#lying at work

I never thought that a main job description for the Hair Stylist was to be a fantastic and believable liar! Clients expect compliments and are fishing for compliments. It sometimes isn't even about what you do to their hair. It's what you say to them that is going to calm their insecurities. If you don't automatically compliment them, they always ask you things that you have to lie about. Ex. "Does it look like I lost weight? I've been working out everyday!" Honestly, the client doesn't look a millimeter thinner, but what do you have to say? You guessed it, "Of course! I can tell your <insert any appropriate body part that client is most vain about> is much smaller! You are so dedicated to going to the gym!" It's as bad as those questions the insecure girlfriend asks the boyfriend. Where you are dammed if you tell the truth, so you fucking lie. And then you better be convincing because then you're dammed because you just got caught lying!

Here's a fantastic example of what a client could ask you to put you on the spot:

Client: I look like <insert very beautiful model or actress' name>, right? Because everyone says I look like her!

What you wish you could say:Hmmm, if <insert same model or actress' name> gained thirty pounds and did a couple of botched face lifts, then why yes, you do look like her.

A non-asshole answer but it won't fly: I suppose. I guess you guys have similar features. (This answer isn't going to work because 1. the client didn't get that compliment she was wishing for 2. she's going to ask for details and you are screwed because you can't think of one damn feature that actually reminds you of said model or actress!)

The answer you must give: OMG! yes! You totally look like her! (The more enthusiasm the better!)