#maddwinter

this is what i use, i’m only sharing what i experience as i experience it. it might me different for everyone, but i hope this helps 💙

COPING WITH BEING A MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMER ITSELF + FEELINGS OF ISOLATION AND/OR LONELINESS * paradise / coldplay * oh ms believer / twenty one pilots * soon / thumbelina * astronaut / simple plan

LOST PARAS/MOURNING/GRIEVING/PARACOSMIC NOSTALGIA * how does a moment last forever (montmartre) * shouldn’t come back / demi lovato * dark paradise / lana del rey [warning: this song tends to trigger extremely depressing daydreams, i only resort to this when i’m already feeling significantly sad) * colors (stripped) / halsey * the house that built me / miranda lambert * danny boy / declan galbraith (can be interpreted as parent and child or separated sweethearts relationship) * bottom of the ocean / miley cyrus * talking to the moon / bruno mars * never grow up / taylor swift *

SAD ROMANCE + BITTERSWEET LOVE + WORKING IT OUT * sorry / halsey * almost is never enough / ariana grande ft. nathan skyes * just give me a reason / p!nk and nate ruess * wildest dreams / taylor swift * need you now / lady antebellum * the heart wants what it wants / selena gomez * she will be loved / maroon 5 * hey there delilah / plain white t’s * what to do / demi lovato * the last time / taylor swift ft. gary lightbody * someone like you / adele * back to december / taylor swift * cosmic love / florence and the machine * heart attack / demi lovato * daylight / maroon 5

FALLING IN LOVE + HAPPY ROMANCE * mirrors / justin timberlake * summertime sadness / lana del rey * look at me / carrie underwood * love alone / katelyn tarver * if you told me to / hunter hayes * come on get higher / matt nathanson * when i look at you / miley cyrus * wanted / hunter hayes * everything has changed / taylor swift ft. ed sheeran * a thousand years / christina perri * all of me / john legend * catch me / demi lovato * fearless / taylor swift * marry you / bruno mars * begin again / taylor swift * i see the light / tangled * young love / kip moore * death of a bachelor / panic! at the disco * ours / taylor swift * let me be your wings / thumbelina * more than miles / brantley gilbert * a year without rain / selena gomez * bright / echosmith * state of grace / taylor swift * without you / lana del rey [warning: comes with feelings of dependence on paras, may break the fourth wall] * drive / halsey * starlight / taylor swift * if i lose myself / onerepublic * salvatore / lana del rey * can’t help falling in love / ingrid michaelson or twenty one pilots or céline dion or elvis (the original singer) * malibu / miley cyrus

LUST + PASSION + NONVIOLENT SEXUAL VIBES + SEXUALLY CHARGED RELATIONSHIP * treacherous / taylor swift * pillowtalk / zayn * take me to church / hozier (especially sinful vibes with this one, watch out) * wildfire / demi lovato * casual affair / panic! at the disco * lust for life / lana del rey (seriously recommend this song, not only is it aesthetically pleasing and sexy but it’s also full of hope and general positive inspiration) * miss jackson / panic! at the disco * criminal / britney spears * crazy in love / sofia karlburg or beyoncé * stars dance / selena gomez *

HEARTBREAK + AFTERMATH/END OF A LOVE STORY + ROMANTIC REGRET (NONVIOLENT) * already gone / kelly clarkson * jar of hearts / christina perri * paper doll / john mayer * goodbye / miley cyrus * mine would be you / blake shelton * when i was your man / bruno mars

FEELING LOW/DIRTY/DEPRESSED + UNHEALTHY TEMPTATIONS * hold me down / halsey * ballad of mona lisa / panic! at the disco * gasoline / halsey * teen idle / marina and the diamonds * SAIL / AWOLNATION * habits / tove lo * chandelier / sia

