” His eyes open slightly as he nods his consent to your order.

When you finish you lean forward and place a hid on his forehead, letting your lips cool down too. Leaving a chilling kiss on his warm skin. Causing another sigh to leave his precious lips. You then place a kiss on his nose, finally on his lips.

You squeak when he pulls you into his lap to deepen the kiss. Minutes later you break apart. You both blush when you say the same thing, “Maker.”

“I have always cared for you Cullen, and I always will.”

A true bright smile lights up his face, “I know you do.” He breathes in while stroking your face, taking in your features once more. “I’ve waited so long for this.”

“So have I Cullen. So have I.” You lean forward laying your head on his shoulder breathing in his scent as your body relaxes against him, his arms making you feel safe and secure. This was where you were meant to be. It had always been where you were meant to be. With him and he with you.

“I was really looking forward to those cookies. You said something about taking some back from Sera?” You hit his chest gently, he laughs showing he didn’t in fact feel any pain, “Ow what was that for?”

“Cullen, I can make more.So for now can we forget about the death of the cookies?” Another chuckle as you snuggle closer, “Let’s just stay like this for awhile.”