Lushscreamqueen Presents:

In the Star Trek timeline, the 21st century is arguably the most turbulent period in human history. It is defined by a rapid succession of social collapse, nuclear conflict, and a post-atomic "dark age" that nearly drove the species to extinction before Zefram Cochrane’s warp flight in April 2063 thus instigating a first contact situation with the Vulcans.

Here is the breakdown of the crises that defined this era:

1. The Bell Riots (September 2024)

Before the global wars began, internal social collapse peaked in the United States. No specific riots I can find but there have actually matched exactly but there have been any number or protests and riots in 2024, who knows what the catalyst from those yet...

The Cause: Massive wealth inequality and unemployment led to the creation of "Sanctuary Districts"—walled-off urban ghettos where the homeless and jobless were confined and forgotten by society....so that's pretty mush everywhere anyway.

The Star Trek version: A riot in San Francisco’s Sanctuary District A, led by a man named Gabriel Bell (and famously inhabited by a time-traveling Benjamin Sisko), became a turning point. The brutal government crackdown, televised to the world, forced society to finally confront its treatment of the poor, leading to the eventual dismantling of the Sanctuary system.

2. The Second Civil War (Early 2020s – 2030s)

While less documented than the world wars, this was a period of extreme domestic instability in the U.S.....so give it a few minutes.

The Cause: Political fragmentation and the collapse of the traditional social contract. H,,, Traditional social contact??? What like Covid and social media?

The Result: This period weakened the Western powers significantly, setting the stage for a fragmented global response to the coming nuclear threat.

3. World War III (2026 – 2053)......and here we are.... so duck and cover, people.

This is the "Great War" of the Star Trek universe. It was not a single continuous conflict but a series of escalating global skirmishes that culminated in a nuclear holocaust.....did I say Duck and Cover yet?

The Star Trek Version...The Cause: Issues surrounding genetic engineering and political control between the "Eastern Coalition" (ECON) and Western powers. While the "Eugenics Wars" of the 1990s involved genetically engineered "Augments" like Khan Noonien Singh, the fallout and remaining political tensions triggered the 21st-century conflict.

The Timeline:

2026: The formal start of the war.

2040s: Most of Earth's major cities were destroyed.

2053: The war ended with a nuclear exchange that killed roughly 600 million people.

The Aftermath: Most national governments collapsed. The world entered a "Post-Atomic Horror," characterized by lawlessness, radiation sickness, and "drug-controlled" soldiers (as seen in the TNG pilot, "Encounter at Farpoint").

4. The Post-Atomic Horror (2053 – 2100s)

This is the true "Dark Age" mentioned in Star Trek lore.

Environment: Large swaths of the planet were radioactive wastelands. Survivors lived in "New Settlements" (like the one in Montana where Zefram Cochrane built the Phoenix).

Star Trek Social Order in the future.: Courts were often kangaroo trials presided over by "Q-like" despots where there were no rights for the accused. Knowledge was lost, and humanity was viewed by the later-arriving Vulcans as a primitive, self-destructive race and boy are they right.

So, we are right on track and all this might happen within YOUR lifetime!

Mine too... mabye... that depends on more tests next week.

1. Have you been to Rocky Horror?

2. More than 5 times?

3. More than 10 times

4. more than 50 times?

5. More then 100 times?

6. More than 500 times?

7. Have you ever been considered part of a 'cast' (i.e. preformed)?

8. More than 3 times?

9. More than 20 times?

10. More than 100 times?

11. Have you ever picked up someone up at Rocky?

12. Have you ever slept with someone you met at Rocky?

13. More than 3 people?

14. More than 10 people?

15. Have you ever slept with a 'cast member'?

16. More than 3?

17. More than 10?

18. Had 'elbow sex'?

19. Have you ever been propositioned by a cast member or someone you met at Rocky?

20. And go through with the proposition?

21. More than 3 times?

22. Have you propositioned someone just because they'd make a good cast member?

23. Have you been on a cast for more than a month?

24. A year?

25. 5 years?

26. Have you ever seen 'Shock Treatment'?

27. More than 3 times?

28. More than 10 times?

29. More often than you have Rocky?

30. Do you know the words to any 'Shock Treatment'

song by heart?

31. All of them?

32. Have you ever been part of a 'Shock Treatment' cast or preformance (in any way)?

33. Do you have the full costume for more than 1 Rocky character?

34. More than 3?

35. All of them?

36. Have you played more than 1 part in a cast? (At least once)

37. MOre than 3?

38. All of them?

39. Did you change your feelings about your sexual preference because of Rocky?

40. Did you find out you were right?

41. Have you slept with more than 1 cast member at once?

42. More than 2 at once?

43. Been involved in a cast orgy?

44. Have you ever had sex at Rocky?

45. Actually done something real during the 'bedroom' scene?

46. Have you ever done a 'Peek-a-Boo'?

47. Been complimented afterwards?

48. Seen Rocky in more than 1 different theatre?

49. More than 3?

50. More than 10?

51. Seen Rocky in more than 1 state?

52. More than 3?

53. Been involved in a 'Truth or Dare' game with cast members?

54. Been involved in 'Strip poker' or other striping game with cast members?

55. Do you know more than half of the Waffle House menu by heart?

56. All of it?

57. Do you not even look at the menu anymore?

58. Have you ever played any of the 'Waffle House Songs' on the juke box?

59. More than twice?

60. And lived to tell about it?

61. Have you ever gotten sick on Waffle House food?

62. Not gotten sick?

63. Been rudely insulted because of your Rocky attire?

64. Been praised because of it?

65. Been assaulted because of it?

66. Been called a 'Fag' or 'Dyke' at Rocky (with mailce)?

67. Created your own 'AP Line'?

68. Have people laugh at it?

69. Hear someone else yell it at a later date?

70. Been considered the 'Cast Slut'

71. Slept with the 'Cast Slut'

72. Done something totally unrelated to Rocky with most or all of the Rocky group? (Picnic, outing, camping trip, etc.)

73. During daylight hours?

74. Ever stayed up for more than 48 hours without sleep during a 'Rocky' weekend?

75. Been to a sci-fi or gaming convention with either cast members?

76. Headed you own cast?

77. Been 'de-throned'?

78. Met any of the original RHPS actors?

79. Met any of the Shock Treatment actors?

80. Know the Rocky Horror Bible by heart?

81. Own a Rocky Horror related book?

82. All of them?

83. Own the RHPS comic books?

84. The trading cards?

85. A bootleg of RHPS?

86. Bootleg with Japaneese subtitles?

87. The released tape copy?

88. The Laser Disk?

89. The video of Shock Treatment?

90. Own any Rocky Horror clothing?

91. Posters?

92. Buttons?

93. Bumper Stickers?

94. Audio tape?

95. CD?

96. London cast album?

97. Boxed set? (Either CD or Tape)

98. Any Tim Curry album?

99. Bat Out Of Hell?

100. Any Little Nell album?

101. Oficial A.P. album?

102. Met 'Uncle Sal' (Piro)?

103. Curtis Meshing?

104. Injured yourself at Rocky?

105. Gone to Rocky stoned?

106. More than 3 times?

107. Gone to Rocky drunk?

108. More than 3 times?

109. Gone to Rocky on acid?

110. More than 3 times?

111. Sang any 'Monty Python' song at Rocky or cast function?

112. Watch 'Monty Python' with cast?

113. Watched 'Ren And Stimpy' with cast?

114. Watched a porno with cast members?

115. Seen The 'Rocky Horror Porno Show'?

116. With cast members?

117. Gotten severly aroused because of one of these group viewings?

118. Had it lead to something steamy?

119. Taken a 'Regular' Purity Test?

120. More then 3 times?

121. As a cast function?

122. Had the lowest score on cast?

123. The hightst?

124. Dated a cast member for more than 3 months?

125. More than a year?

126. And was faithful?

127. Got married to cast member?

128. Got divorced form them?

129. Got married AT Rocky?

130. Preformed pregnant or injured?

131. Was asked to play a part at the last second?

132. A part you have enver played before?

133. And did a good job?

134. Brought more than 3 people as virgins?

135. More than 10?

136. Been dis-owned from family or friends because of Rocky?

137. Told yourself 'I need to get a life'?

138. Been burned out on Rocky?

139. Said you would leave Rocky forever?

140. And came back?

141. Within a month?

142. Sat out in the lobby during the entire show?

143. Joined cast because you were tired of paying for the ticket?

144. Gotten sick at Rocky? (Threw up)

145. Lost your virginity to a cast member or someone you met at Rocky?

146. Deflowered someone you met at Rocky?

147. Been hit on by your non-preferred gender at Rocky?

148. And yet have it lead to something steamy?

149. Played more than 1 part in full during 1 preformance?

150. Watched a Movie/TV show just because one of the Rocky actors was in it? (The Hunger, It, Clue)

151. Ever preformed while under the influence of drugs or alcohol?

152. And no one noticed?

153. Considered yourself a 'Rocky Junkie'?

154. Gotten kicked out of your home or apartment because of something Rocky related?

155. Tried to expalin what rocky was to your parents?

156. Taken your parents to Rocky?

157. Have your parents show up at Rocky without you knowing about it?

158. Taken a 'Road Trip' with other cast members to see or preform Rocky in another city?

159. Get involved with a cast just for sex?

160. Get involved with a cast just for sex and find out they were virgins?

161. Get involved with more than one cast for sex at once?

162. Needed your eyes checked from watching Rocky so much?

163. Engaged in bondage with a cast member?

164. Caused/gotten pregnant with a cast member whom you weren't married to?

165. Suffered severe mental trauma due to something Rocky related?

166. Actually fucked 'in the back row'?

167. Actually fucked 'in the back row' with a cast member??

168. Gotten a STD from a cast member?

Time to test yours skills with The "Time meant nothing ever would again ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW DRINKING GAME."

-Drink every time Brad says “Damn it”

-Drink every time Janet faints.

-Take a shot every time it is suggested that Frank-N-Furter shags someone

-Drink every time Rocky flexes

-Drink every time they shove a commercial in at an inappropriate time.

-Drink every time Riff Raff and Magenta do Elbow sex

-Drink every time you see a motorcycle

-Drink every time you see the abnormally small Transylvanian

-Drink every time there is a graphic that makes you think "I could download that at print it off for my room"

-Take a shot every time someone gets killed

-Take a drink every time you see the criminologist

-Take a shot every time you catch a nip slip

-Take a drink every time you see a famous/classical piece of art

-Take a drink if you can name it

-Take a drink every time Janet claims she’s frightened

-Take a drink every time someone lights a cigarette

-Take a drink every time Brad introduces himself by his full name

Happy New Year Facebook friend.

It seems this horror show will never end.

Every single moment's wishing for the best

Here is to another year closer to death.

The Sparklers on the table,

And the booze nice cold

Party getting warmer .

as the year is getting old

Ebola in the news feed, and Terror on TV

Another shooter in a school

A drinking game we see

Happy New Year Facebook friend.

It seems this horror show will never end.

Every single moment's wishing for the best

Here is to another year closer to death.

Desensitize the Planet

Starvation, Fear and doubt

'Cause if you start to care a bit

Just have another shout .

