#luvly ask

Now two years after the wedding, you’re sitting on the floor of your work’s bathroom with those stupid pink lines staring straight back at you.

“Hello?”

“Eds,” you sob. “I think I’m going to throw up and I can’t tell Steve because I know it’ll just break his heart again and I didn’t expect it to be posi—”

“Woah, slow down. Are you okay? Why would Steve get mad? What the hell are you talking about?”

You try to reply, but you can’t breathe. Hot tears rolling down your cheeks, chest heaving with grief and guilt.

“Deep breaths, in and out. Breathe with me. There you go. It’s okay.” The air creeps its way back into your lungs just enough for your tears to slow down . “Just head on over and we can talk about whatever is going on, okay?”

So you tell your manager you’ve caught a stomach bug and try your best to stay calm as you drive over to his apartment.

Eddie has been one of your closest friends since he moved into the trailer park across the street back in grade school. He was the first to know when Steve asked you out, huffing out how it was about damn time. And he was the first to know when Steve had proposed, but he claimed he already knew. “How do you think Steve finally got the balls to ask you? I told him he better shoot his shot now before some other gentleman with fantastic hair sweeps in and steals you away,” he had said with a wink and elbow digging into Steve’s side.

And now he was the first to know that you were pregnant—again.

You and Steve had been trying for kids since the night of your honeymoon, so excited to have a clan of your own. Your children would grow up never questioning whether or not their parents loved them. You reveled in the dreams of being there for your kids in a way your parents never were for either of you. Steve’s parents chose not to do so, but your mother had no choice. Her weekly hospital visits turned into staying there, which turned into hospice, and eventually losing her completely.

But the excitement of being ‘#1 Mom and Dad’ turned into heartbreak, rushed trips to the hospital, therapy sessions, and a newfound fear every time you missed a period and those pink lines popped up. So eventually you stopped trying. No use in causing more tears and more tension in the relationship when all the two of you could focus on was the dream you could never have.

This is not to say the sex stopped. You still participated in testing out the ol’ mattress, but you went on birth control and Steve often wore condoms. It was overkill, but it protected you both from adding anymore anguish to the ever climbing piles of trauma.

So how the hell did you end up here?

Shuffling up to Eddie’s door, you let out a ragged breath and knock. The faint sound of feet running across carpet pools out from beneath the door. Then those soft, doe eyes are staring down at you. “Oh, sweets, come on in”, he soothes, hands resting on your shoulders before pulling you into a hug.

“I thought you guys were using protection?” Eddie questions, setting down a tea mug on the coffee table in front of you, and making his way to sit next to you on the couch.

“We were! I mean—we do… so I don’t know how this happened,” you sigh out, resting your head atop your hands and rubbing your temples.

“Well,” he starts, placing a hand on his chest while the other reaches for the sky, “methinks this doth be a gift. A light shining out to sea on a stormy night!”

“Shut up,” you tease, lightly tapping his shoulder before cradling your head in your hands once more. “I really don’t think I can go through this again, Eds. I can’t tell Steve. I can’t put him through this again.”

“What? You have to tell him. He deserves to—”

“He deserves to be happy, Eddie,” you plead, cutting him off. “Steve was so excited to start a family. The one thing he wants more than anything, and—and I can’t give it to him.” Tears work their way out once again, and wrapping an arm around you, Eddie gently pulls you in to place your head on his shoulder. 

“I know it’s a shit situation, but I promise you’ll get through this. I have a good feeling this time,” he beams, softly laying his head against yours.

“Just promise me you won’t tell Steve? Not until I’m further along.”

“Scouts honor,” he sighs.

“Can you go with me to my first appointment? I’m going to call tomorrow and schedule it.”

“Oh my god! Of course! Do we get to hear the baby’s heartbeat and see it on that little pixelated black and white alien picture thing?”

“No, you dummy, it’s just going to be a blood test to make sure I am actually pregnant and see how high my hCG levels are, and then we’ll know how far along I am.”

