#lovingkarisma

We had just graduated from UC Davis, and we were getting ready for our wedding.  We got married on our 9th Anniversary June 28th 2014.  Life was falling into place, I was going to take the MCAT and apply to medical school, your daddy was going to pursue his career in business/management and real estate. 

Two weeks after our wedding we found out we were expecting you.  We were very shocked but very happy and excited for you.  We didn’t know you were a little girl, and I thought you were a boy because of the cravings I had.  It was August 8th 2014 when we first saw you on the ultrasound moving around and your strong heartbeat.  It was November 4th 2014 when I first felt you move around in my tummy.  You were so wanted and loved from the moment we knew you were coming.  You’re grandparents were so excited and so happy to meet you, they loved you so much.  

We found out you were a little girl on October 11th 2014.  We were so happy that you were a little girl, we had a little princess on the way.  Your daddy said to me, “well you are no longer my princess, you are my queen, because we have a little princess on the way.” We were just so blessed and we enjoyed every moment with you.  Your grandparents were able to come with us to ultrasounds to see you move around and love you.  

Everything was going so well, no problems with the pregnancy or my health. However on Thanksgiving night I was admitted to the hospital because I had a little bleeding.  I was told that my cervix was opened and that your bag was coming out.  The doctors tried to do everything possible to keep you in longer.  Your heartbeat was very strong and you were moving around at your normal time at night and at 10am every morning.  Unfortunately after a week in the hospital and when the antibiotics stopped, your heartbeat also stopped.  December 6th 2014 was the worst day of our lives.  Those words still haunt me til this day, “there is no heartbeat.” I didn’t understand why this was happening, I did everything right, I took care of myself for you.  I waiting until I was married, until we both had degrees, and your grandparents had been waiting for this moment all of their lives.  Why was this happening to us and why couldn’t we do anything about it?  All of those questions never got answers. 

I delivered you naturally and the we were able to hold you, kiss you, sing to you and talk to you.  You were our little blessing and you were beautiful.  We loved you so much and we will always love you.  The nurses and doctors at the hospital were very caring and they cried for you too, you impacted so many people and you are truly a blessing.  So many people prayed for you, and so many people were touched by you.  To this day, people remember you, talk about you and smile when they hear your name.  You have made me stronger than I thought I could ever be.  Because of you I am fearless and I am faithful.  You are my blessing and you will always be in my heart.  Because of you I don’t give up, because of you I am still here and because of you I want to help other, and be there for them.  

Karisma your are forever loved and will forever be remembered... <3