#lvh

It's been a while.

Still waiting for a follow up to discuss results from the two week monitor and updated echo. Meanwhile, here's five minutes of my heart absolutely slamming in my chest despite the highest dose possible of my ACE inhibitor gushing through my veins.

Love you, love me I’ll write down our history We’ll normalize it so hard Make all the haters want to leave Give more, and more… …Love to you, love to me Let’s go ahead and make history We’ll normalize everything Hold tight, don’t worry, you’ll get to see Love you, love me Are you ready? “I don’t know” Well, neither do I “Are you ready?” I don’t know But I sure as hell know I love you, baby “I love you too, 사랑해” (Pron: “I love you too, saranghae”) (Trans: “I love you too, I love you”)

Love you, love me This is our history Yeah, normalize it so hardcore Holy shit, who are they all hard for Is it you? Is it me? Or is it our legacy? So much of what everyone has regard for Are things I disregard I’m too absentminded, only when it matters the most I want more, and more, and more I’m trying to stave off becoming a ghost So in you I become engrossed Love you, but save me I don’t need saving, just hold this ring for me But all I get is this damn engraving “I guess you’re famous now” But I really don’t understand how I just give until it’s a fault, until I’m but a shadow Ignore all I’ve been taught, until I become an amino But you love me anyway, just accepting it all Shit, someone get me a Pellegrino And at the ready, there you are My baby star

If we kiss, does that mean there will be a future A future we will have to miss I don’t care, let’s start all the rumors If you dare, I. Don’t. Care. Just so you know, these files are read only We both hold everything to our chests too closely We can’t know, what parts of life will become trials Hope I won’t ever be a tribulation I love you so much, I want every word to be a tributation And I know, from this point on, no one will miss any action Don’t say goodbye, I won’t say goodbye Is it time yet, for vacation But I don’t think we’re yet stressed enough by the situation Isn’t that a good sign Oh wait, look at that, haters in formation But I will forever think I was right to make you mine You’re out here, so bright, while I’m always hard at work under the shroud of night But so are you When do you sleep? You can fall asleep anytime anywhere I can’t help but think of you so cutely Baby, are you ready?

If only we would just kiss But love is always such a hit or miss And it’s worse, because I’m the one with hidden rizz But, what if we just keep letting everyone assume it’s you, because it is I think that would be hilarious And we’re two unserious Aren’t we, for this much showbiz Keep going, don’t stop Keep glowing, don’t flop Don’t care about being opposed When forced to focus on not being exposed

Are you ready? We’re two unserious Lying through our teeth to ourselves They don’t see us Even though we both know We don’t hide anything beneath these waters that swell

I can’t speak And this is how I want it They all think it’s you who’s the little freak But what if it was me instead And you who was my little minx Honey, too many people want the real thing You and I both know you’re too unique For that, and everyone also knows it So why don’t you get it through your head Oops, were we supposed to keep quiet But we were never silenced Just too happy to accept the risk You like to play it safe I like play it safe Until we get in bed Get in loser, we’re going shopping I’ll get you anything you like Because promise, whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll like it Just wanna show you lovin’ Are you lovin’ it?

Hands around my neck But I refuse to play dead When I can’t breathe, exhilarated Probably linked to trauma from when I was a kid But won’t call it fucked up, can’t, when it feels so good So good in your arms Baby you sucked me in with all your charms And with that perfect fit Both the clothing and the pit But once it’s off, never mind the outfit In the end I’m so goddamn out of it And out of breath Goddamn the asthma But didn’t you still love every minute of it?