ABUSE + VIOLENCE + TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS + HURTS TO LOVE YOU * set fire to the rain / adele * trouble / halsey * grenade / bruno mars * wild one / i am harlequin * nicotine / panic! at the disco * dear john / taylor swift * stay / rihanna ft. mikky ekko * i’m low on gas and you need a jacket / pierce the veil (super emo, suicidal vibes, highly emotional and poetic lyrics) * love the way you lie / rihanna (there are 2 parts, i personally prefer part 2) * teddy bear / melanie martinez (her music generally tends to focus on children’s lifestyle which can be creepy and seem pedophilic and i have mixed feelings about her but this one is kinda okay. just warning you in case you’re sensitive to it) * dollhouse / melanie martinez (same with this one, i actually really like this one) * cold as you / taylor swift

RECOVERING FROM ABUSE/TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS + RECOVERING FROM GENERAL DEPRESSIVE STATE (can also work non-madd) * clean / taylor swift * i’m not a robot / marina and the diamonds * if i die young / the band perry (it’s a reminder of the aftermath of suicide) * warrior / demi locator * human / cher lloyd * human / christina perri (they’re different songs) * fight song / rachel platten * try / colbie caillat (on female body image and standards) * scars to your beautiful / alessia cara (also female body image and standards) * wide awake / katy perry * saturn / sleeping at last * lovely / twenty one pilots * carry on / fun

YOU’RE MY HOME + FAMILY OF FRIENDS + PLATONIC ROMANCE + JUST HANGING OUT (with a hint of friends with benefits) * sweater weather / the neighborhood * love / lana del rey * she looks so perfect / 5 seconds of summer * team / lorde * we are young / fun * this is what makes us girls / lana del rey * tennis court / lorde * 22 / taylor swift * LA devotee / panic! at the disco * holy ground / taylor swift * forest / twenty one pilots * royals / lorde * new romantics / taylor swift * i’m yours / jason mraz * house of gold / twenty one pilots * castle on the hill / ed sheeran

ASCENDANCE + FEMME FATALE + FEELING POWERFUL/DANGEROUS * castle / halsey * how to be a heartbreaker / marina + the diamonds * heathens / twenty one pilots * blank space / taylor swift * dangerous woman / ariana grande * control / halsey * can’t be tamed / miley cyrus * national anthem / lana del rey * primadonna girl / marina and the diamonds * centuries / fall out boy * emperor’s new clothes / panic at the disco * circus / britney spears * music to watch boys to / lana del rey * defying gravity / idina menzel * homewrecker / marina and the diamonds * off to the races / lana del rey

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an extra bit of advice:

-follow up a series of dark/sad themes with a few happier themes -try not to engage in the violent/depressing themes, but i know sometimes it’s just too hard to resist, so when you just *have* to daydream violence and the like, if it gets too intense for your health, cut off the music, take a little break, put on a happier song even if you don’t feel like listening to one yet -please turn the volume down, darling -drink water!! take breaks -if you cry, it’s okay

yeah i’ve noticed that :( it’s probably cause it looks like flesh.

4. What kind of daydreams do you have when you’re trying to sleep?    This is probably silly but since I’m lying down already this tends to be when my characters are sick or hurt and need comforting from their family/friends

7. Do you have a bunch of different universes or just one big universe?    I have three main ones and then sometimes temp ones that are just for momentary amusement

16. 10 facts about your characters who are less than 20 years old?      Well most of my characters have aged beyond that now. I’m sorry but my young characters aren’t really fleshed out and I’m afraid to even attempt this.

23. Do you have an idealized version of yourself in your daydreams?Oh hell, yes. I have a parame in each verse but Shaka is like my main main. She’s pretty messed up but she’s strong and brave and fearless and self-sacrificing and a good speaker and leader and loud about her beliefs. Everything I wish I was.

so it seems that a lot of maladaptive daydreamers, especially linear daydreamers, have a para (other than the parame, if a parame is present) that is so vital to their daydreams that the paracosm would fall apart without them. this para tends to be much clearer and more developed the rest of the cast, and features a strong relationship with the main para/parame. some of you might know what i'm talking about right away. it's that one para we describe as our main reason for holding on to madd, because we don't want to lose them.

(most of these are meant to inspire long, in-depth answers, but feel free to answer however you wish. whatever makes you feel comfortable!)

1. Do you use a repetitive motion to stimulate daydreams (rocking, pacing, etc.)? What is it/are they? Can you daydream without repetitive movement?

