#lu avoiding writing

This particular bar, at this particular part of town, wasn’t a popular spot for hanging out.

Asami was grateful for that.

Her eyelash fluttered, threatening to close shut as she reached for her glass only to realise it was empty. She grunted – and the bartender apparently took that as a cue to give her a refill.

“Rough day?”

She looked up, still blinking the alcohol away (a bit strange – she didn’t remember having that many drinks) and was greeted with a lop-sided grin. Asami rubbed then squinted her eyes. Under the dim, flickering lights the bar’s owner never bothered to fix, it was hard to see who she was looking at.

There was something wrong with that voice, however.

“You’re not gonna make me blush if all you do is staring at me all night like that, you know? I’m very aware of my sexual appeals,” the girl (and yes, she was sure it was a girl) laughed as she continued drying and putting the cups away. Asami could almost catch a playful wink thrown her way, but that was neither here nor there.

She looked away.

“Not much of a talker, are you?”

This girl was persistent, she gave her that. “Not much in the mood for anything at the moment, more like,” she said, a small hiccup made its way through her throat.

A light chuckle. “You know what, my shift ends in about ten minutes. There’s this amazing restaurant near here that I’ve just discovered the other day. Want to come with me?”

And a shameless flirt, too.

Asami raised one eyebrow. “We’ve just met and I don’t even know your name. Why would I want to go out with a stranger?”

“Well, I suppose if you want a reason,” the girl tilted her head as she leaned over the counter with her chin in her hand – and like this, Asami could almost make out the lines on her face, “you’re cute. I’m more than cute, but everyone knows that already. Cute people hang out together, and food tastes better with cute company. Perfectly good reason, don’t you think?”

She winked, again, and Asami suddenly felt something pull at that smile.

She hesitated. This new bartender was quite attractive, she supposed. But— “I’m taken.” Not necessarily true, but this girl didn’t need to know that. She turned away.

A calloused hand touched hers and Asami stiffened slightly at the familiarity of it, of the warmth and the shape and size of each of the fingers that came into contact with her own, that she almost missed the girl’s next few words.

“I’m Korra, by the way.” The girl – Korra – brought her hand up and grazed soft lips against its back. “Nice to meet you, Asami Sato.”

She scrambled to her feet and left before her brain could wonder how this Korra knew her name.

The Avatar left another message for the city’s authorities on, guess what, the City Hall’s roof. The content was always the same, always about the oppression of benders, always about justice and “true” equality, but the methods varied.

Nursing the mug of coffee in her hands, Asami gathered her legs off the floor as the reporter’s voice – which was probably offering guesses as to what materials the Avatar had used this time for the message – sunk into the background.

It wasn’t like they could find out in time anyway. There was a storm coming, and the letters would be washed away soon enough, leaving no trace behind. Such was the Avatar’s way – flawless, calculating, and meticulous.

She scoffed, fondly – then mentally chastising herself for her reaction.

Her mind wandered off to the strange encounter at the bar the other day.

Something nagged at the back of her mind – something was wrong about the new bartender, about Korra – but she couldn’t quite put her fingers on it.

She almost dozed off to sleep when the slight clicks on her window sent her into full alert. She reached for the hidden gun under the cushion. No one broke into Sato mansion, except—

She heard the sound of gun cocking at the same time the window snapped open and a figure stepped in. She stiffened. Fifty-fifty chance, she supposed, but it wouldn’t hurt to be prepared.

The lights suddenly went out, and she fired.

Only, something had grabbed her arm and shoved, effectively pointed the gun upwards to the ceiling. “Hey, it’s me,” the voice hushed, low and familiar. “Don’t worry, it’s me.”

Asami breathed out in relief, her shoulders relaxed a little as she realised who it was.

“Don’t scare me like that!” She gritted her teeth, putting the gun away. “I thought you were them!”

“Ah, but I am one of them though, you do realise,” The Avatar flashed her a toothy grin, “and you didn’t hear me knock. The rain was brutal, you know?”

“Serves you right.” Asami huffed, but still reached for the towel she’d stashed under the table and threw it over the Avatar’s dripping wet hair. “And you know what I mean. My father’s works made them angry. One group of people after me is enough – I don’t need you to add to my paranoia.”

She started scrubbing the Avatar’s hair when the latter’s hand reached up to catch her wrist. One eye peeked out from under the towel and not for the first time, Asami wished she could find out what colour those eyes were.

“I’m— sorry.” The Avatar hesitated, but gave her a genuine smile. “Truly.”

