Feb 21, 2022
A cute illustration, possibly to be turned into a greeting card in the near future.
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A cute illustration, possibly to be turned into a greeting card in the near future.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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"Pear, by Bartlett"
One of my favorite pieces, one of the first in which I tried out a more realistic approach to my art output.
Back in '99, I was given a project where the subject was Thomas Hobbes. As an unconnected project, I drew a parody comic: "Calvin and Thomas Hobbes". It was such a fun idea, I thought to update it in a digital format!
[Credit to Bill Watterson for "Calvin and Hobbes" inspiration.]
Self-portrait, made using Procreate on iPad.
@m3jcnv said: Why, what’s going on?
The tumblr update takes random posts from the tracked tags and slips them onto your dashboard, so I opted to untrack them rather than see more random posts. :P
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Regarding your Dunkin Donuts post: I'm the same way; if it's an honest mistake, I might just let it slide - give myself an opportunity to "try something new". However, there are occasions (albeit slightly rare) when I have to say something... I mean, if I didn't get what I ordered, then what did I pay for, exactly? Plus, it's more a training opportunity than a complaint, to squash future instances and thus, inevitably, termination of employment. Ultimately, though, I would have done the same.
Ugh, I really should have been like “um this is 100% not anything like what I ordered” but I was so baffled when she started pouring coffee into the cup that I just kind of took the cup in a daze and started walking away. And then I was like “well I can’t just go back and correct the mistake because now it’s too late and I’m doomed to my horrible coffee fate.”
I just cope with my social anxiety at restaurants by sticking to a basic script (and I rehearse my order in my head a million times before I get to the register, just to make sure I don’t screw it up), and when that script gets messed up I just freeze and can’t deal with it. My brain just immediately stops working and is just like “THIS WASN’T IN THE SCRIPT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.” I can’t improvise very well, even in basic situations. Like the other day Alex and I went to this new chicken restaurant by where he works, and we got there and they were like “we’re doing a charity event today, so everything is free but you can donate however much money you want to this charity for schools! We’re running a limited menu today though, so you can only order certain things.” And the idea of not having to pay for things just FUCKED UP MY BRAIN and I was like “how...how do I...food...what...” and then I got really randomly upset for no reason and almost started crying? I seriously can’t handle script changes in situations like that, it’s awful and stupid.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who would have just taken the coffee though, haha. I even drank most of it, even though I hated it (I usually drink coffee with lots of sugar, not just cream). I was basically a physical embodiment of that “this is fine” comic with the dog and the room on fire. I was the dog. The fire room was the coffee. I am a social anxiety disaster sometimes haha.
[sharing this because I’m very much pleased with how this turned out]
Like so many people out there, I have my own podcast. It’s called “Room 173 with M3JCNV” and I just posted the fourth episode, “Lords of Saunders and Time, Part One”. As the central topic to this episode is Doctor Who, I put together a “dalek opener”, where I incorporated the podcast’s central theme of “What is 173?” and intermingled it with Doctor Who.
Posted is the first three minutes of the episode, which includes the opener and the theme song to the show. If you like it, please feel free to give the show a listen - it’s a lot of fun, and I’m hoping to get better at it, as we delve further into the show. It’s on iTunes and on Pocket Casts for the Android users.
[Also, the phonetic pronunciation of “M3JCNV” is “Muhthridge Kaniv”... for those of you new to the whole thing.]
A Scene from My As-of-Yet-Unwritten Cop Drama
[crime scene - murder, actually, let's not mince words here; crowd of onlookers, held back by police tape, semi-surround uniformed officers; a forensics tech takes photographs of evidence]
[CAPTAIN stands off to the side, one hand authoritatively on his hip, the other hand up to his face; the hand holds a walkie, into which he is yelling]
CAPTAIN: Get me two more units over to the old steel mill. NOT the one from the previous case. And find out where the hell DET. MAYER is and why he's not here!
[voice of DET. MAYER startles CAPTAIN]
DET. MAYER: I'm right here, CAPTAIN.
CAPTAIN: Ah! Mayer, you startled me. Where the hell have you been?
DET. MAYER: I've been here this whole time. There was some exposition I had to weed through.
CAPTAIN: To this day, I'm afraid I'll never understand what the hell you're talking about.
DET. MAYER: [removes sunglasses] What've we got?
CAPTAIN: Were you wearing those sunglasses before?
DET. MAYER: Yes. What've we got?
CAPTAIN: This way...
[CAPTAIN and DET. MAYER make their way to the center of the crime scene; a middle-aged man in a dog costume lies on the ground, a downed tree pinning him to the ground... literally - one of the branches has impaled the guy]
CAPTAIN: A Mr. Jim Lee Soon. Aged forty-two years.
DET. MAYER: What's with the outfit?
CAPTAIN: Sources claim the victim was employed by one of those "rent-a-cartoon-for-your-birthday-party" agencies. For this gig, the clients wanted that cute cartoon dog from that classic comic strip series.
DET. MAYER: I thought that dog was white...
CAPTAIN: Cheap knock-offs. That's the kind of thing you get, with those agencies.
DET. MAYER: How'd the vic die?
CAPTAIN: Witnesses claim Mr. Jim Lee Soon seemed to be running from something. He looked to be climbing the tree - for safety? we don't know - but unfortunately the tree could not hold his weight, the trunk snapped, and the results sit in front of you.
DET. MAYER: Hm.
CAPTAIN: What is it?
DET. MAYER: Was just thinking... looks like he barked up the wrong tree.
CAPTAIN: Really, Mayer?
DET. MAYER: Too soon?
CAPTAIN: Now that's just vulgar! I can't stay in this scene any longer!
[CAPTAIN storms out, he-]
CAPTAIN: Nope! Don't you dare dictate how I leave this scene, you!
DET. MAYER: CAPTAIN... you alright?
[CAPTAIN keeps wal-]
CAPTAIN: What'd I say! You don't have a say in what I do or say! You hear me?
[CAPTAIN smacks himself in the face]
CAPTAIN: Ow!
DET. MAYER: Did you just... smack yourself in the face?
CAPTAIN: Not by choice!
[CAPTAIN is suddenly a duck, wearing a fez, and suspenders]
CAPTAIN: Now, that doesn't even make any sense!
DET. MAYER: What doesn't make any sense, CAPTAIN?
CAPTAIN: That I'm a duck, wearing a fez and suspenders!
DET. MAYER: Haven't... haven't you always been a duck wearing a fez and suspenders?
[yes]
CAPTAIN: No!
DET. MAYER: Sir, do you need me to call someone for you?
CAPTAIN: I mean, how do the suspenders even work in this scenario? To what are they suspending?!?
[DET. MAYER turns away from CAPTAIN; he speaks softly into his walkie]
DET. MAYER: I'm going to need someone to help escort CAPTAIN away from the crime scene.
VOICE ON WALKIE: Roger.
DET. MAYER: Roger, is that you?
ROGER: Yes.
DET. MAYER: Please let Delores know I absolutely loved the five-layer dip from the party Saturday. And let her know I'll be begging for that recipe.
ROGER: Roger.
[DET. MAYER turns back to CAPTAIN; two uniformed officers are helping CAPTAIN move away from the crime scene; CAPTAIN is making noise and carrying on; the uniformed officers put him in the back of their cruiser; the officers drive away from the crime scene]
DET. MAYER: This job... it's not all it's quacked up to be.
GHOST OF JIM LEE SOON: [snorts] Nice!
[DET. MAYER and GHOST OF JIM LEE SOON high-five]
[end of scene]