2. Do your daydreams get violent? How do you feel about them? How do you respond to them?

3. When are your daydreams the happiest?

4. Do you daydream in first person perspective? Do you have a parame/avatar?

5. Do you have (a) linear daydream(s)? How long has it/have they been running?

6. How did you discover you had madd? How do you feel about it?

7. How do you feel about your characters/paras? Have you ever fallen in love with them?

8. Do you know any other MD’ers personally?

9. How did you feel about it before you knew what maladaptive daydreaming was? Did you think it was something everybody does or that you were unique?

10. What most influences your daydreams? Realtime events? Books? Movies?

(note: i’m aware some are more comfortable with terms like character or person, but for simplicity i have elected to use the term “para.” please, feel free to respond with the terms you prefer.)

11. If you have a parame, please describe them. Are they much like you? How do you feel about them?

12. Do you have favorite paras? Why are they your favorites?

11. How old are the majority of your paras?

12. If you could give your paras any advice, what would you tell them?

13. Do your paras appear in a style other than realistic? For example, like anime or in the style of a video game?

14. Do you have OCs?

15. Are any of your paras adopted from existing fiction? From real life?

16. Where do you get names for your paras?

17. Do your paras have tragic backstories? Will you share a few?

18. Are any of your paras deceased? How did they die? How did you feel?

19. Are your paras human? Mortal?

20. Have any of your paras ever completely disappeared/vanished from the daydream world? Is there a story behind it or was it an unconscious occurrence? Do you think they might return? Do you want them to?

21. Have your characters commit crime? Have they been to jail? Are they legally innocent? Are they socially innocent?

22. Do your paras often find themselves in dangerous situations? How/why? Do they go looking for trouble? Does trouble look for them?

23. What do you associate with your paras? Colors? Smells? Words?

24. Has a para ever broken your heart? Have you ever broken theirs (through a parame)?

25. Has a para ever made you physically cry?

26. Do you act out your daydreams? Do you speak to/through your paras out loud?

27. Have you ever been caught daydreaming?

28. What do you most dislike about being a maladaptive daydreamer? Are there things you like about it?

29. Briefly describe a daydream.

30. Do you daydream to music? Is music a necessity to daydream? Do you wear headphones? How loud do you keep the volume?

31. Do you have models/faceclaims for your paras?

32. Does daydreaming energize or exhaust you?

33. Do you think there is a pattern/correlation between your daydreams and how you daydream them? For example, are your daydreams more violent when you’re lying down?

34. Do you have distinct daydream triggers? Do your daydreams come and go as they please?

35. Does your mood affect the amount of time you spend daydreaming? Or their intensity?

36. Have you ever had daydream block? How did you feel? How did you break it?

37. Have you ever had abusive paras? If it is not too sensitive to share, will you tell us about your experience with them?

38. Do your paras directly affect you in thisverse? Do you only interact with them in fictional scenarios or do you find yourself reaching for them in realtime, too? For example, do you converse with them mentally when facing a difficult situation?

39. Do you only daydream fantasy? Do you dream about thisverse?

40. Do you do research for your daydreams? How much? How often? How deep?

41. What was your first maladaptive daydreaming experience? Do you remember it? How did you feel about it?

42. When did you know what you did was different?

43. Do you ever daydream through the perspectives of paras of the opposite sex? How is it?

44. Do you experience any confusion between fantasy and reality? Does daydreaming leave you in a haze or in a dazed state?

45. If you have a parame, do you experience any dysphoria because of them? 

46. Do you ever rewind your daydreams and re-daydream old material?

47. Do you remember your daydreams in detail?

48. Do you edit your daydreams? To what extent? How often/how much does your brain block you from controlling things?

49. Do you get excited when you see or hear a para’s name in thisverse? When you see someone who looks like them? When you see something you associate with them?

madd moodboards: paras: alexandra thorne

PURPLE = I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.
TEAL = We have a lot in common.

CINNAMON = You’re a really cool person and admire you from afar.

MAUVE = You are really talented

BLUSH = Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better.

TANGERINE = I love your aesthetic

BURGUNDY = I get excited when I see posts from you

asdfghjkl a lot of HAPPINESS thank you love :’)