#luhannie

After meeting them I started studying harder and harder and harder. Of course, my sleep suffered a bit from it, but that was no problem. On the days of my finals I saw the paper and didn't look at the first question with fear. Suddenly all the questions were easy and I answered all of them quickly. After the last final, I went home with the plan to nap for one or two hours to catch up on the sleep I missed because of the stress and studying. I've had trouble falling asleep for the last few weeks, but it's probably due to the stress I've had in school. I've always had trouble falling asleep because my head tends to be busy whenever I want to fall asleep. Currently it's filled with pictures of 12 guys, but one of them is part of my dreams more often than the rest. My heart has also been heavy throughout the last two weeks but I still don't know why. 'Maybe because I avoided tumblr and my fangirling-life' I think jokingly and turn on my computer. My tumblr-dashbord is full of Exo, as always. Subconsciously I type HIS name into the search field. His eyes have been following me in my sleep and when I see how they look like right now, I feel my heart breaking. More and more pictures and posts pop up:

 “Luhan seems really unhappy”

 “What happened to Luhan? He lost weight in the last two weeks”

 “Luhan looks tired. I hope he takes good care of himself”

 Thousands of pictures of him being grumpy and moody during interviews and him making mistakes during concerts, which already resulted in him falling and hurting himself. Is it because of our meeting? Is that why he's being so weird. 'No. Don't be silly. ‘but. .  I mean that was two weeks ago and ever since then he doesn't seem to be himself anymore. I chew my lower lip and start looking up interviews with subtitles. The other fan girls are right. He looks unhappy and annoyed. 'What happened in those 2 weeks' I wonder and look at more and more pictures and posts of him. I shake my head and turn off my computer. Then I cuddle into my bed and close my eyes tightly. This is the first time in forever that I fall asleep just a few moments after my head hits the pillow

 I wake up at around 8 pm and already know that my sleeping schedule is completely messed up now. 'This will be a long night on tumblr.' I think to myself and get myself a bowl of cereal. My mum is at her boyfriends house and my sister moved out just a few weeks ago. Back at my computer I see that there is a new post of Luhan on tumblr. I scroll down and see that the same gifs are all over my dashboard.

It's him, with Lay, Suho and Kai. Luhan has a mic in his hand, his hands are shaking. The movement of his mouth is telling me that he's speaking English. I squint my eyes and start reading. “I hope you'll see this. We met two weeks ago. And I can't get you out of my head:” He takes a deep breath. 'Is he talking about me?' “I-If you feel the same. We're looking for you. I remember your name. And you mentioned that you are on tumblr.” he chuckles carefully, as if the thought amuses him. “I'll just ask you to write your name in the tags.” His voice is shaking and he takes a deep breath. Again. But this time he doesn't say a thing. Suho takes over the mic and immediately slips into his leader role. “Please. If you remember us, help us find you. Somehow. We signed your Exo backpack. If you have a backpack at home, personally signed by all 12 member, please contact us.” This is not what I expected. “Are they talking about me?” I whisper and feel myself blush. No they're not. I mean. I'm just an ordinary girl.. My hands are shaking slightly as I open a new post on tumblr. “It's worth a try, right?” I simply put the picture of Luhan and me in there. I don't choose the one where he looks at the camera, but the one where he looks at me and write 'Are you looking for me?'.Those are the only words I add to the picture. I quickly check if I put my name on the picture, so people don't misuse it. My only tag is my name. Nothing more.. 'I will keep this picture up till tomorrow morning' I tell myself 'and if I don't get a message by then, I'm not the one he's looking for.'

 I try to distract myself by playing a video game, but my head always returns to Luhan, so I stop after three hours and check my Tumblr. 10 000 notes on my picture. I check again and it turns out that this is real. People are going crazy sharing the picture. I go to my twitter and see the hashtag #findlulussecretgirl. My picture is all over twitter, as well as my twitter name. I see that there are a few messages in my inbox. One immediately catches my eye. “If it's you, please add me on skype.” And a weird name, consisting of letters and random numbers. I immediately add the person, my hands shivering. “What if it's Luhan?” I mutter and take a look in the mirror. I quickly smooth my hair an put on a T-shirt and jeans. “okay. You can do this.” I press call and the call gets answered immediately. I feel disappointment when two middle-aged men answer the call. I see their face and quickly cover my camera. They are saying something in Korean and I know that it isn't directed towards me. I can hear a soft and tired voice from outside the camera saying something in Korean. Then the same voice says something in English “Please show me your face again.” I carefully remove my hand from the camera and look straight into the lens. I hear a relieved sigh from the other side of the screen and see the old men leave. Curiously I wait for the owner of the voice to show himself and can't believe my eyes when a slightly sweaty Luhan sits down. “No” I whisper and look at him. “A-Am I not what you expected?” He looks hurt and insecure. I quickly shake my head. “I just can't believe it's you. You're looking. . For me ?” His tired face relaxes. It looks slimmer than two weeks ago and his eyes lost their sparkle. “You look tired” I whisper and he yawns like a little kitten. “I know. I am tired. ” His voice is nervous, as if he's scared to say something wrong. We are both quiet. “Maybe you should go to bed” I suggest “I don't know what time it is in Korea, but it's 10 pm here.” He looks at me in panic. “No No. It's afternoon here. I just can't sleep and we have practice right now eitherway.” he shrugs as if everything seems irrelevant to him. “Does that mean you're missing practice?” He nods and looks at me intensely. It's the first time since we started the call that I can see a glimpse of the Luhan I saw in the restaurant. The man who was staring at me intensely with his shining deer-like eyes. “We can still talk tomorrow. I mean it seems like you waited for me for 2 weeks. You can wait another few days.”

