#madchin

She couldn’t scream. It just wouldn’t come out.

The noises she made were more described as muffled groans and intense sobs.Tears were streaking down her cheeks and she felt as if her rib cage was cracking underneath her skin from how quietly she retained control over her vocal expression of pain. She felt swollen and blown up like a balloon, then catered out to doctors who made huffing examples of how to breathe, looking like bloated monkeys with air in their cheeks. She saw this whole shuffle as ridiculous, how they just scrambled around over a women going through extensive pain and treated her like a bomb. She figured she should have just had him at home, could almost feel the calm, positive silence of it as she squeezed the bed sheets so tightly, she could feel the mattress ripping beneath her grip.

“Caden…” she breathed, her hand reaching out as she fought tears, a small, embarrassed peek of a smile crawling onto her lips as she felt his skin embrace into hers. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it hard, her eyes closing as her face scrunched with another push.

“Get him out, get him out, get him out,” she whispered insistently, desperation soaked deep into her eyes as they burst open and into Urchin’s blue oasis. It’s all they’d wanted for what felt like forever now, each day past the original due date like gambling; exciting and nerve-racking and just a matter of time before something extreme took place.

For all the pain that washed through her every crevice, she couldn’t decide if she’d hit the jackpot yet. It just didn’t feel right. It felt like fighting, it felt like war. Her silent panic just hurt her heart and all the limbs she owned. Any minute now, she’d just explode, the pain expanding within, the tears flooding from her helplessly. They’d been waiting for this day and Maddie just couldn’t wait til it was over.

“Here he comes!” she heard, a strangled groan of relief escaping her as more tears surged.

“Another push, you can do it!”

She couldn’t breathe when she heard that.

You can do it.

Those words printed in bright letters to the back of her eyelids and she just cried harder.

They sunk into skin, lived within her soul and danced with her heart.

You can do it.

Maddie realized how much doubt she carried. She realized how she’d been told ever since she could remember listening, that she couldn’t, when she was living proof she could.

The world just terrified her so much. And she was being given a wealth of opportunity to fail. And that’s always what she’d been prepared to do. But now, with all of this on the line, there was something to do it all for. And she could hear people who truly believed in her tell her, she could do it.

She never realized how much she needed those four words.

“You can do it, babe,” she felt Urchin say, his voice melting into her like a blessing.

She nodded along, jaw tense, and knew it herself.

She could do this.

Like the miracle he was, he screamed for her, and the sound echoed like bells. Her head fell back and Maddie couldn’t believe she still had more tears left in her. She sobbed and felt Caden’s hand leave her momentarily, the sound of happy, chattering blurring into deluded words. She kept her eyes shut and didn’t open them until she felt Caden’s hand returned on her, running back through her long, gold hair. She blinked them open, battling through the liquid that no longer burdened her with quantity.

And that’s when she knew she’d hit the jackpot.

He glowed and she smiled in awe, in an unfaltering amazement. She couldn’t believe it, but she cried more. And carefully, he was placed in her arms.

Maddie wasn’t really sure what was home anymore, but if she could have put a person down as an address, she’d choose him, a million times she’d choose him. She barely knew this little guy and she loved him more than she had ever loved herself over the entire course of her life. He was bright pink and confused and crying and so tired and she just knew. She knew that this was the reason she’d been put on this earth. She felt like it all finally made sense.

“Hello,” she whispered over him, laughing in between her breaths.

Everything about him was perfect and it was just the beginning, just the first damn chapter.

She shook her head and had to tear her eyes away to find Caden’s above them both, locking them there for a moment in an unspoken agreement. This baby was their world. Against all odds, they would live every waking moment to give this baby everything they never had. They said it time and time again over the course of these past few months, but Maddie could tell they meant it now. They had their purpose.

“Against all odds?” she got out weakly, eyelids heavy.

“Against all odds,” he agreed.

Caden: “waffles and ketchup could probably taste good…” he said softly coming to his girlfriend’s defense.

Maddie felt tense from head to toe. Her hands were shaking under the table and her face was turning red. She couldn’t even look up, couldn’t even give him a glare to warn him of her rage. He promised he wouldn’t tell, and even if he was only hinting at the subject matter, she was pissed he would dare come this close. He was supposed to be her friend and he continuously was throwing her under the bus. Sure, she needed to tell Urchin, but here? In front of everyone? Angry, hot tears burst like lava from her eyes, and she felt like a boiling volcano as she struggled to get up out of her seat, tossing her napkin down over her food in swift, loud movements. “Just stop it, August! It’s not funny anymore.” Her cheeks burned with embarrassment and she turned around, hair flipping back behind her, before exiting the diner. Once the door was open, she broke, gasping for breath in the thick, humid, rainy air. Her hands slid up into her scalp and she tried to will herself back to normal, tried not to cry. She had cried so much lately and she just wanted to stop. She just need it all to stop.

Caden: turned looking at the girl next to him. He saw her face and knew something was wrong. A rage of his own started to fill Caden. Yes, he knew August had a habit of being a complete asshole. He didn’t mind when the comments were being thrown his way but maddie was a different story. If someone even dared look at maddie the wrong way the blonde wouldn’t hesitate to put his two cents in. Biting his lip Caden held his tongue looking back up at the gang. He thought everything was going to simmer down, but he was very wrong. Right before his eyes Maddie blew up and that’s when he knew something was very wrong. “Maddie!” he called standing up. A frustrated groan came from Caden’s lips as he turned to August. “What the fuck is your problem, gus!? God dammit!” He spat turning on his heels and running after his girlfriend. Caden was never one to curse, but in that moment he just felt so…so angry that someone would make /his/ maddie get upset like that. Call him over protective but the last thing he wanted to do was she her upset. Trying to keep up with Maddie the boy picked up his pace until he found himself outside. His breathe’s were short as he tried to catch it as he carefully made his way to the girl. Placing his hands on her shoulder Caden made Maddie look at him. “Mads, look at me what’s going on?” He asked panting.