Now you're an alcoholic,

And you're blind to all we bet

You're too old to remember,

Sadly too drunk to forget.

So have another cigarette,

Have another beer,

Raise your glass to one more year.

Yes have a Vape, enjoy the jape

Raise your Glass and bare your arse

Have a beer and share the cheer

Every moment's wishing for the best

Here is to another year closer to death.

Happy New Year Facebook friend.

It seems this horror show will never end.

Every moment's wishing for the best

Here is to another year closer to death.

In Nakatomi Plaza, before Christmas Day

There’s a fancy work Christmas soiree

That’s where John is meeting his wife Holly, who

No longer uses his name

In busts that Hans Gruber who causes a fright

Machine guns all ablaze and an accent so nice

In Nakatomi Plaza is where McClane

Has some terr’rist fighting to do

In Nakatomi Plaza, Johnny hides away

Tries to get the cops to come his way

But the terr’rist scaring, it was all a ruse

Steal some bonds and get away

Then he goes through hunchmen, don’t put up much fight

Bullets fly by his face in the dark of night

On Nakatomi Plaza is where Hans plays

Sets off some explosives at you

Gruber finds out Holly is John’s estranged wife

He forces her to stay and get ol’ John to fight

On Nakatomi Plaza is the best way

To make the whole tower kaboom!

In Nakatomi Plaza, shoot-out underway

Full of bright explosions in L.A.

Walks across those glass shards with no socks or shoes

Man, this guy must be insane!

Jumping off the building, hose tied on so tight

A gun taped to his back, shoots Hans and saves his wife

Off Nakatomi Plaza, Hans falls long way

He saved the day on Christmas

A very Die Hard Christmas,

A very, “Yippi-Ki-Yay Mother-” Christmas to you

#diehard

#NakatomiPlaza,

I closed the windows and drew back the curtain

the wind was howling with the storm renewed

Across the blackened room you screamed like a child crushed 

a scream that chilled my frozen heart

I threw clothes across the room to find you huddled

and I picked you up.You did not fight me, you usually do

Bright lightning flashed and Thunder shakes the iron clad walls

You screamed again the world was shaking, and so were you

We sit alone as the world explodes

you on my lap, I stroke you softly and smile.

The colours faded into darkness, you and I alone

In the doorway sits Nina cat she stares with fear at your sounds. 

We return to the beginning I was your world then

the storm is dimming, You're trembling still.

You lay warm, Curling around my legs and waiting

Soft murmers of fear and howls

Still hesitating, this most unlike you 

My Brave fluffy little gray cat  Dorian. 

Running Up That Bill (Deal with Trump)

It doesn’t hurt me (Im Aussie yeah, yo

Do you wanna feel how it feels? (Yeah, yeah, yo)

Do you wanna know, know what it costs me? (Yeah, yeah, yo)

Do you wanna hear about the deal that I’m making? (Yeah, yeah, yo)

You—

It’s you and me,

And if I only could,

I’d make a deal with Trump,

And I’d get him to wipe my wages,

Be runnin’ up that road,

Be runnin’ up that bill,

Be runnin’ past that ICE van, still unpaid, oh!

You don’t wanna tax em(yeah, yeah, yo),

But see how deep the debt now lies (yeah, yeah, yo),

Unaware I’m drowning in the numbers (yeah, yeah, yo),

Oh, there’s thunder in our ass (yeah, yeah, yo)!

Is there so much greed for the ones above? (Yeah, yeah, yo)

Oh, tell me — poor matter, don’t we? (Yeah, yeah, yo)

You—

It’s you and me,

It’s you and me,

Won’t be unhappy...

And if I only could,

I’d make a deal with Trump,

And I’d get him to sign those papers,

Be runnin’ up that road,

Be runnin’ up that bill,

Be runnin’ from that ICE van on the hill!

Say if I only could (yeah, yeah, yo),

It’s you and me (yeah, yeah, yo),

Won’t be unhappy (yeah, yeah, yo)!

Oh, come on, baby (yeah!),

Oh, come on, Donny (yo!),

Let me sell this promise to you now!

Oh, come on, agent,

Come on, come on, darling,

Let’s exchange the experience (yo)!

And if I only could,

I’d make a deal with Trump,

And I’d get him to swap our places,

Be runnin’ up that road,

Be runnin’ up that bill,

Through ICE stations!

Say, if I only could,

I’d make a deal with Trump,

And I’d get him to fix those cases,

Be runnin’ up that road,

Be runnin’ up that hill,

With deportations!

Say, if I only could,

I’d be runnin’ up that bill...

With no papers!

Alarm bells ring while Venus sings,

Bananarama wakes me from exhausted slumbers.

Coffee, long black and strong with Al Jeezera

and a Kitten Mews with the News.

Autumn mists whisper in a sky as

black as my mothers heart.

The Moon, full and white

Glares down.

It sees nothing,

But it looks really cool.

I wish I had a camera up to the task.

*sigh*

Grass...Emerald green in the moonlight

shimmering with dew a Diamond Nigara

Smell the green mist rising

Gaze drawn to the center lawn

A Chat noir, back arched in a Perfect Chat Noir pose,

She looks just like the posters.

She stares in disbelief as the human stares back

in wonder at her too perfect form.

Chat Noir is making a "Shat" Noir.

Lush smiles at her own joke and walks away.

Nothing is open for breakfast.

and the sky is becoming the colour of

a decomposing salmon.

Here comes the train.

Stare blankly East for 22 minutes

listening to Bowie on the fauxpod.....

Central, The tunnel reeks with stale love and beer.

Remains of a MacDonalds Mardi Gras

litter as far as the eye can see.

Crunchy Nut Cornflakes in an orange tupperware bowl

hides behind the tin of cous cous in my locker.

by Lushscreamqueen

[Black screen......Thunder rumbles...maybe its a thousand wheels, distant explosions echo. A dusty, rasping breath.]

ELDERLY MAX (voice, cracked, worn):

"My world is fire...and water... My world is blood and petrol."

[A fast cut: Orange skies. Firestorms sweeping across broken highways, long shots...skeletal cities collapsing into dust. broken cars line broken roads.]

ELDERLY MAX (voice only):

"Once, we fought over pride. Over borders. Over oil. Then... we fought over what's left."

[Sound explodes — war drums, screams, roaring engines. Sandstorms swallowing armies. Nuclear flashes in the distance. More screams, then silence]

[Cut to Young Max cradling a dying Comrade Goose; motorbike gangs; rogue police units fighting in burned-out cities; scavengers crawling over wrecked tankers.]

ELDERLY MAX (voice, bitter):

"I was a lawman when the law meant nothing. I was a husband... a father... until rage ripped it all away. I died that day. Then I made them wish I had."

[Scene: Max standing alone at the graves of his family, the rain is turning to ash.]

ELDERLY MAX (voice):

"The world didn’t end in a bang. It bled out. Some say it was the bombs. Others, the oil wars... greed, revenge, hunger. Didn't matter in the end. We broke the world with our own hands."

[The screen flickers: mushroom clouds rising beyond shattered skylines. Roaming packs of raiders on rusted bikes.]

[Cut: barbaric gladiator arenas — Bartertown rises from the ruins like a twisted city of flesh and steel. The thunderous chant: "Two men enter, one man leaves!"]

ELDERLY MAX (voice, cold):

"They called it civilization. They called it survival."

[Cut to Aunty Entity: "Remember where you are - this is Thunderdome, and death is listening, and will take the first man that screams".]

[Images: Dust storm...Furious car chases through towering dust ; glimpses of Furiosa battling across the salt flats; Immortan Joe's war boys screaming through the desert.]

[Scene: Max strapped to the front of a car, blood pumping into a frenzied driver.]

ELDERLY MAX (voice, fading to a whisper):

"Me? I just kept running... kept fighting... hoping someday I'd find a way home."

[Final images: the black Interceptor shredded and abandoned. Max walking alone into a crimson sunset.]

[last lines]

SAVANNAH NIX (voice): [image ELDERLY MAX is closing his eyes]

Time counts and keeps countin', and we knows now finding the trick of what's been and lost ain't no easy ride. But that's our trek, we gotta' travel it. And there ain't nobody knows where it's gonna' lead. Still in all, every night we does the tell, so that we 'member who we was and where we came from... but most of all we 'members the man that finded us, him that came the salvage. And we lights the city, not just for him, but for all of them that are still out there. 'Cause we knows there come a night, when they sees the distant light, and they'll be comin' home.

Children's voices in unison.. "Tell us the telling grampa, speak the story of the before times again"

TEXT ON SCREEN: MAD MAX: MESSIAH.

"Before Thunderdome. Before Fury. There was the end of the world."

[Sound fades into a low growl of an engine starting.... it roars into life ... then silence.]

This needs to be played by Mel Gibson. Lush has written it so Lush gets to say who's in it.

Now, who can get this to George Miller for me?

Like

Comment

Too much jealousy will make you crazy

I've been walking the streets in shoes that kill my feet

Too much make up, Oh, dream like a lady

Now you're a prisoner of some shallow dream

You're out of fashion

Your moment's over

And yes I loved you

Oh, but you wore me out

You're out of fashion

So just forget it now

A living tragedy

Parody, fits you like a glove

Too much ego makes you ugly, yeah

I've been running away from what I really need

Desperation pushes love away

Now you're a prisoner of your own desire

You're out of fashion

Your moment's over

And yes I loved you

Oh, but you wore me out

You're out of fashion

So just forget it now

A living tragedy

Parody fits you like a glove

There's enough love in this world for you and me

There's enough love for everyone, you wait and see

There's enough love in this world, so why do we hide

What we feel inside?

There's enough love in this world for you and me

There's enough love in for everyone, you wait and see

There's enough love in this world, so why do we hide

What we feel inside?

There's enough love in this world

There's enough love for everyone

There's enough love in this worldSo why do we hide what we feel inside

If there's enough love in this world

If there's enough love for everyone

If there's enough love in this world

Then why do we hide what we feel inside

There's enough love in this world

If there's enough love for everyone

If there's enough love in this world

Then why do we hide what we feel inside

If there's enough love for everyone

The Game

Unless stated otherwise, all events listed below deserve one swig or sip.. Some of course take a shot!.

Presenters

There are always two presenters on screen, a Host and a Hostess. Each broadcaster usually provides an additional Commentator to provide voice-over translations, background information and witty sarcasm.

The Commentator makes a satirical comment that no-one laughs at

Myf & Joel, try and fail to be funny: Take a shot.

The Host and Hostess speak in rhyme: Take a shot.

The Host and Hostess gaze into each others eyes

The Host and Hostess kiss:

The Hostess changes her dress

The Host changes his outfit:

Myf & Joel, having a time-wasting conversation that no-one can follow, understand or care less about

Courtney Act falls in lust with some hunky singer : Take a shot.

Courtney Act Changes her outfit

Courtney Act sings. (I love you Courtney)

Performances — general points

Song has a tacky or nonsensical title (shoo-wop etc.)

Politically-related metaphor (e.g. breaking out of chains, shedding a black cloak to reveal white clothes)

Lyrics are literally demonstrated in the performance

Act steals ideas from Eurovision acts from previous years

Use of props (e.g. candles, ribbons, dummies, mobile phones)

Use of pyrotechnics or lasers; if they go wrong: Take a shot.

