Jul 24
Friday night
Cream pie
Dark outside
Blue night sky
He says my name in his sleep
We play videogames
And hide and seek
Sunday mornings
Board games with some friends
Watch a horror movie
Next week
Do it all over again
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Friday night
Cream pie
Dark outside
Blue night sky
He says my name in his sleep
We play videogames
And hide and seek
Sunday mornings
Board games with some friends
Watch a horror movie
Next week
Do it all over again
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Yesterday I arranged things at home. I can feel autumn in the air now. I took away sad dry leaves from the tomato plants given from mom. Cleaned up some more and vacuumed the floor on the balcony. Sprayed every leaf with water. Took down some things I had hung up, during spring. You can feel it in the wind now, everything is a tad bit more dramatic.
We also organized with other things. Some of the books we have been thinking to give away. We stashed them partly to make room for new ones.
We cleaned out the linen closet. Glass ware. And so on.
We also got a new hand vacuum cleaner that is perfect for the couch.
And then we have washed curtains and hung up new ones from IKEA to separate the living room from the kitchen more. I chose crispy white. He thought it was a really good choice. I think white is sometimes like a pause from everything. I'm very much into color theory. I think I have always been good at it, but now I have a language for it.
Most books that was on my list have been read. We have been visiting my birds. Seeing friends. We both have curated our closets.
I cannot tell you how much I look forward to autumn. I want to visit my mother once more in this summer. And hang out with my cousins.
I spoke more to my dad and he's alright. He's just been busy like I had hoped and assumed.
It feels like everyone's ok. And I can focus on my own life. And that feels so sweet and innocent.
Love
Sunday the 19th of July. Game Sunday.
We finally had game Sunday again. It was great to meet T. We've had so much to do lately. He's been busy too. But it's one of our favorite traditions. Today we don't just play, we watched a movie too. My husband baked and we had coffee, tea and coke with it. We got back a few days ago from our vacation. It felt nice to meet the family. We bathed in the ocean, ate lots of great food and just relaxed. It was well needed. Some days we woke up 11 am. I have a new thing for espresso. I have a shot with pastries. Less sugar that way. We have organized, talked about where we'd want to live in M. Even if that's in the future, it feels nice. Also finished with some books on my kindle. And still have some unfinished. I made him read one of my favorite books, A Room With a View. He said he really liked it. And as we went shopping we found a DVD of the movie they made based on its novel 1986. The character George reminds me so much of Him. He said Lucy reminds him of me. My mother said that I reminded her of the character in Girl With Pearl Earring. Because I have something innocent over me. People always tell me that. And that I reminded them of the character in queens gamle? Haven't seen it. So can't say. But George is very romantic and intense. I love that. I found the necklace I was given in the 90's with my name on it. Gave it to Him. He's been wearing it every day. Anyways! Recommend people to read the oldies! Pick up a copy of A Room With a View. Let romance live.
I miss you.
Mood
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Big boobs.
No bra.
Short shorts.
Pale skin.
Waiting here
Tired
Leaning up against a wall.
Short breath
Hard to breathe
My mother sent me flowers
I'm losing weight
He's losing sleep
Funny how it feels better than for ages
All that negativity
contagious
He looks at me like I'm the sun and the moon
Hypes me up
And in my tenderness
my ego turns big as the moon
He carries a necklace with my name
Kisses me till I'm short of breath
but for pleasant reasons
that makes me shake
I see girls come and go
trying to catch his eye
As he only has eyes for me
Instant ego death
That makes me so wet
Can't help but to smile
He tastes of home
And feels like heaven
Always takes me home
And I since forever let him
And even as I'm weak now
I'm weak out of pleasure too
He pins me up against a wall
As he says he loves me
And I say I love you too
Hearing him say it?
Nothing has ever felt more true
I'm scared of these
feelings,
how could they
still be so intense?
The way I love you?
Want to kiss you,
forehead, cheeks,
lips.
Everywhere.
Again and again.
The way I love you?
It confuses my mind.
It's been sixteen years darling,
still butterflies when you are around.
The way I love you,
will it risk making the gods of heaven feel envy one day?
Or was it them that answered my prayers.
And sent you to me?
The way I love you?
It's 1 am,
I want to go for a run!
Know your every birthmark,
the one on your back,
on your forehead.
Your alluring scent.
I love you.
I follow you till the world will end.
I'd choose you.
Again and again.
Where wanderers meet,
eye to eye.
Weathered looks,
tired, but full of life.
Stories to tell.
Weight too heavy to carry alone.
I used to judge some wanderers,
I guess.
Back
before I knew the variety of the many different roads...
Did I see my own shadow in them?
A future me?
In the end:
No matter how beautiful the garden,
we are all destined to pick our own weeds.
-M.B.