#mage!yuuta

That's why you were so surprised when you met Yuuta, and even became friends with him. Why would a person like him talk to a person like you? You don’t stand out well, you’re a pretty average person, in both skills and appearance. You live in a shabby house in a tiny village, with a job as a farmer. Meanwhile Yuuta is probably the most stunning person you’ve ever met, and his magic always blows you away. 

He loves to show you little tricks and see your reaction. Summoning water to float around you, or manipulating the wind to teasingly twirl leaves around you. Your face always brightens in awe, no matter how big or small it is. He’s always nervous to show you in case you don’t find it impressive, but when your eyes shine, and you say how amazing and great he is, he can’t help but flush as his chest feels all fuzzy and his stomach flutters.

He enjoys helping you out in your fields too. Sprinkling water on the crops you ask him to, and even just cooling the air around you on hot days.

You two met because Yuuta got injured while helping out nearby towns. His mana was drained after constant use for multiple days, and thus, when he crossed paths with monsters, he wasn’t able to fight properly.

You stumbled upon him right as he narrowly escaped, and when he looked at you after he crashed into your chest, stuttering out apologies, you couldn’t help but take him back to your tiny house to help treat him. 

You saved him, and he can’t help but feel like he owes you his life.

Thus, your relationship bloomed. And even now, 4 years later, he still visits you whenever he can. You both send each other letters when Yuuta has to travel far to help aid other places, and you both can’t help but feel so stupidly happy when your eyes carefully gaze upon the ink placed upon the paper from your new messages.

You cherish your moments with Yuuta, he’s just so pretty, so amazing, so perfect that sometimes you can’t help but wonder if he’s even real at all. What if he is just part of a wonderful dream that you don’t want to wake from?? 

But when he gently caresses your hand with a flustered look, timidly looking you in the eye, you can’t help but not want to leave him. Not that he wants to leave either, he wants to stay by your side forever.

Yuuta adores you, you are the light of his life. His savior. He always struggles with people, especially with that voice constantly in the back of his head telling him to be careful, to not trust them.. But with you, everything seems wonderful, and he never wants to leave.

Whenever he gets summoned to a place far from you, it's like a horrible pain in his chest, a constant pressure. He even gains more praise from people now, ‘he gets it done so quickly, he is so amazing!! Truly gifted!’, ‘So powerful!’. ‘He must be the best alive!!’  but only he knows, it’s only done quicker so he can go to you as soon as possible. 

It’s almost a need for him to be with you. 

You love being with him, hearing his stories, seeing new spells, everything about him is amazing. He loves being with you, experiencing your cooking, your warmth, you. 

The gentle caresses you give each other, the long tender holds from a long separation, the comforting hugs given, the soft kisses given to one another thinking the other is asleep… 

You are each other's joy. Each other's warmth. 

Even after you both confess, the warm cozy nights spent together, affectionate heart-filled promises for the future, giggling under covers as if you were children, the poorly sung songs you both love to sing together, shy kisses given to each other, gentle gazes given throughout all the hours you spend together– it never seems enough, even though the euphoric rush given always seems too much, you’d happily accept more and more. 

The childish joy in the days with the two of you is almost beautifully precious. 

Even when he is a mess underneath you, harsh pants leaving you both as you press against each other as much as physically possible… The messy kisses exchanged, the hushed ‘love you’s spoken throughout those times…

Although Yuuta hates leaving you, you always make him cute little trinkets to take with him. ‘A little piece of me to accompany you’, you’d say. It gets to the point where he has his own bag he carries with him just full of them. He’d never tell you how he kisses them when he’s away though, secretly hoping you can somehow feel them despite the distance.

Just a glance at the bag has him smiling with joy. You are his world. You are his life. His everything. 

He loves it when he returns, walking up the path to the house he calls home. He always sees you waiting by the door, or already outside. You are usually tending to the lavender patch you have outside, or harvesting some of the herbs hanging out front. The moment your name leaves his lips, the way your face lights up when you see him, when you run up to him and scoop him into your arms, he can’t help but smile til his cheeks hurt. Loving laughs leaving both of you.

He ignores the nagging feeling, though. The way those voices drip into his ears, warning him that you will leave him. But he knows you won’t. He won’t let you.

The first time a fever fell on you, Yuuta panicked. He has never been sick himself, and when he sees how tired and weak you look, he’s scared. Why are you sick?? What does he do? You’ll be okay, right? Although he can help out whole countries, he can’t heal people. He can’t heal you. How is he so useless when it comes to this?? It was a struggle the first time, that's for sure. 

However, as time moved forward, he learned how to take care of you, as you did him, when you ever got ill. He owes you his life, after all, and he’d lovingly do whatever you asked. He will take care of you, sharing the joy and appreciation he felt for you since the first time you both met. 

That’s why when another fever fell, he wasn’t as worried as he was the first time. Obviously, he was still concerned, you never got this hot, you never looked this weak– but he knows you will get better. He will help you get better.

You smile so lovingly, so brightly, so gently as he gives you medicine and feeds you. You can’t help the way it spreads on your face as he tells you about what new story he has to share with you. The animated way he talks when he gets into it, only to snap out of it with timid embarrassment, the way he still clumsily caresses your hair, not minding how sticky and damp it feels through the sweat. 

