#lukef

In the dark of the loft above the Vega Gem, Hyeonju sits at the dining table alone. A glass of amber liquid is cradled in his palms. His eyes are glued to the wall in front of him, but they are glazed, unseeing, distant. They are looking somewhere far beyond the confines of the walls he calls his home. He grips the glass of whiskey harder as he recalls Luke’s face when he entered the Heart’s shop that morning. Haggard, raw, like a wound torn open. He’d stared at Hyeonju with such pain and hollowness that the Heart had wondered and feared Luke would crumple right then and there in front of him. Set the world aflame with his grief. He hadn’t. Just waited. Hyeonju had only been able to stare for a long moment, confused and shocked.

“What?” Halmeoni and Micah had passed? That—no, that—that can’t be right. They hadn’t been that old when he last saw them. Young. They were young, barely a few decades into their lives. Then it had hit Hyeonju—they were human. Humans have such short lives. Barely a blink of the eye before they disappeared from your life. He’d forgotten. He’d taken it for granted.

“I—” For once, Hyeonju was at a loss for words. He usually could find something to say, but this—something in his chest had twisted, words caught in his throat and died. He’d kept his eyes on the other man, before finally choking out, “I’m sorry, Luke. I’m…sorry.” Had Luke known how much emotion was in that apology? Had he understood? Hyeonju lifted the whiskey to his lips, downed it in a single gulp, refilled it once more. Stared at the wall some more.

Halmeoni and Micah. The tightness in his chest hadn’t eased up. He remembered—the days spent in their company. Hyeonju recalled how, upon first meeting them, he’d expected scorn, disgust, judgment, cruelty. Was shocked to instead be met by welcoming hugs and laughter. Questions. So many questions that he refused to answer—about his life before Luke and Lita. How as time passed the dinner table had come to find itself with an extra plate filled to the brim for a hungry fox. Her Little Fox, Halmeoni had called him. Eventually, Hyeonju would hint at some of his pain and suffering to the kind woman as they sat in a corner watching the rest of the family joke and laugh and show affection Hyeonju had never known. She had simply held his hand. Micah had always been gruff with him. Gave Hyeonju dirty looks when he’d walk through the door with Luke and Lita wearing a skimpy outfit for the job he’d have to go to later in the evening. He’d occasionally chuckle at one of the Heart’s teasing jabs, ruffle his hair—something Hyeonju hadn’t allowed of anybody before him.

Nothing like his parents. They had been nothing like his parents. They had gifted him warm food and clothes—a fox plushie one Yeon Nen, even. Hyeonju didn’t remember receiving any of that from his mother and father—the bare minimum was all he was permitted. There had been no affection, no family meals, no laughter, no toys and celebrations. With Luke and his family—there had been. And then Lita had died—been killed. And Hyeonju had broken a bit—broken him and Luke. In doing so, he had broken his connection to the only family who had taken him in and shown him he was wanted and cherished. And now he would never have it. Forever gone.

Amber liquid trailed down the wall in slow trails to pool on the floor in a puddle, glistening off the broken glass. Hyeonju let the darkness consume him, head in his hands as the last light faded from the windows. His heart was tearing itself apart. A single tear slipped through. Hyeonju’s body shuddered, then went still. Whispered to the empty room, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

the façade: “I trust all my friends very much, I’m confident that they wouldn’t lead me astray. You should trust your friends too, that’s what true friendship is all about, yea?”

➳　factcheck! this is a lie. he may trust his friends, but he would never follow them blindly. that type of behaviour is what gets you killed.

There’s a former friend I just came across again after a few decades. We had a falling out and I thought that was that. But he seems to want to fix what’s broken, that optimistic fool. But...I suppose it can’t hurt to try for once. *Thinks* Even if I’m afraid of what will happen if I let him get to close again.