first of all, in the secret sharks rookie/prospect/fabbe reality that lives in my heart, the locker room is not merely swedish sharks mafia vs the canadian gigglers, it is also annoying blond bitches vs macklin, and "i'm just a teenager you can't get mad at me" vs fabian zetterlund. btw i just found out william eklund is 22 and now i need to go feel my feelings violently. anyway, my point is i love a sexy locker room that's not segmented by pairings and irl relationships so much as it is segmented by unlikely animal friendships and how many problems they can cause. so in my head, this is an au in which the rookies/prospects/wekky&zetts are kind of recreationally being chaotic and violent with each other and also everyone around them. tl;dr:

Which means Will or William put him up to it. Maybe Fabian, if Macklin pissed him off. Not Jack or Collin, they’re too polite.

It was Wekky baiting Macklin into admitting he didn't know how to deep throat. And then Wish and Fabian latching on to it like a hound on a bone. While Macklin may have practiced some grace and poise if it had just been ONE of them, he was not prepared to be normal and patient about getting harrassed the swedish sharks ice mafia AND his best friend in the whole entire world.

Macklin has a can-do attitude though!! And he knows who has all the answers: Professor Nico.

Bullying teenagers should be permissible under the CBA, but unfortunately the team relies on Nico to set a good example around the rookies. “Of course I know how to deepthroat. Don’t be ridiculous.”

This is a deep cut for the old caltrain heads, but when I used to write Chris Driedger and Philipp Grubauer, I would write speaking like they had a transatlantic accent wrt cadence and vocabulary. And around this sentence, I realized I was starting to do that with Nico, and I went...is this a German thing or a horny thing or do i only have about two stock characterizations in my back pocket... I feel my end solution to this was just making him an asexual sex god. Which is one way to approach this problem without actually solving it I suppose

“Toff wouldn’t know and Delly wouldn’t do it,” says Nico. He sighs. “Fine. But you’re not practicing on me.” “Why not—but you’re like, super hot—and you’re always nice to me—”

TY DELLANDREA MENTIONED!!!! anyway I didn't actually set out to write a Nico Sturm Is Asexual fic, at this point in the writing I just thought it would be way hotter to write Nico directing the action on someone else, and chose Luke Kunin for reasons.

Also Macklin's second line was really really cute to me!!! Like yeah ofc he's gonna ask Dr. Nico Sturm PhD MEd MSW, Nico knows everything and knows how to do everything well. But CRITICALLY!!! MACKLIN ALSO TRUSTS NICO TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND NOT MAKE FUN OF HIM AND BE KIND TO HIM AS HE'S LEARNING NEW THINGS!!!! And that's cute to meeeeeee

btw GMMG I am outside your house with grenade

“Oh!” says Luke. He looks at Macklin, the anxiety all over his face. He smiles. “Hey, that’s cool. Good skill to have.” One of the many great qualities about Luke is that off ice, he’s easygoing and quick to make sure the locker room remains even-keeled. Nico’s sure he sees that Macklin would never let the issue go otherwise and Nico would be haunted for the rest of year by an 18 year old determined to have sex with him because his friends told him to. Luke smiles wider when he meets Nico’s eyes. “Yeah, of course. When’s our next off day?”

the reasons I chose Luke are 1. I think he's hot; 2. I know he's packing, 3. he just really gives Guy We Can Rely On To Keep The Ship Steady. And while Macklin doesn't trust him in the same way that he trusts Nico (with deepthroating)(he'd trust Luke with problems like "I Accidentally Dropped Will's Car Keys Down A Storm Drain"), NICO trusts Luke to get what he's putting down, and knows that Luke is kind and sweet like him when the situation calls for it.

“Looking forward to it,” says Luke, saluting, and skates back down the ice to continue harassing Barclay.

As Per My Last Fanfiction

Macklin—Macklin has not calmed down all day. Nico had to pick the kid up, truly had to drag him out of Jumbo’s house, because he was nervous. He’d spent the entire car ride restless in his seats until Nico told him he could either sit still or he could touch himself and see how fast he could get off. “But I’m sure Luke would love to see it more,” he added.