The way he quietly asks how you feel, the way he kisses you softly, almost as if he was worried you would break, the way he gently wipes your lips after you eat, how he worries over you, worrying if you’re sleeping okay, is your stomach sore? Your throat?? Any headache? Chills??  you can’t help but want to kiss him all over. How is he so cute??

He gives you the best medicine he can find, he makes sure the house is at a good temperature all the time, he makes sure you are as comfortable as you can be.

He’s giving you all he can, he owes you that much. He owes you so much

So why.

Why aren’t you getting better?

He doesn’t understand. He did everything he has done before, you got better then, so what’s different now?? Why does nothing seem to work??

The feeling of dread heavily climbs up him as more days go by, but your condition only seems to worsen. Why??

You seem to know something is wrong, too. You were having headaches before your fever, but you shrugged it off. You were doing your best to look better, but from the way Yuuta looked at you as the days moved forward, you know that you aren’t doing a good job. You just feel horrible. You feel like something is wrong, very very wrong.

But you can’t let Yuuta know that. 

You two promised to be together until you both grew old and wrinkly. To travel around the globe, meet new people, see new things. To live in this shabby but comforting home until nature holds it long after you two leave its warmth. To wear matching clothes, have matching trinkets. Try new foods, and enjoy old ones. 

You promised you wouldn’t leave him.

So why does it feel like you’re getting further and further away? You are right here. Right in front of him. He sees you, he sees your weak form, smells you, smelling your scent, lavender with a mix of herbs, he feels you, your worryingly hot skin. He has you right here. So why does he feel that way? 

You’re not leaving him, right? You wouldn’t. He would never let you. He owes you his life. His life, his whole being is yours, so why won’t you get better? He’s doing his best, please know he is doing his best, so don’t go. He doesn’t think he can live anymore without you by his side.

He knows he needs to find a healer right away when you sleep more. The way your breath is so, so heavy as wheezes leave your mouth. You’ve lost so much weight, you are more in a daze than you are not. He hears you when he leaves the room, the way you croak about how sorry you were and how sore everything was.

Oh no no no nononono, "No dear, no, don’t apologize," he loves you dearly, can’t you see? He’d give you the world if you asked. He will do anything for you, so just get better. Okay? He will get you the best healer alive, okay??

You barely understood what he was saying when he told you that he wouldn’t leave your side. Your mind was so groggy. Everything hurt, and you could barely stomach food, drinking was becoming hard too. Everything was spinning, and you couldn’t help but feel both scalding hot and freezing cold simultaneously. You were so tired. Gods, so so tired.

Yuuta can’t help but cry sometimes as he sees you now. He can see you changing. Leaving. A fellow mage he knows is on their way. The letter said they should be there in less than a week. They’re an amazing healer, they’re known for their miracles, so they will help you. They will.

He should be happy, help is on the way! But when he looks at you, he doesn’t know if that will be good enough. They should be here now. He feels like a child throwing a tantrum. 

Tears of frustration and angry sobs leave him. He doesn’t get it. What the hell is going on? Why is this happening?? You’re leaving him. You're so sick, why can’t he help? He is useless and is fucking up every second as you’re still not better. Why can’t you get better? Did he do something wrong and your mad at him? He’s sorry. He’s really really sorry, so please stop this and get better, please? Go back to normal, pretty please?? Please stop.

He lays his head next to you, too anxious that he might make you feel uncomfortable with his body heat if he gets too close. When your gazes meet, a worried look versus a muddled one, he can’t help himself from crying. "Oh, love," he’d take this all away from you if he could. He’s trying, he’s really fucking trying. Please know that he’s trying so hard.

Gripping your hand, tenderly kissing it, he gently sings the songs you two would love to sing. Your weak smile, your awfully quiet hums, they hurt him. Where did your brightness go? Your energy? "Oh, my dear," he will get you better. You have to. 

But you don’t. 

He doesn’t know what happened. You fell asleep, still gently smiling, he even slept next to you tonight. His palm was on your chest, feeling your heart's scarily slow and calm thumps, but it will be okay. Help is almost here.

It should have been okay. 

But, as he awoke, he felt something was wrong. Stiffening, he slowly moves his gaze to his palm. Why can’t he feel anything? Why can’t he feel any thumping?

He suddenly is aware of just how stiff you are, how you seem cooler than before… How you aren’t waking up.

Hey, wake up.

Yuuta sits up quickly, tenderly shaking you at first, “C’mon, dear, wake up.” He says. 

No movement. 

As more minutes pass, his grip tightens. He shakes harder, speaks louder until he is eventually screaming for you to ‘Wake up! Wake up, please!’

Panic is all that runs through him. This is wrong. This isn’t supposed to happen. 

No, no no nonono this can’t be happening. This isn’t happening.

Ah.

You’re just sleeping! That’s right. You’ve looked so exhausted lately, you must be taking a deep rest, that’s all! Of course!

He lets out a chuckle, of course! How could he be so stupid. You used to sleep a lot in the past when you were sick, you will wake up soon. No, no you won’t, you’re dea– 

He lovingly strokes your hair before going to grab some medicine.  

That’s right, you’re all okay. Everything is okay. 

The healer should be here any day now, any day. Soon. So soon, then you will be okay. 

Yuuta can’t help but smile tenderly when he looks at your face, it’s stiff why is it stiff–

Leaning over, he presses a kiss on your forehead.