Apr 6
I just found a transaction on my account from a few days ago for over 100 easter eggs. There are no easter eggs in my posession.
The full moon was a few days ago.
DID I THROW EASTER EGGS AT PEOPLE?!
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I just found a transaction on my account from a few days ago for over 100 easter eggs. There are no easter eggs in my posession.
The full moon was a few days ago.
DID I THROW EASTER EGGS AT PEOPLE?!
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Isn't Nessie great?
The geezer who I now have to rescue from a stranded kayak in the middle of Loch Ness clearly thinks so. Normally there would be people on standby to rescue him but he managed to pick the one time nobody was there to go cryptid hunting. It's fine, I haven't gone swimming in a while anyway.
Another farmhouse is on fire. This was done not out of a desire to vandalise, but because someone decided they wanted to STEAL A COW and needed a long distraction. Thankfully, the fire was safely put out and nobody was hurt; however, I cannot reiterate enough that I am currently tracking down someone who decided to STEAL A COW.
WHO STEALS A COW?!
Got reports of a housing estate where every single window simultaneously exploded. Thankfully, nobody got injured by the torrent of glass that likely ensued.
The person reporting the incident thinks that the place is haunted by a vengeful ghost, as the words "get out" were scrawled all over the inside walls. He's wrong, of course.
This is textbook demon nonsense. And said demon is about to learn that it doesn't get to threaten people without lupine consequences.
Seems that whatever vulnerability allowed the hot dog incident has, finally, been fixed. So now I can use the SDN network without fear of bass boosted horrors!
... and someone has managed to wander into an abandoned coal mine. This is not the first time this has happened since I took up hero work, so thankfully I have gear for this exact situation.
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AAAAAAAAA NOT THE CRUNCHY HOT DOG EATING AUDIO AGAIN I JUST WANTED TO CHECK MY EMAILLLLLLL
... oh right I should explain. Someone's broken into the SDN network, and now at least a quarter of my SDN-related messages are an extremely bass-boosted audio file of someone eating a hot dog like some sort of feral creature. It's awful.
A belter of an incident today.
I go to check out an electronics store in Glasgow that just got broken into. As expected, several items were taken by a former employee.
What isn't expected is the fact that the culprit, for some reason, decided that this was a crime worth celebrating. So now most of the screens in this shop are displaying "Big Matty" in impact font.
Terrible move on his part. The staff were more than willing to provide me his contact information, which made locating "Big Matty" significantly easier. Especially when I hacked into his phone and started blasting Basshunter at maximum volume.
...okay, the mad behaviour has to be a Scotland thing.
There's currently a chancer with a freshly stolen stepladder trapped in a warehouse with a demon. Yes, it is the same demon I gave a good battering a couple of days ago.
I think the two of them are locked in a standoff? Maybe the demon is worried it's going to get obliterated with a ladder; honestly, with how agressively the lad is wielding it right now, I genuinely think he'd be in with a chance of winning.
Not that I'm gonna let him get the chance. Getting into a square go with a demon is my job.