Church: TO THE PERSON WHO KEEPS STEALING MY SANDWICH (TURKEY AND HAM ON RYE): THIS IS RIDICULOUS. WE ARE G03LMS, NOT PUPS. PLEASE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS AND STOP STEALING FROM OTHER PEOPLE!
Jorge: I HAVE YOUR PRECIOUS SANDWICH. IT IS SAFE. PUT 20 DOLLARS IN THE FRIDGE OR YOU WILL NEVER SEE IT UNDIGESTED AGAIN.
Church: PLEASE JUST GROW UP AND RETURN MY SANDWICH! THIS IS HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL! IF I FIND OUT WHO IS DOING THIS I WILL NOT HESITATE TO CALL HR!
Jorge: EVERY HOUR YOU REFUSE MY DEMANDS I TAKE ANOTHER BITE OF THIS SANDWICH. PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
MERC Captain: Hi, this is Joshua, your higher-up. Please return the sandwich and we won't investigate the matter any further.
Jorge: BUY ME A PIZZA.
MERC Captain: No.
Jorge: BY THE WAY. . . I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO EAT IT! I AM JUST CHEWING IT UP AND SPITTING IT OUT. HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
Church: YOU ARE THE WORST!
Jorge: OH, MY DEAR CHURCH, I AM SO VERY FAR FROM BEING THE WORST. THE FLAWS OF GRUNTKIND CANNOT BE JUDGED ON A SIMPLE SPECTRUM LIKE THAT. YOU LASH OUT AT SUCH PETTINESS, BUT IGNORE THE HIDEOUSNESS OF NEVADA AT LARGE. THER IS A HUNGER, MY DEAR CHURCH, A HUNGER THAT IS SPREADING FROM THE DEEPEST, DARKEST PITS OF THIS HELLISH CORPORATE CHASM. THE SANDWICH IS THE BIRTHCRY OF A NEW ERA, AND WHEN THE REVELUTION COMES, PITIFUL VAGRANTS LIKE YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO BE DEVOURED.
MERC Captain: Hi, Joshua again. Jorge, we've checked the warehouse's printer queue and traced the requests to you. Could you please come see me at your earliest convinience.
Jorge: I AM SORRY, PLEASE DO NOT FIRE ME.