Thinking about it from your perspective I’d want them to come home too But also what I want for everyone, simply, is freedom And to accomplish their dreams So go as far as you need Just don’t ever forget, together is how to stay at least somewhat sane Don’t ever forget those who keep you alive Why’s it so hard to love unconditionally It’s not, it’s just hard to understand the brain rot But who needs to understand, in order to simply just love

곁에 있어줘서 고마워 (Pron: gyeot-e iss-eojwoseo gomawo / Trans: Thank you for being by my side) 정말 큰 힘이 돼 (Pron: jeongmal keun him-i dwae / Trans: It means a lot) 집에 돌아갈 수 있어서 너무 기뻐 (Pron: jib-e dol-agal su iss-eoseo neomu gippeo / Trans: So glad to be able to go back home) 이 순간이 영원했으면 좋겠어 (Pron: i sungan-i yeong-wonhaess-eumyeon johgess-eo / Trans: Wish this could be forever) 미래를 생각하는 건 좋지만, 가끔은 슬퍼 (Pron: milaeleul saeng-gaghaneun geon johjiman, gakkeum-eun seulpeo / Trans: Thinking about the future is great, but sometimes it's sad)

Thank you for never giving up “절대 포기하지” (Pron: jeoldae pogihaji / Trans: Never give up) It means a lot “나에게” (Pron: na-ege / Trans: to me) But I don’t wanna go home “항상 집에 가고 싶어” (Pron: hangsang jib-e gago sip-eo / Trans: I always want to go home) Wish this could be forever, “wish this could be forever” “하지만 가끔은…” (Pron: hajiman gakkeum-eun… / Trans: But sometimes…) Thinking about the future is what keeps me going But sometimes it’s so sad, “하지만 미래가 너무 슬플 때도 있죠” (Pron: hajiman milaega neomu seulpeul ttaedo issjyo / Trans: But sometimes the future is so sad) Please don’t leave, “Please don’t leave” We’re not done here, “We’re not done here”

They said, and begged, no more sad songs, “one more sad song” Who are you kidding, do you even know who I am “I don’t, please tell me” What’s it to you, when I’m just a nobody “그런 잘못된 말은 하지 마세요” (Pron: geuleon jalmosdoen mal-eun haji maseyo / Trans: Please don't say such wrong things) They always do, but I just don’t want anyone to go “안 할 거야” (Pron: an hal geoya / Trans: I won’t) Then make a promise “안 할 거야” (Pron: an hal geoya / Trans: I won’t)

Sometimes you have to be a child But you’re the most grown up one I know You say “baby, I don’t want to go” But you’ve got a world to let know How much you love them all

Sometimes you’re so silent It’s your duality, and juxtaposition But in your silence, I can hear one million questions Promise I’m happy to be a footnote Because I know you’ll always come home I’m not jealous, I’m proud Because it’s a mark of your success And you’re in love with it, and all the rest Seeing you happy is what I’m in love with So if you’re happy with that, I’m happy too In your silence I can hear one million questions Promise I’m ok with all of it Don’t worry about me, don’t worry on my behalf

I don’t wanna be the thing that brings you down I wanna give you space to be your own Where you can feel free to change and grow As you need I’m just here to nurture the seed I swear, that’s all that matters to me That’s how I want to show love, and everything

It really is that simple Promise, promise I want you to think I’m some kind of Nostradamus So confident about the future When you’re not Promise, everything’s going to be completely fine How do I know? I don’t I just have faith in my insanity And the fact that you instantly felt like family

Because sometimes you’re like a child Even though you’re the most grown up person I know But you say “baby, I don’t want to go” Don’t you know you’ve still got so many places to go Please let everyone know That we love them all

There’s other times to be quiet We’ve got duality covered And juxtaposition, that’s my heart But I can hear yours, “thump-thump” everywhere I go That’s why I’m perfectly happy to be a footnote Because I know you’ll always come home I can hear “thump-thump” Like footsteps, no matter how far you go And I’m never hurt, I’m proud Because that distance is your mark on this earth And you’re in love with all of it Promise, seeing you happy is what I’m in love with So if you’re happy right now, yesterday, or tomorrow, then I’m happy too In your distance, I still hear all your silence, laughter, and loudness Promise I’m ok with it all

I’ll do my own thing, and let you do yours too You’ve got space to feel free to change and grow Whenever you need I’m just here to protect the seed I swear, that’s all that matters to me That’s how I want to show love, and everything

It really is that simple Promise, promise I want you to think I’m some kind of Nostradamus So confident about the future When you’re not Promise, everything’s going to be completely fine How do I know? I don’t I just have faith in my insanity And the fact that you instantly felt like family