Maddie knew he’d follow her. She was waiting for him to come crashing through those glass doors and when it happened, she cried harder, feeling brand new pressure to tell him. He loved her and when he came out, chased her down, it was the last test for her to be positive he was as steady as a rock, her own rock to keep her in place. Standing there, she almost wished he hadn’t come, because the next part meant she had to fight past this giant, lump in her throat and utter the words she’d kept hidden for these past few weeks. “Urchin, I can’t—I can’t be here. I ruined everything and we’re just kids—we can’t.” The tears were involuntary completely, but they still fell, dropping down as the rain hit the ground roughly next to them. She drifted off, slipping out of his reach and walking into the parking lot, her hands finding her hair again as she stressed. Her heart just kept racing and now the rain began to coat over her skin. She turned around to face him, looking broken when she reached out for his hand. Her lips trembled and it was hard to even ask. “How much do you love me?”

Caden: placed his hands on Maddie’s cheeks. His thumbs gingerly graced over her skin wiping away every and any tear that fell. For the longest time Caden just stood there. There were no words that could come to mind. Caden was lost he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t even know what was going on. All he knew is that there was something troubling maddie and he was going to put the pieces back together one by one if he had to. “Honey, what are you talking about? You didn’t ruin anything…We can’t what?” Urchin kept wiping away the tears until he couldn’t tell what were tears and what were rain drops. He simply just held Maddie’s face in his hands until she turned away. When she did it hurt him more than it should have. Why was she turning away from him? Did he do? There were millions of questions running through his mind but he had to silence them. They weren’t important right now. A sigh escaped his lips as he ran a hand through his wet blonde locks. When she grabbed his hand Urchin held it tight lacing their fingers. He furrowed his eyebrows together wondering why she’d ask such a thing. “I …I can’t even put into words how much I love you…because words aren’t good enough…I love you that much, Maddie…more than me…more than anything in this world.”

Maddie wanted him to hold her forever and look at her with this same affection he had for years to come. It was so terrifying to think think that it could all be temporary, that he could change his mind and walk away. This beautiful boy, so full of love and life, had chosen her and she felt weak trying to understand why. And maybe that was just it…maybe she wasn’t supposed to understand it. Maybe she just had to learn to accept it, especially when her feelings were mutual. She listened to his words and her eyes shut tight, soaking them in as her hair and clothes became drenched. “You always know what to say,” she whispered, sure she’d said that before so many times. Squeezing his fingers, she could feel it in her chest. It hit like lightening and she knew the words were coming soon. But still cautious, still shaking with fear, she looked pleadingly into his eyes and prepared him for news that would change both their lives so drastically. “Babe, I have to tell you something and…I don’t know how to say it so it’s just…it’s really difficult for me because I love you and I don’t want to lose you and I’ve never been so scared to lose anyone more in my entire life. You’re like…you’re my sunshine in the middle of this rain and—” she gasped for breath again, crying as she realized how fast and how passionately she’d said these words. “And I’m…I’m…”

Caden: just looked at Madellaine for the longest time. Never has he ever loved someone so much. It all felt so new to him, to have this affection, wanting to protect someone, wanting to give every fiber in your body to them and only them because they were worth it. He knew maddie was worth it. She didn't see what he saw. This beautiful girl who was like a ray of sunshine in his life taking away the darkenss he had now. She was the light of his life and it killed caden that maddie didn't see it. In that moment the blonde just wanted to hold her forever and shower her with that endless love he held for her. She needed it more than ever now. Without hesitation Urchin wrapped his long arms around maddie pulling her to his chest. He held her there for the longest time kissing her head. He didn't care that the rain was drentching every inch of his body. Let it rain, let it pour, it wouldn't stop him from holding her. He slipped his hand under her chin looking maddie right in the eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes that stopped his heart whenever they met his. The same hazel eyes that were glossy from tears in a sad beautiful way that hurt him in more ways than one. He hung onto every word she send letting them sink in and consume him as he sighed. "You're not going to lose me ever. I promise you Madellaine, i'm going to stay by you no matter what comes our way. For better or worse...you're what?"

Maddie listened to the beat of his heart as she clung to him, wishing she could live in his love for as long as earth spun. She held him there and she didn't feel so alone. For weeks, she'd felt like this whole ordeal was just pushing her farther and farther away from him. She isolated herself and now that she was finally back into his arms, right where she was meant to be, it forced her to understand that this was for the best. Everything about it felt right and she just had to take a deep breath and trust him. Madellaine, the girl who doubted everything, most importantly herself, had to believe in him. And when his fingers brought her face up to meet his, her eyelashes batting away the tears and rain, she could see her future in those baby blues. He made a family possible, a future rich in love and happiness and all she had ever wanted in a home. He was her home. And in that moment, she could see she didn't need anything else. Trusting his words, hoping he was telling the honest truth, that she would never lose him and he'd support her through it all, her lips parted once again, this time determined for the words to fall from her mouth. "I'm pregnant."