#lutikyapp

"🎀"

For all those who called him cute.

I need to mention that all of their relationships with their own gender identities are heavily affected by the environment, them being neurodevergent and other factors that I WILL mention later.

So let's start with Killer since he's one of the complicated cases here. He has almost zero prescription of himself due to being a system with heavy dissociation and also being psychotic. He's also pretty much apathetic to that stuff (go my apathy holder). There are always some Killers that feel different about it, but generally he doesn't really bother himself with it.

With that being said... Killer is femme leading and so sometimes he can call himself a woman if he feels like it. He finds it "correct" in a weird way, like if this is the truth that is truer than the rest of the truth If that makes sense.

And he doesn't care about pronouns, he just lets everyone use any pronouns for him.

Ink can't exactly grasp the concept of gender because it is a social construct, and them being autistic does affect the way he can understand what is the social construct in the first place. They do find labels useful but at the same time confusing, especially microlabels.

He's an intersex and he decided to go with cisgender and also genderapathetic, since they feel like it's the most suitable for him.

And also he uses he/they and mirror pronouns. The reason is that when he first got into society the only thing he could do to communicate is to mirror others, so that's just stick up with him as a habit.

Dream found out about gender topic from Ink, and since then they were a bit curious about what are they. During their past environment where it was not allowed to even think about that stuff (it was considered as "thought crime") - it was pretty hard to explore themselves in that way, but with big help from Ink (again) they can navigate better now. Doesn't mean they don't face difficulties tho, like they are not entirely sure If something that they feel connection with is real or maybe that something from the past and they are just lying to themselves to feel grounded to reality. And they are not allowed to feel that, because they are a bad person anyway from their pov.

So after that they consider themselves being somewhere between gender and gendern't completely, they are not entirely sure where exactly but that's the best they can get right now.

They decided to pick they/it pronouns out of spite and also their own prescription of themselves, like they are always "third secret thing" in everything so that's what they are going with right now.

I already talked about Night being transgirl and what difficulties she faces since she stayed in the society where any gender expression is considered as "rotting" (something like demon possession but with cultural terms of my Dreamtale). Shes not allowed to even think about it, she must stay pure and untouched with such things since she's the prophet who has to be with a clear mind, just like Mother Nature intended. When she was younger it was way easier, but now she's "mature" enough to understand that "this is wrong" and she "can't pretend to be something that she isn't".

She feels extremely guilty and ashamed of herself when she dreams about wearing "woman" clothes, or being called a girl. She did have support in the past, Dream called her "sister" right away after she confessed about her "weird fantasies". But Dream isn't there right now, so the only one who she can rely on for that is her friend who is also trans (they don't talk about it much). She just feels like a freak at that point and trying to suppress those thoughts with constant work.

tell me more plsplspslsplspls 🙏🙏🙏

I think I really need to mention that a lot of focus in (my) Nights story is on her being trans, unlike Dream, Ink and Killer, that are also transgenders. Why? Because, unlike them, she is stuck in queerphobic society (Dream is not living in their au, smirk), which has very very strict rules about gender as a whole.

In my Dreamtale, those who express their gender "incorrectly" are considered unclean, traitors, rot on the pure lands. Because, how dare you to question all long set rules from The Mother Nature herself?

And so, this mindset of "you can't pretend to be something that you are not" has developed in Night since a very young age, right after when she and, back then, Day (aka Dream), only started to socialize. First, it was considered not something really bad, just really really weird, that Night desires to wear dresses or be in culturally girl spaces. But then, they started to shame her for her gender expression, to "push her on the right way".

They used her own "role" in society, for her to be "more mature" and "understand, that she can't wear something that girls wear".

That caused Night being incredibly unstable with her own self. She's the prophet, the fruit of her own Mothers efforts, she's not allowed to feel the way that she feels. And it doesn't really help that nobody explained to her the concept of the gender and gender expression itself to her in the first place. Maybe, except Dream, that got knowledge on that with a big help from Ink, but their relationship wasn't on the best point for that at time.

So, she's deeply ashamed and guilty over even wanting to be seen as a girl. She believes, that her "evil" thoughts make her Mother go dormant (another big lore piece, heh..)), and being trans is basically one of those thoughts. She is being punished by what she is.

Shes also holding a lot of jealousy and anger against Dream, who actually expressed their gender (they are non-binary) before leaving their au. Dream weren't allowed to wear dresses, skirts, traditionally only male clothes either, and yet they did it a lot of times.

So, she feels really lonely and "like a freak", in a way. But she does have a friend (smirk....), that actually helps her with her being lost and feeling like an outcast. They are also transgender, and their bond started on them literally swapping clothes (Night got pretty white dress one time). They are not really open with each other about it, but they do feel that they kinda understand each other, in a way that nobody can.

Anywayy heres the quick sketches of her