Interaction with the audience; if the audience is unusually passive: sip

Any time the song goes up a key

France conducts a musical experiment

France sings in English: Take a shot.

A country from Former Yugoslavia has a depressing song

Germany's song mentions peace, harmony or love (one sip each)

A country borrows any performer from another country

if the borrowed performer is Irish.

if the country doing the borrowing is Ireland: Take a shot.

Any representation of ongoing worldwide conflicts and protests against them.

For future reference (see Judging below), make a note of any:

Predictions that the Commentator makes about the song

acts where the attractiveness of the performer(s) is the only thing going for it

Appearance of performers

Retro/out-of-date clothing and hairstyles

Bad dress-sense; if utterly offensive: Take a shot.

Experimental make-up

Indecently revealing or figure-hugging costumes: Take a shot.

Overt displays of cleavage

Codpiece(s): chug

Faked blond hair (East European countries only)

Hat(s); if horned: Take a shot.

Sunglasses

Moustache(s); if female with moustache: double shots

Main singer is grossly overweight

Malta: male singer does not have a hairy chest

Mid-performance costume change: Take a shot.

Singers and back-up vocalists

Sing in a language other than their native tongue, English or French

Perform through the medium of rap: slurp

Wink at camera

Drop to their knees

Flick their hair; if they flick non-existent hair.

Make a victory/peace ‘V’ sign

Wave their arms above their heads whilst singing

Punch the air

Put excessive emotion into their singing

Sing out of tune

Emit high and loud obnoxious noises

Play or mime along with musicians during instrumentals; if they play badly: Take a shot.

Resemble someone you know

Resemble another famous person

if that person is present in the audience: Take a shot.

if the camera zooms in and lingers on that person: Take a shot.

Flirt with the camera after finishing

Wind machine

Dancers and musicians

Play an ‘ethnic’ instrument (includes panpipes)

Play piano while standing

‘Ethnic’ dancing

Hip-hop style dancing: Take a shot.

Dancing that detracts from the performance

Dancing that surpasses belief and credibility

Pretend fighting: if martial arts, Take a shot.

Contortionist: chug

Television coverage and venue

Transmission goes a bit wonky

Preview video is completely pointless

Preview video is full of gormless smiles

National symbols are seen somewhere

Helicopter shots

Sped up or slowed down film

Prolonged video mixes

Colour replacement effects

Any special effect better than the songs

Judging

Bad time delays during video/audio link

Host/Hostess overlap with voter during video/audio link because of the bad delay

Host/Hostess have to hurry a voter for wasting time with pointless attempts to hog the feed.

The Commentator's predictions come true (one sip each)

The Commentator is genuinely surprised by a decision

Bad acts receive high (8+) points due to attractiveness of lead singer

The Commentator makes a snide comment about regional voting (see below for the usual offenders). Bonus sips for any of the following phrases:

Block voting

Mutual voting society still getting used to democracy

Vote for your neighbour contest

There's a discussion why Israel is involved

Reference made to Norway having null points

Norway gives points to Sweden but Sweden does not give any to Norway

Norway does not give Sweden any points at all: Take a shot.

Cyprus gives Greece 12 points or vice versa

France does not give United Kingdom any points

Monaco gives France 12 points

Germany gives any points at all to Austria: Take a shot.

Greece gives any points at all to Turkey: Take a shot.

United Kingdom gives Ireland 12 points or vice versa

United Kingdom comes second or last

Ireland win yet again

Acts are on their mobile phone to their family during voting

If the winning country declines to hold the event for any or all of the following: Take a shot.

Financial reasons

Political reasons

Personal reasons

Moral reasons

Optional extras

Begin each act with a shot of a drink native to that country

Choose a country to support and if it receives 1 to 7 points on any given vote: Take a shot.

if it receives 8, 10 or 12 points: Take a shot.

if it wins: just keep drinking throughout the reprise

Narrator: Thither art those who is't declare yond life is an illusion, and yond reality is but a figment of the imagination. If 't be true this is so, then Brad and Janet art quite safe, . However, the sudden departure of their host. And his creation. Into the seclusion of his sombre bridal suite did has't did leave those folk humour both apprehensive and uneasy, a humour which did groweth as the other guests departed, and they wast shown to their separate cubiculos.

~~~

Janet: who is't is't? Who is't's thither?

Frank (Brad): 't's only me,

Janet. Janet: Oh, Brad ladybird, cometh in. Oh! Brad Oh. Ay, mine ladybird. But what if 't be true.

Frank (Brad): 'T's valorous now, Janet, everything's going to beest valorous now.

Janet: Oh, I desire so, mine ladybird. Oh. Ah. Ahh OHHH! Oh 't's thou!

Frank: I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't 't nice.

Janet: Oh, thou beast, thou cockatrices. Oh what hast thou done with Brad?

Frank: Oh, well, nothing. Wherefore, doth thou bethink I shouldst?

Janet: thou fopped me.I wouldn't hast.I've nev'r. Nev'r.

Frank: ay, ay I wot, but 't isn't all lacking valor, is't? I bethink thou very much did find 't quite pleasurable.

Janet: Oh, cease.I cullionly holp. Brad Brad. Oh Brad!

Frank: Shhh. Brad's belike asleep by anon. Doth thou wanteth him to see thou like. This!

Janet: Like this. Like how! Oh, 't's thy fault. Thou're to censure. I wast saving myself.

Frank: Well, I'm sure thou're not did spend yet.

Janet: Gage thou did win't betoken Brad?

Frank: Cross mine heart and desire to kicketh the bucket.

~~~

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad ladybird, 't's nay valorous hither. 't'll destroy us.

Brad: Don't worry Janet, we'll beest aroint from hither in the morn.

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad thou're so stout and protective.

Brad: thou! Frank: I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't 't nice.

Brad: wherefore thou! What hast thou done with Janet?

Frank: Nothing. Wherefore? Doth thou bethink I shouldst?

Brad: Thou fopped me, I wouldn't hast.I've nev'r nev'r. Nev'r.

Frank: Oh ay ay, I wot. But 't isn't all lacking valor, is't? Not yea half lacking valor, I bethink thou very much quite did enjoy 't.

Frank: Oh. So soft.

Brad: Cease 't. Cease 't. Oh Janet. JANET!

Frank: Shhh! Janet's belike asleep by anon, doth thou wanteth that lady to see thou. Like this!

Brad: Like this, like how? 't's thy fault, thou're to censure, I did do bethink 't wast the real thing!

Frank: Oh cometh on, Brad, admit 't, thou did like 't, didn't thou? Thither's nay crime in giving yourself ov'r to pleasure,

Brad. Oh Brad, thou've did waste so much time already. Janet needn't wot, I did win't betoken.

Brad: Well, gage thou did win't betoken.

Frank: On mine mother's graoouuuuuu.

Riff Raff: Master, Rocky hath broken his chains and did vanish. The new playmate is loose and somewhere on the grounds. Magenta hath just released. The dogs.

Frank: Mmmmm? Coming!

~~~

Janet: What's happening hither? Whence's Brad? Whence's anybody?

Oh, Brad. Brad, mine ladybird, how couldst I hast done this to thou? Oh, if 't be true only we hadn't did maketh this journey. If 't be true only the car hadn't broken down. Oh, if 't be true only we wast amongst cater-cousins. Or sane persons, Oh Brad, what hast they done with him. ….

…..Oh, Brad, Oh Brad-How couldst thou?

Rocky: Errrrrr

Janet: Oh, but thou're did hurt. Did do they doth this to thou? Hither, I'll dress thy wounds. Baby thither.

~~~

Narrator: Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind. Vehement or excited mental state. 't is eke a powerful and irrational master. And from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly did view on their television monitor thither did seem dram doubt yond Janet wast, marry, . Its slave.

Magenta and Columbia: betoken us about 't, Janet.

(SONG) TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME

Janet: I wast humour done in,

couldn't winneth

I'd only ever did kiss 'ere.

Columbia: Thou cullionly the lady's.

Magenta: Uh Ha .

Janet: I did do bethink

thither's nay did lie-to getting

Into heavy petting

'T only leads to ado

And seat wetting.

Anon all I wanteth to wot

is how to wend.

I've did taste blood

and I wanteth moo.

Magenta and Columbia: Moo, moo, moo

Janet: I'll did put up nay resistance

I wanteth to stayeth the distance

I've did get an itch to scratch

I needeth assistance.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me

I wanteth to beest filthy

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me

Creature of the night.

Then if 't be true aught grows,

while thou pose,

I'll oil thou up

and rubbeth thou down.

Magenta and Columbia: Down, down, down.

Janet: And yond's just one

bawbling fraction

of the main attraction.

Thou needeth a gentle handeth

and I needeth action.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me

I wanteth to beest filthy

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me

Creature of the night.

Columbia: Toucha toucha toucha touch me

Magenta: I wanteth to beest filthy.

Columbia: Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,

Magenta: Creature of the night.

Janet: Oh, toucha toucha toucha touch me,

I wanteth to beest filthy

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,

Creature of the night.

Rocky: Creature of the night

Brad: Creature of the night?

Frank: Creature of the night.

Magenta: Creature of the night.

Riff Raff: Creature of the night.

Columbia: Creature of the night.

Rocky: Creature of the night!

Janet: Creature of the night.

~~~

Riff Raff: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Merrrrrcy!

Frank: How did do 't befall? I did understand thou wast to beest watching!

Riff Raff: I wast only aroint for a minute. Master.

Frank: Well, see if 't be true thou can findeth him on the monitor.

Riff Raff: Master, master. We hast a visitor.

Brad: Ho, Scotty!. Leech Everett Scott.

Riff Raff: Thou wot this earthling. Person?

Brad: I most forsooth doth! He happeneth to beest an corky cater-cousin of mine.

Frank: I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. Thou did do cometh hither with a purpose.

Brad: I did tell thou, mine carriage did do break down. I wast telling the sooth.

Frank: I wot what thou did tell me. But this Leech Everett Scott, his name is not unknown to me.

Brad: He wast a science teacher at Denton High School.

Frank: And anon he worketh for thy government, doesn't he,

Brad? He's attached to the bureau of investigation of yond which thou clepe UFO's! Isn't yond right, Brad?

Brad: He might beest.I don't wot.

Riff Raff: The intruder is entering the building, Master.

Frank: He'll belike beest. In the Zen cubiculo. Shalt we inquire of him in person?

Brad: Most wondrous Scott!

Scott: Frank N Furter, we meeteth at last.

Brad: Leech Scott!

Scott: Brad! What art thou doing hither?

Frank: Don't playeth games Leech Scott. Thou wot perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing hither. 't wast part of thy plan, wast 't not? Yond he and his female shouldst check the layout for thou. Well, unfortunately for thou, all the plans art to beest did do change. I am adaptable, Leech Scott; I wot Brad is.

Scott: I can assure thou yond Brad's presence hither cometh as a complete hoyday to me. I did do cometh hither to findeth Eddie.

Brad: Eddie! I've seen him! Frank: Eddie! What doth thou wot of Eddie, Leech Scott?

Scott: I befall to wot a most wondrous deal about a lot of things. Thou see Eddie happeneth to beest mine nephew.

Brad: Leech Scott.

Janet: Ah!

Scott: Janet!

Janet: Leech Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Scott: Janet!

Janet: Leech Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Scott: Janet!

Janet: Leech Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Frank: Hark.I did maketh thou. And I can breaketh thou just as easily.

Magenta: Master, dinner is did prepare!

Frank: Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to beest optional.

