#lowkey vent

💧

from the moment he’s welded in that sub, he’s marked for death. the red eyed god perceives him, dissects him, chooses him. this one, it says, I see you. ellie forces him into the light, forces his mind to understand, forces him to see the truth. his body changes and breaks and bleeds, morphs and boils and scars in an irreversible way. teeth and viscera and gore. he can’t even trust him mind, his reality. the sub is alive, it breathes, so he breathes. they are one in the same. ava wouldn’t promise him freedom at first, and even when she wanted to give that to him, she couldn’t. the last son of eden, mourning a lost home, a forgotten brother, a station left in pieces, a mother he can hardly remember the face of anymore, a father who created a soldier, who molded him into the butcher.

the stars are gone, he can see the ghostlight, what remains. what remains of him?

simon never wanted any of this. he just wanted to live. his will is strong, stronger than a god’s, and the one choice he makes, is it truly what he wants? to become a tree, to fulfill that old prophecy, to pray and become the prayer. to give humanity its last hope because even if he cannot survive, maybe someone out there can. it’s the right thing to do, to send out the black box, to destroy the eel, to sacrifice himself. simon, oh simon, what if you could have lived? what if you could have seen that hope blossom and grow? to see that future you had little faith in, to realize you were right, that they were waiting for you, that they missed you.

I’m a Bi trans boy and I absolutely love girls. My dream is to marry a girl and have a baby with her and cherish them and they will be my princesses. The idea of a guy on tv that I like be able to do that makes me fucking sick to my stomach. It hurts like genuinely. It’s different with mlm for some reason.

For example, Whitaker and Robby getting together is kind of unrealistic/uncommon but also, with the lense of a trans Whitaker, makes sense because most FTM ppl attract/date men. At least in media.

Nothing wrong with that, love it. But sometimes it hurts to only see FTM guys as a hole, a typically smaller and more vulnerable male that for some reason men chase.