#lovesode

a very vivid, painful, and downright insane hallucination. because that would be the only logical explanation for captain gepard landau waking up in one sampo koski's apartment with not a wound to speak of when ten hours ago, gepard could have sworn he took a surgically sharp ice shard to the chest while shielding the conman. that very same shard he very clearly remembers running him straight through. the pain had been so intense, so immediate, it felt so real, and then there was a great white light. like they always talk about, seeing your maker before you go. in the white light space and time, gepard even recalls thinking it wasn't such a bad way to go. sampo might not be happy with him but, oh well. they always seemed to be at odds, but that didn't mean the man deserved to die alone in the freeze from a fragmentum monster bigger than he's ever seen. gepard was a soldier. that was his job, to die in the line of duty. not sampo.

but the white light faded. gepard blinked focus back to his eyes, trying to hear around the ring in his ears. the monster was gone. maybe, just maybe, sampo was there instead. but it hadn't looked like sampo. but it sort of did? captain was bleeding out by then, choking on his own insides. the sampo-not-sampo said something to him in this very weird hallucination, gepard couldn't tell what it was. he couldn't really hear anything, just that damn ringing. everything had faded out, after that.

now, awake and alert, gepard sits up straight as if struck with electricity, clutching the sheet of the bed to his bare chest as if to try and cover his scarred torso from the other man in the room in some attempt at modesty.

feedback meme // accepting

@lovesode asked   :   “Stay.” // also from jing yuan :3c

a part of dan heng associated the word with anguish. each reverberance of it in the voice of his loved ones had echoed in yinyue’s dreams over and over again. there had been no room for dan heng to exist in the face of so many who wanted - no needed yinyue back in their lives. he was to fit the mold of the ultimate sinner, serve out his sentence, and then, complete the task that his predecessor left behind when he’d torn apart of the seals on the ambrosial arbor. his fate had been written by the sins of his past, and he had never been freed by the shackles of yinyue's selfishness.

to “ stay ” had meant prison. even the sweet words of a younger jing yuan in yinyue’s memories, temptuous with the promise love, had still felt conditional, as if dan heng’s skin would need to be shed so yinyue could reemerge once more.

oh how wrong he’d been.

stellaron crisis resolved months before, brief visits back to the luofu scattered between new trailblazing missions, and only now did dan heng realise he did not want to leave forever. but a year ago he could not imagine returning to the luofu with anything but dread clouding his heart. a glance up up from his tablet, archival notes put on hold as he gazed over the tousled sheets towards his slumbering partner. snowy strands lit up, moon – kissed and ethereal in the quiet reaches of night, handsome features more relaxed than he'd seen him for most of this visit. his heart thrummed, turning warm in his heart like lamplight. absently, the vidyadhara raised his hand, backs of his fingers trailing feather soft along a cheekbone, lovingly over lips he’s since memorized the taste of   (   again, long, never let me forget again, please.   )

there were no shackles anymore, no duty to fulfill, no obligation to a sentence from lifetimes ago. there was only the promise of unequivocable happiness, arms to hold him when he returned no matter the perils he had faced on that journey. gentle, warm eyes who had come to know dan heng, as dan heng, and no one else. how could his past fill him with dread, when “ stay ” now meant home ?   how could he anticipate leaving, when “ stay ” now meant belonging ?   dan heng would place the tablet down, settle into the welcoming embrace of his beloved, and forget the meaning of anguish. plush lips would brush against lionine heartbeat, the words reverent, a prayer almost.

tol & smol prompts / no longer accepting

𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 . the hug that encompasses her is one filled with unbridled affection . it's a familiar hug , a physical adoration that fills ayaka with unadulterated bliss . ever since she was a girl ayato's hugs had been the source of comfort . they were a consolation to her after the death of their parents , of reassurance after the kitten she brought home had ran away ( only to be discovered later ! ) , and of reunion when they were apart and saw each other again . this one was of reunion , her favorite .