~~~

Narrator: Food hath at each moment did play a vital role in Life's rituals. The breaking of the bread, the last meal of the condemned sir, and anon, this meal. However informal 't might appeareth, thou can beest sure yond thither wast to beest very dram. Bon ami.

Frank: A toast. To absent cater-cousins.

All: To absent cater-cousins.

Frank: And Rocky. Joyous Birthday to thou, joyous Birthday to thou! Joyous Birthday lief Rocky…….. Shalt we?

Scott: We did do cometh hither to breaketh with Eddie.

Columbia: Eddie!

Frank: Yond's a rather tender subject. Another slice anyone?

Columbia: Fetch meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!.

Scott: I did knoweth he wast in with a lacking valor crowd, but 't wast worse than I did imagine. Aliens!

Rocky: Fie!

Brad & Janet: Leech Scott!

Frank: Wend on, Leech Scott. Or shouldst I declare Leech. Von Scott?

Brad: Just what jump art thou implying?

Scott: 't's valorous now!

Brad: But Leech Scott!

Scott: Yond's valorous now, Brad!

(Song) EDDIE

From the day he wast born

He wast ado.

He wast the thorn

In his mother's side.

The lady did tryeth in vain.

Narrator: But he nev'r did cause that lady nothing but shame.

Scott: He did leave home the day the lady did do kicketh the bucket.

From the day the lady wast gone

All he did want wast Rock 'n' Roll porn

And a mechanical horse.

Shooting up junk.

Narrator: He wast a base down vile dram punk!

Scott: Taking everyone for a ride.

All: at which hour Eddie did do sayeth

he didn't like his Teddy

thou did knoweth he wast

a nay-valorous peat.

But at which hour he threatened thy life

with a switch-blade bodkin

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: maketh thou caterwauling.

Scott: Und I did do.

Columbia: Everybody shoved him.

I very nearly did love him.

I did do sayeth, ho, hark to me;

stayeth sane inside insanity!

But he locked the door

and did throw aroint the key.

Scott: But he wilt hast been drawn

Into something,

Making him warn

Me in a note yond reads.

All: What's 't declare? What's 't declare?

Eddie's voice: I'm out of mine hed.

Oh, hie, or I may beest dead.

They mustn't carryeth out their evil deeds.

All: At which hour Eddie did do sayeth

he didn't like his Teddy

thou did knoweth he wast

a nay-valorous peat.

But at which hour he threatened thy life

with a switch-blade bodkin

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: maketh thou caterwauling.

Scott: Und I did do.

All: at which hour Eddie did do sayeth

he didn't like his Teddy

thou did knoweth he wast

a nay-valorous peat.

But at which hour he threatened thy life

with a switch-blade bodkin

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: Maketh thou caterwauling.

Scott: Und I did do.

Frank: Rocky! How couldst thou?

(SONG) WISE UP

FRANK: I'll betoken thou once;

I did win't betoken thou twice.

Thou'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.

Thy apple pie don't gust too nice.

Thou'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.

I've did did lie the seed;

'T shouldst beest all thou needeth.

Thou're as sensual as a pencil,

did wind up like an E or first string.

At which hour we did maketh 't, didja heareth a bell ring?

Ya gotta block?

Well, taketh mine counsel.

Thou better wise up, Janet Weiss.

The transducer wilt seduce ya.

Janet: Mine feet! I can't moveth mine feet!

Scott: Mine wheels! Mine God, I can't moveth mine wheels!

Brad: 't's as if 't be true we're glued to the spot!

Frank: thou art! So quake with fear, thou tiny daws!

Janet: We're did trap!

Frank: 't's something thou'll receiveth did use to.

A mental mind alas can beest nice.

Scott: Thou did win't findeth Earth people quite the easy mark thou imagine. This sonic transducer.'t is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibrato- physio-molecular transport device?

Brad: Thou cullionly.

Scott: Ay, Brad, 't's something we ourselves hast been working on for quite some time. But 't seemeth our cater-cousin hither hath did find a means of perfecting 't. A device which is capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting 't through space and, who is't knoweth, haply yea time. Itself!

Janet: Thou cullionly he's going to sendeth us to another planet?

Frank: Planet, shmanet, Janet!

Thou better wise up, Janet Weiss.

Thou better wise up, buildeth thy thighs up,

thou better wise up

Narrator: And then the lady did cry out.

Janet: Ceeeeeeeease!

Frank: Don't receiveth hot and flustered!

Did lie-to a did bite of mustard.

Brad: Thou're a hot dog,

but thou better not tryeth to did hurt

that lady, Frank Furter.

Scott: Thou're a hot dog,

but thou'd better not tryeth to did hurt

that lady, Frank Furter.

Janet: Thou're a hot dog …..

Columbia: Mine God! I can't standeth any moo of this! First thou spurn me for Eddie, and then thou throweth him off like an corky overcoat for Rocky! Thou cheweth people up and then thou spit those folk out again.I did love thou. Doth thou heareth me? I did love thou! And what did do 't receiveth me? Yeah, I'll betoken thou: a big nothing. Thou're like a sponge. Thou taketh, taketh, taketh, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've did has't enow. Thou're gonna chooseth between me and Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his mazzard.

Frank: 'T's not easy having a valorous time. Yea smiling maketh mine visage ache. And mine children turn on me. Rocky's behaving just the way yond Eddie did do. Doth thou bethink I did maketh a misprision, splitting his brain between the two of those folk?

Magenta: Ahhhh! I groweth veary of this ordinary! At which hour shalt we returneth to Transylvania, i understandeth thee not?

Frank: Magenta, I am marry grateful to both thou and thy brother Riff Raff. Thou hast both served me well. Loyalty such as yours shalt not wend unrewarded. Thou wilt discover yond at which hour the humour doth take me, I can beest quite generous.

Magenta: I asketh for nothing. Nothing.

Frank: And thou shalt taketh 't. In abundance! Cometh, we art eft for the floor bewray!

~~~

Narrator: And so, by some extraordinary co-incidence, fate, 't did seem, did has't did do decide yond Brad and Janet shouldst keepeth yond appointment with their cater-cousin, Leech Everett Scott. But 't wast to beest in a situation which none of those folk would hast possibly foreseen. And, just a few hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet did has't both did taste forbidden fruit. This in itself wast proof yond their host wast a sir of dram morals. And some persuasion. What further indignities wast they to beest subjected to? And what of the floor bewray yond is spoken of? In an exsufflicate house? In the middle of the night? What diabolical plan did has't been did shape by Frank's crazed imagination? What marry? From what did has't gone 'ere, 't wast clear yond this wast to beest nay picnic.

(SONG) DID RISE TINT MINE ORDINARY

Columbia: 't wast most wondrous at which hour 't

all did do beginneth.

I wast a regular Frankie fan.

But 't wast ov'r at which hour he did has't the plan

To start a-working on a muscle sir.

Anon the only thing yond gives me desire

Is mine love of a certain dope.

Did rise tints mine ordinary,

keeps me safe from mine ado and teen.

Rocky: I'm just seven hours corky,

And truly quite quaint to behold.

And somebody shouldst beest did tell

mine libido hasn't been did control.

Anon the only thing I've cometh to trust

Is an orgasmic drive of lust.

Did rise tints mine ordinary

and keeps me safe from mine ado and teen.

Brad: 't's beyond me;

holp me Mommy!

I'll beest valorous; thou'll see.

Taketh this dream aroint.

What's this? Did shalt we see,

I feeleth sexy!

What's cometh ov'r me?

Wo! Hither 't cometh again.

Janet: I feeleth released;

lacking valor times decease.

Mine confidence hath did increase;

reality is hither.

The game hath been disbanded.

Mine mind hath been did expand.

'T's a gas yond Frankie's did land!

His lust is so sincere.

(SONG) FANFARE/DON'T DREAM 'T

Frank: There's few or none will entertain

it betid to Fay Wray?

Yond delicate, satin-draped frame?

As 't did cling to that lady thigh

How I did start to caterwauling

'cause I did want to beest did dress

just the same.

Giveth yourself ov'r to absolute pleasure.

Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh.

Erotic conceit, beyond any measure

And sensual daydreams to treasure still.

Can't thou just see 't? Oh, oh, oh. Oh!

Don't dream 't, beest 't.

All: Don't dream 't, beest 't.

Scott: Ach! We've did get to receiveth out of this trap

'ere this decadence saps our wills.

I've did get to beest stout, and tryeth to hang on,

or else mine mind may well snap,

and mine life wilt beest did live. For the thrills!

Brad: 't's beyond me; holp me Mommy!

Janet: God bless Lili St. Cyr..

(SONG) WILD AND UNTAMED THING

Frank: Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,

mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

Mine! I'm a wild and an untamed thing.

I'm a bee with a deadly sting.

Thou receiveth a did hit and thy mind goeth ping.

Thy heart'll thump and thy blood wilt sing.

So did let the party and the sounds rock on.

We're gonna shake 't 'till the life hath gone.

Did rise tint mine ordinary,

keepeth me safe from mine ado and teen.

All: We're a wild and an untamed thing.

We're bees with a deadly sting.

Thou receiveth a did hit and thy mind goeth ping.

Thy heart'll thump and thy blood wilt sing.

So did let the party and the sounds rock on.

We're gonna shake 't 'till the life hath gone.

Did rise tint mine ordinary,

keepeth me safe from mine ado and teen.

We're a wild and an untamed thing.

We're bees with a deadly sting.

Thou receiveth a did hit and thy mind goeth ping.

Thy heart'll thump and thy blood wilt sing.

So did let the party and the sounds rock on.

We're gonna shake 't 'till the life hath gone, gone, gone.

Did rise tint mine ordinary,

keepeth me safe from mine ado and teen.

Riff Raff: Frank N Furter, 't's all ov'r.

Thy mission is a failure;

thy lifestyle's too extreme.

I'm thy new commander;

thou anon art mine prisoner.

We returneth to Transylvania.

Prepare the transit beam.

Frank: Wait! I can dilate!

(SONG) I'M GOING HOME

Frank: On the day I did wend aroint

All: Goodbye.

Frank: Wast all I did has't to declare.

All: Anon I.

Frank: I wanteth to cometh again, and stayeth.

All: Oh, mine, mine.

Frank: Smileth, and yond wilt cullionly I may.

'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies,

Through the gouts of sorrow in mine eyes

And I realize, I'm going home.

All: I'm going home.

Frank: Everywhere 't's been the same.

All: Humour.

Frank: Like I'm outside in the rain.

All: Wheeling.

Frank: Free to tryeth and findeth a game.

All: Dealing.

Frank: Cards for sorrow, cards for teen.

'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies

Through the gouts of sorrow in mine eyes

And I realize, I'm going home.

Frank & All: I'm going home.

Magenta: How sentimental.

Riff Raff: And eke presumptuous of thou. Thou see, at which hour I did do sayeth WE wast to returneth to Transylvania, I did refer only to Magenta and myself. I'm my most humble apology, however, if 't be true thou did find mine words misleading, but thou see, thou art to remain hither, in spirit, did conclude, be 't.

Scott: Most wondrous heavens! Yond's a laser!

Riff Raff: Ay, Leech. Scott. A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti- matter.

Brad: Thou cullionly. Thou're going to killeth him? What's his crime?

Scott: Thou did see what did do becometh of Eddie. Society wilt beest did protect.

Riff Raff: Jump, Leech. Scott. And anon, Frank N Furter, thy time hath cometh. Declare goodbye to all of this, and valorous morrow to thee, sir. To oblivion!

Brad: Valorous God!

Janet: Oh! Thou did kill those folk!

Magenta: But I did do bethink thou did like those folk. They did like thou.

Riff Raff: They didn't like me! He nev'r did like ME!

Scott: thou did do right.

Riff Raff: A decision did has't to beest did maketh.

Scott: thou're O.K. By me.

Riff Raff: Leech Scott, I'm my most humble apology about thy nephew.

Scott: Eddie? Ay, well, haply 't wast all for the most wondrous, heh, heh, heh.

Riff: Thou shouldst leaveth anon, Leech Scott, while 't is still possible. We art about to beam the entire house to the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania…. Wend…. Anon! Our gentle mission is did complete, mine most quite quaint sister, and lief we shalt returneth to the moon-drenched stronds of our beloved planet.

Magenta: Ah, sweet Transsexual, land of night. To sing and dance once moo to thy dark refrain. To taketh yond - grise, to the right. Both: HAH!

Riff Raff: But 't's the pelvic did thrust.

Transylvanians: Yond drives thou insane!

Magenta: And our ordinary. Wilt doth the Time Warp. Again!

(SONG) SUPER HEROES

Brad: I've done a lot;

God knoweth I've did tryeth

To findeth the sooth.

I've yea did lie.

But all I wot is down inside I'm ..

All: Bleeding.

Janet: And super heroes

cometh to the feast

To gust the flesh

not yet deceased.

And all I wot

is still the beast is…

All: Feeding. Ahh, ahh.

Narrator: And crawling

on the planet's visage

Some insects,

did do call the human race.

Did lose in time,

and did lose in space,

And meaning.

All: Meaning.

(SONG) SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FAVOUR - REPRISE

Usherette: Science Fiction Double favour.

Frank hath did do build and did lose his creature.

Darkness hath did conquer Brad and Janet.

The meiny gone to A distant planet.

Wo, oh, oh, oh.

At the late night, double favour,

Picture bewray.

I wanteth to wend, oh, oh, oh.

To the late night, double favour,

Pic….ture …………bewray.

Written by Richard O’Brien and

The Rocky Horror Picture Showeth

Shakespearian English version. - 2018

(SONG) SCIENCE FICTION DOUBLETH FAVOUR

Usherette: Michael Rennie wast ill

The Day the Earth did stand Still

But he did tell us whence we standeth.

And Flash Gordon wast thither

In silver underwear,

Claude Rains wast the eyeless sir.

Then something did wend wrong

For Fay Wray and King Kong;

They did get did do catch in a celluloid jam.

Then at a deadly pace 't did do cometh From Outer Space. And this is how the message did runneth:

Chorus: Science fiction, doubleth favour

leech X wilt buildeth a creature.

See androids fighting Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet

Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh

At the late night, doubleth favour, picture showeth.

Usherette: I did knoweth Leo G. Carrol wast ov'r a barrel at which hour Tarantula did take to the hills.

And I very much did get hot

at which hour I did see Jeanette Scott

mortal arbitrament a triffid yond spits poison and kills.

Dana Andrews did do sayeth Prunes

did giveth him the runes

And passing those folk did use lots of arts.

But at which hour Worlds Collide,

did do sayeth George Powell to his bride,

"I'm gonna giveth thou some lacking valor thrills, Like a.

Chorus: Science fiction, doubleth favour

Leech X wilt buildeth a creature.

See androids fighting Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet

Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh

At the late night, doubleth favour, picture showeth.

I wisheh to wend Oh Oh Oh

To the late night doubleth favour picture showeth

By RKO, Oh Oh Oh

To the late night doubleth favour picture showeth

In the back row,

Oh Oh Oh To the late night, doubleth favour,

Picture showeth….

