#lushscreamqueen

Hello good evening and welcome to what in my humble opinion the worst movie since Lumière brothers played their first film in December 1895. I would have said celluloid but this film was straight to DVD without even the courtesy of a cinema release or at the very least a live streaming event. I have searched but even Netflix won’t touch this stonker of a film. Shot in 2013 this is a first for me, a Hungarian horror film. They call it a comedy but I suspect they mean the monsters are laughable in the um ahh way not the ha ha way. I have seen better acting at Nida auditions. This film was written and directed by Balázs Hatvani who has 6 films to his credit and for the life of me I don’t now why. Starring Erin Hayes in her first film and Ashley Lloyd (Mostly with Balázs but one notable Downton Abbey uncredited) as high school students intruding in an old amusement park inhabited by monsters on a dare, Oh he gets conned into it with a promise of a kiss from Jenny and what virgin won’t break and enter a creepy abandoned amusement park for a good snog. Now you would think with Tim Curry as Ginger Clown even if a bad film is redeemable, but guess again. The monsters are Doctor Who worthy. Ed Wood himself would cringe at the cheesy over done yellow eyeballed rubber puppets dripping with KY. The rubber heads precariously balanced on what I suspect are Hungarian extras in Snuggies. I suspect Lance Henriksen, (Alien 3, Millennium, Tron TMNT) Michael Winslow, (and not one special sound effect??… seriously no one hires him for his acting!!) Brad Dourif (The voice of Chucky) and Sean Young (Rachael from Blade runner, oh how the gorgeous have fallen) providing the voices of the creatures that terrorize them. Gingerclown is set in 1983, a group of high school students led by Biff run into their nerdy classmate Sam (Ashley Lloyd), whom they instantly begin to bull as you do. In order to prove him to Biff and also win the affection of Biffs’ good natured girlfriend, Jenny (Erin Hayes) he agrees to sneak into an old abandoned amusement park to prove his courage, Jenny fights with Biff and flows him. The park was abandoned in the 60’s after kids died… ohhh spooky. Our hero and Heroine are wander through the overgrown darkness, when suddenly the lights come on, the music plays and Ta da…everything is trying to eat their brains.

Needless to say, the film has nothing particularly intelligent to say-- even for a teen slasher film and there are surprising few deaths for a slasher film. I wanted to scream “Kill them all but no such luck. Gingerclown even had Eddie tied up at one point, just to tell a joke. I have no idea how he escape his horrid inevitable doom. Frankly, I'd be ashamed to write anything this wretched and can't see how any writer would take credit for this sort of bilge.

The monsters are appalling, the acting is so overdone and the biggest stars in horror and Sci fi cannot save themselves let alone this film. This is one hour and 23 minutes I will never get back. I prayed for the end of the film or death and raced to see which came first. I kept thinking this cannot get any worse…. And then it does. AND to add insult to injury, no-one in the entire film even looks like a clown! In fairness there was a pretty close Jabba the Hut looking guy with a Gramophone.

#mardigras40 #SBS @SBS pic.twitter.com/oq9Il5DdIz