as she hugs him now she can smell the scent of something rich infused with notes of sandalwood . he always had that faint smell of parchment lingering on his skin , the bitter scent of ink following in suit . little did he realize that the meld of his work life and his personal life were something she'd grown akin to , the rich scent like an ambrosia to her senses . her chin rests on his shoulder , a wide smile pulled across her lips as she hugs him tightly . ❛ you're back ! ❜ the tone in her voice is laced with excitement , that girlish candor weighted in her expression . as her feet lift off the ground she can't help but laugh . most people outside of the household saw the tempered personality of her brother , but in the walls of the kamisato estate he let down those defenses . or it was simply with her he did . either way ayaka doesn't mind it . ❛ i want to hear all about your trip to sumeru . what did you do ? who did you meet with ? oh , did you bring anything back ? perhaps some spices that thoma can cook with ! ❜ her questions are nonstop as she becomes lost in thought , and it isn't until she feels her heels touch the ground again that she realizes she'd trailed off .

more often than not the fractals of dan feng’s memories were more horrific than pleasant. he could count the many times he’d woken up in a cold sweat, feeling the edge of life slipping from his fingertips. eyes snapped open with a start, fingers clawing into sheets, the same familiar trembling synonymous with nightmares, although, it had been anything but. hands rose to press against his face, feeling the mortifying heat emanating off his skin, the way pleasure curled in his stomach and wisped phantom touches over dan heng’s twitching hips.   "   a-yue. my a-yue.   "   the urge to dunk himself in an ice bath became ever more consistent, more so when he thought about their party’s upcoming plans.

stellaron crisis averted, life would return to a somewhat normal state. he would attempt to kindle friendship with the mysterious general who’d set him free all those years ago. had it been foolish of him to think that this was an act of clemency for a stranger ? perhaps not. jing yuan had not said anything, not expected anything of him   ;   it was dan heng who had approached him first, asked why he had been avoiding him first.   if dan feng’s memories are accurate …   the archivist was jostled out of his thoughts by march’s elbow digging into his ribs, a surprised clarity returning to his eyes as he surveyed the eyes upon him. it wasn’t until his gaze caught the general’s that the familiar heat from this morning returned   ;   a centuries old ache, something twisting in his chest, making him look away as if burned by his sunlight in jing yuan's eyes.

a-yuan.

“   …   my apologies. i need some air.   ”   his usual even tone trembled near the end of his rushed out statement, unfinished still while he exited the room. he needed to be as far away from the general as possible.

@novasynth / @lovesode   :   “  so are we gonna talk about it or are we gonna pretend nothing’s wrong here?  ”

these dreams aren’t mine.   but the blood felt real, and screams did too. his senses could still recall the visage of a corpse, pools of blood, the rushing tides of water running murky with blood. he could feel it. jingliu’s ice. jing yuan’s lightning. the unforgiving torrents of yingxing’s cutting winds amidst a catastrophe of his own doing. the guilt felt like water in his lungs, but more than that the vidyadhara in his memories felt determination like none other. had dan heng ever cared for something as much as the him of his past ? had he ever loathed this much, loved this much ?   what could have possibly been so important he was willing to give into the whims of destruction ?

@lovesode said   :   from luocha ~ !   64.   looking deep into your maybe lover's eyes, before dropping your gaze to their lips   or   93.   sliding your hands down your maybe lover's chest, unzipping their zipper

some deep, and reticent part of former dragon sovereign had understood the blessings of abundance   ;   how they could be miraculous and monstrous in turn, how those that could not come to terms with the former would soon become the latter, lost to their temptations it was a familiar thought that came to mind, come the waking of dreams comprised of memories. maybe there should have been an intrinsic part of him that feared the healing sensation, that pulled back upon the gentle way luocha parted the zipper by his neck, to inspect the wound upon his chest and cast that   (   forbidden   )   healing art.

a stuttered exhale, words meant to alleviate the tension between them dying upon draconic tongue. he’d never been one for small talk. doing so might have been more painful than waiting, following the blonde lines of luocha’s lashes, how feathery they looked up close. what had been pained and heavy, bones misaligned, black and purple bruising lifted in a swirl of healing green light. luocha’s hand lingered and dan heng made no move to pull away, grey – blue eyes dropping to the arch of luocha’s cupid’s bow for a long, heated moment   …