~~~

Dentonian: H're those gents cometh! Photographeth'r: alloweth's receiveth a picture. Closeth togeth'r anon. The folks and then the grandparents. Aye, all the closeth family. Ahhh, holdeth yond. quite quaint. And. smileth! congratulations!

Ralph: I guesseth we finally didst t, I understand you not.

Brad: I bethink not th're's any doubteth about yond. Thee and Betty has't been almost inseparable since thee hath met in Leech Scott's refresh'r courses.

Ralph: Well to bid thee the sooth, Brad, yond's the only reasoneth i hath shown up in the first lodging.

Betty: O. K. thee guys, this is't.

Ralph: Well Betty's going to throweth the bouquet.

Janet: I did get t! I did get t!

Ralph: Ho big fella, looks liketh t couldst beest thy turneth next, eh?

Brad: Who is't knoweth.

Ralph: Well, so longeth, seeth thee Brad. Guesseth we bett'r receiveth going anon Betty. Cometh on, hopeth in. Seeth ya, Brad!

Janet: Oh Brad, wasn't t wond'rful? didn't Betty behold radiantly quite quaint? I can't believeth t. An hour ago the lady wast just plain fusty Betty Munroe and anon. anon the lady's Mrs. Ralph Hapschatt.

Brad: Aye Janet, Ralph's a lucky Sir.

Janet: Aye.

Dentonian Wench: I at each moment caterwauling at weddings.

Brad: Uh, ev'ryone knoweth yond Betty is a wond'rful dram cook.

Janet: Aye.

Brad: Wherefore Ralph himself, that gent'll beest in line f'r a promotion in a year 'r two.

Janet: Aye.

Brad: Ho Janet.

Janet: Aye brad?

Brad: I've did get something to sayeth.

Janet: Uh i understand you not.

Brad: I very much loveth the. skilful way. Thee did beat the oth'r girls, to the bride's bouquet.

Janet: Oh Brad.

(SONG) ALAS’T JANET..

Brad: The riv'r wast deep but I did swim t. (Janet)

The future is ours so alloweth's planeth t. (Janet)

So prithee, bid not me to can t. (Janet)

I've one thing to sayeth and yond's dammit, Janet i loveth thee.

The road wast longeth but i ranneth t. (Janet)

Th're's a fireth in mine own heart and thee fan t. (Janet)

If 't be true th're's one daw f'r thee then I am t. (Janet)

I've one thing to sayeth and yond's

Alas’t Janet I loveth thee.

H're's a ringeth to proveth yond I'm nay jok'r.

Th're's three ways yond loveth can groweth.

Yond's valorous, lacking valor, 'r mediocre.

Oh, J-a-n-e-t I loveth thee so.

Janet: Oh, t's nic'r than Betty Munroe hadst. (oh Brad)

Anon we're engag'd and I'm so fain (oh Brad)

Yond thee hath met mother and thee knoweth father. (oh Brad)

I've one thing to sayeth and yond's Brad,

I'm nimble-footed, f'r thee too.

Oh Brad.

Brad: Oh. Alas 't !

Janet: I'm nimble-footed.

Brad: Oh, Janet.

Janet: F'r thee.

Brad: I loveth thee too

Brad & Janet: Thither's one thing did leave to doth - ah - oo.

Brad: And yond's wend see the sir

who is't did do beginneth 't. (Janet)

At which hour we did meet in his science exam - 't (Janet)

did maketh me giveth thou the eye and then panic. (Janet)

Anon I've one thing to declare and yond's,

Alas ‘t Janet,

I love thou.

Alas ‘t Janet.

Janet: Oh Brad, I'm nimble-footed.

Brad: Alas’t, Janet.

Brad & Janet: I love thou.

~~~

Narrator: I would like, ah, if 't be true I may, . To taketh thou on a strange journey. 't did seem a fairly ordinary night at which hour Brad Majors and his fiancee Janet Weiss, two young, ordinary, healthy kids, didst leave Denton yond late November evening, to visit a Leech, Everett Scott, ex-tutor, and anon cater-cousin to both of those folk. 't's true thither wast dark storm clouds, heavy, black, and pendulous, towards which they wast embarking.

'T's true, eke, yond the spare Wheel they wast carrying wast badly in needeth of some repair, but, uh, they being ingraft kids and, on a night night out.

Well, they wast not going to did let a storm spoil the events of their evening, wast they?

On a night out. 't wast a night out they wast going to recall. For a very long time.

~~~

Janet: Gosh, yond's the third carriage yond's did pass us. They sure doth taketh their liveth in their hands, what with the weather and all.

Brad: Ay, life's quaint vile to yond type.

Janet: Oh.. What's the matter, Brad ladybird?

Brad: Hmmm. We wilt hast taken the wrong fork a few miles back.

Janet: Oh, but whence did do yond carriage cometh from?

Brad: Hmmm. Well I guess we'll just hast to turn back.

Janet: Oh! What wast yond bang?

Brad: We wilt hast a breaketh. ALAS ‘T ! I did knoweth I shouldst hast gotten yond spare wheel did fix. Well, thou just stayeth hither keepeth warm and I'll wend for holp.

Janet: But whence wilt thou wend in the middle of nowhere?

Brad: Didn't we passeth a castle back down the road a few miles? Haply they hast a Messenger I couldst did lie-to.

Janet: I'm going with thou.

Brad: Oh, nay, ladybird, thither's nay sense in both of us getting did wet.

Janet: I'm coming with thou! Besides ladybird, the owner of yond messenger might beest a quite quaint mistress, and thou might nev'r cometh back again.

Brad: Heh, heh, heh, heh.

(SONG) OV’R AT THE FRANKENSTEIN LODGING

Janet: In the velvet darkness, Of the blackest night, Burning bright, thither's a guiding star. Nay matter what or who is't thou art.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light.

Chorus: Ov'r at the Frankenstein lodging.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light.

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.

Riff Raff: The darkness wilt wend down the river of night's dreaming. Flow morphia slow, did let the travelling lamp and light cometh streaming Into mine life. Into mine life.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light.

Chorus: Ov'r at the Frankenstein lodging.

Brad & Janet: thither's a light.

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace. Thither's a light, a light

Brad & Janet: In the darkness of everybody's life.

