#lysle

Lysle's final design

By nature his appearance can vary slightly but for the most part this is what he should look like.

Lysle is a part of a special faction of the Arcanāven Research Commission that explores and documents other Realms; because of that he can be inserted into any universe or timeline, and his appearance can vary slightly depending on the rules, physics, or magicks of the Realm he is currently in.

This time of year is fraught with decisions and not just what gifts to buy, who to have holiday meals with, or how to reconcile the year-end bookkeeping. Underneath all the minutia of details is often an undercurrent of deeper questions connected to that nagging sense of knowing the new year is ever so close and hoping that THIS year is THE year . . . the year to conquer all those habits that keep you from living the life you’ve imagined. Many of us start the year off strong, determined, and resolute in our goals, only to find our hopes dashed as the realities of life creep back in and resolutions fall to the side. I think it’s probably safe to say this has happened to all of us, at least once!

I think it’s a conundrum. The new year represents this major launching pad for intentional renewal and transformation but in reality is usurped by the hectic happenings that are so part of the end of the year.  Knee deep in holiday shopping, traffic, parties, family drama, and the like we hastily declare resolutions that in the end don’t even begin to reflect who we are, what we really want, or what we could reasonably achieve. Often they reflect culture, family, or what our best friend or romantic partner is doing. It’s as if all the chaos of the end of the year robs us of the chance to tune into those deeper currents of what could be (for the next year) that are rumbling within.

How do we deal with this conundrum, especially given the fact we are already in the frenzy of the holidays? How can we get tuned in so we can make more meaningful decisions/resolutions that stand the test of time? Following is a short but useful exercise to help you get in touch with your core values. Core values are deeply held beliefs that represent the essence of who we are, the truth of that inner being within. We each have our own unique set and while many may have a vague sense of what they are, clarifying and naming them can have a profound effect on decision-making. Decisions made through the lens of core values will naturally be more in line with the inner you. And, being more in line with the inner and real you brings about a more centered and happier you. It just makes sense, right?!

Try the short exercise below. Identify your core values. And, with your next dilemma, whether it’s how and who to celebrate the holidays with or a potential life-changing resolution ask yourself if it supports or goes against one of your core values. Try letting your core values act as a roadmap to guide and resolve both internal and external conflict. Experiment. Have fun with it! Even if you have to make a less favorable decision you will likely find meaning in that decision, making it, perhaps, a little more bearable. Many of my clients find that it works.

This post goes out to all those parents delving into the frenzy of fall. The following poem by Virginia Satir, a well-known psychotherapist and pioneer of family therapy, is a poignant reminder that being present is truly at the heart of raising a healthy family.  Read it, soak it in, and post it in your kitchen or family room – wherever the heart of your house it.   Let it shine light on your day, inform your conversations around the table and in the car, and gently tuck you in bed at night.  

"How different it is to be with a nurturing family! Immediately I can sense the aliveness, the genuineness, honesty and love. I feel the heart and soul present as well as the head. I feel that if I lived in such a family, I would be listened to and would be interested in listening to others, I would be considered and would wish to consider others. I could openly show my affection as well as my pain and disapproval. I wouldn’t be afraid to take risk because everyone in my family would realize that some mistakes are bound to come with my risk-taking~ that my mistakes are a sign that I am growing. I would feel like a person in my own right~ noticed, valued, loved and clearly asked to notice, value and love others. One can actually see and hear the vitality in such a family. The bodies are graceful, the facial expressions relaxed. People look at one another, not through one another or at the floor, and they speak in rich, clear voices. There is a flow and harmony in their relations with one another. Members of a nurturing family feel free to tell each other how they feel. Anything can be talked about~ the disappointment, fears, hurts, angers, criticism, as well as the joys and achievements. Nurturing families show evidence of planning, but if something interferes with the plan, they can readily make adjustments. This way they are able to handle more of life’s problems without panicking. In a nurturing family it is easy to pick up the message that human life and human feelings are more important than anything else. These parents see themselves as leaders, not bosses, and they see their job as primarily one of teaching their child how to be truly human in all situations."  -- Virginia Satir, A Healthy Family