May 7
lazy lukelli art
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lazy lukelli art
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listen, lukelli could be so funny. all post ttc luke wants is to finally die, so when he sees a hot man-eater (literal) making moves on him his manwhore ass is like “you know what. might as well go out with a bang.” meanwhile kelli does very much want to eat this man (after getting to know him ofc. shes not a savage, she prefers to wine and dine her food). but unfortunately hecate and the titans have given explicit orders that luke castellan be kept alive, and if their little fling helps keep his mind away from offing himself, then she better keep wining and dining him. the entire time they’re together, luke is in agony because he wants to die and kelli is in agony because she cant kill him. but consequently they’re also matching each other’s freaks and having the most irresponsible cruise fling ever. when kelli kills that random demigod in seattle, notwithstanding luke’s upset at a wasted demigod life, his depressed brain is going “THAT SHOULDVE BEEN MEEEEEE,” which then leads into a whole thing of “ofc this was all about keeping me alive for the titans” in which he finally realizes hes truly got no one on his side. and by the time botl rolls around, kelli is just bummed that she’s lost her favorite boytoy bloodbag. she cant be caught kissing the geezer lord of the titans smh
Thalia, Annabeth, Juniper, Silena, Kelli, and Percy all had the hots for Luke. And those are just the people we know about. Amazing.
Okay but since BotL takes place about six months after TTC, and Luke and Kelli are implied to have broken up not long before the book starts, hc that Luke was just butthurt over Thalia breaking up with him kicking him over a cliff and Kelli was a rebound that he broke up with when he realised she was a Bad Girl in a 'eats live children' way and not a 'hot edgy punk sk8ter girl' way.
Luke being an implied monster fucker will never not be funny to me
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There could be a joke about Luke being a monsterfucker.
Why weren't there more monsterfuckers?.. If not about gods' partners, I mean. We should have more monsterfuckers than poor lonely Luke in this fandom!
since I’m assuming we can ask Kelli now, as yes won by a landslide:
why Luke?
Kelli: I loveeee me a man who’s wrapped around my pinky. Am I wrong, Lukie Pookie? Am I wrong?
Luke: *moving away from her* Ugh… let’s stop talking for a while, shan’t we? That’s a very good idea.
Kelli: But you looveee talking to me!
Luke: I’m going to get coffee. Alone. Bye-bye.
luke and kelli’s first date has kelli showing up with her hair nice and braided... a nice fancy prom-style dress...... and luke’s in a tux and they go to burger king