Brad: I can see the flag fly I can see the rain Just the same, thither hath did get to beest Something better hither for thou and me.

~~~

Narrator: And so, 't did seem yond fortune did has't did smile on Brad and Janet and yond they did has't did find the assistance yond their plight required.. Or did has't they?

Janet: Brad, did shalt we wend back, I'm bitter cold and I'm gasted.

Brad: Just a moment Janet, they might hast a messenger .

Riff Raff: Valorous morrow to thee, sir.

Brad: Good morrow! Mine name is Brad Majors, and this is mine fiancee, Janet Weiss. I wonder if 't be true thou couldst holp us. Thou see, our carriage did do break down a few miles up the road. Doth thou hast a messenger we might did lie-to?

Riff Raff: Thou're did wet.

Janet: Ay - 't's raining.

Brad: Ay.

Riff Raff: Ay. I bethink haply thou better both cometh inside

Janet: Thou're too kind… Oh Brad, I'm gasted. What kind of a lodging is this?

Brad: Oh, 't's belike some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.

Janet: Oh.

Riff Raff: This way.

Janet: Art thou having a party?

Riff Raff: thou've arrived on a rather special night. 't's one of the master's affairs.

Janet: Oh, lucky him.

Magenta: Thou're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! Ha ha ha.

(SONG) THE TIME WARP

Riff Raff: 't's astounding; Time is fleeting; Madness doth take its toll. But hark closely.

Magenta: Not for very much longer.

Riff Raff: I've did get to keepeth control. I recall doing the time-warp Drinking those moments at which hour The blackness would did hit me

Riff & Magenta: And a void would beest calling.

Transylvanians: did shalt we doth the time-warp again. Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Narrator: 't's just a jump to the did leave.

All: And then a grise to the right.

Narrator: With thy hands on thy hips.

All: thou endue thy hams in tight.

But 't's the pelvic did thrust

yond very much drives thou insane.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Magenta: 't's so dreamy,

Oh figure free me.

So thou can't see me,

Nay, not at all.

In another dimension,

with voyeuristic intention,

Well secluded, I see all.

Riff Raff: With a did bite of a mind flip

Magenta: Thou're into the time slip.

Riff Raff: And nothing can ever beest the same.

Magenta: Thou're spaced out on sensation.

Riff Raff: Like thou're under sedation.

All: Did shalt we doth the time-warp again. Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Columbia: Well I wast walking down the street

just a-having a bethink

at which hour this snake of a guy

did giveth me an evil wink.

He did shake me up, he did take me by hoyday

He did has't a pickup cart,

and the flibbertigibbet's eyes.

He did stare at me and I did feel a changeth.

Time did mean nothing, nev'r would again.

All: Did shalt we doth the time-warp again

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Narrator: 'T's just a jump to the did leave!

All: And then a grise to the right.

Narrator: With thy hands on thy hips.

All: Thou endue thy hams in tight.

But 't's the pelvic did thrust

yond very much drives thou insane.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Narrator: 'T's just a jump to the did leave!

All: And then a grise to the right.

Narrator: With thy hands on thy hips.

All: Thou endue thy hams in tight.

But 't's the pelvic did thrust

yond very much drives thou insane.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Janet: Brad, declare something.

Brad: Declare, doth any of thou guys wot how to Madison?

Janet: Brad, prithee, did shalt we receiveth out of hither.

Brad: For God's sake keepeth a grip on yourself Janet.

Janet: But 't. 't seemeth so unhealthy hither.

Brad: 'T's just a party, Janet.

Janet: Well - I wanteth to wend.

Brad: Well we can't wend anywhere until I receiveth to a messenger.

Janet: Well then asketh the butler or someone.

Brad: Just a moment, Janet - we don't wanteth to interfere with their celebration.

Janet: This isn't the Junior Cubiculo of Commerce, Brad.

Brad: They're belike foreigners with ways different than our own. They may doth some moo. Folk dancing.

Janet: Behold, I'm bitter cold, I'm did wet, and I'm just plain gasted!

Brad: I'm hither - thither's nothing to worry about.

(SONG) SWEET TRANSVESTITE

Frank: How doth thou doth,

I See thou've did meet mine Faithful handyman.

He's just a dram did do bring down

Because at which hour thou knapped

He did do bethink thou wast the candyman.

Don't receiveth did string out by the way I behold.

Don't judge a booketh by its covereth.

I'm not much of a sir by the light of day

But by night I'm one hell of a lover.

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Did let me bewray thou 'round

Haply playeth thou a sound.

Thou behold like thou're both quaint groovy.

Or if 't be true thou wanteth something visual

Yond's not too abysmal,

We couldst taketh in an corky Steve Reeves tale.

Brad: I'm fain we did do catch thou at home,

couldst we did lie-to thy messenger?

We're both in a did bite of a hie.

Janet: Right.

Brad: We'll just declare whence we art,

Then wend back to the cart.

We don't wanteth to beest any worry.

Frank: Well thou did get did do catch with a champain,

well, how 'bout yond?

Well, babies, don't thou panic.

By the light of the night

't'll all seemeth valorous now.

I'll receiveth thou a satanic mechanical.

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Wherefore don't thou stayeth for the night?

Riff Raff: Night.

Frank: Or haply a bite?

Columbia: Bite.

Frank: I couldst bewray thou mine minion obsession. I've been making a sir With blond hair and a tan

And he's valorous for relieving mine.

Tension I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Did hit 't, did hit 't!

I'm just a sweet transvestite

Frank, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Sweet transvestite

Frank: From Transsexual,

Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Transylvania.

Frank: So - cometh up to the lab,

And see what's on the slab.

I see thou shiver with antici --- pation.

But haply the rain

Is very much to censure.

So I'll remove the cause.

But not the symptom.

Janet: Oh! Brad!

Brad: 't's valorous now Janet. We'll playeth 'long for anon and dismount the aces at which hour the time is right.

Columbia: Oh, but soft, but soft! 't's too nice a job to drive.

Brad: good morrow, mine name is Brad Majors, and this is mine fiancee, Janet Weiss; ah. Thou art?

Columbia: thou're very lucky to beest did invite up to Frank's laboratory. Some people would giveth their right armeth for the privilege.

Brad: People like thou haply.

Columbia: Ha! I've seen 't.

Riff Raff: cometh 'long - the master doesn't like to beest did keep waiting.

Magenta: Shift 't!

Janet: Is he, um, Frank I cullionly - is he thy husband?

Riff Raff: The master is not yet did marry, nor doth I bethink he ever wilt beest. We art simply his meiny.

Janet: Oh.

Frank: Magenta, Columbia - wend assist Riff Raff. I wilt entertain. Uh i understandeth thee not i understandeth thee not.

Brad: Brad Majors. This is mine fiancee, Janet "Vice".

Janet: Weiss.

Brad: Weiss? Um.

Frank: Enchante. Well! How nice. And what charming underclothes thou both hast. But hither. Did put these on. They'll maketh thou feeleth less. Vulnerable. 't's not oft we taketh visitors hither, did let high-lone tender those folk. Hospitality.

Brad: Hospitality? All we did want to doth wast to did lie-to thy messenger, God alas ‘t, a reasonable request which thou've chosen to ignore!

Janet: Brad, don't beest ungrateful.

Brad: Ungrateful!

Frank: How forceful thou art, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So. Dominant. Thou wilt beest awfully fustian of him, Janet.

Janet: Well, ay I am.

Frank: doth thou hast any tattoos,

Brad? Brad: forsooth not! Frank: Oh well. How about thou?

Janet: nay.

Riff Raff: Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await thy. Word.

Frank: Tonight, mine unconventional conventionists. Thou art about to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research. And elysium is to beest mine! 't wast strange the way 't betid. Suddenly thou receiveth a breaketh. Whole pieces seemeth to fit into lodging, not a sign of being. What a daw! The answer wast thither all the time, 't did take a bawbling accident to maketh 't befall. AN ACCIDENT.

Magenta & Columbia: An accident!

Frank: And yond's how I did discover the secret, yond elusive ingredient, yond SPARK yond is the breath of life. Ay, I hast yond knowledge. I hold the secret. To life. Itself! Thou see, thou art fortunate for tonight is the night yond mine quite quaint creature is destined to beest BORN! Hoopla!.

Frank: Throweth ope the switches on the sonic oscillator. And grise the reactor power did input THREE moo POINTS!

Janet: Oh, Brad!

Brad: 'T's valorous now, Janet!

Frank: Oh! Rocky!

(SONG) BODKIN OF DAMOCLES

Rocky: The bodkin of Damocles is hanging ov'r mine mazzard,

And I've did get the humour someone's gonna beest cutting the thread.

Frank: Thou blinking clotpole!

Rocky: Oh, woe is me, mine life is a misery.

Oh, can't thou see, yond

I'm at the start of a quaint big downer.

I did wake up this morn

with a start at which hour

I did fall out of catch but a wink chamber.

All: yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: And did leave from mine dreaming wast a humour of unnameable dread.

All: yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: mine high is base,

I'm did dress up with nay lodging to wend.

And all I wot is

I'm at the start of a quaint big downer.

Frank: Oh, Rocky!

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh ho nay nay

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh ho nay nay

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh ho nay nay

Rocky: The bodkin of Damocles

is hanging ov'r mine mazzard.

Frank: Well, very much!

All: Yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: And I've did get the humour

someone's going to beest cutting the thread.

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh, woe is me,

mine life is a mystery

And, can't thou see,

yond I'm at the start of a quaint big downer

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh nay nay nay.

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh nay nay nay.

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime,

Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime,

Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime,

Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime,

Sha-la-la.

Frank: Well very much. Yond's nay way to behave on thy first day out.

Rocky: Fie fie

Frank: But since thou're such an exceptional beauty, I am did prepare to forgive thou.

Rocky: Fie fie

Frank: Oh, I just love success.

Riff Raff: He's a credit to thy genius, master.

Frank: ay.

Magenta: A triumph of thy wilt.

Frank: Ay.

Columbia: He's O.K.

Frank: O.K? O.K? I bethink we can doth better than yond. Humph! Well, Brad and Janet, what doth thou bethink of him?

Janet: Well, I don't like men with too many muscles.

Frank: I didn't maketh him FOR thou! He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval.

(SONG) I CAN MAKETH THOU A SIR (part I)

Frank: A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds

wilt receiveth sand in his visage

at which hour did kick to the did grind;

And lief in the gym with a did determine chin,

The did sweat from his pores as he worketh for his cause

wilt maketh him glisten. And gleam.

And with massage, and just a dram did bite of steam,

He'll beest pink and quite crisp

He'll beest a stout sir.

Oh honey.

Frank & Transylvanians: But the wrong sir.

Frank: He'll englut nutritious high protein.

And swallow raw eggs.

Tryeth to buildeth up his shoulders,

his chest, arms, and, forks.

Such an effort if 't be true

he only did knoweth of mine plan.

In just seven days.

Frank & Transylvanians: I can maketh thou a sir.

Frank: He'll doth press-ups, and chin-ups,

doth the snatch, crisp and jackanapes.

He thinkest dynamic tension wilt beest hard worketh.

Such strenuous living I just don't understandeth,

at which hour in just seven days, oh baby, .

I can maketh thou a sir.

Columbia: Eddie!

(SONG) HOT PATOOTIE (BLESS MINE SOUL)

Eddie: There's few or none will entertain

it betid to Saturday night,

at which hour thou did dress up sharp

and thou did feel valorous now?

'T don't seemeth the same since cosmic light

did do cometh into mine life,

I did do bethink I wast divine.

I did use to wend for a ride with a wench who is't'd wend,

And hark to the music on the mintrels showeth;

AN instrument wast blowin' in a rock 'n roll bewray.

Thou did climb in the back seat,

thou very much did has't a valorous time.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Mine mazzard did use to swim

from the civet I smelled.

Mine hands kind of fumbled

with that lady white plastic belt.

I'd gust that lady baby pink lipstick

and yond's at which hour I'd melt

And the lady'd whisper in mine ear

tonight the lady very much wast mine.

Receiveth back in front,

did put some hair oil on

Buddy Holly wast singing

his very last song.

With thy arms 'round thy wench

thou'd tryeth to sing 'long.

'T did feel quaint valorous.

Woo! Thou very much did has't a valorous time.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Frank: One from the vaults. …. Oh baby. Don't beest did upset. 't wast a mercy killing. He did has't a certain naive charm, but nay muscle. Oh!

(SONG) I CAN MAKETH THOU A SIR (part II)

Frank: But a deltoid and a bicep.

A hot groin and a tricep.

Maketh me, oooh, shake,

maketh me wanteth to taketh

Charles Atlas by the

Ha-ha-handeth.

Frank & Transylvanians: In just seven days I can maketh thou a sir.

Frank: I don't wanteth nay dissention, just dynamic tension.

Janet: I'm a muscle fan.

Frank: In just seven days,

I can maketh thou a sir

Dig 't if 't be true thou can

In just seven days,

I can maketh thou a sir.

Transylvanians: Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!

Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!

Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!

Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah.

Narrator: Thither art those who is't declare yond life is an illusion, and yond reality is but a figment of the imagination. If 't be true this is so, then Brad and Janet art quite safe, . However, the sudden departure of their host. And his creation. Into the seclusion of his sombre bridal suite did has't did leave those folk humour both apprehensive and uneasy, a humour which did groweth as the other guests departed, and they wast shown to their separate cubiculos.

