#lucashur

Amatus,

Not sure if I deserve the right to call you this once more. Not sure how to even start this letter: should I cut right to the chase? Should I pour out my thoughts the way they jump through my mind’s eye? A kaleido. I wish the words came easier, to give meaning to them the way you would appreciate it, but…

We’re going to Tearstone Island. There’s no time.

Once I made a grave for you in the deepest part of my soul. Sometimes it feels like you are still lying there: maybe you are, since the blight in your veins has slowed but is not gone. You’d tell me it’s not my fault, but so many things are. Unhappy coincidences. Unspoken words. Unkept promises. They are mine to carry and see through. And one more on top, sworn on blood at the edge of your bed.

We always needled each other about who’d pass over to the Fade first out of recklessness, remember? We are moving out tomorrow and I am scribbling this abomination of both apology and declaration in haste.

I am sorry, if I fail my promise one last time by not coming back.

I love you. With all that is left light in me, which feels so sparse in times like these.

Now this sounds like I am writing a will.

Let me reclaim a bit of eloquence and dignity by repeating your words. Everything we are, what we did, what is before us still, once started with nothing but a dream. A dream of better Tevinter, better Minrathous, that spun like a thread into a tapestry. A dream of connection we shared and are still, of understanding. A dream of a future where our cause wins and we live long enough to see it. The one where we don’t, but it happens nonetheless. The dream of slow change, of calmer days, of sunsets over the Dock Town narrow roofs and Nessum spires.

In all these futures I am for once in my life truly praying for, you are not alone and alive.

Selfish, I know. Always have been.

- Lucius

Mongoose and Viper

hello dragon age fandom