“Oh,” he responded dejectedly. “Despite that being infinitely less cool, I’ll still be there. Are you sure you don’t want Steve to go? I feel like I’m entering his territory here, doll.”

“I’m sure, Eddie. I can’t put him through that again. It’s not that I don’t want Steve to know. I just want to save him the heartbreak, but I don’t think I can do it alone.”

November, 1993

It was unbearable keeping this from Steve. Two months of waiting for the spotting, the cramping, the pain of failing again. Sixty days of not telling the man you love most in this world. Weaving a web of lies for why you had to leave work early, why you couldn’t eat the dinner he made, why you wouldn’t have sex with him anymore, why you were going to see Eddie so much more than usual.

“Mrs. Harrington?” the nurse called. “Dr. Newfield will see you now. Follow me please.”

Deep breaths. In and out. Nothing to worry about. Just a 14 week checkup. Ya know, the one you haven’t made it to before. It’s totally okay. Deep breaths. Steve should be here. Oh my god he needs to be here. I need him here.

Eddie covers your hand with his, “Go on, it’ll be alright. I’ll be right here when you—”

“Oh my gosh! How could I forget? I have a dentist appointment today,” you blurt out, shooting up and walking towards the entrance. “Pregnancy brain! Please tell Dr. Newfield I’ll reschedule as soon as possible. Thank you!”

The bell rings out, announcing your departure, feet flying on the pavement before fumbling with the door handle of the Bronco. Hot tears roll down your cheeks, chest tight and unrelenting. Eddie grabs your hand, pulling it to his chest, “Remember to breathe, okay? Look at me. Don’t look at your feet, look in my eyes.”

Once he’s happy, Eddie drops your hand and places his own on your shoulders, “Alright, you going to tell me what the hell just happened in there?”

“I panicked,” you sigh, pulling your eyebrows together. “I’ve never made it this far along, and I realized I don’t want to go through this without Steve. As much as it terrifies me to know what is going on up in here,” you let out a teary chuckle, gesturing a finger around your stomach, “It scares me more to not have him here with me.”

“Well, I was going to save this until after the appointment, but since that is no longer happening, I think this breakthrough is a cause for celebration, too,” Eddie smiles. Reaching into the pocket of his jean jacket, he pulls out a rectangular velvet box.

Steve left early from work. Made up some lame excuse to his boss, but in reality he wanted to come home to you. You had called in today for a stomach bug and when he left this morning, you were shut in the bathroom with no signs of coming out soon. He wanted to stop by the store and get your favorites to surprise you, hoping this would make you open up to him. He hated how distant you were lately, and couldn’t help the doubt and jealousy that creeped in from how you were visiting Eddie more often than normal.

As he walked down the main street of town, he saw you and Eddie across the street by your car. Steve couldn’t hear him, but he could see the way he rubbed your arms and shoulders. He could see you beaming from ear to ear when he pulled a jewelry box out of his pocket. Eddie stepped behind you, delicately moving your hair to one side, and gently placing a necklace across your chest. Your hand came up to grab it, smiling down before turning around to hug him tightly.

Steve would like to think he was a level-headed individual, but his suspicions had been confirmed. You were cheating on him with your best friend. His best friend.

“I never thought I’d get to wear this, Eddie. Thank y—”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing with my girl, Munson?”

You turn around to see Steve barreling at you with a look you’ve never seen. He was furious, but there was something indiscernible in his eyes.

“Woah, Steve. Calm down, okay? What the hell is going on with you?” Eddie demands, cocking an eyebrow.

“Do me a favor and spare me the innocent bullshit”, he fumes before directing his attention to you. “So this is why you won’t talk to me anymore? Feeling guilty for going behind my back and sleeping with our best friend.”

Your mouth fell open. Shocked at just how wrong he had judged the situation. More tears already brimming at your waterline, in utter disbelief that he could ever think you were capable of hurting him like that. “Steve. That’s not what’s going on. How could you even think I coul—”

“Then why the fuck is he touching you like that and what the hell is this?” he asks, his hand reaching up to the golden heart laying on your chest and snatching it away before tossing it out towards the street.