~~~

Janet: who is't is't? Who is't's thither?

Frank (Brad): 't's only me,

Janet. Janet: Oh, Brad ladybird, cometh in. Oh! Brad Oh. Ay, mine ladybird. But what if 't be true.

Frank (Brad): 'T's valorous now, Janet, everything's going to beest valorous now.

Janet: Oh, I desire so, mine ladybird. Oh. Ah. Ahh OHHH! Oh 't's thou!

Frank: I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't 't nice.

Janet: Oh, thou beast, thou cockatrices. Oh what hast thou done with Brad?

Frank: Oh, well, nothing. Wherefore, doth thou bethink I shouldst?

Janet: thou fopped me.I wouldn't hast.I've nev'r. Nev'r.

Frank: ay, ay I wot, but 't isn't all lacking valor, is't? I bethink thou very much did find 't quite pleasurable.

Janet: Oh, cease.I cullionly holp. Brad Brad. Oh Brad!

Frank: Shhh. Brad's belike asleep by anon. Doth thou wanteth him to see thou like. This!

Janet: Like this. Like how! Oh, 't's thy fault. Thou're to censure. I wast saving myself.

Frank: Well, I'm sure thou're not did spend yet.

Janet: Gage thou did win't betoken Brad?

Frank: Cross mine heart and desire to kicketh the bucket.

~~~

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad ladybird, 't's nay valorous hither. 't'll destroy us.

Brad: Don't worry Janet, we'll beest aroint from hither in the morn.

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad thou're so stout and protective.

Brad: thou! Frank: I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't 't nice.

Brad: wherefore thou! What hast thou done with Janet?

Frank: Nothing. Wherefore? Doth thou bethink I shouldst?

Brad: Thou fopped me, I wouldn't hast.I've nev'r nev'r. Nev'r.

Frank: Oh ay ay, I wot. But 't isn't all lacking valor, is't? Not yea half lacking valor, I bethink thou very much quite did enjoy 't.

Frank: Oh. So soft.

Brad: Cease 't. Cease 't. Oh Janet. JANET!

Frank: Shhh! Janet's belike asleep by anon, doth thou wanteth that lady to see thou. Like this!

Brad: Like this, like how? 't's thy fault, thou're to censure, I did do bethink 't wast the real thing!

Frank: Oh cometh on, Brad, admit 't, thou did like 't, didn't thou? Thither's nay crime in giving yourself ov'r to pleasure,

Brad. Oh Brad, thou've did waste so much time already. Janet needn't wot, I did win't betoken.

Brad: Well, gage thou did win't betoken.

Frank: On mine mother's graoouuuuuu.

Riff Raff: Master, Rocky hath broken his chains and did vanish. The new playmate is loose and somewhere on the grounds. Magenta hath just released. The dogs.

Frank: Mmmmm? Coming!

~~~

Janet: What's happening hither? Whence's Brad? Whence's anybody?

Oh, Brad. Brad, mine ladybird, how couldst I hast done this to thou? Oh, if 't be true only we hadn't did maketh this journey. If 't be true only the car hadn't broken down. Oh, if 't be true only we wast amongst cater-cousins. Or sane persons, Oh Brad, what hast they done with him. ….

…..Oh, Brad, Oh Brad-How couldst thou?

Rocky: Errrrrr

Janet: Oh, but thou're did hurt. Did do they doth this to thou? Hither, I'll dress thy wounds. Baby thither.

~~~

Narrator: Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind. Vehement or excited mental state. 't is eke a powerful and irrational master. And from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly did view on their television monitor thither did seem dram doubt yond Janet wast, marry, . Its slave.

Magenta and Columbia: betoken us about 't, Janet.

(SONG) TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME

Janet: I wast humour done in,

couldn't winneth

I'd only ever did kiss 'ere.

Columbia: Thou cullionly the lady's.

Magenta: Uh Ha .

Janet: I did do bethink

thither's nay did lie-to getting

Into heavy petting

'T only leads to ado

And seat wetting.

Anon all I wanteth to wot

is how to wend.

I've did taste blood

and I wanteth moo.

Magenta and Columbia: Moo, moo, moo

Janet: I'll did put up nay resistance

I wanteth to stayeth the distance

I've did get an itch to scratch

I needeth assistance.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me

I wanteth to beest filthy

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me

Creature of the night.

Then if 't be true aught grows,

while thou pose,

I'll oil thou up

and rubbeth thou down.

Magenta and Columbia: Down, down, down.

Janet: And yond's just one

bawbling fraction

of the main attraction.

Thou needeth a gentle handeth

and I needeth action.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me

I wanteth to beest filthy

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me

Creature of the night.

Columbia: Toucha toucha toucha touch me

Magenta: I wanteth to beest filthy.

Columbia: Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,

Magenta: Creature of the night.

Janet: Oh, toucha toucha toucha touch me,

I wanteth to beest filthy

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,

Creature of the night.

Rocky: Creature of the night

Brad: Creature of the night?

Frank: Creature of the night.

Magenta: Creature of the night.

Riff Raff: Creature of the night.

Columbia: Creature of the night.

Rocky: Creature of the night!

Janet: Creature of the night.

~~~

Riff Raff: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Merrrrrcy!

Frank: How did do 't befall? I did understand thou wast to beest watching!

Riff Raff: I wast only aroint for a minute. Master.

Frank: Well, see if 't be true thou can findeth him on the monitor.

Riff Raff: Master, master. We hast a visitor.

Brad: Ho, Scotty!. Leech Everett Scott.

Riff Raff: Thou wot this earthling. Person?

Brad: I most forsooth doth! He happeneth to beest an corky cater-cousin of mine.

Frank: I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. Thou did do cometh hither with a purpose.

Brad: I did tell thou, mine carriage did do break down. I wast telling the sooth.

Frank: I wot what thou did tell me. But this Leech Everett Scott, his name is not unknown to me.

Brad: He wast a science teacher at Denton High School.

Frank: And anon he worketh for thy government, doesn't he,

Brad? He's attached to the bureau of investigation of yond which thou clepe UFO's! Isn't yond right, Brad?

Brad: He might beest.I don't wot.

Riff Raff: The intruder is entering the building, Master.

Frank: He'll belike beest. In the Zen cubiculo. Shalt we inquire of him in person?

Brad: Most wondrous Scott!

Scott: Frank N Furter, we meeteth at last.

Brad: Leech Scott!

Scott: Brad! What art thou doing hither?

Frank: Don't playeth games Leech Scott. Thou wot perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing hither. 't wast part of thy plan, wast 't not? Yond he and his female shouldst check the layout for thou. Well, unfortunately for thou, all the plans art to beest did do change. I am adaptable, Leech Scott; I wot Brad is.

Scott: I can assure thou yond Brad's presence hither cometh as a complete hoyday to me. I did do cometh hither to findeth Eddie.

Brad: Eddie! I've seen him! Frank: Eddie! What doth thou wot of Eddie, Leech Scott?

Scott: I befall to wot a most wondrous deal about a lot of things. Thou see Eddie happeneth to beest mine nephew.

Brad: Leech Scott.

Janet: Ah!

Scott: Janet!

Janet: Leech Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Scott: Janet!

Janet: Leech Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Scott: Janet!

Janet: Leech Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Frank: Hark.I did maketh thou. And I can breaketh thou just as easily.

Magenta: Master, dinner is did prepare!