Asami’s scowl faded away as she placed her lips on the other’s forehead. “Apologies accepted.”

The Avatar’s lips resumed its usual mischievous grin and pulled her down to a more proper, thorough kiss.

Later, when they were both spent and exhausted on her bed, Asami tentatively placed the back of her hand on the Avatar’s cheek and stroked gently, like she’d always done.

She didn’t know how long this thing – them – had going on. She didn’t even know who the other girl really was, but if her lover didn’t want her to know, she’d have to be content with the idea that they, somehow, fit well together more than any two bodies had any rights to.

Or so she wanted to believe, anyway.

They sat together on the only patch of ground nearby not covered in dirt and leaves. Trust Korra to find a secluded place to bury her capsule - Asami could really use the privacy right now.

It’d stopped raining for quite a while. The clouds were clear, the sun was out again and the earthy scent after the rain was refreshing enough to brighten the gloomy sky from just minutes earlier.

Normally Asami would have enjoyed it, but sunshines and rainbows weren’t exactly what she was feeling lately.

The weather never seemed to match her moods.

“Talk to me, Asami.”

Her voice hadn’t changed one bit.

Asami didn’t know if that was meant to be comforting or just a cruel joke.

Either way, though.

“I don’t know what to talk about.”

I don’t know if I could, more like.

“I miss hearing your voice.” A simple reply, yet so full of affection.

Too much like her. Like Korra.

“That’s... supposed to be my line.”

“I know. Sorry. Doesn’t mean I can’t speak the truth though, does it?”

“I wouldn’t be here right now if I wanted the truth.”

“...Sorry.”

“No, I’m not-- I’m not blaming you. I guess I just--” Asami waved her hand around helplessly. There was so much to say - and yet. “I miss you. So much. Sometimes I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m still here, though. For what it’s worth.”

“Yeah. In a sense, but--” Tired. So, so tired she didn’t have any strength left to argue, so she cracked a smile instead. “Yeah.”

So close, yet so far out of reach.

Maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Asami bit her lips, all too aware how chapped and cracked they were lately. At least Korra wouldn’t care - between them, there wasn’t anything to touch. So there was that.

Perspective.

Not exactly pleasant, but.

“... And then you were like ‘I’ll destroy you!’. And I lost it. Man, I mean, good thing Aiwei was in the spirit world or I’d have lost sight of him the moment you said that.” Korra grinned and turned her head sideway to rest on her forearms, which were in turn folded on her knees. She gave Asami a fond look. “Such a nerd.”

Asami breathed out an embarrassed laugh. “That's so not fair! I was challenged!”

“Yeah. By Bolin. In a boardgame.”

“Pai Sho is a very serious business.”

“Yeah, well. Whatever you say.” Korra’s eyes blinked lazily. “Still my nerd.”

Asami darted her eyes away as the sight tugged at her heart.

“...Yours.“ She repeated, voice barely a whisper.

They were leaning against each other, but not quite.

The urge, the desire to touch her was unbearable.

The wind picked up a few leaves from the ground and toyed with them. Asami could almost believe it was Korra’s little airbending tricks at work. The way they spun in little circles reminded her of the first time she saw Korra on the Pro-bending ring. She’d scored a hat trick on her very first match and never since ceased to amaze her.

It was a long time ago, yet the memory was still so fresh in her mind it felt like it was just yesterday she’d taken Korra out to the racing tracks.

The wind was brutal back then, slapping their faces even through the helmets as they laughed without a care in the world.

Spirits.

What she would give to be able to relive even just one of those days.

Korra was wearing that lopsided grin on her face again, and it was too much like her, too familiar, too... Korra.

Her Korra.

Asami reached out then, only for her hand to pass through Korra’s body as if she was never there.

The image flicker at her touch, and Asami broke.

This... was never real. She knew that. So well it hurt.

And yet.

“How long do you--”

The question hung in the air between them. She was afraid to even breathe.

“I don’t know. A few minutes? Three, probably five at most.” Korra looked away, as if to spare Asami of the pain in her gaze. Her smile was sad, though, and Asami felt her nose tingle. “This is the old model. You hadn’t yet found a way to include the timing feature by the time I put mine in here.”

As if on cue, Korra - or the image flickered a few more times before gradually shifting in what Asami recognised as the “playback” mode.