TYPO SPOTTED!!!!!!!

Writing this made me laugh bc at first I imagined Nico parking outside Jumbo's house and waiting for Macklin to come slinking out. But then I started teasing that thought apart and realized it was gonna be way funnier if Macklin was literally stress-pacing in his little ensuite above Jumbo's garage or whatever, and Nico had to go into Jumbo's backyard and go haul Macklin out of the house, and walk past Jumbo with Macklin in tow, going "we're going to do some mental fitness training :)" to Jumbo, who knows exactly what that means.

And ig it can be read as Macklin is nervous about sex but to me it was honestly Macklin is nervous about failing Deepthroating Lessons with Luke specifically bc what if he sucks and Luke thinks poorly of him :( Luke's dick is so big, what if that is the last time he sees it :( He's not afraid of Nico judging him at all, because Nico's whole role is educator but Luke is so hot and hairy and what if Macklin accidentally bites his dick off and then Luke never talks to him again :(

“Hey,” says Nico, gently. “Enjoy it. That’s the best part.” Macklin looks up at him with wide eyes. Nico kisses his forehead and pushes him back into Luke’s arms.

Nico enjoys watching and Luke loves putting on a show. Macklin is floundering, 18 years old and too overwhelmed to know what to do. Luke kisses him messy and deep, palming his ass and putting a hand up the back of his shirt. When he lets go so they can take a breath, Macklin is gasping.

this might be american protestantism, or growing up in christian purity culture, or just like being an adult in my 30s, but I do think there is a sort of transition period while we as people grow into our sexuality, and grow into what we like/want/need, and grow into what sex acts we like/don't like/tolerate -- and what our boundaries around those are. For Macklin, this right here is just kissing but also he's a lil guy!! Surrounded by grown ass men!! He's still learning what he likes/wants/needs and he certainly doesn't know his body or himself in the same ways Luke and Nico do, particularly as it pertains to sex! And like, yuall if I was 18 and Luke Kunin was kissing me senseless,,,, there is something so intensely disarming being with people who know their body and know what they like and know what they want with you..straight up you do not get that experience with other teenagers and Macklin's out here like oh my god I am but one medium-tall Sharks prospect and a hot man is kissing me and I don't know what to doooo

And Nico being like hey. it's ok. I'll tell you what to do. You'll be fine, I'm here, I'll make sure you don't feel like you're alone, I am using positive reinforcement (kisses) so you know you're doing a good job.

Luke having the time of his life obvi, he gets to put on a show and he gets to Nico telling a guy EXACTLY what Luke likes, honestly a dream situation for Luke. doesn't even matter if Macklin is unsure or awkward, he's literally living the dream of having a guy tell another guy how to get him specifically off.

I will not delve too deeply into the sex acts bc most of that boils down to: I thought it would be funny and/or hot. But this one:

When Luke has Macklin pressed against a wall, riding one of Macklin’s legs with his face in Macklin’s neck – Nico is very proud of both of them – Nico baps Luke in the back of the head, hard.

Pondering how they are frequently listed at the same height and in the same weight class and like u know I love height difference but there's something so intensely satisfying about writing two men who just fit bc they're are so similar in build. Like I didn't have to think as much about chest to waist ratios or anything, they just fit :)

"Baps" is because it made me laugh. also I couldn't really think of a better word other than "hits" but "hits" was too violent for the scene and not really the tone I wanted to set going into the blowjob part.

Nico takes off his shirt, mostly because he likes torturing both of them and he knows what he looks like. He sits down on the floor behind Macklin, his legs bracketing Macklin on his knees.

"Why does Nico take off his shirt when the entire scene is Macklin on Luke's dick" well here's the thing Nico knows what he's got and he knows how to use it and while there is no universe in which Luke is in anyway turned off by Macklin learning to suck his dick, it certainly HELPS to watch Macklin simultaneously get prompted how to do things AND felt up by Shirtless Smirking Nico.