Frank: Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to beest optional.

~~~

Narrator: Food hath at each moment did play a vital role in Life's rituals. The breaking of the bread, the last meal of the condemned sir, and anon, this meal. However informal 't might appeareth, thou can beest sure yond thither wast to beest very dram. Bon ami.

Frank: A toast. To absent cater-cousins.

All: To absent cater-cousins.

Frank: And Rocky. Joyous Birthday to thou, joyous Birthday to thou! Joyous Birthday lief Rocky…….. Shalt we?

Scott: We did do cometh hither to breaketh with Eddie.

Columbia: Eddie!

Frank: Yond's a rather tender subject. Another slice anyone?

Columbia: Fetch meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!.

Scott: I did knoweth he wast in with a lacking valor crowd, but 't wast worse than I did imagine. Aliens!

Rocky: Fie!

Brad & Janet: Leech Scott!

Frank: Wend on, Leech Scott. Or shouldst I declare Leech. Von Scott?

Brad: Just what jump art thou implying?

Scott: 't's valorous now!

Brad: But Leech Scott!

Scott: Yond's valorous now, Brad!

(Song) EDDIE

From the day he wast born

He wast ado.

He wast the thorn

In his mother's side.

The lady did tryeth in vain.

Narrator: But he nev'r did cause that lady nothing but shame.

Scott: He did leave home the day the lady did do kicketh the bucket.

From the day the lady wast gone

All he did want wast Rock 'n' Roll porn

And a mechanical horse.

Shooting up junk.

Narrator: He wast a base down vile dram punk!

Scott: Taking everyone for a ride.

All: at which hour Eddie did do sayeth

he didn't like his Teddy

thou did knoweth he wast

a nay-valorous peat.

But at which hour he threatened thy life

with a switch-blade bodkin

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: maketh thou caterwauling.

Scott: Und I did do.

Columbia: Everybody shoved him.

I very nearly did love him.

I did do sayeth, ho, hark to me;

stayeth sane inside insanity!

But he locked the door

and did throw aroint the key.

Scott: But he wilt hast been drawn

Into something,

Making him warn

Me in a note yond reads.

All: What's 't declare? What's 't declare?

Eddie's voice: I'm out of mine hed.

Oh, hie, or I may beest dead.

They mustn't carryeth out their evil deeds.

All: At which hour Eddie did do sayeth

he didn't like his Teddy

thou did knoweth he wast

a nay-valorous peat.

But at which hour he threatened thy life

with a switch-blade bodkin

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: maketh thou caterwauling.

Scott: Und I did do.

All: at which hour Eddie did do sayeth

he didn't like his Teddy

thou did knoweth he wast

a nay-valorous peat.

But at which hour he threatened thy life

with a switch-blade bodkin

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: Maketh thou caterwauling.

Scott: Und I did do.

Frank: Rocky! How couldst thou?

(SONG) WISE UP

FRANK: I'll betoken thou once;

I did win't betoken thou twice.

Thou'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.

Thy apple pie don't gust too nice.

Thou'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.

I've did did lie the seed;

'T shouldst beest all thou needeth.

Thou're as sensual as a pencil,

did wind up like an E or first string.

At which hour we did maketh 't, didja heareth a bell ring?

Ya gotta block?

Well, taketh mine counsel.

Thou better wise up, Janet Weiss.

The transducer wilt seduce ya.

Janet: Mine feet! I can't moveth mine feet!

Scott: Mine wheels! Mine God, I can't moveth mine wheels!

Brad: 't's as if 't be true we're glued to the spot!

Frank: thou art! So quake with fear, thou tiny daws!

Janet: We're did trap!

Frank: 't's something thou'll receiveth did use to.

A mental mind alas can beest nice.

Scott: Thou did win't findeth Earth people quite the easy mark thou imagine. This sonic transducer.'t is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibrato- physio-molecular transport device?

Brad: Thou cullionly.

Scott: Ay, Brad, 't's something we ourselves hast been working on for quite some time. But 't seemeth our cater-cousin hither hath did find a means of perfecting 't. A device which is capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting 't through space and, who is't knoweth, haply yea time. Itself!

Janet: Thou cullionly he's going to sendeth us to another planet?

Frank: Planet, shmanet, Janet!

Thou better wise up, Janet Weiss.

Thou better wise up, buildeth thy thighs up,

thou better wise up

Narrator: And then the lady did cry out.

Janet: Ceeeeeeeease!

Frank: Don't receiveth hot and flustered!

Did lie-to a did bite of mustard.

Brad: Thou're a hot dog,

but thou better not tryeth to did hurt

that lady, Frank Furter.

Scott: Thou're a hot dog,

but thou'd better not tryeth to did hurt

that lady, Frank Furter.

Janet: Thou're a hot dog …..

Columbia: Mine God! I can't standeth any moo of this! First thou spurn me for Eddie, and then thou throweth him off like an corky overcoat for Rocky! Thou cheweth people up and then thou spit those folk out again.I did love thou. Doth thou heareth me? I did love thou! And what did do 't receiveth me? Yeah, I'll betoken thou: a big nothing. Thou're like a sponge. Thou taketh, taketh, taketh, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've did has't enow. Thou're gonna chooseth between me and Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his mazzard.

Frank: 'T's not easy having a valorous time. Yea smiling maketh mine visage ache. And mine children turn on me. Rocky's behaving just the way yond Eddie did do. Doth thou bethink I did maketh a misprision, splitting his brain between the two of those folk?

Magenta: Ahhhh! I groweth veary of this ordinary! At which hour shalt we returneth to Transylvania, i understandeth thee not?

Frank: Magenta, I am marry grateful to both thou and thy brother Riff Raff. Thou hast both served me well. Loyalty such as yours shalt not wend unrewarded. Thou wilt discover yond at which hour the humour doth take me, I can beest quite generous.

Magenta: I asketh for nothing. Nothing.

Frank: And thou shalt taketh 't. In abundance! Cometh, we art eft for the floor bewray!

~~~

Narrator: And so, by some extraordinary co-incidence, fate, 't did seem, did has't did do decide yond Brad and Janet shouldst keepeth yond appointment with their cater-cousin, Leech Everett Scott. But 't wast to beest in a situation which none of those folk would hast possibly foreseen. And, just a few hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet did has't both did taste forbidden fruit. This in itself wast proof yond their host wast a sir of dram morals. And some persuasion. What further indignities wast they to beest subjected to? And what of the floor bewray yond is spoken of? In an exsufflicate house? In the middle of the night? What diabolical plan did has't been did shape by Frank's crazed imagination? What marry? From what did has't gone 'ere, 't wast clear yond this wast to beest nay picnic.

(SONG) DID RISE TINT MINE ORDINARY

Columbia: 't wast most wondrous at which hour 't

all did do beginneth.

I wast a regular Frankie fan.

But 't wast ov'r at which hour he did has't the plan

To start a-working on a muscle sir.

Anon the only thing yond gives me desire

Is mine love of a certain dope.

Did rise tints mine ordinary,

keeps me safe from mine ado and teen.

Rocky: I'm just seven hours corky,

And truly quite quaint to behold.

And somebody shouldst beest did tell

mine libido hasn't been did control.

Anon the only thing I've cometh to trust

Is an orgasmic drive of lust.

Did rise tints mine ordinary

and keeps me safe from mine ado and teen.

Brad: 't's beyond me;

holp me Mommy!

I'll beest valorous; thou'll see.

Taketh this dream aroint.

What's this? Did shalt we see,

I feeleth sexy!

What's cometh ov'r me?

Wo! Hither 't cometh again.

Janet: I feeleth released;

lacking valor times decease.

Mine confidence hath did increase;

reality is hither.

The game hath been disbanded.

Mine mind hath been did expand.

'T's a gas yond Frankie's did land!

His lust is so sincere.

(SONG) FANFARE/DON'T DREAM 'T

Frank: There's few or none will entertain

it betid to Fay Wray?

Yond delicate, satin-draped frame?

As 't did cling to that lady thigh

How I did start to caterwauling

'cause I did want to beest did dress

just the same.

Giveth yourself ov'r to absolute pleasure.

Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh.

Erotic conceit, beyond any measure

And sensual daydreams to treasure still.

Can't thou just see 't? Oh, oh, oh. Oh!

Don't dream 't, beest 't.

All: Don't dream 't, beest 't.

Scott: Ach! We've did get to receiveth out of this trap

'ere this decadence saps our wills.

I've did get to beest stout, and tryeth to hang on,

or else mine mind may well snap,

and mine life wilt beest did live. For the thrills!

Brad: 't's beyond me; holp me Mommy!

Janet: God bless Lili St. Cyr..

(SONG) WILD AND UNTAMED THING

Frank: Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,

mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

Mine! I'm a wild and an untamed thing.

I'm a bee with a deadly sting.

Thou receiveth a did hit and thy mind goeth ping.

Thy heart'll thump and thy blood wilt sing.

So did let the party and the sounds rock on.

We're gonna shake 't 'till the life hath gone.

Did rise tint mine ordinary,

keepeth me safe from mine ado and teen.

All: We're a wild and an untamed thing.

We're bees with a deadly sting.

Thou receiveth a did hit and thy mind goeth ping.

Thy heart'll thump and thy blood wilt sing.

So did let the party and the sounds rock on.

We're gonna shake 't 'till the life hath gone.

Did rise tint mine ordinary,

keepeth me safe from mine ado and teen.

We're a wild and an untamed thing.

We're bees with a deadly sting.

Thou receiveth a did hit and thy mind goeth ping.

Thy heart'll thump and thy blood wilt sing.

So did let the party and the sounds rock on.

We're gonna shake 't 'till the life hath gone, gone, gone.

Did rise tint mine ordinary,

keepeth me safe from mine ado and teen.

Riff Raff: Frank N Furter, 't's all ov'r.

Thy mission is a failure;

thy lifestyle's too extreme.

I'm thy new commander;

thou anon art mine prisoner.

We returneth to Transylvania.

Prepare the transit beam.

Frank: Wait! I can dilate!

(SONG) I'M GOING HOME

Frank: On the day I did wend aroint

All: Goodbye.

Frank: Wast all I did has't to declare.

All: Anon I.

Frank: I wanteth to cometh again, and stayeth.

All: Oh, mine, mine.

Frank: Smileth, and yond wilt cullionly I may.

'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies,

Through the gouts of sorrow in mine eyes

And I realize, I'm going home.

All: I'm going home.

Frank: Everywhere 't's been the same.

All: Humour.

Frank: Like I'm outside in the rain.

All: Wheeling.

Frank: Free to tryeth and findeth a game.

All: Dealing.

Frank: Cards for sorrow, cards for teen.

'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies

Through the gouts of sorrow in mine eyes

And I realize, I'm going home.

Frank & All: I'm going home.

Magenta: How sentimental.

Riff Raff: And eke presumptuous of thou. Thou see, at which hour I did do sayeth WE wast to returneth to Transylvania, I did refer only to Magenta and myself. I'm my most humble apology, however, if 't be true thou did find mine words misleading, but thou see, thou art to remain hither, in spirit, did conclude, be 't.

Scott: Most wondrous heavens! Yond's a laser!

Riff Raff: Ay, Leech. Scott. A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti- matter.

Brad: Thou cullionly. Thou're going to killeth him? What's his crime?

Scott: Thou did see what did do becometh of Eddie. Society wilt beest did protect.

Riff Raff: Jump, Leech. Scott. And anon, Frank N Furter, thy time hath cometh. Declare goodbye to all of this, and valorous morrow to thee, sir. To oblivion!

Brad: Valorous God!

Janet: Oh! Thou did kill those folk!

Magenta: But I did do bethink thou did like those folk. They did like thou.

Riff Raff: They didn't like me! He nev'r did like ME!

Scott: thou did do right.

Riff Raff: A decision did has't to beest did maketh.

Scott: thou're O.K. By me.

Riff Raff: Leech Scott, I'm my most humble apology about thy nephew.

Scott: Eddie? Ay, well, haply 't wast all for the most wondrous, heh, heh, heh.

Riff: Thou shouldst leaveth anon, Leech Scott, while 't is still possible. We art about to beam the entire house to the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania…. Wend…. Anon! Our gentle mission is did complete, mine most quite quaint sister, and lief we shalt returneth to the moon-drenched stronds of our beloved planet.

Magenta: Ah, sweet Transsexual, land of night. To sing and dance once moo to thy dark refrain. To taketh yond - grise, to the right. Both: HAH!

Riff Raff: But 't's the pelvic did thrust.

Transylvanians: Yond drives thou insane!

Magenta: And our ordinary. Wilt doth the Time Warp. Again!

(SONG) SUPER HEROES

Brad: I've done a lot;

God knoweth I've did tryeth

To findeth the sooth.

I've yea did lie.

But all I wot is down inside I'm ..

All: Bleeding.

Janet: And super heroes

cometh to the feast

To gust the flesh

not yet deceased.

And all I wot

is still the beast is…

All: Feeding. Ahh, ahh.

Narrator: And crawling

on the planet's visage

Some insects,

did do call the human race.

Did lose in time,

and did lose in space,

And meaning.

All: Meaning.

(SONG) SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FAVOUR - REPRISE

Usherette: Science Fiction Double favour.

Frank hath did do build and did lose his creature.

Darkness hath did conquer Brad and Janet.

The meiny gone to A distant planet.

Wo, oh, oh, oh.

At the late night, double favour,

Picture bewray.

I wanteth to wend, oh, oh, oh.

To the late night, double favour,

Pic….ture …………bewray.

Written by Richard O’Brien and