#lroducer

I’m sorry for not posting forever. Musics been a little hard lately and I’ve really been fighting to get things done on my own. Some days it’s felt pretty impossible! Finally though I have some good news!

I’m going to be putting out a song I produced myself! I’m sure it’s not perfect and I’m sure I’ll make better things in the future but this whole thing feels so crazy to me. I never thought I’d be releasing anything where I did more the majority of work myself this soon. I’m honestly not sure I ever thought I really would. I kept pushing through thinking I wouldn’t actually be able to use what I was making without someone changing a ton of things. I just kept telling myself to keep trying though. It’s the one I wrote with my friend from Ottawa. When I left we really didn’t have anything but a skeleton but I had a really good feeling about it. He’s super busy working with a rapper and it’s hard to try and work remotely if your focus is somewhere else. I started trying to build the song to help give him ideas for what to do with it but the more I did the more I got attached to what I was making. He wanted to scrap everything I did and remake it. I was kinda bummed out about that but I figured it would be best for the song. He’s been so busy that I just wasn’t sure if he was into it anymore. Last week while in a stress writing to beats coma I just opened the file to see what I had going on with it as I hadn’t thought about it for a few weeks and something just told me “hey, finish this”. 

This also kinda came in part with my friend wanting to do a music video. I’ve always wanted to do one but I’ve always wanted to do it right. It needs to feel right. With a non existent budget it can go cheesy so fast. I’ve really wanted to do a video that shows my personality and let’s me just have a stupid amount of fun with my friends. The songs I’ve been working on really don’t have that vibe but this one does.  I really never thought I’d finish it but I wanted to try. This song just feels right for it. 

I’ve got a few more finishing touches to add before I can say it’s 100% done but it’s so close. I ended up getting the help I needed for the last 15% and it just kinda blew my mind away when I realized it was done and not sounding awful. People are already saying it’s better then my last song which is crazy exciting to hear. This feels like the part of me I’ve lost to constant stress. Friday I was so happy and overwhelmed when I heard how close to done it was I just had to go for a run at 230 in the morning. 

I’m on my way to talk to my friends teacher about the video and see if I can make this happen. I’m pretty scared! I do have some high expectations but if I’ve pulled off this song, hopefully I’ll find a way to pull off this video! It’s strange going to the place I went to school last year with a song I finished and produced to talk about a video. Huge change from last year. I miss waking up to go write everyday so so much. It doesn’t really sink in that I’ve made progress but I have.