#madisnorm

“C’mon, let’s take a polaroid together to commemorate this day,” you urged Satoru on. It was your anniversary with the sorcerer. “But whyyy?” he had jokingly whined back then, “You can look at me every day!” You rolled your eyes, “It’s so I can keep it in my purse, dumbass.” “Fair point.” For a grown man, he sure pouted a lot. Though it was moments like these that you cherished in your heart and mind, more than anything. “In that case I want another one, for my wallet. I’ll keep our love in that photograph forever.”

The forearm that covered your eyes was drenched by your never-ending tears. You held the polaroid you had taken back then in your other hand, clutching it so tightly to your chest – as if the treasured photograph would merge with your aching heart, pick up the broken pieces and mend it if you did so.

Loving did indeed hurt. If anyone had told you about this kind of pain a year ago, you wouldn’t have believed them. You loved him so, so much. You really did. And maybe he loved you just as much. But it couldn’t go on like this. Not anymore. Not when he made you cry your heart out like this..

Bit by bit, you started to remove yourself from his life. It started off slowly. You stopped initiating conversations. You stopped waiting for him to come home at night. You stopped texting him when you thought of him. You stopped caring as much as you used to. Yet, you stayed with him. For memories’ sake, you told yourself but deep down you knew you were hoping.

And eventually, the thread would snap.

“You don’t get it, Satoru! This no longer feels like you love me,” you sobbed, “I feel estranged from someone who’s supposed to be my significant other!!” The tone in your voice got louder and more desperate. “YES, maybe I’m insane for wanting to leave you, and maybe you’re right but I don’t know… it just hurts a fucking lot, you know that? Being the one who is shut out of the other’s thoughts and feelings.”

At some point, you clearly remembered, it got better for some reason. And then you started to think that maybe he needed you. Nevertheless, the fleeting imagination vanished just as easily as it appeared and once again, the pressing weight came crashing down on you.

“Although you’re here with me, it feels like there’s always an arm’s length between us,” you confessed. It was the last thing you said to him, quickly pushing the treasured photograph into his hands. Then you left in a haste, not wanting him to see you cry any longer. Of course, the bastard couldn’t let you have that kind of privacy and gave chase. It didn’t take him long to catch up, trapping you in-between his arms from behind.

“I’m sorry. All I ever wanted was to protect you by not pulling you into the mess that is my life too much. That’s why I barely told you anything. It was never my intention to harm you, yet I was the one who hurt you the most… I’m so sorry, Y/N. If… if you will let me, I’ll do better. I promise.” “You won’t hurt me again?” you asked sceptically. “I swear I won’t. Your name is already etched on my heart; I won’t give up on you. “How can I trust you?” “I’ll… I’ll prove it to you. Promise. Just… please give me another chance,” he swore. Like an oath. “Okay. I’ll trust you one… last time then.”