 "No No No.  The guys are happy that I finally found you. I've been a little moody lately." He laughs carefully "How did your exams go?" He looks at me and curiously smiles. He still looks really tired and exhausted, but it seems like he's happier. "Okay. After you left, I started studying and it turned out really well." I tell him and he seems content. "That's amazing." His eyes sparkle. "So. . " I look at him. "Why are you looking for me?" He bites his lip and looks at me "I want to tell you personally. Can you come to Korea?" He looks at me hopefully and I smile a little sadly "I don't think so. I kinda have no money to go there. The plane ticket is really expensive." He sighs and rubs his forehead. "I could pay for the ticket?" He smiles hopefully. "I would love to come back to Y/C, but our schedule is quite tight currently, so I don't really have time to travel. We have to practice everyday."

“If that's the case it doesn't make sense if I'd come. I mean. You'd have no time for me and I don't know anyone in Seoul.”

“You could watch our practice. I bet we would dance a million times better if a cute girl like you was watching.” He winks and I giggle wholeheartedly.

“Well. Maybe. But still. I can't watch your practice the entire day. Please just tell me what you have to say.” I whine and pout adorably

“Well. I don't know if it feels the same to you, but to me it was. Terrible to stay away from you.” He looks at the keyboard and I pull my hand through my hair. “And I think maybe. . That we're each others destined. . ” He adds and leaves me surprised. “Destined?” I ask and he nods again. “Wow. I. . I definitely felt a pull. And that I missed you. But I thought I was being silly. Now it makes sense.” I smile and look at my phone. It lights up and reveals a picture of Luhan.

 “By the way. Do you have a messenger on your phone or something. I usually don't use Skype. So we wouldn't be able to talk a lot.” I frown and he looks at his phone. “I have Kakaotalk. But I don't think it's very popular in Europe.” Now he's frowning, while my face lights up. “I have Kakao. My name is Y/N/N the Kitten. Don't ask please.” I giggle and blush. He smiles while he type on his phone and a few minutes later I receive a message.

 “Is this you?” He asks. I quickly rename him a 'Luhan' and nod at him. “Yeah it's me” His smile makes me really happy. After seeing those pictures on Tumblr I worried about him a lot. “So you won't tell me why you were looking for me until we meet in person again?” I pout and he laughs a little. “N. . ”He suddenly gets interrupted by the door being slammed open. I hear excited chatter. “HE LAUGHS !” That's definitely Tao. “Whoa. He does laugh!” and that's Lay. His English is a little shaky, as if he doesn't use it a lot. Suddenly there isn't only one head on the screen, but 12. Well some of them are only half there or are covered. I wave shyly and the all go crazy. “IT'S HER IT'S HER!” Baekhyun and Chanyeol chant and Chen joins in. The boys are surprisingly well rested. I look at Luhan, who seems kind of annoyed by them being there. He rolls his eyes and takes his phone. “They probably won't leave. Can we skype again sometime. Just the two of us?” I receive the message and read it and my cheeks start hurting because of how wide my smile is. “WHAT ARE YOU TELLING HER?!” It's Tao, who tries to grab Luhan's phone but Luhan only puts it into the pocket of his pants. “Yes or No?” I look at him and smile. “Of course!” I nearly scream it and the boys laugh, except Luhan who smiles happily. As if he's a kid and I just told him that we'll get a kitten AND that I'll buy him the new Nintendo console. Suho pushes himself into the centre and looks over Luhan's shoulder. “Is it okay If we take him back to practice? It doesn't really make sense if we learn the choreography without him.” I nod and look at Luhan “I told him that he should go back to practice, but he said that It was okay if he stayed. I'm sorry.” I explain to Exo's leader and he just laughs it away. “It's fine. I'm just glad that he found you. Without you he was really annoying.” He answered “HE MESSED UP THE ENTIRE TIME” I recognise Sehun's voice immediately. “But I don't want to leave!” Luhan tires to convince the others by doing aegyo but it doesn't work, they all just start laughing and pull him away from the screen. Suho stays after the door closes. “Thank you. We'll bring him back in one. I promise.” I laugh as he disconnects the call.

  “He WAS looking for me.” I whisper and my heart seems to jump out of my chest. “I should say thank you on Tumblr. I mean. It's partly because of them that he found me.” I mumble to myself and open another entry.

 Thank you all

              He was looking for me.♥

 I press send and smile happily. Suddenly my phone chimes.  “You've been added to a group” 'Wait what. Only 4 or 5 people have my Kakao ID.' I look at the group. “Chanyeol. Baekhyun. Lay. Kai.” I read the names carefully. It's basically the 12 members plus me.

 “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N” “Y/N”.

 That's the entire chat until now. Just my name. I giggle quietly.