She didn’t say anything. It wouldn’t matter much.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a proper farewell.” Not-quite-Korra begun. “I never expected the mission to go so wrong. The last thing on my mind was how I wished I could meet you one last time. You deserved better than a stupid fight for our final conversation.”

Asami clenched her jaws shut. It was her final moment and... did she die thinking Asami was still angry at her?

“I’m not--” She sobbed, already struggling to choke out the words she should have said but hadn’t and couldn’t anymore. “I could never...”

“I love you, Asami. I can’t tell you how much I love you. If given another chance, if we could meet in another life, I’d still want to love you no matter what.”

If only the device didn’t capture Korra’s details so well.

The statue and the park were bad enough, but this Korra had her warm voice, her kind eyes and even her memories.

Asami immediately pulled back the wish.

“I wish I’d told you that more often. You deserve at least a little happiness in your life and I... I wanted to be the one to make you smile until the rest of your days. Not the reason you stop smiling. I never wanted that.”

“Then why aren’t you here?” She asked Korra, asked no one in particular. She almost instinctively reached for Korra’s hands only to remember she couldn’t touch them.

Spirits.

She had thought she’d cried all her life’s worth of tears over the last month, but apparently that wasn’t the case.

Korra - or the recording - looked straight at her and made a gesture as if wanting to wipe her tears but realised it - she - couldn’t.

“You’re probably asking me to come back. You are, aren’t you? I know. I would, too, if I were in your place. Hah, the spirit world probably wouldn’t last a day until I found you again. Raava would make such a fit.” Korra joked, probably in an attempt to find some humour in the current situation. “You know I would try to come back if I could, but then my entire body would smell rotten and all around very foul. I doubt you’d enjoy that, and then I’d just die of heartbreak all over again.”

"That’s.. not a good joke.” Asami snorted through her tears. Her face probably looked like a mess. She didn’t care. “And you don’t know about that.”

“Anyway. I know I’ve said this already but - please smile, Asami.” Korra continued quickly, making use of the short time they had left. “I love your smiles. They’re lovely. Never tired of looking at you. Have I told you how much I love seeing you smile? I don’t want to be the reason you stop smiling. I know it’s hard, but you’re strong. Stronger than anyone I’ve ever known. I want you to live and be happy. I’ll wait for you, but don’t follow me just yet. You’ll live for me as well, won’t you?”

Asami didn’t answer as tears clouded her vision. Instead, she fumbled for where she believed Korra’s hand to be, expecting to pass through them when she felt something surprisingly warm against the tips of her fingers. Something else rested on the top of her head and if she didn’t know better, she’d have sworn it was a kiss she felt.

“What if I just want you to stay here with me?” Asami choked back another sob. “I don’t-- I don’t-- want you to go.“

Something felt like a real, solid hand caressed her cheek. All logic thrown away, Asami hastily grasped at the chance as she gripped Korra’s hand tighter than anything she’d ever held onto in her entire life, too afraid to let it fade away. Even if this was a dream...

A dream wouldn’t hurt this much, would it?

“I can’t.” Korra’s voice was, again, surprisingly shaking as well despite her effort to steady herself. “It’s a new cycle. I’m grateful to have met you, to love you and have you love me back. But I can’t stay any longer.”

“What am I... going to do?” Asami brought her hand up to cover her mouth. All the sobbing and hiccuping were making it harder for her to speak. “I can’t live without you, Korra!”

She felt a strong pair of arms enveloped her in a tight embrace; the kind she had been dreaming about every night only to wake up alone in the morning, all wretched and miserable.

“You can,” Korra said as her body flickered even more, her voice distorted almost to the point of inaudible but somehow Asami understood anyway. “Look for me in my next life, and I’ll look for you in your next. We’ll be-- toge--”

“No! Stupid Avatar...” Asami cried out as she realised Korra’s body had almost faded away despite how hard she held onto her hands. “Don’t leave... Not yet...”

And then... it wasn’t a dream, a ghostly sensation, or even a memory - the lips brushing against her felt - was real; as real as the tears that weren’t hers own touched the corner of her mouth with their own salty taste. Asami tried to commit it to her memory, knowing full well it was their last kiss, last touch they’d ever share.

And then it was gone.

“Korra...”

Asami collapsed to the ground, broken and devastated.

She was truly, completely alone now.

At least she got one last chance to see Korra.

Perspective.

Not exactly pleasant, but.

The gentle wind continued to blow and Asami could almost imagine it was Korra - her Korra - doing all those little airbending tricks.

Only, this time the laughters were solely hers, all wet and full of anguish.