Your eyes follow it and before you could even react, Eddie is already jogging to search for it, but not before shooting daggers at Steve. But he didn’t notice, his eyes were transfixed on yours.

“How could you do that, Steve?” you shout, tears now falling. “That was my mother’s!”

His brows knit in confusion, but the hurt and anger in his eyes didn’t waiver. “Then why have I never seen you wear it? In the almost ten years we’ve been together, I have never once seen you wear that”, he spat.

“Because I just got it from my father!” you sob. “The pendant was damaged, so I took it over to Wayne months ago and asked if he had any tools to fix it. I was finally able to wear it and you’ve ruined it!”

Steve’s brows finally relax and a look of guilt crosses his face as he sees you sobbing into your hands. He comes up to you and wraps his arms around your back, pulling your face into his chest. “Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I had no idea. I just assumed that was why you stopped putting effort into us.”

You pull your head back to look at him. “I would never, ever, do that to you”, you scolded before taking a deep breath, “But I have been lying to you.”

“O-okay?” he says, a look of confusion plastered across his features.

“I’m pregnant”, you state matter-of-factly. 

“You’re pregnant?” he questions, pausing like he hasn’t processed it fully. “You’re pregnant?! When did y—“

“Nope. I talk, you listen,” you plead, shooting a hand up to stop him from talking. He nods, a puzzled look forming and biting back a small smile.

“I took a test two months ago, and I didn’t want to tell you because I couldn’t stand to see that hope and happiness get ripped from you again,” you gesture to the look he has now. “But I also knew there was no way for me to do this on my own, so I asked Eddie to take me to my appointments until I knew this one was safe. That is why it has been so hard for me to speak with you. It’s been hell trying to keep this from you, and I have been dreading the day I wake up and it’s all over.”

You close your eyes and breathe as his hand comes to rest along your jaw. Opening your eyes, you see his own have glazed over and he’s sporting the dopiest smile. “How far along are you? Do you know what it is?”

“Fourteen weeks,” you whisper, afraid that if you say it too loudly it will all come crashing down, but the smile growing on his face brings some solace. “And I have no idea what they are yet. That’s actually what this vis—”

“They? As in plural? Like, more than one?” Steve asks with wide eyes, moving between your belly and your eyes. You can’t help but giggle as you look at him, and then he’s smiling at you. Those brown eyes full of love and adoration, wondering how he got so lucky. He wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you close and swaying you gently. Lost in your own dream, surrounded by your little family.

“I found it!” Eddie calls, holding out the necklace and walking back over. You both look over, smiles beaming as Steve lets go and reaches for your hand. “I take it everything has been resolved?”

“Thank you, Eddie,” Steve says with a small smile, grabbing the jewelry from his hands. “For this, and for taking care of my girl. I’m sorry I freaked out on you,” he murmurs, looking down at the ground and rubbing his hand against the back of his neck.

Eddie clasps a hand on his shoulder, “Water under the bridge, dude. I’m just happy you know now. Felt like I was going to have a heart attack from the stress.”

You nod vehemently in agreement with his last statement, and Steve chuckles at you both before turning to you, “Well, I’m sure these little nuggets will appreciate the relaxation.”

“These? There’s two?!” Eddie practically yells. “How did I not know this! Why didn’t you tell me?”

You let out a bright laugh, “Eddie, you would actually have to go back there with me to see it on the ultrasound.”

“No way. I’m not trying to see your lady bits,” he retorts, hands coming up to make an “X” and Steve joins in on the laughter.

“That’s not how ultrasounds work, Eddie,” you sigh, “and I didn’t tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise for you both.”

“Well, then let’s go back in there and find out what they are!,” Eddie demands, already walking back towards the office.

You turn to follow, but Steve turns you towards him and pulls your hand to his mouth to place a chaste kiss. “I really am sorry, baby. I know this couldn’t have been easy on you. And I promise, I will take this chain to a jeweler as soon as possible and have it fixed. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Steve,” you say, placing a hand along his neck and bringing him down for a kiss.

Taglist: @enchantedlandcoffee