#lowercase t

Didn’t ask to wake up in someone else’s hands Didn’t ask for the puppet strings or marching band They say I’m to quiet, say I just stare But they don’t see me when I’m standing right there

Sleep through class, hide behind the bleachers Threw a bath bomb in the toilet, they called the teachers Said I’m “off,” said I’m “strange” But nobody asked why I changed

Used to ride bikes with Noelle down the street Now she looks confused when our eyes meet Big brother's voice is dust on a dial I scroll through texts just to feel him a while

And Susie? I didn’t think she’d sit beside me Didn’t think anyone would try to find me But we fell into the dark… And inspired a light to spark…

(Chorus) I’m still me underneath Even when I’m not in control I don’t speak, but I breathe With a hand around my soul You steer, you press, you pull the thread But I still dream inside my head Yeah, I still bleed I’m still me underneath

Sometimes I reach in, pull out my soul Lock it away, go take a stroll The air feels cleaner, steps more real A moment alone where I can feel

Prophecies talk of worlds I'm to save But I’m just trying not to cave To all of these rules, all of this weight To the dark and the heartache and unblinking fate

(Chorus) I’m still me underneath Even when the screen goes black I’m the part that’s fighting back You point, you push, you guide the lie But I still see with my own eye Yeah, I still breathe I’m still me underneath

So unsure, before the smoke can clear Biting back my flame out of spite or fear This beast, built for blazing gear But I just hoard regrets and souvenirs. It sears, this molten mess of years But I curl around the pile like it’s the only thing that’s mine. Tired of the climb, coiled out of time, I can't help but… Cry so stupidly, breathe so crookedly Tell me what’s in me that just won't roar? There's so much wanting But not much daunting I wish that I could spread my wings and soar.

[Chorus] But I stumble in the smokescreen Heavy hearted scaled-up drama queen A draggin’ dragon, baby, I don’t know what it even means Hit the tailspin, crash into the stone den Ain’t no fallow flames for a beast this meek So lay me out across the altar to my past A draggin’ dragon, baby, I don’t think the fire’s gonna last I breathe in smoke and spit out sand, Still waiting on a place to land.

[kasane teto] Late Burnt out on all debates Can’t see the forest with my breath ablaze This blaze, staged in endless haze Eighty-time reluctant runner in the patience race So when you leave, I won’t fight The world spins on, it’s a weekday night Don’t wait, 'cause I don’t even know what I would say I… can't …can't…

[Pre-Chorus, lowercase t] I’m so pathetic, I make guilt poetic Second-decent sleep, I won’t breathe deep I’ll fake the fury, rewrite the story I wanna exhale to s-s-s-s-speak

You left the light on in the hallway again, Like you were hoping I'd find my way back. I sit in the silence like a trespasser In a house where I still pay rent.

Dust on the dragon statue's wings, Cupcakes I dream but never eat. I talk to ghosts in the ambient noise And wish they'd talk back to me.

I don’t want to disappear, not really I just want to be missed By someone who sees me completely Without squinting through the mist.

Chorus And I smile! :') even when it burns. Keep the volume up, let the memories churn. I’m not gone, I’m just paused, a breath in between, Glitching at the edge of someone else’s dream. I want to be held, not just endured, I want to feel love that doesn’t need to be earned. So I smile! :') with a heart half-sketched Still loading… still stretched… still here

Someone said the house might be "harmonious" Once I'm no longer haunting the halls. But the walls remember everything Even if the people don’t recall. I am the static between channels, the sweetness left in an empty glass. Trying to matter without asking Try not to shatter if I ask.

There’s a box of donuts in the dream again: No steps, no store, just there. Sometimes I think Love is a vending machine That always eats my dollar And spits out air.