Luke takes his time, which Nico approves of, because any time Macklin has to work hard for something, he gets less annoying during games.

I don't remember who wrote the article that was like Does Everyone Hate Macklin and then the only person they interviewed was Nico...but this was that vibe. Unfortunately, by transitive properties, not only did Macklin learn to deepthroat, Nico and Luke learned they can make him less annoying by having sex with him.

Macklin falls back against Nico, chest heaving. “Oh my god,” he rasps. “Holy shit. That was awesome.” He wipes his face with his palms and looks at Nico with big, bright eyes.

I've been working unlearning the concept that sex has to be narratively important or emotionally meaningful -- I think the initial dialog was more weighty and then I was like that's stupid, these are hockey players, and went with "That was awesome :D!!!!!"

cause like let's be honest!!! learning what you like in sex is awesome!! And I'm working on trying to acknowledge that and celebrate that! Let us reduce shame in not knowing and inhabit joy in learning! Um to deepthroat. yeagh

Nico pulls down Macklin’s sweats. Luke turns Macklin’s head away to look at Nico; Nico smiles at both of them. “Watch this guy,” Luke says. “You’ll learn something.”

ymmv but in the inside of my head Macklin is attempting to kiss Luke and it's SO sloppy and uncoordinated and Luke is doing such a good job at not laughing at him. But it's kind of welcome that Nico gets the REAL show on the road, bc Luke doesn't want to laugh at the kid but his face is SO soft and damp and he is SO fucked out. it's funny to Luke.

“You don’t have to look so proud of yourself,” says Luke, looking amused. “That took like, five seconds.” “No,” says Macklin. He tosses his head back against the couch and sighs. “He should. I wanna do that again.”

SEX CAN BE FUNNY AND AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

local teenager experiences blowjob by a slightly older man with years of practice and, once he recovers in about 5-7 days, he will make it his life's mission to be as good as Nico. <33

Nico kisses Macklin’s kneecap and then bites it. Macklin looks down at him. “Should I get you or—” “Not necessary,” says Nico. “Wait, really?” says Macklin.

it was at this point I realized Nico was actually asexual...in part bc I did not have the word space or patience to write more sex. But also in part bc that was how the story was developing without me knowing. And idk lately (end of last year/this year??) I've been working on untangling the vast and myriad ways we approach sex with other people and the even vaster and myraid ways we feel and experience sex, particularly within the major league sports aus that exist in my head.

And one of the things I've been working on is the concept of, I don't want to experience sex with my body but I enjoy experiencing sex with your body, and I enjoying quote unquote giving more than quote unquote receiving. Neither top nor bottom nor vers but a secret fourth thing. And like this is a to1u fic so obviously we r never going to get deep into Nico's feelings. but also ngl I am not really interested in interrogating those feelings when the end result is Nico having a kind of ethos that is: I like sex with you but not with me. And he doesn't interrogate that thought any further [relieved emoji]

He gets up and goes to the kitchen to pour some glasses of water, gives them a moment to enjoy each other alone. Maybe it’s good that Macklin has no shame and no sense, he thinks, hearing Luke’s rumbly laughter from the living room and Macklin giggling. How else is the kid going to keep up in the major leagues if he doesn’t ask for help? He sips his water, then heads back to the living room to join them.

love to, think about them having a silly little time on the couch, having sloppy make outs, Macklin feeling really pleased and proud of himself and Luke feeling very gently fond of this kid and that making HIM laugh too, esp bc he knows Macklin is going to be up for round two in about ten minutes, and both of them resting happily in that space together without Nico directing things or making them feel a certain (VERY HORNY) way, even tho Nico was calling the shots the entire time and is the reason Macklin's mouth is all red.

It is at this moment Nico enters the room and says casually, Macklin, would you like to learn how it feels to be double-penetrated? I could call Barclay?