my birthday is in like an hour and a half (i mean i guess ‘technically’ not until mid afternoon since that’s when i actually came into existence, but y’know) and idk how to feel. last selfies of being a sad teen i guess
i feel like not being a teenager anymore is kinda Weird and i know that this isn’t just a me thing, cause my mom has said she felt the same way back in 1977 (and her dad said she was ‘twenty-teen’)
like it’s somehow a more concrete step of getting Older and just, idk, that’s scary
but on the other hand, a lot about being a teenager sucked, high school sucked, like now it feels kinda romantic and nostalgic and like, there were good parts, but it was pretty bad. and i felt awful a lot. lots of loneliness and insecurity and suicidal ideation.
like, idk, being a ‘sad gay teen’ actually isn’t fun and being in denial of your sexuality isn’t fun and hating yourself isn’t fun
and being a weird nerd who tries to one up people and doesn’t get social cues isn’t good and being extremely introverted isn’t good
here’s to 20 and here’s to getting better
